Hope Is Not a Strategy

Enjoy this guest post on why it’s wise to give up hope from my friend and colleague Cindie Chavez

“Luck is not a factor. Hope is not a strategy. Fear is not an option.” ~ James Cameron
Why It's Wise to Give Up Hope

This is one of my favorite quotes, and while I usually like to talk about luck, I want to address the idea of Hope, and why hope is not a viable strategy for a conscious creator.

First and foremost, if you’re feeling hopeless, I want to help you find that glimmer of possibility that creates a spark of excitement; to move you from despairing to hopefulness, because I believe in you. I really do believe in your intrinsic magic as a human BEING, with the power to create, shift and change.

I know that things can change for you in an instant, and I also know that a big part of that will depend on you choosing for things to be different.

The catch is that if you are feeling hopeless, it can be really hard to make that choice for yourself.

When you are in despair the idea that things could ever change for you may seem impossible.

Helpless, Hopeless, Powerless. I’ve been to those places, too, and they are not my favorite places to visit.

So, yes, I want to give you hope – maybe I should say I’d like to restore your hope – because if you’re like most of us, you’ve been hopeful before. You’ve had moments of clarity, moments of “omg, this is going to be so fantastic!!” moments of wanting to throw your arms open and say “YES” to the world because the possibilities seemed so vast, so endless. You know, that whole “the sky’s the limit” type of feeling.

And then it happened. I don’t know what it was … a divorce, an infidelity, a death, a diagnosis, a company down-size, who knows maybe it was just a really bad day … and that bad day or awful event brought every hopeful thought to a screeching halt.

So I want you to remember what it felt like when you were pretty damn sure you could fly. You had a glimmer of what it was that you wanted to create and you had an inkling that you could do it. That time when you were absolutely at your best.

Time was on your side. The Universe was supporting you. The World was your oyster.

Please grab that feeling, take a deep breath, realize that you are powerful, you are unique, you can do it.

Remember the feelings you had during a time when you were at your best.

It may be that simple for you, this may be all you need to feel that spark again.

On the other hand, you may want more help. You may want to call upon your support team, whether they are humans, animals, or angels. A good cry might help. Uplifting music. A call with a coach or a mentor. A hug. A walk in nature, meditation, music, making a decision to focus on something you love doing just for the sheer joy of it – there are so many things that can shift your vibration. But one thing is for sure, if you’ve had hope before, you can feel hopeful again.

And then, once your hope has been restored, I want to help you ditch it as soon as possible.

Yeah, I’m throwing a monkey wrench in the whole bushel of hope.

I remember one of my mentors saying something like, “Hope is the most poetic form of victimhood.”

That hit me so hard, but what’s even worse is that I believe the only person who can victimize me is me. I choose whether or not to play a victim. We’re always winning the game we’re playing and if we are choosing to play the victim role and we play it long enough, well – we might just be on our way to becoming a real champion at being a victim.

And unfortunately what that means as far as hope is concerned is that hope is the most beautiful form of self-abuse.

“Hope is the most beautiful form of self-abuse.” Ugh.

I just can’t handle abusing myself this way, or watching you abuse yourself this way.

If you want to create a different life for yourself you have to stop hoping your life will change.

You must begin knowing it will change. You have to know you have the power to change it.

Decide now that you’re going to stop hoping your soulmate will show up, hoping the house sells, hoping you get more clients, hoping you lose weight, hoping that George Martin doesn’t die before he finishes writing the Game of Thrones series. (Well actually go ahead and hope for that one.)

You must start knowing your soulmate will show up, knowing the house will sell, knowing you’re going to get what you want, or its equivalent, or something even better.

You do this by becoming that person that has a soulmate, becoming that person that has more clients, becoming that person who has what it is you want. Become that person now, and those things will show up.

When you absolutely know that you are the person who has what you want, you’re home free.

Hoping for things to change is a pretty sounding way of staying right where you are.

