Q&A: Didn't Get What I Wanted

didn't get what I wantedAs some creators take stock this year end they realize their 2013 goals remain unfulfilled.
That can make even a savvy creator question their manifesting skills and wonder what to do for their 2014 intentions.
What do you do when you didn’t get what you wanted? Drop the desire altogether? Or is persistence the key?
Perhaps you have some insight on this reader’s timely question about how to handle the disappointment of missed targets:

I’ve known about the law of attraction for several years and have had good luck manifesting certain things. (Including a new Camry and a wonderful rescued Samoyed puppy.)
But I’m not sure how to keep from being discouraged that my new year’s goals are the same ones I had for 2013.
I don’t seem to have made any progress on the things I really wanted this year (get my own place, advancement in career, start a family). I wondered if this happens to other manifesters, too.
How do they handle it when they didn’t get what they wanted? And if they haven’t experienced that, could they please share their secret??

Let’s hear from you guys … do you ever notice unfulfilled intentions being repeated when the new year starts? If so, how do you handle that? (Do you let the old dreams go or do you put them on the new list again?)
And if you haven’t dealt with this, our reader wants to know what you’re doing that she’s not!
Thanks in advance for sharing. Β πŸ™‚

  • December 27, 2013
  • Julie B says:

    Good stuff here! And as coincidence would have it, I just read this maybe 20 minutes before I read this blog (dont you just love that?!). Hope this resonates:
    Offer No Resistance to What you Do Not want
    The secret of those who are able to keep persisting at what they want is their lack of resistance towards what they don’t want. They are able to face a NO time after time until they get a YES. That is because they do not resist the NOs and are able to allow themselves to get through as many NOs as necessary until meet a YES. Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm. That is how you continue feeding positive energy towards your desire while detaching until it manifests.
    When you are not resisting, you are relaxing. When you resist, you are struggling by worrying and stressing. Relax and allow the stream to take you no matter where it goes. Do not resist when it turns you from the direction you do not wish to go because no matter how it twist and turns, it will eventually bring you to where you desire to end up at. So the less you resist and the more you allow yourself to go with the flow, the freer your journey will be. Be at rest and all your desires will manifest in due time.
    There will always be a variety of things because we all want different things. The more people want something and align with it, the more it will manifest. These things are common, public or standard. When what you want seems to be less commonly manifest or available, that is because there are less people wanting and aligning with it. But that is alright because you can always experience what you want regardless of what the others are doing. All you need is to align with it and it yourself and you will rendezvous with it. You don’t have to make the majority want what you want as well, although you could endeavor to do so if you choose, but it is not absolutely necessary.
    Excepts taken from Article on Mind Reality (Offer No Resistance to What you Do Not want)
    => http://www.mindreality.com/offer-no-resistance-to-what-you-do-not-want
    xxoo all,

  • Good tips, Mrs. C. Thanks for posting!
    D/C Russ, I’d be inclined to start focusing on other things going right, or find other places that are easier to flow appreciation and enjoyment. Just to keep some good alignment flowing.
    I also remind myself that things ebb and flow a bit – it’s natural and not a sign of impending doom. Just means I’m on the ebb side, and coming back into the flow soon.

  • Mrs. C says:

    @D/C Russ You are giving gratitude which is good. Keep doing it and I would suggest being open for the rest of your money to come via other ways. Because this is like asking the universe for money and telling the universe “how” you want it.
    I myself have done this countless times without even knowing. I then change it. i also suggest doing what Nneka is practicing. Detachment, This works like magic. Yeah I know it can feel very hard to do but as long as you are still taking action it is all good. Keeping in mind that sometimes action is not always needed in some situations.
    I also suggest writing out on paper how good it “now” is to have reached your last goal and keep ACTING AS IF. Fake it until you make it! You are so close to gold.
    I hope that helps in some way.

