Feeling Better When They Don’t

We’ve all done it – made someone upset by something we said or did.

Or didn’t say or do.

Like when we didn’t say yes to the favor a friend wanted. (“No, I’m not watching your cat who attacks on sight. Get a sitter!”)

Or when we answered our sister truthfully when she asked about her husband’s behavior. (“Really, sis, it didn’t seem like a big deal to me.”)

Or when we refused to go along with the boss’s answer when the client asked for a realistic delivery timeframe.

Yikesy, some people can get mad at us!

But that’s the thing … we didn’t really upset them. They upset themselves and are just blaming it on us.

That’s rather normal, unfortunately.

It’s not accurate. And it’s not helpful.

But it is rather normal.

(I probably did it three times today myself already!)

Conscious creators in their right mind, though, know that we alone are responsible for how we feel.

Even though that can be tricky to practice. (In fact, I consider it a master manifesting skill to not give a rip what others think.)

It’s worth remembering when we’re feeling bad because of how someone else feels about us.

They might think you let them down. Or betrayed them.

They might think you’re a colossal idiot. Or the devil incarnate.

They might think you owe them. And that you’ve ruined their life.

They might accuse you of having no heart and being incapable of feeling love or compassion or empathy.

Here’s the thing …

… that’s okay.

They get to think whatever they think and feel whatever they feel.

That’s for them. Not you.

But if your well-being depends on their favorable opinion, you’ve got a big vibrational handicap in place.

Because it’s virtually impossible to ensure everyone loves you all the time.

(You likely know this if you’ve tried to manage their opinions of you before!)

What’s a conscious creator to do at a time like this?

Let them have it.

I mean – let them have it their way. What they think and feel is not your concern. And it’s not your fault.

It’s not for you to manage.

And it’s really cool if you can learn to not give a rip what they think!

It’s way more important – and powerful – when you focus on how YOU feel.

With that in mind, here’s a little script for feeling better when someone else thinks you’re the reason they feel bad.

Edit and repeat as required to get back to your own feel good when the rest of the world isn’t.

Okay, so he’s/she’s mad at me.

I got that.

And I can be cool with that.

It’s not my fault that he feels what he feels. That’s his business.

We’re all grownups here. He’s in charge of him; I’m in charge of me.

And I know how to be in good charge of myself.

I know how to feel better even when someone else doesn’t.

Even when they think it’s my fault. Even when they paint me as the bad guy.

I know how to let them have that, and still choose something else for myself.

Because I feel good about who I am and how I conduct myself.

I approve of the decisions I’ve made.

(And if I don’t, this is my chance to get better at it.)

I’m just doing the best I can with what I’ve got where I stand right now.

Can’t expect any more than that.

I know better than to try bending over backwards to make someone else happy. That’s a losing proposition. For all of us.

All I can be is me.

If they’re not down with that, they deserve someone else to get tangled up with anyway.

Because I deserve to feel better.

I deserve to know that I’m a good person who is being true to herself as best she can.

And all in all, I’m doing a good freakin’ job of that! Look at me go – not caring what others think! This is pretty cool to free myself of needing others to think well of me!

In fact, if there were awards for this, I’d probably get one!

And isn’t that what matters most? That I be true to myself? I’ve done the other routine long enough to know it doesn’t work.

What does work is for me to tend to my own feelings. And I know how to do that.

I know how to think a thought that feels better. (I’m doing it right now!)

I know how to take the action that feels best. I know how to focus my attention in a way that serves my vibration.

I know that I’m in charge of how I feel. And I know it’s okay to have a bad day now and again – they keep the system running! Bad days are great! They’re a must-have!

But if today isn’t that day for me, I know how to let go and relax. I know how to love myself no matter what.

I know how to feel better right here and now.

There are a lot of great qualities about me that not everyone sees, and that’s fine. I see it, and that’s what counts.

In fact, the better I see those great things about myself, the more I attract others who feel the same. And that’s a cool party!

After all, I’m a pretty amazing person! And anyone who doesn’t get that – they are not for me. Not right now, anyway. If they come to their senses about how fabulous I am, cool. If not, that’s cool, too.

Because I know. And that’s enough. When I love who I am, I don’t need anyone else’s approval. That is freedom!

So here’s to letting them sort it out themselves.

I’m not joining their drama. Because I choose to feel good. I choose to love myself.

I got this.

I choose to enjoy this delightful day in this exceptional life I’ve been given.

And so it is.


  • February 28, 2017
  • 1stClassTam says:

    My mother said I was disrespectful to her when I told her that I wasn’t going to be bullied about going to church. I avoided her calls for a couple of days. Then she said she was sorry I felt this way and when I said that wasn’t an apology, she said she wasn’t going to apologize about talking to me about church. I reminded her that she wasn’t trying to hear my perspective. I reminded her that she hung up the phone on me. She said she didn’t. It’s the same pattern but this was the first time I actually articulated that I was defending myself and setting a standard of how to treat me. I understand that I can control how I feel. The mother/daughter relationship is complicated and she’s always trying to control me, from thousands of miles away.
    I’m going to re-read this blog entry.

