It’s a common question among conscious creators: how to manifest for others?
Whether it’s a child you’d like to see heal; a spouse you want to help get the new job; or a friend you’d love to support in finding a relationship – many creators wonder how to put their manifesting powers to work on behalf of a loved one.
We’ve covered this before, but the question keeps coming, so let’s cover it again.
First, it’s worth remembering that we can’t create on someone else’s behalf. Everyone has free will and runs their own vibration. They can’t experience what they aren’t vibrationally aligned to.
So you’re not in charge of them.
If they are strongly committed to their struggle, all your best intentions can go the wayside.
Also, we don’t know what’s best for someone else. Not really.
It might seem obvious what would be good for them, but things could look very differently from Source perspective.
So it’s worth not getting attached to details. (Maybe there’s a better job, or a different calling, or a better lover in store. We don’t really know.)
Just sayin’ it’s worth not getting too hung up on particular details, and instead doing some high level focusing. (As in “happy,” “thriving,” “fulfilled.”) Let Universe fill in the details.
Third, you’re probably already doing it.
You probably already are co-creating a loved one’s reality with them.
Because you likely already vision things for them …
You imagine them struggling or succeeding; you think of them as happy or discontent; you talk about them as doing well or having a hard time.
So your creative powers are likely already at work.
Here’s how to ensure we’re working in highest service of our loved ones:
Mind your own business first. Abe says the greatest gift we can give another is our own happiness, and that we can’t be of any real service to another if we’re kinked our own selves. So you best affix that oxygen mask to your own self before you try helping another.
If you’re confident you’ve got the vibrational goods to share, then it’s a simple matter of engaging the highest vision of your loved one’s success.
You could either conjure this vision daily, or just whenever you find yourself thinking about them. See them thriving, imagine their smile and satisfaction, hear their laughter and practice knowing how well everything worked out for them.
Or as Abe puts it, connect with the “vortex version” of your loved one.
You could do that through visualizing, scripting, affirming, journaling, acting as if, or however you like to activate the vibration.
By doing so you create a vibrational foundation that they can join you in, or not. It’s ultimately up to them.
And if you can’t think about them without worrying or fretting, then you’re better off not thinking on them at all.
Because if you perceive them as in trouble, or struggling, or screwing things up, you’re not helping. That perception co-creates their challenges, so lay off if they’ve got their hands full already.
(Again, tend to your own vibe first before you go trying to straighten out someone else’s.)
Also, please make sure your own happiness isn’t dependent on what’s going on with them. It’s the mark of a master manifestor to maintain your own feel-good even when others around you aren’t.
Which just means you aren’t doing them any favors if you join them in upset, discouragement, fear, etc.
Hold the good ground, even if you have to ignore their plight to do it.
Because sometimes it’s just too hard to watch a loved one’s suffering and still be able to imagine their successful turnaround.
Does this stuff work? Absolutely.
I know from experience and from many fellow creators’ stories that magic can happen when you use your focusing powers this way.
I’ve seen countless successes from fellow creators when they engaged this work, including:
The list could on forever …
This is what savvy LOA coaches do for their clients – see them thriving and successful instead of struggling or failing.
My own witchy bff recently intervened on my vibrational behalf by seeing my success where I doubted it; and by pouring buckets of love on a problematic person. (She knew I wasn’t tapping the love, so she did it for me.)
With miraculous results.
Not every time for every person. But often enough to know this power is real.
So use yours wisely.
Because like I said, you’re probably already doing it. 🙂
Sometimes successfully manifesting what we want calls for distraction. Or letting go. Sometimes it’s best to act as if. Or appreciate what is.
And you know I’m a huge fan of praying rain.
What if you could roll all of those alignment practices into one?
That’s sort of how I think about the manifesting process of Done Dealing It.
That’s where you treat your desire like it already happened. So you can move on to other things, because this one is complete.
It combines the power of praying rain, letting go, distraction, appreciation, and acting as if. Cool huh?
Here’s a small elaboration on what it means to Done Deal It:
In your mind, just consider it done. Maybe even do a little mental happy dance that that particular dream came true, and don’t focus on it any more. Because you already nailed it.
