How Do YOU Say Hello?

It was nice to read Seth Godin’s “Is everything perfect?” post this morning, not just because it fits perfectly with suggestions we hear regularly from Abraham, but because it was from Seth Godin!

(For those who aren’t familiar, Seth is a heavy hitter and leading edge thinker in the business world, not traditionally known for sharing deliberate creation tips!)

If you ever wondered how to share LOA principles with a traditional audience (read: without sounding wacky to someone who thinks LOA is woo wooey), Seth does it beautifully here.

In this piece, Seth suggests that our performance obsessed society causes us to focus on everything that’s not going perfect. He says we’d be much better served by answering the “what’s up?” question literally with what’s going right.

As Seth writes, “Highlighting what’s working helps you make that happen more often.”

Abraham has long suggested we create a new habit of initiating conversation, where instead of asking each other how it’s going, and thus reinforcing the reality we’ve already created, or giving ourselves a cue to answer honestly when the truth isn’t necessarily what we want more of, instead we share what we’re looking forward to next.

The habit of answering what fun stuff we’re cooking up keeps our focus on where we’re going rather than where we’ve been.

In fact, here’s Abe on why not to focus on the past:

(You can’t keep up with who you really are when you’re thinking about what happened before.  “You are forward looking beings.”)

So one of the best ways we can keep up with the vibrational reality we’ve created (i.e. “get what we want”) is to keep our attention on what’s going right, what we’re looking forward to next, and knowing the power of that focus.

I’d like to hear from you deliberate creators how you greet and answer others.

Have you given up the “How’s it going?” question for one that better prompts others to find a more helpful focus?

And how do you respond when you get the question about how you’re doing? Do you answer as expected, or have you found a way to focus ton the future without sounding wacky?

I’d love to hear what you’re practicing out and about in the “real” world!

  • July 18, 2010
  • Berta Bauer, Lighthouse Coaching and Retreats says:

    A couple of nights ago I was sitting on a friend’s deck with my hubby and another friend. We were all talking, laughing and having fun when I thought about my greating, the new one I’m implementing. So I tried it out.
    “What is the best thing about your day, so far.”
    The comments were really fun, and even though ours moods were already joyful, it was pretty cool to see how quickly we all reflected on our day and shared our best of.
    The other thing that was cool was they all picked up on my “so far” and even though we were nearing the end of the day, we all held onto a possibility that there was even something better to come yet this day.
    Woo Who!

  • JG. says:

    By the way, “bueno” and “nuevo” do share practically the same letters!…

  • JG. says:

    Since I am also a Spanish speaking native, I paid special attention to Brigitte´s comment. But I do see no real problem in bringing this shift in intention to any languaje. For example, one common greeting in Spanish that is: “Hola, ¿Qué hay de nuevo?” (Hi, what´s new?). It may easily be transformed into: “¿Qué hay de bueno?” (What´s good today?)…

  • PhilG says:

    Hey Laura – Didn’t know you posted that to GVU! Great minds think alike…;o)

  • leah says:

    I love to ask people “What exciting thing happened to you today?” It’s easy (especially when the kids come home) but it is a really interesting conversation starter for adults too. People think for a minute and then say “well, you know….. ” and tell me one piece of happiness or unexpected situation they experienced. And then sometimes they just say “nothing”… but you know it changes the process of greeting into one of a little reflection and sharing.
    Thanks Jeanette for another thought provoking post.

  • Laura says:

    Hey Phil..that’s the song I posted on the feel-good video thread. Did you steal my song?

  • PhilG says:

    Hey Super J,
    I think I’m going to adopt your greeting with a slight twist:
    “Tell me something good”! – The Chaka Kahn greeting…:o)
    Dr PG

  • Gemstone says:

    What wonderful responses! I’d expect nothing less from this group. I can’t wait to try all of these out and see what kind of responses they elicit from other people.

  • Pernille Madsen says:

    Wonderful post, Jeannette! I mostly ask “how are you?”, as I’ve never really thought about asking differently! I will definitely ask something more positively focused from now on and I’ve already found lots of inspiration in the comments here (thanks!).
    I do, however, often ask my children “did you experience something nice today?”.
    When asked “how are you?” I usually respond “fabolous” with a big smile! And I’ve noticed lately that some of my friends and family sometimes answer me back the same way; it makes me feel so good, as they have never done this before 🙂

  • When asked ‘how are you?’ I usually respond excellent. That response often stops people in their tracks as it is different from the usual ‘fine, okay, etc’ and often my response turns a social pleasantry into a real conversation.
    Sometimes I ask ‘what are the 3 best thngs about your day?’

  • Nat Couropmitree says:

    MissyB – I do that sometimes too. I catch what people say and question it back to them. It gets people to become aware of and think about what they often say so automatically.

  • MissyB says:

    I’ve no super duper greeting to share, but I always try to see the postive in someone’s answer. I’m always saying “oh that’s not so good, but at least that happened” or similar. Though sometimes I think it gets on their nerves !