  • Karen says:

    I”m getting better at this all the time.

  • Shan says:

    Indeed, yes -‘What other people think of me is none of my business.’However, criticism or negative comments can be a transitory vibe downer if I am caught off-guard. And I find myself thinking ‘ but she’s a nice person, really’! Then I remember I’m here to EXCEL at being who I really am, not to pussy-foot around. And it feels better to have supportive people around me, people who GET me! Brilliantly-written, Jeannette, and I Love the script! Thank you.

  • Carmen says:

    Thank you for this! As always, you come in right on time!
    I work in a public place in a town that has very low vibration energy and as an empath, I really be feeling it from these customers. As a matter of fact, this morning I had a lady come in with a not too happy attitude!
    Then, by a little nudging from the universe, I decided to take a look at your site today and lo and behold, here you go saving my day once more!
    Anyway, not caring about what people think of me and not letting them get the best of me is something I have been working on. Shoot, that’s one of the reasons why my money vibration has been kinked! I sometimes wonder how people might criticize me for wanting to manifest money out of “thin air” and have more money in my life while others struggle (shame and guilt vibe).
    Ah well, that’s a different discussion for a different day.
    Once again, thanks! This came at the perfect time!

  • AmBentious says:

    I might understand at least a little bit of what Mia is talking about.
    Is there a script if you are on the opposite side of the coin?
    Someone who I have referred to as a best friend has given me his opinion(s) on certain things and although he might have been trying to be honest, there’s a part of me that doesn’t want to be friends with him anymore.
    However, I can understand that the world/universe/whatever could be a mirror of my own beliefs, and I that could have been creating that reality.

    • Jeannette says:

      “What feels better?” That’s the question I’d be continually asking myself, so I’m following my own inner guidance into a better-feeling reality.
      Being willing to release relationships that don’t serve me any more is key to being able to allow that evolution. And sometimes it doesn’t mean the end of the relationship when I’m willing to let it be (the end), if you know what I mean? That attachment can mess things up sometimes.

  • Mia says:

    Jeannette, I wonder: What can you do when you feel that you are at the mercy of those who blame you? What if they have the power to make your life worse (if you don’t go along with what they expect of you)? I just don’t know how to turn that around.
    I would like to let go of a particular difficult relationship in my life but I know that if I do so, it will result in me being even more alone and isolated. Any advice how I could improve my vibration a little bit? Would be much appreciated, as always! 🙂
    Thanks for the reminder, perfect timing for me, too!

    • Jeannette says:

      Mia, I would revisit the principles of conscious creation and know that *I’m* in charge of my world and my reality – not anyone else. It is what I think .. so if I’m willing to think something more empowering, so shall it be.
      What it really comes down to is being willing to change your mind. As Bashar says, “If you can’t change your mind, you’re not using it.”
      That’s one thing I like to prove to myself that I can do, even when (especially when) it seems I’m in a tight fix … I can find a better feeling thought. That’s all it takes to let my situation improve.

  • Bodil says:

    I enjoy this a lot.
    Nice to know, we are many, who understand vibration in action.
    To your manifesting game 🙂

  • Ming says:

    Still thinking about this one today … its a powerful post. That vibrational handicap — holy moly. That one sticks in the brain haha. Which is good. Because that means, I’m going to get there. By gosh, by golly.
    That is one thing I WILL master. Hmm. Now that I think about it, Im going to make this an affirmation. Since they work for me.

  • Lorie says:

    Thank you. Perfect timing. You always just seem to know what to say / write Jeanette! Love how tapped in and tuned in you are!

  • Jeri says:

    This came at the most PERFECT time, of course! LOVE it… and will definitely be using these scripts.

  • Kim Patrick says:

    Conscious Creator – Wow, I love that! I wish we could remember every day that we are creating our destinies. It’s easier said than done but I do try my hardest to stay in a state of high vibration.

    • Jeannette says:

      The more we practice it, the better we get at it, and the more natural it becomes. That practice pays off, is what I’m saying! Because I agree, Kim, it can be daunting at first.
      Here’s to practice and progress! 🙂

  • Mindy J says:

    Wow!!! You go girl!!! And now I’m soaking up every last bit of this whole blog post!!!
    As usual…perfect timing! Don’t you just LOVE that???
    Haha!!! Here’s to “I mean – let them have it their way. What they think and feel is not your concern. And it’s not your fault. It’s not for you to manage.” That in itself is worth it’s weight in gold!!!
    Thanks Jeannette!

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