Giving Up The Fight

boxing-glovesIt’s official.

I’m giving up the fight today.  On lots of things:

  • I’m giving up my prejudice against processed food.  (Why did I carry that so long?  I know better!) 
  • I’m giving up trying to contain this feral foster mom.  (Sweetie, you wanna go – you can go.)
  • I’m giving up thinking I know how air travel purchase is supposed to work.  (What do you mean my browser timed out?!  Who do I gotta be – Speedy Gonzalez to get this thing done before you unplug me?!
  • I’m giving up telling my body what I think is best.  (I was thinking sleep would be better, but she says awake is the way to go.)

Okay, I get it.
While I’m at it, I’m also gonna give up thinking I know how Russ should deal with his youngest son.  And maybe my attachment to this sweet foster dog, Sydney. 
And giving up being upset about damage to carpets and broken dishwasher doors and screwed up internet service.
Whoa nellie – things are starting to feel better already!
I’m giving up the fight!  Yay!!
Feral mom, Humane Society is waiting for you and they (unlike me) believe you are adoptable.  I’ll take good care of your babies.
Dishwasher repair guy – take your time.  It all works out perfectly.
Crackers and cheese for lunch – I’m gonna eat it either way, why not LOVE IT?!
Body says move now, I get it.  We’ll move.  She says chocolate soy milk – hey, who am I to argue?!  She’s officially running the show from now on.  Can’t wait to see what happens!  (Oh my God, did I just say “see what happens“!?  ha!)
I know I’m due to send out an ezine today and a follow up post on Bridging the Manifesting Gap – we’re waiting till some of this resistance clears, apparently.
‘Cause I’m giving up the fight.  All of them!  Including the one that says you better finish booking your air travel since you only have one leg purchased.   Screw it!  I hate air travel, and Universe and Delta and Southwest all know it!  I can’t fool ’em! 
I’m giving up the resistance and getting okay with what is.   
And already, just while typing this post, I feel (and see) things coming together. 

  • The furniture delivery guy calls to say bookcase is ready and lets me pick the delivery day next week.  Sweet! 
  • Michele says stay as long or short as you want on Sunday.  Easy!
  • My ex & best friend calls to say “What can I do for you today?”  Oh, let me count the ways! 

Ahh, the relief of giving up the fight! 
All this perseverance and “make it happen no matter what” and be the boss of everything – sheesh, it sucks.
When we feel resistance, rather than taking it as a sign to buckle down and grin & bear it and get’r done – let’s instead take it as a signal to relax and let go
Let’s take a deep breath and give it a hug instead of a boxing glove punch. 
Let’s remember that it all works out; that plenty is going right, and not take it all so seriously, huh?
Hee hee.
This post was for me today, but I thought someone else might benefit as well, so here it is.

  • May 26, 2009
  • bush says:

    hi how aer you so i doent know so im ok

  • Daphne says:

    Oh Jeannette! Thank you for this message! Yes, it’s something that my brain knows but how I needed to read this as a reminder! I’ve realized that so much of my issue with letting go has been my expectation that people move along on my timeframe. And time and time again, the Universe helps me to see that my timeframe isn’t always going to get first priority.
    I know how to let go. I’ve done it before! Now to get rid of the feeling that my life is going by while I’m waiting for other things to “fall” into place…
    I am timeless, I am ageless, I am the Universe!

  • Jennifer says:

    OK. Uncle!
    I give up worrying about my German Shepherd’s health. I am thankful that the x-rays showed that her hips are fine. No hip dysplasia… Yay! And I know that the money for surgery to repair her partially torn acl will come at the appointed time.
    I give up. And it feels good.

  • Jonathan Lockwood says:

    Darlin’, it looks like you struck a nerve today–albeit in a good way!
    “Let’s remember that it all works out; that plenty is going right, and not take it all so seriously, huh?”
    This is just what I was thinking yesterday. But, with about forty years of my former thinking, it’s good to get this reminder.

  • Kay says:

    Thank you Jeanette!
    I am breathing a gi-normous sigh of relief – ahhhhhhhhh

  • Mitch says:

    Good words, Jeannette.
    I’m working on some affirmations this week, mostly to do with money, and I have come up against some heavy internal resistance. So I sat myself down today and repeated “I am a money magnet” 500 times. And when I was done I felt great! And tonight I find out that a credit card has gone to collections and a paycheck error caused me to get paid less than I was supposed to.
    And I am laughing out loud to myself as I think, “Finally! Some results!!!” lol Because at this point, ANY change in terms of money means that some shifts are finally happening. I’m letting go of the need to call these things bad and get upset about them. I can’t wait to see where these incidents will lead me. 🙂

