My research is fresh for this one. I’ve recently traveled the fields of high contrast.
Actually, it’s fair to say I’m still processing remnants of it and finding my way back to a good groove again.
But with this recent experience in mind, I thought I’d pass along a couple tips that have helped me through dark times.
The next time you’re dealing with something highly unwanted (like divorce, job loss, financial troubles, loss of a loved one, health issues, or whatever might have you feeling like the world is crashing around you), here are five things for conscious creators to remember:
1. This won’t last forever.
It might seem like the end of the world, but it really will get better. It’s just your time for contrast.
Ride it out to get to the other side, where life gets even better as a result of what you’re living through now. It’s just a time of “step one.” It doesn’t last forever.
2. It’s okay not to feel okay.
Sometimes conscious creators get nervous about feeling bad, because of that whole like attracts like thing. And sometimes we have judgment about not being able to get to a better feeling place on a dime.
But the thing is resisting feeling bad just makes it worse. So let yourself feel whatever you feel, and know that’s the best way to move on.
3. Lay low in the meantime.
This is a good time to cut yourself lots of slack from daily life. Make some room in your schedule for you and eliminate whatever you can that doesn’t offer relief.
Know that while it might be helpful to share what you’re going through with a trusted friend or two as a way to process, you might not want to broadcast your current experience to the entire world. The last thing you need is everyone you know sending “sorry” vibes your way.
You’ve got enough on your plate without others amplifying negative energy by worrying or feeling concerned about you. Plus, it gives you a break from having to talk about it with everyone who wants to know how you’re doing.
Not to mention it takes a lot of energy to process heavy emotions, so give yourself plenty of solo time to do so.
4. Thoughts that feel bad aren’t true.
This one has been a lifesaver lately … every time a scary thought gets hold and threatens to do its worst, I remember what Abe says about thoughts that don’t feel good:
If a thought doesn’t feel good, that means my inner being doesn’t agree with it. Which means Source sees things differently. That’s my cue to practice seeing it differently, too.
I also found Byron Katie’s four questions with a turnaround helpful in finding better-feeling thoughts.
But whatever you do, remember that any thought that doesn’t feel good isn’t even true, so no need to obsess on it.
5. Don’t go it alone.
You might feel totally alone in what you’re going through, but you’re not. You’ve got a team of divine support that you can call on for help.
I asked my angels and guides to help me feel better and help me see things differently. I asked them to help me sleep, and to help me reconnect with Source. I asked them to handle other things for me while I’m in this space, and I asked them to help me know whatever I need to know.
Use your higher power, whoever that is for you, to get top notch support in place.
You’ve probably got incarnated support as well, so let friends and loved ones help however they can. It’ll be good for both of you.
And know that I’m also sending the love your way when it feels like all is lost. It’s no fun to go through dark times, but it isn’t forever and you’re not alone.
One of the things that has helped smooth out the edges of grieving the passing of my dogs Koda and Molly this spring has been a practice I implemented earlier in the year …
A while ago I’d decided to get a white board for the fridge for easier list-making.
But as I started shopping for dry erase boards, I found myself thinking how much fun it would be to have a wall-sized board for capturing favorite moments of each day.
I know to follow inspiration, so while there still isn’t anything for the fridge, next to the laundry room right as you come in from the garage is a three foot tall white board.
And on it is a daily tally of favorite things written with one of the eight color magnetic markers.
It seemed like this board would be an easy way to amp up my appreciation factor, but it has actually turned out to be much more than that.
Throughout the day I’m on the lookout for what that day’s contribution to the board will be.
Which means all day long I’m looking for my favorite thing of the day.
Think about the power of that focus!
You’re exactly right if you thought that when I’m looking for the most wonderful thing of the day, the day can’t help but deliver me wonderful things. It can’t help it! That’s what focus does! Delivers us whatever we’re looking for.
And sure enough, some days I have to put more than one thing on the board, that’s how favorite they are.
Here’s the best part, though …
It’s when company comes over and I have them write their favorite thing on the board, too. Sometimes they ask about an entry, and I get to relive it again as I tell them the story of it.
And then long after they’re gone I still get to enjoy what they wrote as their favorite thing.
Each time I walk by, whether it’s for laundry, or scooping litters in the laundry room, or walking down the hallway to the kitten nursery or puppy room, or taking garbage out or loading up in the car – with every pass I see our favorite things on the big board. And I can’t help but smile.