I know you have the power to change things, because of the intrinsic magic you hold as a human BEing. Not a human DOing, or a human hoping.

Be the change you want to see.

Learn how to transform your hope into faith.

Act like you expect to act once you get what it is you want.

Think like that person thinks.

Speak like a person who has that thing speaks.

Find evidence and more evidence until you are convinced that you are that person.

It might take time, perseverance, patience even. Trust the process.

I KNOW you can. You have the power.

So, what are you hoping for? And how would it feel to know that it’s a done deal?
Cindie Chavez

Cindie Chavez, “The Love & Magic Coach”, is a certified life and relationship coach (CPC), an Energy Leadership Master Practitioner (ELI-MP) and an expert in Conscious Creation. She loves helping creative, busy, women experience more love and magic in their lives, and she’d love to help you, too. Find her at CindieChavez.com.

  • October 8, 2015
  • T.S kien says:

    Hi Cindie
    Enjoyed your blog post! Great topic, I agree that hope alone doesn’t change anything. We can hold our breath and hope until our face turns blue but it wouldn’t change a darn thing. LOL. But HOPE combined with action is where the magic begins.
    Hope coupled with action is what helped me break out of my years of depression. I don’t take any medication and things are looking pretty good these days!
    Your suggestions for finding support are great, what helps me is walking in nature, meditating and listening to uplifting music.
    Peace, love, & light to all the like minded people that comes here. Thanks for being the portal for all of us to gather here JEANETTE!
    Love you all.

    • Hi T.S. kien,
      I’m so glad you mentioned taking action, there is a certain magical quality indeed to taking action, especially inspired action!
      Inspired action is exactly the thing that strengthens our faith, and that inspired action may not even be logically connected to the “thing” we desire. But once we take that inspired step things often start to shift right away!
      Very glad to hear that you have been able to break out of years of depression! How wonderful!
      I find that walking in nature, meditating, and listening to music are all very helpful for myself as well!
      Thank you for chiming in! So happy you enjoyed the post. 🙂

  • Heather says:

    Great article. Thank you Cindie.
    I like the idea of not being Human Hoping! 🙂

  • Bea says:

    I totally agree that hope is overrated. But how can we act as if, if we’re supposed to let go/detach from our desire and not obsess over it?

    • Jeannette says:

      Bea, maybe this will help:
      Imagine you’re at your favorite restaurant and you’ve just ordered your favorite meal. You are REALLY looking forward to this dinner! There you are at the table chatting with your dinner mate, having a nice time, fully expecting your favorite food to arrive, even though there’s no food within reach, and you aren’t obsessing over it.
      Does that help you find the feeling?

      • Love this example Jeannette! I often use the example of wanting a book, and then placing the order for it. At that point I can check it off my list, because it’s on the way. I still want it, I still desire it, but I’ve stopped being concerned with having to do anything because it’ll be here any day now.
        Bea, we don’t let go of our desire, we just let go of our attachment to how/when it will arrive.

  • james harley says:

    Hope is for the hopeless…..
    Why Do We Hope It’ll Be Alright?
    Because we are trained from birth to think that is what we need to do! Not only that but nearly all experts who we have listened to about hope have got it wrong.
    Do you hope for stuff? I bet you do! After all, we are trained from birth and given this sort of personality defect from parents who were trained defectively from birth as well. We hope for stuff simply because that’s what we have been taught by parents, friends, teachers, society’s brightest minds, the media…everybody teaches this backwards.
    Well just because everybody is doing something, it doesn’t make it right. As Mark Twain said, “when you find yourself on the side of popular opinion it’s time to pause and reflect.”
    Well it’s time to look at the state of hoping for just a little time so that we can shine a light on this insidious demon. As if you don’t, then you don’t have a hope! Once I’ve shone a light on this monster for you, then you’ll start to view things from yet another different perspective.
    You Are Letting The Devil In Disguise Into Your Life
    Hope is one of the most evil words there is as it totally lies to us. It really is the devil in disguise. For example: –
    * I hope this works…
    * I hope we will have enough money..
    * I hope we will be alright…
    * I hope I get rich…
    * I hope I don’t get hurt…
    * I hope it’s not too hard…
    * I hope I do well…
    We are trained to hope for everything in life! We are trained to hope that something or someone will save us, change our life, make us happy and bring us what we want.
    However, as soon as we enter the state of hoping then what are we really asking for? More hoping of course. And hope is truly horrible! Why?
    Because hoping is a lack statement you are making, which says that I haven’t got this and I hope something other than myself can bring it to me. Talk about weak; this is worse than the state of wanting!
    So you are directly asking for more hoping! And you are stating that you are so weak that it is beyond your power to do anything about it other than hope for it to get better. This is worse than believing in luck!
    I honestly can’t remember the last time I hoped for anything. In fact it was probably when I was at school or college sitting my exams, as everyone else was hoping for a good result. So I seem to remember following the crowd.
    Since then I have never knowingly used the state of hoping to acquire anything in my life. I obviously instinctively new somehow just what a horrible state of mind it was to be in. But it was only when I was unravelling the layers of crud that had built up did I notice that other people hoped for things.
    It was the first time I’d ever looked at the state of hoping and I noticed what a horror this state was and saw the scale at which this had been accepted by society as the right way to get what you want.
    Hope is something very dangerous as you feel it helps you to keep going e.g. statements like: – “if you give up hope then all else is lost!” train you to think this way.
    Hope = Never Attaining Happiness (Well That’s Backwards!)
    But hope keeps you focused on the future and not on the now in the present moment, which of course is the only place you will actually find true happiness. So hope = never attaining happiness. Well that doesn’t work for me, as I know happiness can only happen in the present moment and not in the future.
    You cannot be in a state of hoping and be present, therefore hope is the bastion of the unconscious mind. Therefore if you are hoping for anything then you are unconscious when you hope! And as I’ve repeatedly covered from the very start, the last thing we want to head towards is being unconscious.
    Not only is hope a lack statement, and a demonstration of how unconscious you are, but it also clearly demonstrates what you need e.g.
    * I hope this works – I need this to work
    * I hope we will have enough money – I need to have enough money
    * I hope we will be alright – I need to be alright
    * I hope I get rich – I need to be rich
    * I hope I don’t get hurt – I need to be alright
    * I hope it’s not too hard – I need it to be easy
    * I hope I do well – I need to do well
    Need (of course) is a replacement word for want, and I’ve already covered that the last word to use if you want something is ‘want’ as you simply get more wanting. Needing is saying I want more needing, so (of course) we get what we ask for, and therefore we get more wanting, needing and hoping.
    Giving up on hope is essential to success. I make my own luck, good or bad. I have always made it. Other horror words in this clan are, maybe, tomorrow and soon. Hope is so highly praised by many but has no value or meaning to a conscious person.
    Hope is just an illusion. Look at it for yourself. If you want success, then give up hope as that certainly won’t bring you your desires. Hope just produces the feeling of desperation and helplessness and lack of power. It also causes the fear of non-attainment… does the state of hoping have anything going for it? – Yes, but not for you!
    If there is one word I would seek to remove from our language even more than the word luck it is the word hope. Being in a state of hope is just admitting that you are completely feeble and useless.
    Hope is what keeps the world’s suffering in place. We will not live happily ever after; hope won’t give us that. All hope will give us is more of this devilish state of mind. It’s that little rush of hope that it may get better that keeps us going from one bitter disappointment to the next, because it keeps us from taking responsibility for our in-actions.
    The truth is no one is coming to save you; not me, not some other multi-millionaire. It is down to you…get over it. Accept it. You don’t want to be beholding to me or anyone else anyway. You want to do it yourself.
    You can be in control (you can manifest and create your life) or you can believe in luck. People in the personal development world wonder why they haven’t made it yet despite focusing on themselves and learning all about self improvement. Well, after unravelling the illusions around hope I’d say this is another layer of crud that is holding people back.
    Hope, is wholly about the future and the future has to be understood for what it is. So if thought about the future is being applied wrongly then you cannot be in harmony, and without being in harmony you will not get what you desire.
    Avoid the states of hoping & needing & wanting – then you can become detached from the outcome. In doing so, you will get what you previously hoped, needed or wanted (more on this in another article). So without hope you will get what you desire.
    Hope is complete non-acceptance of what is. It is non-detachment of what you desire.
    Still Don’t Believe Me…
    If you ever have the chance to read the stories of some of the most courageous Medal winners, you read about their unbelievable acts of courage. Consider this; when they were in that moment in their life, right at the point of making it happen… where was hope?
    Hope has no value in creating success.
    ~ Hope is the worst of evils, for it prolongs the torments of man. ~
    – Friedrich Nietzsche
    ~ He who has never hoped can never despair. ~
    – George Bernard Shaw
    I went through six pages of quotes on hope and was truly disgusted at them. Some of our cleverest minds have not understood the insidious nature of hoping. And it is those very people that have helped keep this treacherous monster hidden. However, as you saw there were just a couple of people who understood it. Another way of looking at it is approximately 97% of the quotes from the famous and the influential had the wrong take on hope! Is it any wonder that nearly everyone has it backwards?
    Whilst I was unravelling the state of hoping, I always tried to see if there was any hidden benefit in there, which of course there is, but unfortunately it is only of benefit to the unconscious mind. All I found for us when I looked can be summed up in one sentence…
    Hope is something for the hopeless!