  • JM says:

    Okay, so I am really loving this “giving up” talk. I must admit that it feels so bizarre as it sort of has this negative connotation to it usually. I have been practicing journaling more positively in recent years so it felt strange at first.
    I posted it as a facebook status today and everyone instantly made it mean something horrible, and while…in that moment I was frustrated with something, I wasn’t necessarily being negative. It’s just about letting go, which is something I obviously could use a lot of! Anyway, I went to the park after work yesterday and “gave up” a lot of stuff in my journal. All I know is I had two really important subjects turn up in my dreams last night. Two situations I could use some closure in…and I had very literal dreams about them where I was confronting/discussing the issue with the person involved. I can’t say I have closure, as I am unsure whether the dreams didn’t just leave things right where they were in both cases, but it felt good to connect with those people…if only in my dream. I have been blown away all day that I would dream about both of them in one night. I am usually lucky to remember dreaming any one “important” thing!
    So…I gave up a lot more today…I’m kinda diggin’ it!

  • elizabeth says:

    oh man .. I’m with you too. I give up. I give up on trying to make that customer happy. She can be however she wants to be (I keep doing The Work on my need for her to be happy but my relief only lasts about a minute, LOL). I give up on trying to sell my photos. I have an idea on how to turn them into cards and give them to others to sell so they can make money for our animal shelter – which is even more fun. I give up on trying to fit into my old clothes. Doesn’t everyone want an excuse to buy new clothes? 😉 Yay – I feel so much better – so thanks for that! 🙂

  • Pure Potential Coach says:

    from the Chopra Center
    The Law of Least Effort
    Nature’s intelligence functions with effortless ease . . . with carefreeness, harmony, and love. And when we harness the forces of harmony, joy, and love, we create success and good fortune with effortless ease.
    I will put the Law of Least Effort into effect by making a commitment to take the following steps:
    1. I will practice Acceptance. Today I will accept people, situations, circumstances, and events as they occur. I will know that this moment is as it should be, because the whole universe is as it should be. I will not struggle against the whole universe by struggling against this moment. My acceptance is total and complete. I accept things as they are this moment, not as I wish they were.
    2. Having accepted things as they are, I will take Responsibility for my situation and for all those events I see as problems. I know that taking responsibility means not blaming anyone or anything for my situation (and this includes myself). I also know that every problem is an opportunity in disguise, and this alertness to opportunities allows me to take this moment and transform it into a greater benefit.
    3. Today my awareness will remain established in Defenselessness. I will relinquish the need to defend my point of view. I will feel no need to convince or persuade others to accept my point of view. I will remain open to all points of view and not be rigidly attached to any one of them.

  • Amreta says:

    Thanks for wonderful post Jeannette! That’s exactly the answer I needed today to why I didn’t feel ‘light’. Once I stopped fighting those things that ‘didn’t go my way’, I felt much better, things seemed easier and you know what…suddenly ideas flowed!! I should practice this more and more! 😀 Thanks a bunch Jeannette!!

  • MissyB says:

    Jim S – thanks for reminding me – last line of the poem “it just is”. We are were we are and all of it just is. There’s another wave of relief flowing through me at that thought. Isn’t it amazing where resistence hides.
    YAY !

  • Gillian says:

    Oh Gosh, you make me feel sooo good Jeannette!! Its such a great reminder that life is not all about persistence, patience, hard work! Thanks Jeannette, I really needed this!

  • Nicole says:

    ROFL I was literally lmao’ing right here at my desk! The ‘see what happens’ part where you caught yourself is so classic…! You are hilarious Jeanette.
    We are all definitely connected in some cosmic way on this blog…it seems as if we are all feeling the same way at the same time! I completely let go today and stopped resisting bad thoughts and just let them get it out of their system. Now I can point downstream, enjoy the sunny day and the blossoming trees. This laid back relief party is just what I called on!
    Anyone up for a virtual long island tea? hehehe

  • Phillis says:

    Totally L O V E this. Had an Awesome Webinar scheduled for last Monday — the presentation looked so Sweet and to the point of the discussion — I was ready really ready.
    Guess what — massive Technical issues . . . so after 10 minutes of all the ‘stuff’ we went the old fashion way – if this can be called old fashion. I emailed the PowerPoint to the participants and we discussed on the phone!
    I gave up and I won! The Group Won . . .
    Jeannette – thank you again (and again) for your wonderful BLOGs!
    Cheers, P.

