Essential Self vs. Social Self on the Scale
The last two weeks I’ve had so much fun with a new little manifesting routine that it’s ridiculous.
It makes me giggle out loud even thinking about it. But it’s probably a misguided intention, truth be told.
I’ve been putting a spell on my belly. It goes like this:
“You are the flat belly of a 22 year old co-ed who majored in volleyball.” (I’m smiling again just typing it!)
I repeat it three times while rubbing said belly and then finish with three little pats and the words, “You know what to do.”
I told you it was ridiculous!
But it makes me laugh and it makes me trust my belly and I will also say – I am looking better than otherwise expected in these little summer tanks! (Cute little belly, you!)
However, if I’ve learned anything in my ups and downs as a deliberate creator, it’s that we don’t really want to weigh a certain amount or be a certain size or look a certain way.
What we want is to love and feel good about ourselves. That’s what we’re truly seeking when we start a new diet or exercise plan or – ahem – belly spell.
I know that.
And yet when Michele Woodward recently suggested that focusing on weight loss seemed very “social self” it was as if someone rang a big wake up bell inside my head.
In case you’re not familiar with the lingo, “social self” is somewhat of a four letter word in Martha Beck world. Here it is from Martha herself which I lifted from Pam’s excellent post on the topic:
The social self is the part of you that developed in response to pressures from the people around you, including everyone from your family to your first love to the pope. As the most socially dependent of mammals, human babies are born knowing that their very survival depends on the goodwill of the grown-ups around them. Because of this, we’re all literally designed to please others.
For example, many of our smiles are based on social convention. When you smile but don’t mean it, that’s your social self in action. When you say yes but mean no (or vice versa), that’s likely your social self in charge.
You with me so far?
Our essential self, on the other hand, is what Abraham might call our Inner Being. It’s the core of who we really are, and it is sourced from ultimate and pure divine love.
Okay, so that takes me back to Michele and her brilliant observation.
What do you think your essential self (aka Inner Being) thinks you should weigh? Or look like?
I’ve got a funny feeling my belly spell didn’t come from my Essential Self or Inner Being. I think it came from the part of me that wants to look good to others.
After all, what if I didn’t know what “looked good”? What if my social self grew up in a culture where round bellies were exalted? Would I be “spelling it away” then?
I’m pretty sure not.
I mean, think of the social conditioning required to make this seem like a good idea: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neck_ring
So I may very well get the flat belly of a 22 year old co-ed who majored in volleyball, but I will not be a true winner as long as I’m using my manifesting prowess to satisfy my Social Self.
Know what I mean? Michele does.
Before you go, I’d love if you shared your thoughts on the subject!