February 20, 2013

The Ins & Outs of Facebook Marriage

what is a facebook marriage?If you ever wondered what it means to be facebook married, this is your answer.
Although I don’t consider myself the expert on virtual marriages, I’ll share why I said yes to a facebook husband and how it can be a helpful manifesting tool …
What is a facebook marriage?
The unromantic answer is that it’s when you mutually agree to tag someone else as your spouse. Meaning, it’s a marriage on facebook only, not real life.
You can find the definition in Urban Dictionary here.
What does it mean to be facebook married?
Just like with anything, including real life marriages, it means whatever you decide it means.
For me, it’s simply another way to have fun.  Real life marriage turned out to be rather challenging when I said “I do” 20 years ago. Either I’ve gotten better at being a wife, or facebook marriage is sooooo much easier to enjoy! (Smart money’s on the latter.)
Why would anyone want a facebook marriage/spouse?
Depending on who you marry, of course:

  • it can be fun
  • it can liven up a boring timeline
  • it can be good practice (sort of like how people adopt pets before they have babies)
  • it can minimize flirtations from others
  • and for me it took the sting off of a recent breakup.

But for deliberate creators it can do one better: put you in the vibe of being romantically attached.
Sometimes conscious manifesters wear rings to replicate the feeling of being married, or sleep on one side of the bed and clear out half the closet, or stock their sweetie’s favorite snacks in the house.
This is just another creative way to send the signal to Universe that says “I’m taken!”
I’m finding the additional benefits of having a great facebook hubby include receiving sweet notes, getting support in my business, someone to celebrate wins with, and he even sends presents! Plus, it’s just plain fun to talk about my “facebook husband.” To top it off my mom gets a facebook son-in-law. It’s fun for the whole family!
Does it spill into real life?
I’ve never met my facebook husband in real life (which may be the undiscovered secret to a happy marriage), but we do talk on the phone regularly and exchange emails. You get to make your own rules.
How do you get facebook married?
Well, someone’s got to propose, and someone has to say yes. After that, you decide whether you celebrate an engagement with friends or just flip the switch online to say “married.”
Jeff proposed via email after he heard about my real life breakup (I think he was just offering a sweet condolence, but I liked the idea so much I emailed back “YES!” and switched my status before he had a chance to say “j/k.”)
What do you do with/for  your facebook spouse?
Whatever you two like.  🙂
How do you get facebook divorced?
Let’s not spoil a good thing just yet.
(But I will say there were a couple times I asked myself this question during the presidential election.  I couldn’t believe I married someone without inquiring about his political beliefs! Oh, what we do for facebook love.)
What’s the downside?

  • You’ll likely be doing a fair amount of explaining to friends and family who don’t know what facebook marriage is.
  • You might steer away potential love interests who think you’re truly taken.
  • Health insurance companies don’t recognize facebook spouses as qualifying for benefits.  😉

Say again what this has to do with manifesting?
For me, it’s fun, it’s light, it makes me laugh. That’s reason enough.
But it also helps me feel like I have a functional committed relationship on the books. (That’s practice I can use.)
I’m not actually intending to get real life married again, so it’s not like I’m using my fb hubby to activate the “husband” vibration – but it is helping me have a happy experience of “marriage.” Even if it’s a virtual marriage. And that is a good thing in my book.
PS – I like facebook friends just as much as facebook husbands. Friend me up if we’re not already connected.

  • Anonymous says:

    Seth talks about parallel realities in his books- and how we move among our simultaneous selves.Maybe this Full Moon will help us channel help from the angelic realm. You are a great inspiration!!!!

  • Okay, how is this for LOA strange … I just found out Jeff’s RLLF (real life ladyfriend) has almost my same name, we’re the same age (both older than he is), and she works at the same company that I worked at twice. !
    His conclusion/tip: find a facebook wife who’s got the kind of traits you want in a RLLF and then get fb hitched and let Universe do its regular magic. lol

  • JG – thanks for elaborating about how playing/pretending is part of creating. That was eloquent! And spot on!!
    Kim, good question. I’m inclined to go with different BFTs (better feeling thoughts) for now and trust the clutter to sort itself out as you get on with your fabulous life. If there’s something that needs attention, we can always trust it to make itself known!

  • Kim Falconer says:

    Okay, the post activated something . . . a nightmare featuring my ex! So, entertaining thoughts about marriage, even a FB marriage, indeed stirs up the vibe. In my case, it was a huge reminder (in horror technicolor) that there is some ‘charge’ still left (after 30 years).
    hmmmm . . . is that a ‘let sleeping dogs lie’ message or a ‘declutter your stuff message? I’ll have to muse on it.
    PS I love Mexican food 🙂

  • JG. says:

    Melanie and Jeannette´s exchange remind me of the role of play in REAL LIFE. In play we pretend (to be) something we´d like. That way, we pranctice (prank-tice?) and CREATE -at least in our minds- want we would like to be-come.
    In this way I think play is the early model -and one we hopefully all practice- of deliberate creation.

  • Jeff Atherton says:

    Gina, real-life ladyfriends are allowed in the fb marriage deal. Especially if your fb wifey won’t take you out for the mexican dinner she owes you. Then you have no choice but to go find a real-life ladyfriend.