  • D/C Russ says:

    In mid-2013 I created a goal of becoming entirely financially independent by selling inspirational ebooks for Amazon Kindle.
    Each month my royalty check grew by a huge percentage, even during the month that I didn’t publish an additional book. November’s check was over $650! So I decided to set a goal for $1000 in December.
    Turns out, I surpassed that goal…making almost $1200 for the month of December.
    I was SO proud of myself that I decided to challenge myself in January of 2014. So I set a goal of $2200. That plus income from another source would have been enough for me to move into a nice, quiet cottage near Mt. Shasta.
    I started getting really excited! And, of course, I felt extremely grateful for December’s victory.
    But then January kicked in and my sales inexplicably tanked. Every day so far, my sales have been absolutely pitiful. If I were to extrapolate, I will be lucky to get $500 this month.
    This is a huge crushing blow to every dimension of my being. It’s by far the most pain I’ve experienced in quite a long time.
    I’m doing my best to keep in mind that anything can happen in a very short amount of time. I’m recalling advice that says sometimes you’re closest to victory when it seems like defeat is imminent.
    Every day I remind myself to persist and be patient. I’m remembering that beautiful flowers can bloom from the buds of perceived failure.
    So I keep writing. And in my next book I will be sharing this testimony.
    It’s a really difficult thing to go through. I feel like God has abandoned me and Satan is laughing his ass off. I feel inadequate and disgusted at myself…I’ve never been so close to giving up on my dreams.
    But I just know, that somehow/someway, I will reach my goal of financial freedom through Kindle royalties. I keep reminding myself to remain faithful, to stay focused, and to keep persisting.
    I read all of your comments and I can honestly say that I was touched. I suddenly felt the urge to be vulnerable and to express my difficulty to the members of this forum.
    If you have any words of encouragement and inspiration, I would love to hear them. I’m very grateful for all the help I’ve received in my journey so far. Thank you all very much.

  • For years I had a goal to lose weight on my list. It eluded me soundly for over a decade. It was one of those things that I was holding onto really tight. I just HAD to have it.
    It was only when I let go of the goal and focused on other things that it started to come into alignment.
    I also had tons of resistance around it.
    I find that the more I want something with that, I must, must, must have this feeling, or some “determination”, or grabbing; the less likely it is to manifest.
    I can always tell these goals by the amount and quality of efforting that I’m doing.

  • Cat says:

    I recommend Greg Kuhn’s “How Quantum Physicists Build New Beliefs” for an easy, systematic way of shifting old beliefs and vibratory patterns that keep us stuck in one place, not getting all those “big things” that we just can’t seem to defuse the charge on. For all those who think charge might be an issue. Really works. Or it could just be that the perfect moment hasn’t arrived yet… πŸ™‚

  • Pam says:

    Eve that is brilliant!

  • Eve says:

    “I don’t seem to have made any progress on the things I really wanted this year (get my own place, advancement in career, start a family). I wondered if this happens to other manifesters, too.”
    Hi- The first thing that came to mind as I read your post was that you stated (as a fact) “that you haven’t made any progress…”
    So the universe says, “Okay, it is a fact that you haven’t made any progress!” The universe delivers exactly what we are thinking and feeling. Your thoughts and words are telling the universe what to give you (or not.)
    Try changing your comments (and thoughts) and put it out to the universe that “you DID make progress”. Remember, your thoughts and words are giving directions to the universe as though everything you say is what you truly want.
    So tell the universe the way you want it to be, and it will be! It is law!
    Good luck,

  • Savannah says:

    I was way off target in 2013. But I had forgotten that I was allowed to dream big, so everything that I wanted had a side order of “but that’ll probably never happen, that’s so outlandish”. 2014: Dream Big.

  • Pam says:

    This year has been pretty eventful for my family and I.
    I still get blown away thinking about it. My greatest wish was to move back home. We were living 3,000 miles away from home. It took 4years in the making. It’s not that easy and extremely costly especially when your hubby is unemployed. String of events happened one by one for us to move home. Unexpected money to pay for air travel, moving truck etc. A cousin opening her home up to us till we found a place we when we arrived home. And then the most perfect cottage (decorated to my exact taste of Shabby Chic) that allowed pets came to us. I tell you it was unbelievable. I still wake up every morning and give thanks for this gift.