Until your mind goes back to it, and then just remind yourself you already got what you wanted and go about your business. Done deal it.
You want to author a best seller? Or solve a health crisis? Sell a home, or buy a dream one?
Treating it like it’s a done deal may be your best ticket to alignment.
Because think about the signal Universe gets from you when you treat this thing like it’s done – it’s gonna hustle to make you right!
(Since that’s all Universe ever does – hustle to make us right no matter what we think.)
When you done deal it, you’re no longer wanting it, or trying to figure it out, and you’re certainly not fretting about it. Because it’s already done.
The best thing you can do is move on to your next dream until you feel the tap on your shoulder from Universe to accept delivery of the thing you already practiced knowing to be complete.
This may not work for every manifesting project we’re working on, but sometimes, when you’re not getting traction with your current manifesting approach or you’re starting to get a little fed up with lack of progress, this one can make the difference.
In fact, it’s how my foster kittens have been getting adopted in record time into fabulous homes this past year. Nancy Barry-Jansson heard me speak to an intention to get my kittens adopted swiftly into good homes (I had some anxiety about it for a variety of reasons not worth repeating), and she responded by saying they already were adopted into fabulous homes. It was already done!
And when you remember that time is just an illusion, it’s easy to feel the truth of that. Everything’s already happening and it’s all happening now. So this isn’t even a stretch to embrace the thought of it as done. Because on some level it is.
I took Nancy’s cue, and every time I noticed myself wondering or doubting or worrying, I remembered it was already done. They already are in fabulous homes. As I felt that feeling, I knew I was conjuring magic.
Even though I was right there scooping their litterboxes, I tuned into the “done deal” of kittens in fabulous homes, and it didn’t take reality long to catch up to that vibration.
In fact, I had to manage some unpreparedness for how quickly they were adopted. (My head spun it was so fast!) It wasn’t just fast, either – it’s fabulous families who showed up to take them home! Which is a big deal for me, because this particular subject has in the past been shaky territory for me vibrationally.
And for the record, this technique doesn’t preclude inspired action; on the contrary it fosters it.
But if you have any questions about how to engage this manifesting method, post below and we’ll share our best tips for putting the magic of the Done Deal into your law of attraction success bank.
But there are two secrets that savvy creators know make all the difference in the world when it comes to drawing in the love of a lifetime.
These aren’t popular suggestions, but they are powerful ones. So if you’re serious about getting jiggy with someone’s heart, here’s how you’d do well to proceed:
Secret #1: Love yourself.
If you want someone else to love you, you get to lead the way.
Not because no one will love you if you don’t, but because you won’t feel it until you do.
We get what we vibrate, so if you want someone who loves and adores you, you’ll want to know how to love and adore yourself.
The more challenging that is for you to do, the more important (and potent) it is to practice.
And if you don’t know how to love yourself, it’s as simple as treating yourself the same way you would anyone else you love. In thought and action. You know how to be good to someone else, right? Be that kind of good to yourself and you’re well on your way to allowing a fabulous love into your life.
Secret #2: Love being single.
If you’re trying to manifest a lover out of resistance to not having one, you’ll like just perpetuate the single state.
What really cues Universe for your good time in the romance department is getting okay with – or better yet, embracing – being unaffiliated.
A lot of folks are nervous to do this, because they think they’ll end up alone forever if they let themselves enjoy it.
It’s the exact opposite.
You can’t have a good time with another person until you know how to have a good time alone.
It’s that law of attraction thing, you know. Whatever you’re vibrating is what you get more of. So if you’re in a state of “I don’t like this; I don’t want this” you’re just gonna get more of it.
Which means getting happy being single is one of the most powerful ways to attract a new love.
And if you don’t know how to be happy being single, just ask any of your married friends about the upside of rolling solo. They’ll help open your eyes to the benefits of your current situation.
Plus, when you love life as is, you become very attractive – in more ways than one. Just make sure you don’t give that up when you commit to your new lover. 🙂
A reader emailed this morning asking how to manifest for someone else, which is a common desire among conscious creators.