Even on the rough days. Especially on the rough days. There are my favorite things about life, right there in my own handwriting, reminding me how good life really is.
So much better than a to-do list on the fridge. 🙂
Once it fills up I erase it and start over. Although I never erase “PUPPIES!”
This picture doesn’t do the power of this practice justice, and I know some of you already engage something like this.
But for those of you who don’t, capturing daily high points in a way where you and others can see them in big bold color is a surprisingly fun and effective way to raise the vibe on a regular basis that you can continue to milk until it’s time to do it all over again.
You know I’d love to hear stories from those of you who already practice this. 🙂
“Something really good must be getting ready to happen.”
That’s what the massage therapist concluded when she unexpectedly lost her job with no savings in the bank and no backup plan.
Her default reaction was to assume that something good was in the works.
Not running around trying to fix the problem.
Not telling everyone who would listen to her sad story.
Not pretending it wasn’t happening.
She just assumed that a big unwanted change like that must mean something really good was on its way.
She relaxed into it.
She allowed it to unfold.
Didn’t try to stop it or resolve it. She embraced it.
She went with the flow of life.
Which included a party invite that weekend … that’s when the good stuff started to reveal itself.
(She ended up with a new increased income source, a more agreeable boss, an upgraded clientelle, and more enjoyment and satisfaction from her work.)
Something really good must be getting ready to happen.
I’m doing my best to follow her example on the heels of unexpectedly euthanizing two of my favorite friends in two weeks.
Something really good must be getting ready to happen.
This is easier for conscious creators to believe because we know the value and role of contrast. This is where expansion starts – right here in the crappy crap crapster things in life. Like two emergency vet visits in a fortnight, that result in a ride home with one less dog in the car. Twice. Not my favorite thing.
We know that the worse it is, the better it has the potential to get.
Because that’s how it works – unwanted experiences lead to new desires which lead to expansion. That’s how life keeps getting better.
All we have to do is not get caught up in the contrast, don’t resist what’s happening, don’t try to fix it ourselves, and just let the next good thing find its way to us.
It’s what happened when it became clear my corporate job was in jeopardy. (That’s what finally made me brave enough to pursue my dream of becoming an LOA coach! Even though I did get a short term transition job in the meantime.)
It’s what happened when my ex fought me for the house. (He won, and I moved to paradise! I never would have moved otherwise – I loved that house so much it felt like I was leaving a part of my soul behind. But up here at my new place it’s like this is where my true self lives! It’s amazing! I’ll facebook post video of the two moose in my backyard this morning!)
It’s what happened when I stopped resisting the extra weight I was carrying on this body. (I finally learned to love it instead of resist it, and that’s when my freakin’ body got even better! It was unbelievable how it just sort of melted off when I stopped needing it to!)
So, I’m doing my best to follow that massage therapist’s lead and remember that something really good is happening right now, too.
All I have to do is say yes to what life brings, instead of resisting the contrast, and accept the party invites that come my way.
Sharing this in case anyone else can benefit from the reminder. 🙂
Once Walter White started making serious money in season 3 of Breaking Bad, his boss and would-be mentor Gustavo Fring told him:
“… this life of ours, it can overwhelm. You are a wealthy man now, and one must learn to be rich. To be poor, anyone can manage.”
This was good advice.
The kind of advice we don’t get very often.
Much of the teachings about creating personal financial wealth are focused on how to acquire and manage money.
Traditional financial gurus advise how to make it, save it and invest it, approaching wealth as if it were a matter of living below our means and socking the rest away in smart investments.
As a former certified financial planner I get the wisdom those teachings are built on.
But anyone who has followed that muggle advice knows there is more to it than that.
It’s not enough to know how to get the money. In fact, that’s not even the important part.
The important part of creating financial wealth is that we learn how to be with money. How to get comfortable having money. To learn the vibration of being rich.
And that’s a thing.
It takes practice to be rich.
(Unless you already know that vibration – which you might, if you picked it up from parents or other influences in your world.)
But if you don’t know that energetic frequency, it’s essential to learn it in order to allow the money to manifest in your world.
Because law of attraction.
We have a tendency to keep creating whatever we’re used to. Whether that’s paycheck to paycheck living, or making the same six figures we can’t seem to break out of.