  • Jim Swanson says:

    I received something from the Indenders of the Highest Good today, that (I think) fits right in pretty well with this discussion. The suggestion is that “you needn’t believe, accept, reject, or react to anyone else’s ideas unless you want to. All you have to do is witness what’s going on.” There was a little poem, too:
    No wrong, no right
    No dark, no light
    No good, no bad
    No sane, no mad
    No low, no high
    No yours, no my
    No rich, no poor
    No less, no more
    No weak, no strong
    No short, no long
    No big, no small
    No spin at all
    No there, no here
    No far, no near
    No gain, no name
    It’s all the same
    It just is.
    Don’t beat yourself about stuff; back up and start over with impartial observing.
    I felt good about it, anyway!
    Jim S.

  • The Inner Genius Coach says:

    O, Jeanette, thanks so much! How lovely!
    I loved this post.
    I have been doing a better job of learning to just let things go and not having to figure things out five years in advance, so this post helps me out so much.
    I join you in giving up the fight to everything.
    Phew! That feels better already.
    I give up the fight to figuring it all out in advance and I just rest in the knowledge that all is well with me and in my world.
    That feels good.
    Iyabo Asani

  • Okay, Iyabo, you made me laugh out loud with that “figuring things out five years in advance” thought.
    How ridiculous we can be sometimes, huh?! I remember being stressed out about choosing to start a coaching practice, that what if I didn’t still like it in five years … my mentor coach was like, “Duh – then you’ll do something ELSE in five years!”
    Of course. Silly me. hee hee
    But all I’ve done is love it more and more as I approached and passed the five year mark. And that’s all because of you – everyone here – making this journey more amazing than I ever even knew it could be.
    Thanks for reminding all is well, Iyabo. Namaste.

  • Ooh, Jessica, “the right choice” vs. “what feels good.”
    What an interesting concept, as I realize I have some disparity there. Surprising to me, but important to be aware of!
    Thanks for adding to my consciousness on this topic, girlfriend!

  • Jessica says:

    Love it! 😉
    I give up letting others’ actions annoy me. My identity or choices are not attached to what they do or don’t do! I give up worrying about how others spend their money. I can set my boundaries without being upset by them! I give up always trying to pick the right choice- now I’ll just do whatever feels good!! I give up looking for stuff!! It will appear when it is supposed to. I give up trying to make my family organized so that I can have peace of mind… I give up needing peace of mind! Why not turn into a crazy old woman?! haha. I give up on losing weight by forced uninspired action. I know that it happens effortlessly when I am HAPPY!! I am HAPPY when I give up the fight! When I give up and allow others to be who they are and allow myself to be who I AM!!!
    Thanks Jeanette! Of course you’re the Good Vibe Coach!

  • Lovely to have you at this Relief Party, MissyB! Ha – I didn’t realize that’s what this would turn into, but I am LOVING IT!!
    What great company we are, too! 🙂

  • And in doing that Pernille, I know exactly what your next post will be.
    Don’t you love how this all works?!
    WOO HOO!!

  • Missy B says:

    Spot on !
    I’ve got a really pants neighbour who keeps insisting she shuts the gate to our property – Yep I’m fed up of fighting that one !
    My special friend doesn’t know whether he’s coming or going where I’m concerned – Yep I’m fed up of that one too.
    Lets stop, breathe and just go with the flow. Pure, instant relief ! Lurvely !

  • Funny you posted on this subject today, Jeannette, and very inspiring – just an hour ago I decided to give up fighting against my “not having enough money”-thing!
    I’ve been giving it my very best to attract more money into my life for quite a long period (very long, actually!), and have actually several times manifested huge amounts, but not on as regularly a basis as I wish it to be.
    And I’ve been having a lot of fun playing various money games lately, feeling light and easy about money (at least I though I did!) – but lately even money I knew was due to come into my account has not showed up (yet – I know it’s only a matter of days – or hours!).
    And today I suddenly realized that I haven’t been playing money games and having fun with money for the last 4-5 days. Why? – don’t know, just haven’t – and then I gave up the fight, accepted that it is what it is – felt that everything was OK, felt sure that the money will show up in due time, felt relief, felt light and easy – and felt super when I shortly after read your post – ha-ha – yes, I admit I have been fighting (without realizing it) and now I have given up the fight – gosh, what a relief, this feels great 🙂
    Have a wonderful day, everybody 🙂

  • Susan, if I could “favorite” or spotlight comments, that one of yours would be getting it!
    Thanks for it. 🙂

  • Susan says:

    Intention. Attention. No tension.

  • Oh my gosh, Judiesjuice, did you just show us how to make peace with resistance?!
    I LOVE it!!!
    You’re the BEST!!!

