Don't Wait For It
The other day one of my feral cats decided to go on walkabout.
That is not an approved activity.
I don’t know how she managed to get out, since this place is exceptionally secure with two foster cats who aren’t allowed to even think about going out.
But she was definitely not on the premises.
I fretted and feared and worried – and looked everywhere. Multiple times over many hours spanning a couple days.
This cat was officially awol.
My vibration was not in good territory.
I really wanted her to come back so I could feel better. I wanted to relax; to feel the relief of knowing she’s just fine. I wanted life to go back to normal.
But as a conscious creator, I know that’s not how it works.
I have to feel what I want before it’s happened. That’s when I’m a match for the experience I prefer.
So I tried to feel better. I tried to relax. I tried to trust that she was just fine.
But I sucked at it.
I was really worried about this girl. Couldn’t sleep, so I spent most of the night looking through neighbors’ yards with a flashlight.
Still no sign. Called a friend the next morning to help search. (Still trying to “action” my way into what I wanted, but hoping he had a better vibe for success than I did.)
How could he, though, when I’m right there broadcasting “My cat is gone!” so loud and clear? We’re not a match to what we want when vibing the exact opposite.
(Case in point: this cutie patootie who thinks he doesn’t have a fork.)
It’s right there, but you’ll never see it as long as you think it’s not.
So after my friend left, I tried again to feel that all was well. Like my cat was home sweet home.
Still sucking at it.
I was in serious knots of anxiety.
Blaming myself for not keeping better track of my cats. What kind of cat mom am I?? Maybe she’s mad about the fosters. Maybe she’s had enough of this gig.
I knew that’s not a routine that would remedy things.
So I tried softer thoughts …
- Like maybe that she’s enjoying herself enormously.
- Maybe she’s tired of being a house cat and wanted to experience life’s adventure.
- Maybe she’s eating the neighbor cat’s food, and maybe this isn’t so bad after all.
- Maybe the best way for her to be happy and healthy is not under my roof.
Could I release attachment to this outcome? I know how magic it is when I can.
After another attempt at feeling better before there was any reason to, I finally got a whiff of it. Felt around there for a bit before I finally felt the true relief and rightness and calm contentment that comes from knowing all is as it should be.
Then I stopped thinking about it, because I didn’t trust myself to be able to hold that vibe for long.
(Knowing if I could at least stop worrying, I’d be a better match for good news.)
Then I invited higher powers to help – specifically the OutSourcerers at GVU (who have a great track record!), my other cats to tell her to come home, and fairies and angels to watch over her and keep her safe and happy.
That night as I was feeding everyone else, I thought, “I wouldn’t be surprised if I look right over there where she always is and see her standing there as usual. Like she’s been there the whole time.”
I looked over and she wasn’t there.
But I took it as a good sign of my aligned vibe that my heart didn’t sink when I didn’t see her. Making progress.
Finished the feeding and cleaning routine for the night and headed to bed.
But on the way I got a nudge to look outside.
So even though I’d combed through every nook and cranny for two days and the night before, I grabbed the flashlight and did a quick sweep of the yard. Not really expecting to see her; just honoring the impulse.
Yep, still not here. And there’s me, still not sweating it.
Yay for keeping the good vibes steady, though. I know that’s a game-changer.
As I turn to head back inside, I see something move from the corner of my eye. Didn’t want to startle her in case it was her, so I slowly turned and shined enough light to see that indeed, my sweet feral kitty was standing behind the dense basil and cat mint plants.
She’s a true feral, so there was little I could do other than softly talk to her and optimistically remove a window well to give her a way back in. Left the back door open for good measure (after securing everyone who needed securing) and went to bed knowing I’d very likely see her right back in her favorite bed in the basement in the morning.
Which is exactly where she was this morning.
I share this story for three reasons:
1. If you’re waiting on anything to make you feel better (money, clients, a lover, body changes, new house, etc.) this is your reminder to replace that routine with one where you feel it first to make it reality.
2. We don’t always nail that success vibe on the first try, so don’t give up if you don’t get it right the first time. Practice makes perfect. You’ll get it!
3. Do your best to stay out of discouragement when you’re not seeing immediate results. They’re coming. Hold the faith and keep your vibe in place as best you can.
That’s how we let Universe deliver on our desires. Don’t wait on them before you find a way to feel what you want.
Here’s to happy endings – and also not needing them in order to feel better first.