Here is one favorite practice from a fellow creator found to be exceptionally effective:
First of all, don’t tell anyone you’re doing it.
Otherwise your ego gets caught up in it and that’s not the cleanest energy. So keep quiet about it.
Second, all you do is take five minutes a day to visualize their success.
Just loosely hold it in your mind’s eye, playing with the fantasy of what you want for them.
See it unfolding; imagine their happiness. Just an old-school visualization of them getting what they want. Nothing fancy or mysterious.
Do that for 30 days straight and that’s it.
So that’s 5 minutes a day for 30 days of tuning in to their success – and your work is done.
The reason this is so powerful is because your unattached, pure energy helps crack this dream open for them.
Obviously, this isn’t likely to work on someone who doesn’t desire what you’re dialing up. (If they don’t want it, it’s not in their vortex.) So be sure you’re using this magic to create something the other person actually wants.
The beauty of using your creative powers on behalf of another is that it builds your focusing muscle, as well as your confidence. When you see the results, you can then use those enhanced skills for creating your own dreams and desires even better than before.
So this can be a self-serving process. 🙂
Here’s an example of what can happen when this is put into practice …
The first time one creator did this was for a happily married couple she knew was having trouble getting pregnant. They were a lovely couple and very much wanted to have a baby.
So she visualized a successful pregnancy for the wife.
Before the 30 days was even up, the wife was pregnant.
With another man’s baby. !!
The wife reported that it was the strangest thing – she never had any designs on any other guy. It just sort of happened out of the blue.
She had a healthy baby, the couple got divorced, and the woman is now happily married to the father of the baby.
I’m imagining wonderful things happened for that original husband, too. (Just because Universe is cool like that.)
Another creator who also used this exercise pointed his “manifest for another” power for a friend of his who wanted to be married. At the time the guy was a 25 year old virgin not getting any action at all, and before he knew it he was saying “I do” to his new love.
So maybe watch where you point this thing!
People regularly ask how to keep others from bringing you down when you’re trying to hold a good vibe.
It’s something we’ve all run into before, I suspect.
In fact, you guys gave great advice for how to handle that in this Q&A post from last year.
Since it’s such a common question, I wanted to address it again.
… it’s good for a conscious creator to know how to handle that kind of input.
We all know how wearing it can be to try to help a faultfinder see things differently. In fact, if we spend too much time doing that, we may end up as discouraged as they are.
Here’s what I’ve found works:
1. Limit exposure.
Sometimes it’s as easy as choosing not to interact with the negative nelly in your life. You can end friendships or romances that require more work to stay in positive territory than it’s worth. You can even minimize time spent with family members who are chronic complainers.
If you’re stuck at work with a co-worker who brings you down, I know people who have employed ear buds, strategic turning of chairs, adjusted schedules, etc. to create time away from the draining colleague.
Often this is the path of least resistance that we don’t even consider choosing. But if that doesn’t feel fab, try the next suggestion:
2. Let them have it their way.
Because we know the power of thoughts, we’re often tempted to help friends and loved ones switch out of their negative mindset. But that can backfire. (What we resist persists.)
In the interests of not offering resistance, you might even try “loving this about them.” You know we practice that with our own self-love (loving the ‘unlovable’)? It can be a transformational experiment to practice embracing them with their negativity and all.
After all, you know why we love Oscar the Grouch, Grumpy Cat, and Up’s ornery old guy so much? Because they’re rather entertaining when we know they can’t hurt us.
So best advice is to remember that we don’t all have to agree, and your good vibe doesn’t depend on theirs. So don’t exert a lot of effort trying to convince them life is good. Just let them be (maybe even love them for it) and follow the next tip:
3. Get grounded in your perspective.
Don’t let them sway you to the dark side. There’s this thing called entrainment, where someone who is strongly committed to a particular vibration can sweep others up in it. Remember how you want to feel and keep your thoughts focused where they serve you. They’ll make their exit soon enough if you can maintain your good vibe.
Here’s an example of that:
One day I was having a perfectly lovely afternoon when a boyfriend walked through my door in an exceptionally angry state of mind. I can’t remember what he was so mad about, but it was definitely directed at me.
