Habits of Tension?
A week ago my sweetie and I started watching Mickey Rourke in The Wrestler and got two thirds through before the DVD player went fritzy. All week long I’d been imagining how it might end, really enjoying the anticipation of alternate possibilities.
Last night with a new DVD player connected we finished watching
(Spoiler Alert: skip this post if you don’t want to hear how it ends!)
… we finished watching Randy the Ram self-destruct. For some reason, that wasn’t one of the endings I’d anticipated!
Earlier that same day I listened to Abraham say they think we enjoy the drama of our lives – of building the tension in order to more thoroughly enjoy the release of resistance. (“Wheeeeeeeeee” is how we squeal with delight once we let go of our overstretched rubber band.)
I thought of a couple friends who have these habits, whether it’s reaching the brink of financial ruin before pulling off a save, or sabotaging relationship after relationship, or continually manifesting illness in their body.
Thinking of their drama, I was grateful that I don’t have a habit of resistance in my own life.
And then this morning I did something that got my attention: I put the new retainer in (that the dentist was excited to give me three weeks ago) – I put it back in after breakfast.
Which was unusual, because even though that’s what I’m supposed to do after every meal, I haven’t done it once yet. Wearing it during the daytime is a hassle. It makes me talk funny, and I’m not one for following the rules anyway.
So when I put it back in for the day, without really purposely intending to, I wondered why. Then I realized I put it back in because I’ve become accustomed to the tension it provides.
Accustomed to the tension.
It made me wonder what other tension I might be choosing unconsciously, just because I’ve become so accustomed to it?
Here’s the thing, guys: I don’t think I’m the only one doing this.
Remember the scene from What The Bleep where Candace Pert talks about how we become addicted to our emotions? Because our emotions have a chemical component that our body cells not only adapt to, but become so used to that the body will actually crave it when it goes without?
Yeah, like addicted to drama. Or self-destruction. Or adrenalin. Or tension.
In looking through other areas of life besides the dental retainer, I realized I’m also used to tension between my ex and my sweetie. I take it for granted. I don’t even bother manifesting something different!
I’m also used to tension when it’s time for foster dogs and cats to go up for adoption. (Why wouldn’t I let go of THAT?!) I’m used to tension when I travel. Sheeh, and that’s just what I found in the first couple seconds of looking!
Imagine if Randy the Ram or his sweetie Cassidy had been able to end old patterns of self destruction and disappointment and were able to instead choose relief and happiness?
Surely they could have, had they just been more aware of their situation and their power to change it. And surely we can to.
When we become aware – which we do simply by observing – we can make new choices in support of what we want, rather than what we’re used to.
Here it is almost noon and my retainer’s still in! Makes me wonder if perhaps I’m ready to give up the tension of being a rule-breaker? ha!
I’m curious to hear whether any of this hits home for you. Do you see any habits of creating tension in your life? Are there scenes you find yourself repeating, even though you might choose differently if you were paying better attention? Are there any life tensions you take for granted?
Or maybe you have a story of how you DID release old habits of tension to allow more relief into your life? We’d love to hear from you!