    • “Hope is for the hopeless”…was my original title for this post!! 😀 And for some reason it reminds me of a Jerry Seinfeld episode called “Hope is killing me.” lol
      Lots of good thoughts here, James! Thank you for chiming in. 🙂

      • Ooops, correction! The Seinfeld episode is called The Fix-up. But the quote in the episode is “Hope is killing me.” It’s really very funny (of course!) and at one point George says his goal is to be hopeless. 🙂

  • Practically Always Pollyanna says:

    Absolutely fabulous post, Cindie! Thank you 🙂 🙂

  • Lightline says:

    What I am taking away from this post is – “I “Know” it is going to be fulfilled at its right time, and drop the “Hope” part.
    Question though – My belief says if LOA works on anything that we want, it works on manifesting someone or better friendship. Now, how to keep our calms when that person who is your object of desire bumps every now and then in your daily life. They are crossing the path you are walking and having fun at the same place where you are?
    Thank you.

    • Hi Lightline, as far as attracting relationships and better friendships, I believe the best path is to know the right people are going to come along and align your self with the energy you want to attract, instead of expecting any specific people. If someone you are attracted to is crossing paths with you smile and enjoy it! No need to draw conclusions, just stay curious and know that the right people are going to come into your experience at the right time. 🙂

  • Raji says:

    I love the distinction “Hoping” and “Wishing”. It makes sense to me when I am thinking how come I can manifest some stuff in th eblink of an eye and some just seems like wishful thinking. Because it is that : wishful thinking.
    I have yet to align myself to “be” all that I wish.
    You have written this so beautifully.
    When i read posts like these, I wonder where these thoughts or ideas come from

    • Thank you Raji! Some of it is just semantics, I’m sure, but I do see a distinction between just hoping something will happen and never taking the action (energetically, and emotionally as well as physically) to bring it into existence. I think that wishing can be a jumping off point to manifestation as well – anytime I find myself wishing for something it’s not too long after that I begin formulating how to best bring it into reality.
      “Wishful thinking” however is a little different as I see it, and seems somewhat like just hoping something will happen. Not a very empowering place to be. The good news is, when we catch ourself hoping and wishing something were different, as conscious creators we have the choice to go ahead and begin creating it! And yes, alignment with who we are being is the key.