As he ranted about whatever he was so upset about, I felt my blood pressure rising. I was starting to get hot, too (“I didn’t deserve this! What’s wrong with him?”), and I took a breath to fire back – but in that breath I had a flash of insight: this isn’t how I want to feel. I was having a perfectly nice day – why would I ruin it? This isn’t even mine. He’s the one who’s mad – I don’t have to join him in it. I know better. And I exhaled that breath I’d taken to let him have it, and instead let him continue his tirade for another minute.
And that’s about all it took for him to realize I wasn’t going to join him in this “upset” energy. He paused for my response, which I think I said something to acknowledge that I heard him. When I didn’t take the vibrational bait he turned on his heels and slammed the door behind him.
Because peace and love can’t hang with anger and hate for very long. Something’s gotta give. Make sure it isn’t you.
4. Ask them to keep it to themselves.
This isn’t appropriate for all situations, but sometimes the easiest thing to do is make a request of the person shoveling the sh*t your way.
“I’m making a concerted effort not to worry about this, so I’d appreciate it if you didn’t add to my concerns.” Or maybe something like, “I get that that’s how you feel; I see it differently. Let’s leave it at that.”
Yesterday Russ practiced this with me by simply saying, “I’m not going to argue with you about this.” And that was that. (Hint taken, sweetheart!)
I’ve asked my animal rescue friends to not share horror stories with me. They know to call me with good news. When my contact calls for help, he keeps the “problem” part of the situation to a minimum. It can be surprisingly effective to just make a solid request of someone to be more considerate about what they’re sharing.
5. Pre-pave your interactions.
And then there are times to just get magical about it. You can use your creative powers to have a different experience with the negative nelly in your life:
Set an intention in advance. Plug into the feeling you want to feel before you get there. Practice knowing them differently. Imagine positive exchanges unfolding instead of bracing for the onslaught of negativity.
My success rate with these techniques isn’t 100%, but it’s close enough to feel like magic when I remember to use it!
Bonus tip: crossing paths with someone dialed on the negative can be a wake up call to check our own perspective. If we’ve been repressing our own negative thoughts, sometimes they come out of someone else’s mouth.
More than anything it gives us a chance to walk our LOA talk by remembering external circumstances do not dictate how we feel. Rather, we choose how we feel. And we can do that right now, by choosing not to be brought down by Mr./Ms. Grumpy Pants.
Lead your own party by choosing how you want to roll, and let them make their exit if they aren’t up to speed.
Hope that offers some helpful alternatives for the next time you’re in this boat.
And I’d love to hear what’s worked for you. If you’ve got a great story to share or a tip that we haven’t covered, thanks for sharing in the comments.
Earlier this month my friend Melanie Bates shared an abundance exercise I’d never used before.
I played along for fun and ended up manifesting a roughly $10,000 windfall in 10 days.
(My goal was one thousand in ten days, so I was impressed with the results.)
Some of you may be interested in playing with this one, too, so here’s the “money out of the blue” exercise as I learned it from Melanie (who picked it up from Martha Beck):
Get out paper and pen to write out three short lists:
- The first list is to jot down three times you’ve felt abundant.
- The second list is for three times you’ve felt generous.
- And the third list is to document three times you’ve felt ease.
(Easy way to remember the three things is with the acronym AGE: abundance, generosity, ease.)
Conscious creators will recognize the power in conjuring up those particular vibrations! And Melanie says feel free to write down more than three things if so inspired.
Then write down an amount of money you’d like to see manifest out of the blue. Make it a believable amount. (Meaning, don’t choose a million bucks if that’s hard to believe.)
Then write the date you’d like to see this money manifest by and mark that date on the calendar.
Your next step, which may be the most important, is to release attachment and forget about it. Go about your life and continue enjoying yourself, without a thought to how this amount might arrive.
When I did this exercise a few weeks ago I chose a thousand dollars in ten days (because I have a good track record with those numbers).
I was able to forget about it – except for the times I looked at the calendar where I’d written “$1,000 from the ethers” next to a big smiley face.