  • Mrs. C says:

    I woke up this morning feeling very happy and in my vortex. Then I saw this Blog thread with picture of this missed dart shots. I thought I’m not gonna read this now but I did. And how glad I was too because only 1 thing from my list came true which was an iphone 5.
    However all the other things on my list never happened why? Because I as waiting and waiting and waiting. Yes I did take action and on the weight loss thing and done a lot of hard work which was self sabotaged after a few days. It didn’t matter how many N. Goddard, Flo and Catherine audios I listened too because I was out of my vortex and didn’t assume it is a fact, right here and right now. Jeeze I could of been waiting until next Christmas LOL
    I just had to keep getting back into the groove and keep asking myself everyday, several times I am I in or it not? If I am in I have no need to ask.
    A little voice in Mrs. C’s head just said “Don’t you know? This is how we roll”
    So I said yeah, yeah, yeah LOL I have no more excuses.
    So I can really relate to Anonymous as well as everyones view points. Thanks you very much.
    The main thing for me is to have fun with it. I also think it’s a very good idea to do the gratitude list as mentioned. Until then I will fake it until I make it. You have to be in it to win it.

  • Amanda says:

    I’m hangin’ with Anonymous. When I pause to see if I’m being the one who has accomplished all I desire, I can quickly notice the areas in which I’m living as the one who believes her desires are still far away…..a vibe which is so different than the accomplishment. Then it can be quite fun to imagine myself as having the desires be done already:-) Plus, I love the term, “fait a compli”

  • Chantelle says:

    One thing i know about the Universe is that it ALWAYS delivers. No matter what. If your desire is that powerful, nothing stands in your way. I was in the exact same situation (wanting my own place and a more committed relationship with my sweetheart). It was on my 2013 list. After focusing on it all year with nothing happening, eventually 2 months ago i threw my hands up and said f*.ck it! I started practising some serious self love (with the help of Jeanettes self love book) and just daydreamed about what i wanted (for no purpose other than to just feel oh so good). I forgot about everyone and everything. Two weeks later, i got an email about a new development and it sounded like exactly what i was looking for. I went to go check it out, signed an OTP and one week later – they called to tell me my bond app was 100% approved! All this felt like no effort. Another shocked, my sweetheart sat me down for the first time EVER and told me how special i am to him. I waited almost 2yrs to hear that and it came in 2 weeks of me loving myself unconditionally . So don’t ever give up on your desires, they’re already there. You just need to get into vibrational alignment with receiving them and they’ll appear just like that. I am in such awe of the Universe and this amazing power that we all have. Keep pushing, it’s just aroundthe corner. And always focus on how delicious it is to have what you want -just to feel good πŸ™‚

  • Christine says:

    Great question…A couple of things come to mind. As I understand, our job as creators is to experience the contrast which causes the creation of a desire. Our job does not include orchestrating the how and the when. The Universe is lining up the components of our desires to unfold in an even better way than we can imagine. The step 3 of this process is to “let go” of the wish and align with self. Or get happy. Step 3 doesn’t include setting timelines or goals for how things should unfold… For example, I’ve been wanting to adopt a little boy to add to my family for years now (I’m a single mom). I KNOW this WILL happen. I KNOW the universe is lining up every factor so just the right little boy comes into my life. I don’t care if this happens in 2014 or 2024…. The 2nd thing that comes to mind is…Isn’t the goal of alignment to just be happy NOW? We don’t align so we can “get” things or check off a list, right?… Checking off a list may be a learned need for achievement or approval. We align simply for alignment’s sake. The 1st manifestation of anything is the emotion; the happiness in KNOWING our wish will eventually be fulfilled… Happy contrasting in 2014!!!

  • Well said, Janette! I know how important it is to shift the focus over to what’s going right – thanks for speaking to that. And I suspect we all know that “sting” of “failure” – very smart to turn that around.

  • Janette says:

    Such a great question – and one I can totally relate to!
    Here’s what I recommend. First of all, practice self-love…. a LOT of self-love. The kind of self-love, forgiveness and radical gentleness you’d flow to a friend who came for consolation, feeling ‘bad’ that she hadn’t fulfilled her goals.
    Keep doing that until the sting eases. And then, reexamine 2013 only from the perspective of asking ‘what went right?’ – what good things happened, what achievements, what ‘lucky breaks’, what fun times, what loving connections? In fact, I have a process where I write down 100 things to appreciate about the year just ending. Yes, it can seem tough to do that but here’s the key – Abraham tells us it’s as easy to manifest a castle as a button; so it seems to me it’s as important to celebrate a button as a castle.
    Because it’s true that your goals are on their way. And love and appreciation are the best ways to get lined up once more with the juice of WHY you have those goals – the feeling behind them.
    Thanks for this question, reader, and thank you Jeannette for sharing it. Reminds me of how to get past this little hiccup for myself!!! πŸ™‚

  • Nice tip, Louise. Thanks for sharing it.
    And Iyabo, I love your invitation to see it differently.
    I knew you all would have very helpful input!! Thanks for delivering yet again.

