Don’t Worry; Relief Is Coming

Relief is coming for deliberate creatorsInteresting messages in my inbox lately:

One reader writes in that she’s been working on changing limiting beliefs for years and has made absolutely no headway.  In fact, quite the opposite – things are worse than they’ve ever been.  What to do?

Another wants to know how to use law of attraction to secure food and shelter for herself and her young children.  (She’s homeless, unemployed and scared.)

I don’t know if it’s 2012 energy that’s amping up the contrast for some or what’s going on here, but I do know it’s no fun to feel like all is lost with no idea how to change it.

Those thoughts along the lines of “all is lost” or “it’s never been worse” or “nothing is working” don’t leave much room for something good to happen …

and I’ve noticed it doesn’t matter whether we learn to manage those thoughts or not, because things are going to get better one way or another.

Here’s the way some folks experience that:

Things get so bad they finally give up trying to change it.  In that surrender is relief, and that’s when solutions can appear.

Deliberate creators know they don’t have to let things get that bad in order to experience relief; but sometimes that’s how it goes. So what?  We get to do this however we want.

In fact, I’ve had several people tell me that’s the ONLY time they ever get what they want – after they give up from exhaustion.

Some people use high contrast as part of their creation process, which is perfectly fine as long as we realize that it’s optional. We don’t have to have that much resistance in play in order to manifest what we want; that’s just one way to do it.

Abraham regularly reminds us that even what many of us consider the “worst case scenario” (i.e. death) offers tremendous relief.

So one way or another, things can’t help but get better when we’re feeling tremendously out of sorts.

But there is one thing I want everyone to hear when turning to law of attraction in their deepest time of need:

* * This is no time to blame yourself for creating your current circumstances. * *

This is not the time to berate yourself for not being able to think a positive thought.  This is not the time to compare yourself to others who seem to be succeeding so effortlessly.  Nor is this likely the best time to nail down your limiting beliefs.

This is the time to be easy on yourself. To show yourself some compassion and remember that you’re doing the best you can and that you’re doing better than you’ve given credit for.

Too many creators use their knowledge of law of attraction to make themselves wrong for what they’re manifesting.  And in my experience, that thought doesn’t help a whole helluva lot.

If you find it empowering to realize you are in charge of everything that unfolds in your life, go for it.  Have fun with that thought!

But if you’re in deep struggle with life, please stop beating yourself up by thinking it’s your fault for creating this.  The last thing you need right now is another heavy thought.

This is the time for relaxing, for surrendering, for trusting, and for being easier on yourself.

And if you can’t do that, don’t worry.  Relief is coming, one way or another.

(And no, I don’t mean you’re going to die if you don’t turn this ship around!)

I mean relief isn’t as far away as you think, it isn’t as hard as you think, and it’s coming for you even if you aren’t consciously seeking it.

The system is set up for our success – it’s fail proof and fool proof.  As one of my favorite pins reminds me:
everything is going to be okay

(“Not to spoil the ending for you, but … everything’s going to be okay.”)

In the meantime, if you can just give up the fight for a while to pet a dog, or take a nap, or find something to laugh about, that’ll help your good news arrive sooner than later.

I am rooting for you, even though you don’t need it because your happy ending is guaranteed.  🙂

  • April 15, 2012
  • Chuck says:

    Thanks everyone for the posts. Its great to hear specific ways things are working for some and we all learn. Sometimes we learn what not to do too.
    Yes even i have been in the woods, and sometimes letting go is not easy at all. But i really keep finding sooo much relief just telling myself this is NOt the time to fix anything, but to trust the process and just watch a movie, chill out. Do other things. I have been learning dancing and thats been fun. Etc.
    Although i am still not out of it, but strangely enough i know intuitively this is the right thing as it gives that sense of calm and peace at times. and you know that following the letting go is the right thing to do as it feels really true.

  • Leigha says:

    So…something that I’ve been noticing even more is that when things are going really well I start worrying that they won’t stay that way. Hmmm….but then they ALWAYS work out. So then I’ll say to myself …is it really necessary to worry?? Um …nooo. Like if I think someone is mad at me (not sure why I always think someone is mad at me) almost 100% of the time it was all in my head. I take this as a sign to love myself even more 🙂 Something else that really helps me is to know that I don’t need to DO anything or MAKE anything happen…I LOVE this!! 🙂 Thanks Jeannette 🙂

  • Stacey says:

    Such an encouraging post! Thank you Jeannette, for your ability share such powerful insight in such a concise and actionable way.