At first it was easy to feel positive anticipation each time I saw it on the calendar, but as time passed and the date approached I started feeling doubtful, thinking things like, “Is this really gonna work?” and “How’s that gonna happen that fast?”
But I did my best to shrug off those thoughts and follow Melanie’s instructions to go about my business, not worrying about failing the abundance exercise.
The day before my date arrived I was prepping to leave town and needed to wrap up some business paperwork beforehand …
… in the process I discovered I had a nearly ten thousand dollar distribution coming my way. In all my years of solopreneurship nothing like that has ever happened and I certainly never expected it.
In fact, I spent a lot of time puzzling over the forms, wondering how in the world it happened. My situation shouldn’t have warranted this.
Yet there it was.
It took me a minute to realize Universe had delivered on the abundance exercise in spades.
Melanie also had a delightful success, so I’m not alone in having fun with this one.
Disclaimer: this exercise is unlikely to work for anyone desperately needing money, or for anyone who has a hard time giving up control in favor of trusting Universe.
But for the rest of you – have fun with it. 🙂
I’ve seen my share of beach weddings in Maui this week, so it seems serendipitous to post this reader’s question about what it takes to manifest a marriage proposal.
Here’s the question from an LOA-savvy aspiring bride:
I’ve been wanting and trying to manifest marriage (or at least a marriage proposal) from my boyfriend for about the last year.
I feel like I’ve tried everything to manifest a marriage proposal from him, and while over the last year I seemed to get close (he brings it up and talks about our future, his mom even mentions it) – I still haven’t been asked.
In fact, a number of the girls in my life have gotten engaged in the last 5 months!
So if I’ve been thinking about getting engaged to my boyfriend for the last year, why hasn’t it happened yet?
… and everything in between. It’s just not coming.
I’m aware that my focus is so hugely on the fact that it’s not here, and that is a main part in the reason it’s not here.
But even when I try to not focus on that and be happy with the now, it seems I can only keep that focus for so long until my mind goes back to what’s not there – a ring on my finger, from him.
I’m hoping you might have some words of wisdom for me or tell me to try something that I haven’t tried. Just anything! I really hope to hear back from you!
Okay, readers, you’re up. Let’s help a sister out with some LOA friendly tips.
What advice do you have for our friend who wants to manifest a marriage proposal from her sweetie?
Holding resentments and grudges is a great way to mess up our alignment.
Which is why so many spiritual teachers talk about practicing forgiveness.
I’ve never been a big fan of forgiveness, though, because in order to practice it one is required to assume the position of “someone done me wrong.”
Conscious creators know that ultimately there’s no such thing as a ‘victim’ since we only get what we vibrate. Nothing happens to us that we’re not already aligned with.
So forgiveness has never lit me up because I can’t really buy into the belief that I’m a victim. Just doesn’t fly with LOA principles. I mean, sure, I can have kinky vibes all over the place, but my experiences are 100% my creations.
So the closest I really get to “forgiveness” these days is cutting my own self some slack for messy vibes. But even then, contrast is what fuels the system, so it’s still all good, no matter what.
Having said that, it does feel super fab to liberate myself from resentments and grudges.
My favorite way to do that is something I learned from dad a few years ago, when I heard him say, “I don’t hold anything against anyone any more.”
Just saying it feels good!
Even if I don’t mean it quite all the way yet, it helps me get to a more free place when I repeat it out loud.
Right now it’s an ideal I aspire to. And I can get there by speaking it into existence – again and again.
It’s what I remind myself when I feel the constrictive energy that comes with thoughts like:
When I’m tired of entertaining a blamey type thought, instead of practicing forgiveness, I just repeat dad’s mantra: “I don’t hold anything against anyone any more.”
And I like the idea of it so much that I can feel resentment start to melt away. I can feel the grudge slipping through my formerly graspy fingers as I dial off of thoughts about how someone did me wrong.
My dad is the first to say he’s still got sticky places of his own, where the mantra isn’t fully true on all subjects.
But every time we engage it we get closer to peace, freedom, and higher alignment.
And that’s something I can get behind.