  • Judiesjuice says:

    I love this post! I have been waiting to hear back from an editor about a position I applied for. Throughout the day, I kept on trying to not think about it since I felt anxious and I felt my anxiety was going to prevent me from receiving the news that I wanted to hear. I finally told myself and the Universe “I want to hear from her! I cannot help it! So what if I am feeling anxious, nervous and excited? I cannot deny my feelings. What I am feeling is perfectly normal!!!!!!”
    Sure enough, shortly after that “conversation”, I received an email from said editor. While it was not the answer I was expecting (I thought she would call me in for a formal interview), it was nevertheless a step in the right direction and clearly I am still being considered for the spot 🙂 Yeah baby!!!

  • Dana - Your Inspired Coach says:

    Tia ~
    You gave into resistance and look what happened? Nicely done!

  • As usual you’ve inspired me to write a blog post. No wonder I hang around here so much 🙂

  • Susan says:

    Mustt be in the atmosphere today. Realized that I did not need to stay on a conference call that was not speaking to me. Realized that I needed a 15 minute nap rather than reading the manuscript that the other author has taken a lonnnng time to revise. Realizing that I wrote about going with the flow in my gratitude list this morning and here I was resisting the flow. Thanks for reminding me… are the best.

  • Now THAT’S not like you, is it, Tia? To take it seriously! ha – that’s one of your best gifts! Easy for you to return to, I know.
    I loved this: “When I feel resistance to not doing my best, that makes me not do my best .. actually it makes me not do anything at all!”
    Good reminder for all of us recovering perfectionists out there. 🙂

  • I’ve done it all month (fighting)!
    I said I was going to write these blog posts on money and belief systems and all month I’ve done everything but. I tried to write a few times and got stuck so then I just let it go. I know as always it will happen when the timing is perfect and will probably help more people when I do write it than if I did it now. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!
    When I feel resistance to not doing my best, that makes me not do my best .. actually it makes me not do anything at all!
    Until I feel guilty and do something totally uninspired.
    Like this month has been uninspiring to me in terms of writing blog posts – so I re-purposed 2 articles/ezine issues into posts ….. and those turned out to be the ones with the least comments or engagement ever! LOL. The Universe sensed the energy it was done with, much?
    I’ve been fighting my resistance to go the the gym (3 weeks since I’ve gone) and stop sponsoring them thanks to my lack of usage. Didn’t work so Gym people, you’re welcome to my $70 for May and I hope you spent it on lattes.
    I’ve been taking it all too seriously the last 2 weeks and does that show! Back to being my usual, fun, carefree self and not resist my natural instincts to be ME, and do it MY way rather than someone else’s way.
    Resistance, welcome, what shall we do next? Let’s not go to the gym, let’s not eat well, let’s not go out into the sunshine, let’s watch a dvd, let’s not do anything that makes me feel like I’m not me. Ok, thanks!

  • It DOES feel good, doesn’t it, Anna?! Thanks for joining the party of giving up the resistance!
    And with that can come the deep breath of relief.

  • Amen to the downstream journey, Dana! I love that you’re willing to let that take you wherever it leads – talk about lack of resistance!
    Sometimes I’ve realized that thinking of myself as a Master Manifester can feel something like a control freak. lol
    Here’s to the easy balance!
    Thanks for posting, Dana. 🙂

  • Anna says:

    I absolutely ADORE synchronicity – I’m playing too!
    I give up wishful thinking that he’ll change his mind! (“he” being most all who aren’t my son)
    And I give up being concerned about others’ perception of my home-based site-specific art projects (kitchen, living room, back table…)
    I’m done – UNCLE!
    … Whew. That feels good!

  • Dana - Your Inspired Coach says:

    Funny you posted on this topic today, Jeannette. I’m with you too. I have struggled and struggled with what to do about the job situation we talked about and I have thrown my hands up and said, “I give up the fight. No more struggling with it. It is what it is and it’ll go the way it’s supposed to go.” 🙂 Did I just say that? Yes, downstream may feel best when you just take your hands off the wheel and ride the wave.
    Maybe I can use a six figure salary. Maybe there is a lesson in simply having the interviews and options. Maybe when the options appear it will be clear what to do next.
    Maybe I’ll just say “fiddle dee dee” and worry about it tomorrow.
    In the spirit of giving up the fight, I slept great last night not worrying about my interview and I flowed right through it today without a worry in the world. 😀

  • Here’s to having such great company in remembering to go with that flow!!
    Thanks for posting, Susan. 🙂

  • Ooh, good job, Michelle! I can feel the relief present in that for you already!!
    woo hoo!!

  • Michelle says:

    Jeannette, I’m right there with you. I’m done trying to make other people get along with each other. Either they do or they don’t, but I’m not gonna let it mess with my feel good anymore.

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