Here’s an easy way to have what you want:
Speak it so in the form of an “I Am” declaration.
That’s all it takes to offer the vibrational instruction that changes the course of events.
It’s what I’ve been using when I notice things are not going how I prefer them to go, and thus my attention is on things not going my way, which makes me a co-creator to the very outcome I don’t want.
But by declaring, “Wait a minute. I am having what I want!” – speaking those words (even in the midst of the contrary thing) and feeling what they represent, means I am no longer a match to things going wrong.
Instead I am a match for things working out.
I’ve been playing with this little spell in a variety of ways the last couple months, and find the “bossiness” of it rather satisfying.
“I am having what I want.”
Like I’m a diva or a princess who is used to getting what she wants.
I say it when the fork is stuck in the dishwasher and I’m frustrated it won’t come out. Sigh. And then I remember my new trick: “I am having what I want.”
I feel the energy turn. Just speaking the words dials me off of angst and onto relief.
I close the dishwasher because I’m done fooling around with this frustrating thing. I’m having what I want, after all. And as I close the dishwasher door, I hear the fork clatter free.
Just like that.
I say it when I can’t find a graphic designer for the next project on my plate, and I’m feeling stymied yet again by lack of support. “Wait a minute. That’s not me. I am having what I want!”
And in that moment I feel inspiration to play with the project anyway, doing whatever parts I can do myself right now, and very soon I realize holy crap, I don’t actually need a designer for this after all. Way to save $2k and 2 weeks, girlfriend!
A friend said it when she was fed up with bad dates online, and declared she was done with this routine. Instead she is having what she wants!
When her tinder date cancelled for the night, she curled up on the couch with microwaved popcorn for a Netflix binge (she loves both those things), and took a call that night from an old friend back in town wondering if she might be interested in getting together again.
That girl is definitely having what she wants, last time I heard!
Don’t dismiss this manifesting technique because it’s so simple … all the best manifesting methods are!
If you’ve played around with this spell, or something like it, we’d love to hear how it’s working for you in the comments. 🙂
It’s the question that transforms your day (and thus your life) when you answer it regularly.
Read more to learn how this sticky note magic can work for you …
We know how easy it is for our attention to be drawn in ways that don’t serve us …
Often we’re focused on current reality (in which case we just manifest more of the same) or gremlins hijack it to dwell on what we don’t want (thus the beginning of a downward spiral until we course correct).
That’s one reason why it’s important to develop the discipline of harnessing attention toward what we want.
It sounds simple, but anyone who’s been in this game knows it can be tricky to pull off.
That’s one reason I’m such a fan of using a one-question sticky note that prompts me every morning to focus in a way that serves me.
As I wash hands first thing in the morning and see this note on the mirror, it points my attention toward what I want, rather than letting my thoughts run rampant without any guidance.
Pre-sticky note my thought pattern went something like this:
Man, why is it so dark outside? Shouldn’t it be getting light by now? No wonder January depression is a thing. Do I have to shower today? What do I have today? Mm, I gotta prep for that call. I should have gone to the store yesterday. There’s no bread. I gotta make this day work for me. Does Molly have to go out? I better make her go out.
Post-sticky note internal monologue goes more like this:
“What do I want?” Hmm, what do I want? Well, I want to enjoy this day. I want to make the most of it. I want breakfast! I want to show up for my people in a way that inspires us! I want to feel fabulous about myself and what I’m doing! I want to love this body. I want to be a match for good things, letting Universe deliver the goods. I want love on this cat who’s asking for some TLC right now. Is it time for breakfast, kitty? Let’s go do it!
I don’t know if you can feel the difference, but I sure can!
Maybe you’ve already got a habit that helps draw your thoughts into alignment with what you want. (We’d love to hear it!)
For those who aren’t practicing something that makes it easier to think the good thoughts, give this sticky note method a try and let me know how it works.
This is the story of my accidental scripting manifestation – from yesterday. Not years ago; not back before I knew better. From yesterday. (smh)
You know I’m a big fan of scripting what we want into being. I know how well it works to speak what we want until it becomes so.
I practice it just about every morning in the form of an out loud “I am” statement.
I freakin’ wrote the book on pray rain journaling.
I know this stuff.