  • Elle says:

    “We’re always winning the game we’re playing”- thank you for this! This came in a timely manner, as always!
    I read the eBook “Let it Go” and in it the author describes defending his PhD thesis, which went very quickly and did not take all day because he was open to all the suggestions made to him by the committee, was defenseless and not defending himself or being the victim and was just there, present, just going with the flow, not getting angry or anything. He was open and just “was” the past tense of “be”.
    you also answered my perpetual question, if we are more like
    Source, i.e, just “being”, will this make out journey a smoother one and the answer is yes!

    • Thanks, Elle. I read that book and loved it! And love that you connected his PhD thesis experience with “you’re always winning the game your playing”!! Because truly, he just wasn’t going to play the expected game, was he? And his outcome was so awesome. LOVE it.
      Glad that you enjoyed the article and that it answered some questions you were having. And so happy you shared about the perfect timing aspect. Thank you. 🙂

  • Nathalie says:

    So I started to write a response to this one, and it ended up turning into a blog post, which will be published on Monday. But the long and the short of it is this: there is a distinction between “hoping” and “wishing” that is being missed here.
    When we wish that something was different in our lives, we don’t actually believe that it is possible for it to be so. That’s a big alignment issue and the entirely wrong kind of energy for manifesting any kind of positive change.
    When we hope that something can be different in our lives, there is a flicker of belief in there that such a change really can happen. That belief is the key that sets hoping apart from wishing.
    As someone who has been through hell and back more times than I care to count, I can tell you from personal experience that HOPE is critical. Hope is what keeps people alive when everything else has been destroyed.
    Without hope, we do not have the ability to manifest anything positive in life.
    Hope, however, is a seed; it is not an endpoint. It is the start of something greater. What you do is nurture it and keep it alive and help it to bloom into whatever it is that you are trying to create.
    But it starts with hope. Don’t ever let anyone tell you to give up hope. Not ever. Not for any reason. Keep it alive and hold on to it. It is your greatest gift, and your greatest potential.
    Stop wishing and start doing — absolutely. But never give up hoping.

    • Hi Nathalie, I think we’re in total agreement about how important hope is for sure.
      I loved reading your thoughts and ideas about wishing, different perspectives always add so much to the process. And for myself, I love making wishes! And then I manifest them as quickly as possible! 😀
      Sending you love and so glad you didn’t give up hope when you were going through hell, hope must stay alive for us to move beyond it into true Faith, that’s where the good stuff happens. 😀

      • Nathalie says:

        Absolutely. 🙂 I think it’s just a different way of looking at Abraham’s “Emotional Scale”… it’s a scaffolding process. You need the former (hope) in order to get to the latter (faith). You can’t drop hope and expect to get to faith — it just doesn’t work that way. Hope is the foundation for faith.
        I get into the whole “wishing” bit in one of my upcoming books. I believe it’s a critical distinction. And if you can use wishing as a springboard to hoping and believing, that’s awesome! A lot of people get stuck in wishing.
        Light and love to you, as well! 🙂

  • angel says:

    This post comes at such an interesting time. I was at precisely that moment of wondering when – when exactly did hope become a non-essential for myself. That’s both a good and bad thing as Cindie demonstrates. Since one must catch hope to let hope go and get on with the joy of transforming.
    In the Philippines, there’s a phrase people often utter when they find out you’ve been waiting/working/processing/hoping on a situation. I need to qualify this is said from the perspective of a certain degree of third world cynicism, where in the absence of concrete proof or movement, the default is to believe that there’s no hope to be had and you’re dumb for even hankering for it. Which is kinda funny because this is also a culture that’s deeply Catholic and fond of formal prayer, so it seems ironic to me that one kind of hope i.e. religious prayer is sanctioned and yet another i.e. on your own, isn’t.
    This phrase translates to, “why would you even hope or dare you even hope?” It’s a slam dunk shut-you-down kind of comment. A reality check, slap you upside the head thing. So when I started reading this, I clenched immediately as the by-line reminded me of that catch phrase, and naturally I immediately wanted to root for hope. Go hope, yay!
    But the distinction Cindie makes is the kind of sight artist’s use. You can’t always make sense of the light without the darkness – and in that sense, hope is indeed a double edged sword. To me, it’s essential that hope remains as a spark we can rekindle – but it’s a starter fire. It’s the thing to help launch us into belief and becoming. Because the mind is tricky and can get much too comfortable wishing away.
    Hope is really about having that eternal fire help propel us forward. We still need all kinds of tinder (no, not THAT tinder) and we still need to stay stoked.