  • Ben says:

    It’s funny you should write this, because i’ve noticed that several times from doing alot of internal work (in my case Emotional Freedom Technique) that it does bring up stuff like this, which is just deeper stuff to heal.
    And i’ve also noticed that the times of greatest resistance, when I just want to give up, things seem really bad, when I keep going and get past that, there is usually a breakthrough.
    I’ve had a few of these recently, a few months ago I got pretty sick and had a cough for over a month, and I know it is related to my healing because that cough come back last week when tapping on similar stuff, but this time is was much weaker and cleared quickly.
    It’s funny yesterday I looked at something I wrote where I was stuck at a certain weight for a while (which is what i’m working on) and now I have got past that and feel the same again but at a lower weight. I forgot about it, and after a while I may look back and think “oh I got through that again”.

  • haitianphoenix says:

    This came right on time, as I’m dealing with a stressful work situation, where I’m looking to leave. And while the search is fun on it’s own, I’ve been thinking how did I miss the clues that landed me here, did I subconsciously ask for this? “This is no time to blame yourself for creating your current circumstances.” (love this)
    I do believe in LOA and thinking positively but working for ungrateful, hurtful, unappreciative employers, can be difficult especially when you’re there for 8 hours a day. I do have moments when I let go, but I want to move on from this place, it just feels like it’s sucking the life right out of me.

  • Kind words, Anna – thank you.
    PS – experience has shown me I lose myself in that environment! Much better off here at GVB where I don’t have a producer pacing me through a script that I’m in big trouble if I deviate from. lol

  • Anna says:

    You continue to blow me away with your extraordinary instinct for speaking to an aspect of thought/belief that so many struggle to simply express.
    The fact that you continually do it with such apparent ease and savoir faire leads me to wonder why you’re not on OWN. (or would it be, JMN?)

  • Tammy, speaking of hitting the nail on the head – I find that is one of the best ways we creators can reconnect with self-love: “Be kind to yourself, as you would your children.” That usually slingshots a parent right into realizing how much room for improvement they have on being good to themselves.
    Thanks for reading, and especially for posting. Big Love!

  • Glad it hit the spot, Pat. Thanks for posting to say so.
    And Stella, I’m seeing lots of people have fun with the “three new moons” request. Thanks for sharing!! Always a pleasure to hear from you.

  • Tammy says:

    Thank You Jeanette,
    This is, as always, very timely. “But if you’re in deep struggle with life, please stop beating yourself up by thinking it’s your fault for creating this. The last thing you need right now is another heavy thought.”…these words are so kind and loving they make me want to cry. You hit the nail on the head, beating myself up for not overcoming and manifesting better has been me for the last few days. You have reminded me to be kind to myself, as I would my children. Thank you again!

  • Here’s what I do and advise clients to do when they feel they are not making any headway;
    “Ok universe I don’t feel things are going so well. So if you really want me to have/do/be X in a mundane sense, in a way that supports my soul self, I’m giving this three New Moons. If in three full lunar months I don’t have more X coming in or X isn’t working out for me I’m closing this request for good –> Stay calmly observant of what happens.”

  • Pat says:

    thank you Jeaneatte, this post came at the perfect time with the perfect words and reminders. Thanks to everyone else who has posted here as well, your words have been equally uplifting and confirming! So blessed to have such a nice community of people in this!

  • It amazes me, too, Berta. Thank you for sharing Christy’s saboteur technique! That’s a sure fire way to release resistance to them – to play with them!
    Kudos to you for getting better at being good to yourself. I think that’s a journey we would all benefit from taking.

  • Janette says:

    Thank you for the reminder not to beat yourself up for whatever we’ve created – that’s SUCH an easy road to take especially when we first learn about the Law of Attraction.
    “Oh no! What have I done? It’s all my fault!” becomes just another stick we use on our own backs. And that isn’t going to serve us no way no how.
    I like to think that “Old Me” (before I’d heard of LOA) had a key hand in creating the higgledy-piggledy chaos of my life. And “New Me” is creating the new, closer match to what I desire.
    When I catch some Old Me stuff still flowing in my reality, I know to feel compassion for it because Old Me didn’t know any better. And even *I* can’t expect me to make all the changes I want to make in an instant. I’m not saying NOBODY can do it – just letting myself off the hook from any pressure to do the instant change thing.
    Which feels like relief.
    Which – in my world – is the name of the game!
    Ahhhh….. 🙂