And yet, listen to what I created without even realizing it …
It all started when I lost a bet to a friend.
The pay-up was that I would talk to him the way I talk to my dogs.
Silly, ridiculous, but also easy because I talk to my dogs in a very specific and practiced way every day.
That way is with LOVE. Lots and lots of love and adoration and appreciation.
I mean, a love that can’t be measured. Off the charts love.
So much love that it makes people roll their eyes. (Fellow dog owners know what I’m talking about. It’s the universal language of people who have dogs in the family.)
Okay, so I had to talk to him in that manner for the rest of the day.
And I did.
I was good at it. I didn’t hold back. (He pays up proper when he loses; I was going to do the same.)
And get this – by the end of the day I was feeling exponential love. For him. Not just for my dogs who inspire that speech, but for the guy that I spoke to that way for hours.
This is not a guy I was trying to drum up extra feelings for. This is not someone I had designs on turning into a love interest. I hadn’t set any intentions for activating a love relationship.
And yet there it was happening.
Because of how I was speaking to him.
With earnest love and strong emotion.
Honestly, you’d think I’d know better.
I found myself entertaining thoughts of how I could get more time with this guy. How could I let him know how much I appreciated him? And how in the world did he get to be such a cool guy?
You know how he got to be so cool? I spoke him that way.
I spoke my love for him into being.
When I realized what was happening, I said, “This might make a good post.” Which made us both laugh.
But my point here really is this:
Your speech is powerful. Use it wisely.
It doesn’t matter if you don’t even consciously want it.
(Says everyone who ever got sick after calling in a sick day.)
And it doesn’t take long – especially when you have strong emotion in your words.
Remember Mike Dooley’s “It’s a good thing I’m rich!” whenever he opened a big bill he didn’t know how to pay? And Sekou Andrews’ “I am awesome!” anthem?
The words you speak will alter the reality that forms around you.
But if you want it to last, you’ve got to keep speaking it.
My pretend script got real results in short order – but if I didn’t keep it up, the new results would wither as the words did.
Which just proves yet again that we become what we practice, so let’s practice what we prefer. Without attachment, without need, just for fun because we can.
Because we’re cool like that. 🙂
What’s the swiftest, most reliably effective way to manifest what you want?
You likely know the answer to that question better than anyone else does.
Because it might not be the same answer for all of us, all the time.
Sometimes the best way might be to let go and forget about it.
Sometimes the best way is to commit to a more aligned focus.
I’ve written before that the best way to get what you want is to love yourself.
But I have a suspicion that there’s one answer that would serve us all exceptionally well in nearly every circumstance.
That is to love your life.
To do more of what you enjoy. To minimize tolerations and maximize fun. To engage what makes you smile or laugh, and to amplify what makes your heart sing.
That’s what I suspect could be the best ticket to aligning to what we desire.
Which is the same message we hear all the time – emphasizing the power of appreciation and getting happy.
But truly prioritizing a good time could very well be the trick that helps all formerly elusive desires manifest.
We don’t have to know about vibration. We don’t have to be aware of thoughts and know how to shift them. We don’t have to converse with higher power every day asking for guidance.
It could be as simple as following our hearts and having fun. Whatever that means for you.
I’m not just theorizing, though …
I’m putting it to the real life test.
By turning an already good life into something even better. By intending and expecting and choosing whatever makes my heart soar.
So far that’s included:
- clearing the air with an ex
- expanding my musical horizons, and listening more often
- saying yes to more fabulous food options
- making time for engaging stories (thank you, Hulu!)
- picking up new hobbies (paddle boarding and target shooting)
- arranging dog care (thanks Grammaw!) so it’s easier to get to live concerts, the drag races, gem faires, and weekend hiking trips
- got my own sex pillow (thanks, Karen!) and also might have sexted someone for the first time (more fun than I realized!)
- volunteering at my local wildlife rehab center, and lots more.
My colleague Lisa Hayes was the one who suggested this to me. And I think she was right on the money.
And here’s the thing …
Having a good time isn’t even something we have to figure out or coordinate ourselves.
A simple intention to experience more life joys and delights is all it takes to get results. (That’s all I started with, and the surprise joys were rolling in within hours!)