  • I think this is so fun, too. I have a real life hubby, who is fab, so I don’t need a Facebook one, but maybe I could find a way to play with this kind of energy for something I am looking for, like an agent or a publisher for my books. Hmmm, something to lighten it up and make it fun. 🙂

  • Ok, that IS cool, Janette!!! Thanks for that explanation of why this can be so powerful!!
    And Gina, you crack me up: “… because I’m not a fb cheater.” ha ha!

  • Gina says:

    Now I’m obsessively thinking about who would make a good FB husband for me. I am on the market….he needs to be an LOA guy with a good sense of humor and no real-life ladyfriend. Because I’m not a FB cheater.

  • Janette says:

    I love this post!!! Yes Kim, HUGE relief in the shift from murky and difficult, to fun and easy.
    And I love how this is creating completely new neural pathways in your brain, Jeannette!!
    The old neural pathways linked marriage to all kinds of things you didn’t want. These new neural pathways (marriage is fun! husbands are supportive and lovely and completely okay with you being you… etc) – each one of them gets a little stronger and brighter every time you play in this world, or talk about it. And that’s brilliant!
    I’m reminded of the experiment done by a neuroscientist some years ago. Two groups practised piano exercises, two hours a day for five days. One practised on a real piano; the other group only IMAGINED they were practising. At the end of the period, the ones playing physical pianos showed significant change in how much brain ‘real estate’ was taken up by fine motor control of the fingers – in other words, new neural pathways. Which is exactly what you’d expect. And – you guessed it – the ones who only imagined the exercises showed the exact same brain changes.
    You’re growing ‘marriage is fun’ neural pathways in just the same way. How cool is that?!
    I do understand Melanie’s points about authenticity, and for me the key here is that you’re engaging this with completely clear self-awareness. You’re not married to FB hubby as a way to escape a reality you don’t like. You know exactly what you’re doing and why you’re doing it. You’re doing it because it’s fun AND because it’s opening the doors to a whole new way of experiencing marriage.
    And what could be more authentic than the way you’re sharing the fun of your FB marriage, for all to see?
    Of course FB marriage is not for everyone. In fact, this might be a case for a disclaimer – only for use by LOA-savvy creators – but then, perhaps that’s MY limiting belief LOL!

  • It’s so true, Kim! “Husband” used to have a huge (negative) charge for me, and now it’s so light and fun I can hardly believe it’s the same word! lol

  • Kim Falconer says:

    Just reading this post has lifted my vibe around the M word. I can feel the lightness of being there, in a way I never have before. When authentic holds a grudge, a FB marriage feels like sweet relief. (Janette, I am thinking of you here? What are your thoughts?)
    Wow. This is a real vibe shifter! (shifting as we speak) A lovely smile cast on hidden doors . . .
    Thank you.
    Thinking of getting a FB hubby of my own. Would definitely cut down on the flirt innuendo mail/msg/tweets 🙂 I love it!

  • Agreed, Melanie, those are excellent qualities for building a rewarding relationship.
    Gina, I’ll ask him to pop in with his two cents! 🙂

  • Gina says:

    It would be interesting to get FB hubs’ perspective on this FB marriage! What does it do for him? Since he’s obviously smart enough to recognize a FB winner when he sees one.

  • Melanie says:

    I am not an expert in The Law of Attraction but I am an expert in attraction and building good relationships that last. Authenticity and vulnerability are two of the best qualities that any individual has going for them in order to create a great relationship. I always encourage people to stay far away from anything that feels like pretending or a fantasy because people normally do that to avoid what they are really feeling and because they are afraid of intimacy. Although, it looks like they are trying to attract it. I am wanting to learn from you here if I can. I have explored the Law of Attraction for years and at times have been convinced of it and at other times thought that the whole concept was simply silly. Thank you for you thoughts. I will explore more of your blogs to see if I can understand this better.
    thanks, Melanie

  • Thanks for commenting, Melanie. It is fun for me! 🙂
    I wanted to clarify (for other readers) that while it might not have the power to put you in the right vibe to attract a loving partner, it is definitely serving my alignment for love and relationships.
    That’s why it’s so important – when it comes to deliberate creation – that we pay attention to our own inner guidance about what feels better and what doesn’t. What works for one may not work another. If something doesn’t work for you, though, that doesn’t mean it wouldn’t work for someone else.
    I could be reading this wrong, but if your last sentence infers that there’s something wrong with “pretending” (i.e. it repels the love we want) – I just want to be clear that vibration management is all about finding a way to feel now how we would feel then. And many of the ways we accomplish that could be considered “pretending” or faking it or something that is deviating from our present day “truth.”
    In fact, those who are unwilling to deviate from the “truth” of their reality have a harder time creating the energetic alignment that allows what they want. I’ve written about that before:
    and readers have discussed it here:
    If someone considered it inauthentic to wear a wedding ring before they were actually married, or to dress for a job that they didn’t have yet, or to drive through a neighborhood that they didn’t live in yet – then yes, those actions may not serve them as well as they would someone who knew that this is all about finding ways to activate the vibration of what we want.
    We also know that feeling lonely or unwanted can undermine our ability to manifest companionship, so anything that alleviates those contrary feelings serves well.
    PS – I did manifest a “quality date” without meaning to. Which means the evidence is in that facebook marriages don’t necessarily repel romance.

  • Melanie says:

    Hi, I enjoy reading your posts. I love your style and sense of humor. I think that having a facebook husband sounds fun and I think you should enjoy, but it really has no power to put you in the right “vibe” to attract a loving partner or even quality dates. Attracting love is about being open, vulnerable,raw, real, and above all AUTHENTIC!

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