July 26, 2011

Choosing to Thrive: Lessons from Jaycee Dugard

I requested this guest post from Law of Attraction Coach Flavia Daay after I heard Flavia talk about the Jaycee Dugard story in a very positive light.  Flavia’s post makes it clear she was simply following Jaycee’s lead in finding the best from a high-contrast experience:
Jaycee Dugard through the eyes of Flavia DaayMost stories of survival are stories in which the person can’t help but feel victimized, stories of being so overwhelmed by it all that they seems stuck in the past and unable to embrace their new freedoms.
Not so with Jaycee Lee Dugard! In an interview she gave to ABC’s news anchor Diane Sawyer, we saw a serene, poised woman, a genuine example of the power of forgiveness. Hers is a triumphant story of letting go of the past and moving forward in a state of gratitude, a story many can draw strength from.
When asked about feelings of anger or bitterness she replied by saying she refuses to let him have anymore of her. Even after 18 years of being kidnapped and giving birth to her captor’s children, this girl had the wisdom to realize that however she feels right now is not going to change what happened. When asked if there’s anything she’d like to say to Philip Garrido, she replied that he couldn’t steal anything else from her, that he can’t steal her and her mother’s love for each other and in fact never could.
After seeing the interview one person commented, “the next time someone tells me they can’t, I will say three words, ‘Jaycee Lee Dugard.'”
In my opinion, one of the reasons she was able to tap into her strength and do what she had to do to survive was having her children. Even though she first gave birth at the age of 14, this was a chance for her to connect outside of him – a real blessing. She promised herself she wouldn’t let anything happen to them. And she kept it. Her two girls were never outwardly harmed.
Even more amazing is that she home schooled the girls, even though all she had was a 5th grade education.
During her years in captivity, she secretly wrote a few dreams she had for the future which included seeing her mom and even riding in a hot air balloon. And see her mom she did! The night they were reunited she even woke up her daughters telling them “I’m so happy! I’m so happy!” Jaycee shared that she doesn’t see their father in the children but had concerns that her mother would be uncomfortable. Luckily those concerns were quickly put to rest as her mother feels the same way and declares that she loves them with all her heart.
Her therapist taught her that a way of vanquishing the past is through gratitude for the present moment. Among the things Jaycee feels grateful for is dinners with her family, having real food everyday, nature and horses.
She revealed employing humor as a way of coping. Jaycee explains that her young, smooth skin is due to her being locked up and not seeing the sun for years. That is truly impressive!
This beautiful, insightful young woman even created a foundation to help all members of the families that have gone through a trauma, emphasizing that it’s not just the victim who needs help in recovering.
She wrote her story in a book as a way of looking at what happened “until it doesn’t scare you anymore.”
Dianne Sawyer was very surprised to learn that Jaycee doesn’t think love is impossible. For her it’s not out of the question, she is open to finding love, the kind she reads about, she adds, but she’s quick to say “If it happens, it happens, if not, I’ll be happy anyway.” What a powerful lesson!
And she fulfilled her second wish on camera, that of riding in a hot air balloon while commenting on how peaceful it was.
Her final words to us viewers were “Live each day to the fullest whatever life brings you.”   What about you? What inspires you to forgive or live life fully even though you may have experienced some exaggerated contrast?
Flavia Daay, Law of Attraction CoachFlavia Daay is a Law of Attraction Life Coach, founder of Yes Yes Yes Coaching, and faculty member at Good Vibe University who helps people find vibrational bridges from where they are to where they want to be.
Her joy is helping you remember the perfection of who you really are, to give you back to yourself. Find Flavia online at Yes Yes Yes Coaching.
  • Cyndi says:

    I think what resonated the most with me after watching the Diane Sawyer piece was when asked how she stayed sane, Jaycee said, “I was still alive. There was still hope.” Reminds me of something Viktor Frankl would say.

  • Flavia says:

    @J Thank you for the work you do! I’m so happy that Jaycee’s example gives you a better feeling perspective on the matter because you’re going to take that strength and pay it forward. You know this is possible for them more stronger than ever.
    @Alex Mitus indeed there is no growth when we dwell on sorrow. Thanks for posting!
    @Dana Thanks Dana! I’m in awe of her too and grateful that she chose to share her journey with us.
    @Ann her spirit does shine through, doesn’t it? There were lots more examples she gave in the interview, these were really only the highlights so to speak.

  • Ann says:

    What an incredible spirit in Jaycee! So much to take from her story. A confirming, uplifting reminder of the power of faith! Beautifully written, Flavia, as only you know how to perceive things! Thank you for your insights and to Jeannette for posting your words!

  • Dana - Your Inspired Coach says:

    Jaycee is an amazing example of how if we believe we are not what happens to us and we focus on what we want rather than on what is currently happening, life does become what we want it to become and it does get better.
    I was in awe of her. I’m glad you wrote a beautiful and inspiring post about her example, Flavia.

  • Alex Mitus says:

    Loved the story, the lesson is even better. Heard about different cases of child and women abuse, participated in various campaigns and I fully support and hope that many people get aware of these “happenings” and do something about it. Flavia is great and chose the perfect example of what most of us should and must do…there is no growing when dwelling in sorrow.

  • J says:

    Thank you Flavia for writing this article and thank you Jeannette for posting this. Many years ago I used to work with a non-profit organization that did work around child sexual abuse. While I knew the work I was doing benefited the kids who were affected, it was heartbreaking at the same time. Now that I work in healthcare I’ve also seen some horrific cases along this same vein. I’ve always has a difficult time reconciling these situations with LOA. I could never wrap my head around a child attracting this kind of situation. This article really helps bring me some peace around this and hope that if someone does experience this, or any other kind of extreme contrast, s/he can let it go and move on to the wonderful aspects of life as well. Thank you for giving me perspective on a something I’ve struggled to understand.

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