You’re invited to join me in this “loving life even more” experiment …
See what you can say yes to that brings higher levels of happiness and enjoyment in your life, and see if you also notice lots of other things starting to go your way, too.
Either way, I figure there’s no way to lose on this gig. 🙂
Many conscious creators know the importance of self-love …
but we don’t always know how to practice it.
Let’s remedy that now.
I’ve got an ebook that goes deep on the subject, but everyone should at least know the basics of how to treat themselves well.
Our manifesting success depends on it, since the Universe can only be as good to us as we are to ourselves.
Without further ado, here are my top five favorite methods to engage self-love:
1. Say something nice every night.
I learned this one from Jack Canfield, who looks himself in the eye every night in the bathroom mirror after he’s brushed his teeth, to say a couple of nice things to himself.
The same way he’d say something supportive or encouraging to his kids or a valued employee, he turns that love on himself before bed every night.
When I do this, it might be a shoutout for how well I handled something that day, or a simple rampage of appreciation on my good hair day, or what a clever outfit I put together, or how smart I was to remember that thing that needed remembering.
Jack said his negative self-talk disappeared after 40 days of that practice. (!)
I can vouch for how this self-love practice can take hold and dramatically improve our overall self-talk once we get a good practice going.
2. Say yes to what you want.
This practice is all about saying no when it’s a genuine no, and saying yes when it’s a genuine yes.
I do my best not to fall for the old routine of living according to others’ expectations or desires.
My preferences matter most. That’s a rebellious act of self-love for this former people-pleaser!
The other day I found myself strongly drawn to a piece of art that seemed a little expensive. Okay, a lot expensive (for me).
But were this my girlfriend, who I knew could easily afford it, if I saw her drooling over it yet refraining from purchase because it seemed extravagant, I would have encouraged her to let herself have what she wants.
And so I did.
For others, self love might be the opposite – saying no to an expenditure in order to secure finances.
It’s potentially different for us all, and only you know what your version of love looks like.
Just say yes to what you want, as best you can.
(And if you read this and immediately started thinking why you can’t say yes to what you want, please rethink that. No matter our circumstances, there is a way based on the options we are allowing ourselves that we can choose what we prefer, even if we’re working with less than our ultimate ideal options.)
3. Write a worthiness reminder.
I don’t do this daily, but every once in a while I pull out a piece of paper and do a page of “I am worthy” affirmations.
That’s where you write “I am worthy” on each line of the page until it’s full. The way I do it is to finish each line with something desirable, like “I am worthy of good friends. I am worthy of ideal health. I am worthy of helpful support.” etc.
The first time I did it (which I did without expectation – just so I could tell my clients I’d done it myself), my life exploded with good news within 24 hours. There was unexpected money in my mailbox, big thanks in my inbox, good news on my voice mail – the blessings were everywhere I turned.
It made me an immediate fan of the practice, to say the least.
Part of a powerful self-love practice is reminding ourselves of our inherent divinity and perfection. While there are lots of ways to do that, writing it down really works for me.
4. Upgrade self-talk.
This is related to the nice words at night practice, but expanded by consciously paying attention to how I’m speaking to myself (and about myself) during waking hours.
If it’s not something I would say to a loved one, then I don’t deserve it either. I try to give myself the benefit of the doubt, be generous in my self-evaluations, and encouraging with inner dialogue.
Gremlins will give you lots of chances to practice this should you choose to engage this particular radical act of self-love. But it’s really good for your overall vibe to master this.
5. Handle with care.
My final favorite self-love practice is how I handle myself …
I mean literally handle.
When I brush my hair or get dressed or soap up in the shower or put on the lotion – all these are opportunities to touch myself the way someone who loved and appreciated and adored themselves fully would.
Not with irritation, judgment, or distraction – but with mindful, conscious love.
You know how to do that, too … there’s surely someone (or maybe something) in your life that you handle with respect and love.
It might be the way you scratch your dog’s head, or how you wash your baby’s hair, or the way you share a delicious bite of dessert with your sweetie – we know what it’s like to handle someone with love.
When you start handling yourself that way, well, trust me, you’re going to realize how nice it is.
What’s your favorite way to practice self-love?
(Listen on the podcast if you prefer.)