  • Berta says:

    It amazes me how many people, myself included, benefited from hearing your words, “But if you’re in deep struggle with life, please stop beating yourself up by thinking it’s your fault for creating this. . . . This is the time for relaxing, for surrendering, for trusting, and for being easier on yourself.”
    I listened to Christy Marie Sheldon’s Love or Above CD’s recently, and she said that when her saboteur is present, she at times amps them up. She figures they are there to teach her something so instead of resisting them, she lets them have their say and then chooses her life’s journey. As Abraham tell us, what we resist persists.
    I was an expert at beating myself up. Now, I’m better at recognizing when I begin to get down on myself, and consequently I can turn it around sooner. A few day ago I used CMS’s amping up my saboteur’s voice and it helped me let go-to say screw it. I asked myself, “What is the worst thing that will happen if . . .” and I discovered exactly what you concluded, Jeannette. I’d be all right. And that has given me great relief.

  • Isn’t it amazing, Janette, how quickly we abandon self-love when we bump into something like that?
    But you would of course know, as the Sweet Relief Queen, that self-love/compassion and relief go hand in hand.
    Thanks for posting, Coach! 🙂

  • Oooh, Ashley, I’ve got a course coming up for exactly that situation. (Letting in the money effortlessly so we don’t fall for the trap of thinking we have to actually earn it.)
    But it sounds like you already found your way back to good, and we know what happens when we’re flowing THAT high quality vibe, no matter how we got there. WOO HOO!!

  • Ashley says:

    As always Jeannette, you have beautiful timing. This is the perfect subject for tax day; I did ours today. Glad to have them done but it wasn’t without a bit of anguish. Today has made me see that I need to step it up and attract more business and less time off for riding, lol. I have deliberately attracted a lot of time off to ride, hang out, go to the beach etc. in the last couple of years but more of balance is needed. I’m changing my story again and as of last week set things in motion to start afresh. Stay tuned.
    Thanks for being you and starting Good Vibe.

  • I am also a fan of those “distraction via good TV” methods, Shannon.
    Glad you found your way to relief, and I LOVE the alignment you’re experiencing proven out by hearing of someone else’s ridiculously good fortune. Shows you’re closer to it yourself than you might have thought.
    Here’s to letting in the benefits that follow that high level contrast!

  • Shannon says:

    Nikky – I absolutely second what you wrote. I was going to write the same thing and now I don’t have too! lol
    Jeannette – I don’t know if this is the best blog post yet or if it was just perfectly timed but this one REALLY helped me.
    My “as-is” was getting so tight around my neck that I just gave up this weekend. I was done. I was so mad at myself for creating my as-is environment that I figured it was hopeless. I just kept beating myself up screaming, “I can’t believe I’m doing this to MYSELF!” And I just couldn’t seem to stop.
    I sat in front of my television all weekend watching marathons of Mad Men and Smash. I completely forgot about my as-is. I completely forgot about everything.
    Today, we just had a meeting with a woman who has BOUGHT an island to build a resort and her and her partner are BOTH very, seriously into the Law of Attraction. Never in a million years would I have guessed that these people were “one of us.” It’s amazing that when I let go, the Universe put two brilliant LOA people right in my path – both of whom genuinely want to help me and my businesses grow – by using the laws!
    I’m done beating myself up. Yes, I’ve created my as-is environment, but that was also the culmination of 40 years of NOT understanding the laws. Yes, I’m in a “high contrast” phase, but it CAN be my LAST one. Your post really made me feel better. Thank you so much Jeannette!

  • Indeed it is, Melinda. Thank you!!
    (And thanks to Chip, Amanda, and Nicole for your posts, too.)

  • ChipEFT says:

    Just this week I made a video called Your Emotional Compass. It talks how you can get from any emotional state or situation to a life of fulfillment or joy. Here is the link.
    (I hope posting this is okay.)

  • Melinda in NC says:

    Remember, in God all things are possible. And since we are all divine creatures, created in God’s image, all things are possible for us (I thank Wayne Dyer for reminding me of this concept). All things are possible. Isn’t that just the greatest, most relief-inducing thing you have ever heard?

  • Amanda42 says:

    You are wonderful! This is just what I needed to hear!

