Got Bad Feelings?
One of the most asked questions I get from LOA savvy folks are what to do with negative feelings. We know we get what we vibrate, so if we’re immersed in something negative, how do we get out of it?
Answer: stop trying to get out of it.
Feel your feelings.
They’re not as scary as they might seem.
I’m not saying revel in them, or stay stuck in them. I’m just saying we aren’t going to be able to avoid feeling them by ignoring them or wishing them away. It’s okay to feel them. That’s actually a rich part of the human experience, don’t you think?
You’re irritated at your sister for changing the family’s holiday plans? That’s okay. Be irritated. So what? Once you let yourself be irritated, it’s much easier to get over it. It’s trying NOT to be irritated that keeps you stuck in it.
You’re mad at the boss for shortchanging you on the raise he promised? It is what it is. If you’re mad, be mad. And then you’ll be able to leave mad behind sooner rather than later.
It’s not that you approach your less-than-fabulous feelings with the AGENDA of ridding yourself of them, rather that’s just a beautiful side benefit that those negative feelings are more easily released after you accept them.
Well, it’s not that weird. What we resist, persists. So don’t be afraid of your negative emotions.
When I let myself entertain thoughts of revenge against that neighbor I struggled for weeks with, that actually felt better. (A LOT better. It feels awful to feel powerless, but revenge – now that gave me access to feelings of power again.) That feeling of revenge eventually gave me access to choose other feelings, like peace and appreciation. But if I had sworn off all negative feelings – oh man, I hate to think where I’d still be with him.
Where does deliberate creation fit in all this? In our conscious choice to feel what we feel. And then making deliberate movement up the emotional scale as we’re ready to.
When I had Shadow euthanized, I felt sad. I didn’t try talking myself out of it, although I did remind myself I didn’t need to be sad for him. I let myself be sad for me. It’s amazing how much more quickly I move through grief now that I know to let myself feel it. Instead of trying to pretend it’s okay or wishing the pain away or doing everything possible to avoid thoughts of my favorite cat, I just feel sad.
So I felt sad.
And then … I didn’t.
Instead of dealing with buried grief that I’m afraid would just bring me more things to grieve over, I honored what I felt. That allowed me to move on to appreciation and love for what great company he was for those 18.5 years. As I find my way to thoughts that feel better, I welcome those. No need to dwell in something that doesn’t feel great when there are other options available.
But until those other options become available – in fact, what ALLOWS them to become available – is feeling what’s up for you now.
So here’s to your fabulous feelings, including the revenge and anger and despair and all the other wicked ones. Let go of your judgment and fear of them, and enjoy playing with the full deck.
(Unless of course judgment or fear is what’s up for you. ha In that case, enjoy them too!)