  • Anonymous says:

    You can not conceive of a desire if it does not already exist for you. Move in the state of the preferred reality and your perceived reality will reshuffle itself, There are no lessons, no true purpose and you do not have to be of service as you are you experiencing yourself, This is all an illusion , everything thing and everyone is an image in your mind. You do not get what you want but who you are being, Be the one who desires have now aligned in your reality.
    Any external manifestation literally exists within you. Your body, your external reality, is all within your consciousness. It is all actually you! You create it all. Reality exists within you.

  • Iyabo Onipede says:

    This is a good one. You did meet your goals whether you realize it or not. You met the underlying vibration. If you wanted to get your own space, for example, look back and see where you had “your own space” in your life over the last year, those precious moments of space and serenity and I bet you had lots of that type of space. So maybe getting more definite about what “my own space” actually means in terms of living alone, your own furniture pieces, etc. You may end up with an absentee room mate or something like that and it is still your own space.
    So do celebrate the ways that your goals were met: open your eyes to those ways and release. Why do you want it so bad? What is going on? What is it really about?
    For instance if you live at home with your parent and you want your own space for sanity and to get away from your parents, maybe, the real vibe is the desire for a better relationship with your parents and some how staying in that space forces you to deal with the issues with your parents. See? What is the real wanting behind the wanting?
    Hope that helps and big hugs to you. No matter what, you met some of your goals dead on and others in a circuitous way. Be gentle with yourself.

  • Louise says:

    I would say the first thing is to make sure that your requests are in line with your true purpose. Why do you want those things? Can you use them to be of service? If they are still on your list after that, then just remember that the ‘how’ AND the ‘when’ are not up to us. Everyone has free will, and sometimes we, or someone else, muck things up so that they take longer than you had hoped. Part of our job is to release the mechanics of it, and just let it be.

  • You guys are great! Thank you Barbara and Nicole for the words of wisdom!
    And Anonymous, I like that approach where we simply refuse to perceive anything other than success. Takes commitment, but how powerful!

  • Anonymous says:

    I have learned to live through the eyes of my decision, if you are living in your new identity , you will not look for results for you are the results, there is nothing outside you delivering the desires, it is all within you. All creation exists so live your career advancement , it can come into your hologram in the next two minutes, everything is there you are not seeing it because you think it’s not there. The only thing holding you back is your belief that you are not it. Assume it is a fact!

  • Nicole says:

    So just today, I picked up a sheet of paper on my desk that said “this year’s goals”. I was like WHAAAAATT?!!! The goals did not sound like me at all.
    As soon as I realized that somehow, this was actually my **2007** goals sheet that had found its way onto my today-desk, I was able to look at the list in a different way. And wow! I actually DID meet ALL of the goals! In fact, some of them I’d already gone way beyond. Some of them turned out to be goals I thought I needed to achieve in 2007, but then realized that they didn’t actually fit into what I thought I wanted in 2008 and 2009.
    I had been extremely successful in accomplishing the SPIRIT of 100% of my 2007 goals. But I had met them in ways that I could not have predicted (and at times that expanded beyond the arbitrary boundaries of what I was calling “2007” at the time).
    So, you didn’t get what you wanted?
    Make a time capsule out of that list and pull it out in 5 years. Guaranteed it will all make sense then. And if you still want it, KEEP IT ON YOUR LIST for 2014!!! Don’t lose faith just because we’re collectively stepping over another arbitrary threshold.

  • BarbaraM says:

    Oh I know this one πŸ™‚ One thing was on my list for yearssssssssssss…. I needed it! I wanted it! In order to be good, to be worthy, to be whole and some of that s**t… Last year I was busy with other things -aka building my own business and I completely forgot on that thing which was on the list for years. I had too much work with handling my vibration at “happy no matter what”. And things started to turn around also regarding this ancient thingy πŸ˜€ So my suggestion would be – check why do you want this things in the first place. Is this truly your desire or do you want to fit in a “mould”?
    When you will get clear, why do you want this things… find the way to feel this way now!!! When we feel now as we would like to feel “then”, we are not attached to outcome or results. And then the magic happens….

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