  • Nicole says:

    Nadine – when the journaling, the focusing, the meditating on what you want, feels like a struggle – or you feel an overwhelming sense of “screw it” then do just that! I think sometimes as deliberate creators we focus so much on the tools to getting towards relief, that we forget to just stop and enjoy where we are right now.
    You said “I’m certainly not giving up.” Rather, I think you should! And that means taking a complete break from the thoughts about your relationship, or whatever upstream thoughts are feeling bad. Definitely play games, or go to movies, or just wallow in bed and eat ice cream. We need those times of downtime, we need those moments where we completely surrend to the possibility that we have no control over where our lives are at, so let’s just enjoy this physical experience.
    A piece of advice I learned from Abraham Hicks about relationships – if when you think about a certain person, and you start feeling bad, or you can’t think anything good about them, just stop thinking about them completely. It doesn’t do them a good service to think about them badly, and it certainly doesn’t offer you relief.
    Much love and relief to you my friend!

  • Aw, thanks, Nikky. You’re so sweet!
    Here’s to the relief that genuinely making peace leads us to!
    Thanks for posting, my friend. 🙂

  • nikky says:

    Hi Jeannette,
    I dont even know how to describe it in words how your words make me feel not only in this post but in so many that you have posted in the last few years.
    I feel so much love and appreciation for YOU – in my life. We are not related or even best friends but you have helped me more that I can describe in this post.
    I completely agree with our words. And have been in the same place many times and yes many times just giving up and saying screw it !!…. somehow works. Infact from all the techniques i have used for manifesting what I want what really works is when I have genuinely made peace with what is and felt relief.
    Thank You MS Maw for all your wonderfulness.
    Love ALWAYS
    PS and thank you for rooting for all of us… make me smile and cry at the same time 🙂

  • Nadine, you are SO smart to honor where you’re at with this right now! This is brilliant: “And yet you know what? It’s just one of those days where you can give yourself permission to take a positivity “day off”, because its just not going to happen.”
    I know those days! It’s crucial ingredients for our next big gig (you know, having a Step 1 party, as Abraham might say), so I’ve come to feel a lot less guilty or remedial for having days (or even a week) like that.
    Kudos for giving yourself plenty of room. THAT’S a huge act of self-love and acknowledgement, and THAT vibe IS a powerful one for attracting more love in.
    To answer your question, I don’t think it’s so much a “test” but I DO think it is a REALLY good sign that things are going to get even better than they were before. (Because we know that contrast gives us new & improved desires, and that expansion is something we deliberate creators know how to keep up with. Some people might get stuck in it, but we know too much to do that routine.)
    I completely agree it’s a good step to get okay with feeling however you feel (sad, confused, whatever), and trust then when it’s time for you to do something, it’ll be made clear to you. You’ll feel the urge or the nudge or hear the whisper. In the meantime, feel it out, be gentle with yourself, and if it were me – I’d invite angels to ride this out with me. (It’s always better when they’re there.)
    Sending big love and looking forward to your next update about what fabulous things unfolded from this big piece of ‘crappy’ contrast.

  • Nadine says:

    Hello there! My first time posting on your blog =)
    Oh my gosh, thank you so much Jeannette for this post….
    I feel like I’m in that situation with my “boyfriend” (don’t even know if he’s worth that title right now). Luckily for me however I have been using LOA really consistently. Umm… maybe too much actually, but I’ve been doing so well (focusing) lately that when I write in my Pray Rain journal, or think about him, I actually cry tears of JOY! Which is a relatively new and fascinating phenomenon for me! I know I’m in the right vibration because I just feel myself full of love, and calmness and contentment. Pure joy.
    But things haven’t been great with him lately, and today, lets just say something really traumatic happened where I’m no longer sure about things, or our future, or him, maybe he’s too selfish or immature for me, or maybe I just don’t yet know how to communicate with him in an effective way, how to be assertive in the correct way, it’s never been my strong suit. All day I’ve been so depressed and in a funk, and worse yet, beating myself up about it! Like “cut it out girl, what are you doing? You’ll never attract him treating you better or a better guy if you let things get you down!” And yet you know what? It’s just one of those days where you can give yourself permission to take a positivity “day off”, because its just not going to happen. Writing in the journal, visualising, saying affirmations or whatever, it just is giving me STRONG feelings of “oh screw it, who are you kidding?”
    It’s one of those days where feeling BETTER is simply NOT crying or NOT thinking (as in, time for a funny movie! or get sucked into a videogame, OFFLINE with no distractions). It’s just too much to ask of myself to “get happy” today, and that’s ok. Because what you resist persists, right?
    I’d like to know… even if your manifesting practices haven’t been PERFECT, as in, you focus and get really happy, but the rest of the day you’re still obsessing too much and checking things etc, things that hold the process up, even so, if you’re better than EVER at being happy for long periods of time, and not worrying as much, and then you have a CRAPPY situation escalate out of control like this, I just wonder, IS THIS A TEST? Is it sometimes when the situation seems the MOST dire or hopeless, that something amazing is about to show up or break through, as long as you can find a way to “let go” or relax during this downtime? Am I making any sense?
    I’m certainly not giving up. Far from it. It’s just at this point when you have no CLUE what to do and you feel you need to do SOMETHING, but honestly you can’t right now, you have no CHOICE but to let it go, and maybe that is my lesson right now that I need to learn more than anything? Forget about it and distract and just start being ok with being sad and confused? And start feeling happy and good again as soon as it stops feeling like denial or resistance?

