Disappearing the Party Pooper Thoughts
Last post we explored the subconscious “problems” we believe in that keep us from getting what we want.
As in, believing that becoming wealthy is an issue because of the extra taxes incurred. Or that losing weight is a problem because of the uncomfortable attention garnered from the opposite sex. (Read the post again if this phenomenon doesn’t sound familiar.)
Now that we have brought those potential party poopers to light, what’s next?
Just bringing those contrary thoughts to the light of day can be enough to disappear them. (Yes, you can “disappear them.” They’ll evaporate in the light when you usher them out of the dark corners of your mind.)
But, some of the more stubborn stinkers may call for intervention.
If you’ve got a stubborn thought at cross-purposes of your dreams and desires, never fear. You’re still in charge. Here’s what to do:
1. Relax. This isn’t a big deal or a big mystery. Don’t let anxiety about a contrary thought add to negative energy. It’s not a big deal, especially when you’re observing it in action! You are SO in the power seat once you’re seeing clearly what’s happening, so it’s a great time to relax.
2. Get curious. We know what we resist persists, so we don’t want to engage a “war” against the thoughts that aren’t serving us. Observe them from a friendly, curious place. Just noticing what’s up, maybe even being entertained by it.
3. Check references. You know how before you hire a stranger off the street or accept a new tenant into your house you make a phone call or two to check them out? You can do the same thing with these limiting thoughts – inquire; question; test them out. Byron Katie’s work is a powerful process for this step.
4. Rethink it. Once you’ve poked and prodded and looked under the hood of the old contrary thought, it’s easier to find a new, more aligned, perspective. After you’ve tried on a few alternative thoughts, you’re bound to find one you like better. Entertaining that thought is going to serve you really well.
That’s how simple it is. Let’s look at an example:
My realization that somewhere deep down I believe once I’m loaded my sweetie will relate to me differently, as in a huge (read: threatening) shift of power in the relationship is actually kind of interesting. (That’s me getting curious, rather than judging myself for it or defending the truth of it. I’m just curious about it.)
How funny that I would think that! I wonder where that came from – in fact, maybe it’s time to check references. Is it true that my beau will be threatened when I’m the primary income earner; when his income is a pittance compared to mine? (That’s me putting the Work to work.)
You know, now that I think about it, I have to admit, he might be delighted with that situation. I can imagine he may very well have it in him to be a kept man. Now that thought I’m having some fun with. Is there another one I like better?
Maybe this one: I read recently that women who earn the money tend to think of it as “our” money whereas men not so much. So if that were the case, me making significantly more than my sweetheart might actually be a huge equilator. (I made that word up and I like it.)
That’s nice, but I like that other thought better – the one where Russ is excited to have a girlfriend whose income dwarfs his. Why not, huh?!
Just like that, I’ve begun to resolve my subconscious “problem” in being rich.
And, this isn’t the only way. Let’s hear from those of you who have alternative practices for unloading those thoughts that are preventing your total alignment to what you want.
Who will share?
PS – be sure to read comments for Kim’s excellent addition as step #5!