It’s a thing to learn the vibration of financial wealth. (The same way it is to learn any unfamiliar vibration.)
If all we know is financial struggle or striving, then it doesn’t matter how much advice we follow about making or managing money, because we only experience whatever we vibrate. And learning how to save or manage or even make more money doesn’t automatically mean we learn the vibration of wealth and prosperity.
That’s why I wish there were more books that taught us how to be rich, rather than how to make money.
Ramit Sethi (whose work I highly respect) promises “I will teach you to be rich.”
I wish that’s what he taught. He teaches how to make and manage money.
Making more money is not the same as being rich.
In fact, was it T. Harv Eker or Jim Rohn, someone like that once said that if a man wins the lottery, the first thing he better do is learn to be rich.
A lot of people would assume someone who won the lottery is already rich.
But he won’t stay that way long if he doesn’t know how to be with money.
That’s why so many lottery winners and pro athletes burn through their cash in short order … they never learned how to be rich.
Conscious creators know that whatever we desire starts with learning the vibration of that desire first.
We learn the vibration of what we want, and then the way there is revealed.
It’s no use learning how to get rich if you don’t also know how to be rich.
The next time I see a list of 8 books that teach you to be rich, I hope it is that: a tutorial on how to learn the mindset of wealth. How to own the vibration of financial prosperity.
In the meantime, I’ll do my part here with a new series on how to really be rich.
We’ll start where it matters – vibrationally.
Here are the first two posts of the series:
Stay tuned for the rest of the tutorial that truly makes the difference, or join GVU now for the 6 part course that launches July 10th.
It’s one thing to want something; it’s another to believe it will happen.
Like when you want a big tax refund, but you haven’t had one in over a decade and there’s no reason to believe it’ll happen this year.
Or when you want a passionate romance with your long term partner, but that simply hasn’t been your experience.
Or when you want an enjoyable work-life balance, but your job requires more time and energy than you can comfortably invest.
Yes, we conscious creators can theoretically believe in anything. “If you can imagine it, you can have it,” we’ve all been taught.
But learning how to believe in what we want is a skill. Aligned belief doesn’t always (or even usually) happen instantly or automatically.
Often that expectation needs to be conjured.
The good news is you can learn to expect what you want. It’s a reliable process that just takes commitment and imagination.
When we regularly train our attention on the result we want, practicing it in our mind’s eye by seeing it and hearing it and feeling it – that pre-experiencing of our desire acclimates us to having it.
That process alone can help us believe in it – just by sheer mental exposure. (Kind of like brainwashing.)
We can also remind ourselves of reasons to believe in it. Practicing the thoughts that help us expect it can marry up our desire with our expectation.
And when we learn to expect the thing that we want – we’re home free. Abraham says anyone who has strong desire and strong belief is unstoppable.
But getting there can require some work.
Think about your newest desire … what would you love to create if you could create anything?
With that in mind, ask yourself on a scale of 1-10 what your expectation level of that is. (1 is it’s hopeless; 10 is done deal, easy peasy, it’s in the bag.)
Anything less than an 8 is worthy of doing some thought work on.
For a recent personal example, this weekend I wanted my foster kittens to have a smooth and easy experience of getting vaccinated.
My belief level in that desire was maybe a 6.5. Whether I had to transport unvaccinated kittens to a vet’s office, or meet up with another rescue volunteer in a parking lot, or convince someone to make the 90 minute drive to my place – every option at my disposal was less than ideal.
And frankly, my vibration around vaccinations is less than ideal already, since I lost a cat to autoimmune disease years early (likely caused by maintaining the recommended vaccination schedule) and a friend just lost her puppy the day after receiving its first vaccinations.
So I’m sketchy here.
And I didn’t take the time to get properly lined up. Yes, I plugged into some info that was meant to build my confidence, and I recruited some help. And no, it wasn’t a complete disaster, but it was not the smoothest easiest experience I had wanted for them.
Because I didn’t raise my expectation to meet my desire. I still expected trouble. And that’s what I got.
That’s why it’s worth recognizing that Universe doesn’t deliver what we want; it delivers what we vibrate. Wanting it isn’t enough if we don’t also learn to expect it.
Learning to expect what you want is a manifesting skill worth cultivating.
You can start today by:
That’s all it takes to train yourself into the vibration of having it.
Once you’re there, the world is yours to do with as you please.
I’ll do a better job with the puppies next month. 🙂