  • I can sure relate to that, LovelyMe. You know my scripting story that got Jeff adopted was actually preceded by a mini-breakdown that put me in bed for four days. A prime case of “giving up.” lol
    And I LOVED this from your comment:
    I truly could not fathom at that point how to get from A to B. I finally decided that I’ll get to B at some point, but for now, I’ll be happy with A.
    Being happy with A isn’t always the easiest, but it’s all you’ve got. It’s your starting point. You really have to learn to let A be enough, and start loving A a little more. Take care of Point A, do little things to make staying at Point A feel sweeter and kinder to you. Tell Point A, “Hey buddy, it’s just you and me right now. If we have to stay here, we might as well get comfy and put some flowers in the room.”
    I wish I knew how to yellow highlight that! It’s delicious – thank you for it, my friend!

  • LovelyMe says:

    I know some coaches/entrepreneurs build their business around the techniques they’ve used in regards to their “really big” manifestation in life; the one that changed everything (I meant to post a topic about it on GVU).
    For me…relief came in the form of giving up. I had finally had it with life, so I threw up my hands and said “It’s all yours, Universe”, and decided to make amends with where I was in life.
    I truly could not fathom at that point how to get from A to B. I finally decided that I’ll get to B at some point, but for now, I’ll be happy with A.
    Being happy with A isn’t always the easiest, but it’s all you’ve got. It’s your starting point. You really have to learn to let A be enough, and start loving A a little more. Take care of Point A, do little things to make staying at Point A feel sweeter and kinder to you. Tell Point A, “Hey buddy, it’s just you and me right now. If we have to stay here, we might as well get comfy and put some flowers in the room.”
    For the person who is homeless…here is what I would tell them:
    Make peace with being homeless. Say to yourself, “I’m homeless, this is hard, and it plain sucks. I accept that this is the situation I’m in.” Then start to think about what options may be available to you…they don’t have to be big. What options are available to you to make your life just a little easier? The emotional stuff is the first step. The not beating yourself up anymore, and the acceptance of where you are, and the belief that somehow, some way that is not up for you to decide how it will come, things are going to get better. After you clear up the emotional stuff and feel some peace from that…your options of actions will reveal themselves to you, because now you can see them. You emotionally blinded yourself from them before.
    And don’t rule out…you CAN just happen to catch a lucky break.
    Anything can happen. Believe in that.

  • So well said, Aasiyah! That detaching, surrendering, letting go, giving up – whatever you want to call it – is very often the key that lets the good stuff swoosh right in.
    Kind of cool how that works, especially when we have skills of detaching and remember to use them!
    Thanks for posting, and fun with your journaling! (woo hoo!)

  • Aasiyah says:

    From what I read here, it’s more like what Dr. Wayne Dyer talks about in his books about manifesting our destiny and fulfilling our wishes. We have to LET GO of the outcome and of the things we desire, DETACH from it, and then, it is when we no longer think about, or try to control the HOW and the WHEN of our desires, that they finally come forth. The reason why things are not happening sooner is because we’re constantly obsessing and wondering how things are going to work out for us and when. But that’s our obstacle…our fears, doubts and constant over obsessing that our minds do – the ego!
    This is something I deal with though so it is one of the harder processes of letting go and detaching from our desires so we can finally get what we want. When people give up, that is when things start working out. Funny how the law of detaching ourselves works with the law of attraction. =) thanks for the awesome article!!
    And I love your book The Magic of Pray Rain Journaling! Been journaling my desires everyday as if it’s already happened and I know that everything has already come true in the spiritual form, ready to take place into the physical form. =)

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