  • Berta Bauer, Lighthouse Coaching and Retreats says:

    Just lovin’ your reminder to ask the positive questions. When asked a positive question the responder can ponder the positive things in their life and that alone is a lift for them. And a lift for me when I hear their responce.
    It starts the conversation out on the upward spiral, and lifts both (or all) participants to positive and uplifting thoughts. (Just like this blog)
    So the next person I see I’m going to ask, “Hey, what’s the best part of your day so far?” (Got to leave room for more great things to come.)

  • Parul says:

    Oops… the above comment was from me!! 🙂

  • Anonymous says:

    I have the same old “What’s up?” and “What’s new?”. I can see there are many other more useful ways to be learnt and borrowed! Thanks, y’all. 🙂

  • Brigitte says:

    I was wondering how I can do this in daily life, as I don’t speak English often. The greetings in Spanish are pretty neutral — like ‘how is it going?’ ‘how are you?’ ‘what is it?’.
    But then I realize that ‘Good Morning’ (and its siblings Good Night, Good Afternoon, Good Day) are a pretty nice way to say hello, don’t you think? 🙂 If you say ‘good morning’, you’re already preparing yourself to have a good… morning. 😀

  • Nat Couropmitree says:

    I like to ask, “What’s good in your world?” or simply, “What’s good?”
    I find that it gets people to stop and think because that’s not usually where their focus is.
    Another great post, as always, Jeannette!

  • Suzie Cheel says:

    I too love Seth’s blog. I have just started reading Linchpin and that also looks like there ate more echoes of LOA. I love
    Highlighting what’s working helps you make that happen more often.
    Perfect is overrated. Perfect doesn’t scale, either.
    Just listening to the video had me both laughing and smiling too, thanks for sharing that- I am currently doing a big letting go/ decluttering of my past as it does both stop you and also the abundance flowing in.
    I love your Father’s question: I really like that and I know it will stop people in their tracks- what a great way to have a brain shift.
    I know when I reply to people who ask how I am and I say great, happy etc that can be a conversation shifter too.
    I love Debra’s response and the looking forward notion
    Today I am in my habitually happy mode
    Thanks for another thought provoking post

  • Flavia says:

    I learned from a lady who came to our abe meetup to ask more specifically, like “Hi! Wht’s new and good with you?”, so they know what I’m interested in hearing.
    And even so some people will sneak some unwanted things in there but mostly they will answer with a matching response:)
    As far as me answering I always love to use a good feeling word like, “fantastic”, “marvelous”,”fabulous” or just “really good” but said extra yummy and heartfelt. I love seeing “non loa/you create your own reality savy” people’s reactions to that because they don’t expect it. hi hi
    I have noticed though that I tend to asnwer with something I enjoy or have enjoyed and not so much future related things. I might mention something I look forward to in the conversation when I feel it’s the right moment. And since I hang out with a lot of abers, it’s not a problem.

  • Debra says:

    I like to ask, What’s going groovy? Gets a smile every time. 🙂
    If I happen to say, What’s up? …and get a less than groovy story I respond exactly as Toemaas does. I invite them to give their story a new spin that will feel better and create a reality they’d rather have. They look a little stunned at first…and then, they generally see the brightness of the idea. The next time they see me, they’re prepared and they give me the good stuff.
    I’m known as the Good News Girl by many, so most who know me know that Good News is my chosen focus and they meet me there, on the sunny side. Whether or not they’re there all the time, it’s all good…some time on the sunny side always creates more! 🙂
    When people ask me how I’m doing I absolutely answer with my usual JOYful self & tell them like it is…and how it’s going to be…great and always getting better.
    Have I found a way to focus on the future without sounding wacky? Hm. I’m pretty sure those who know me appreciate *and expect* a certain level of wackiness, so no worries there! LOL Besides, time/shime. Future? It’s right here, right now.
    Here’s to looking forward, thinking forward and being forward. w00t!! 🙂
    I LOVE Seth. Mark & I have long appreciated him and his way of sharing. Honestly, I think Seth is one of the best examples of living the LOA there is without even giving it a (blatant) thought or labeling LOA as such when he shares his ‘stuff’. Dig it!
    Thanks Jeannette!! Great post, as always!! XO 🙂
    PS~ Your answer to Dad, “the same” is most likely perfect…as ‘the same’ for you is likely awesomely forward thinking/doing/being and focusing on the good stuff!

  • Toemaas says:

    Seth is good, And I saw this post as I was loading a new app for my iPad called blog shelf, and loaded your blog right after mine. I like using when people ask me how I’m doing as an opportunity to be deliberate in checking where I am, and most of the time , I answer “outstanding”. But there are times, when I think, ooh, not where I want to be and Bam, I move back into alignment.
    I like asking people what their story is too, invariably it’s a good one, but if not, I tell them to start a new one or turn the page……They tend to be a little taken aback when I ask, “what’s the story your telling?”, but they get used to it…….I think I got that from you!!!!
    Do you still do your good news forum on yahoo? That was good news!!

  • I’ll share first that when I’m paying attention and feeling a conscious nudge to focus in a way that feels better, my favorite “greeting” question is “What’s the good news?”
    (Got that one from dad long before I knew what a helpful habit it was!)
    Or sometimes I’ll ask, “What good stuff have you been up to?”
    But even as I was writing this dad called and asked what I was doing. Even with this subject in the forefront of my mind, I answered, “The same.”
    Sheesh! lol

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