    • Angel, this: **but it’s a starter fire. It’s the thing to help launch us into belief and becoming. Because the mind is tricky and can get much too comfortable wishing away.
      Hope is really about having that eternal fire help propel us forward. We still need all kinds of tinder (no, not THAT tinder) and we still need to stay stoked.** is SO beautifully said, thank you. (and I LOL’d at the Tinder remark haha)
      I’m so glad you chimed in and shared this. 🙂

      • angel says:

        Thanks Cindie, love your post! I knew the hint of imminent danger I felt before I read it along with the irresistible urge to do so means there’s growth to be had, comfort zones a-blasting and all.
        I really appreciate the nuances there because we live in a paradoxical time of captions and 140 character statements coupled with relentless conclusion seeking and a tendency to victimhood. As if our lives were simply linear, as if we’re really that powerless.
        It’s really the seemingly tiny yet significant clicks of awareness we have that brings us to better focus and helps us own/transmute it to our evolution. Love your site btw and your perspectives!

        • Love everything you’re saying here angel. Something I learned a long time ago that helped my manifesting a great deal was to not make conclusions.
          Your awareness level allows you to be present to those “hints of imminent danger” and to respond instead of react. I imagine you are a wonderful manifester. 🙂
          Thank you for the kind words about my site and my perspectives. I appreciate that.

  • Steffy says:

    I view hope as a spare tire. You carry it in your boot (trunk in America) for when you break down. It happens to the best of us. So you pull it out and you fix it to your car and it carries you to the next place where you can handle it properly. It is not a permanent replacement for the blown tire. You cannot drive over 50 on it or it too will blow. So it goes with hope. Hope picks you up when you’ve fallen and ferries you to the place where you can get your real strength back. Hope is a step forward from despair; it is not the stopping point. Hope is a launching pad. Do not let remaining in hope be your failure to launch.

  • Nina says:

    Just recently I’ve finally surrendered to the idea I have to become a person I want to be with. See, before I wanted to compensate my shortcomings with my partner’s virtues, but now I have to own those virtues myself. It is a pain in my butt, ha-ha, because that means I have to become a courageous entrepreneur. No more hidding behind others, I have to step in my own spotlight. I’m glad I’ve finally embraced the idea, though.
    Thank you for the post!

  • Ashley says:

    Oh my goodness, well said. This came at just the right time, it always does 🙂 Beautiful post!

  • Namaste says:

    I smiled when I read this because it reminded me of the times when I really hoped that I could manifest something. Those were some painful experiences because of course they never happened. The benefit though was those experiences forced me to acknowledge that Universal Laws are real and work in a very specific way. If I follow them, I get the desired results. If I try to take short cuts, if I hope and wish instead of doing the work to get into alignment, nothing ever happens. I love that you wrote this article. It’s one more nail in the coffin of wishful manifesting thinking. Great point =) Great article =)

    • “one more nail in the coffin of wishful manifesting thinking”, Love that thought Namaste! When I catch myself hoping or wishing I just might have to picture nailing that coffin shut! 😀

    • Elle says:

      I use that phrase, too, Namaste! Good to see another using it, because of the vivid picture it evokes and seals the deal, so to speak!

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