How I Learned Resistance Is Futile

I intend this story about the futility of resisting what we don’t want inspires you to engage your creative powers better than I did a few years back …

After nearly five years of marriage, I divorced in the 90s. While it was a mostly amicable divorce, I knew I never wanted to do it again.

It just wasn’t my idea of a good time – lawyers, judges, court fees, strangers in my personal business. Not super fun.

So it’s a simple fix to avoid that, right? Just don’t get married again.

Surely that would work, right?


Because what we resist persists.

And when we have a strong charge on something, whether wanted or unwanted, it’s a beacon requiring it to manifest. No matter how “impossible” it might seem. No matter what action we take to guarantee the opposite.

I would have sworn that no way could I get divorced again when I refused to marry! That just couldn’t happen.

But … a couple years ago during a less than fabulous breakup with a live-in co-mortgagee boyfriend, when we were not in agreement about who should stay and who should go, he threatened that his divorce attorney said a judge would force the sale of the house if we couldn’t agree.

“Your divorce attorney?!” I couldn’t believe my ears.

He hired an attorney?! I was stunned.

And no, we did not meet the qualifications for a common law marriage (I’d made certain of that over the years), so there should not have been any blankety-blank attorneys involved.

And yet, there they were.

Because when he said that, I got over myself and hired one, too.

My attorney confirmed a judge would never rule that. He also said a judge wouldn’t see us to begin with since we weren’t married. We would have to file mutual consent to be treated as a married couple, in which case I would be eligible to receive half his retirement account.

So I told my ex he needed a new attorney because he was getting terrible advice that could be very costly if he pursued this line.

Which was my ex’s turn to be horrified at the mention of a divorce attorney. He was furious I’d hired one. (Maybe he thought I’d rely on my LOA powers to manifest my way out of this without legal counsel. Except he didn’t know the powerful match I was to a divorce by attempting to avoid one all these years.)

Anyway, it turned out that my ex’s “attorney” was just a friend on the golf course he talked to during a game one afternoon. He hadn’t actually hired anyone who knew what they were doing.

But I had.

So there I was – a girl so intent on never divorcing again that she sworn off marriage, going through another divorce with another attorney.

Resistance is futile.

This applies to any subject we have a strong charge about …

My mom thought to avoid the heartbreak of losing a dog by refusing to adopt another one. And yet, she’s grown quite close to my pit bull Joe, so I suspect that plan is already foiled. (Can’t blame her, everyone loves Joe. He’s the best dog ever!)

Another friend thought to avoid the heartbreak of losing a beloved pet to illness by getting a purebred next time around. That’s a questionable plan even without considering law of attraction.

Whatever we’re strongly intent on avoiding – whether tax audits, cancer, theft, getting fired, crime, traumatic accidents – whatever we have a strong charge on and are intent on avoiding – word to the wise is to soften that energy. Because it’s a strong signal that plucks exactly what we don’t want straight from the ethers. With our name on it.

I don’t mean to sound scary or ominous about this. I’m just saying, divorce isn’t that bad – and neither is whatever you really don’t want. Even if it was, it doesn’t work to push against it.

Making peace or getting neutral about it – and putting energy into what you do want – is a much better plan for skipping the experience.

The good news is I learned to love divorce attorneys that last go-round. (Seriously, they rock! Mitch Olsen Jr renewed my faith in attorneys. He was all about smoothing things out, being fair, skipping court and saving money. Really great guy!)

Plus I learned the power of my focus even better than I understood it before. I learned how to make peace with things I didn’t think I could be peaceful with.

I was also reminded that my best approach, rather than taking action in an attempt to guarantee what I want, is to find a way to feel better and let Universe work it out.

The next time you think you can outsmart law of attraction through action, please remember me and my second divorce that should not have been. Vibration trumps action every time.

In fact, here’s more manifesting inspiration from this story – the next time you wonder whether Universe can do impossible things, just think of my divorce without being married. It can do all sorts of things you don’t see a way for! lol

  • November 7, 2015
  • Brian says:

    ”… divorce isn’t that bad…”

    There’s no reason divorce can’t be celebrated in love and joy the same way as marriage.

    Celebration of freedom, ha ha.
    Celebration of opening yourself up to more opportunities and people to love.
    Celebration of beautiful contrast and clarity of what you want.

  • Kelley says:

    This story is so hysterically funny and authentic – thanks ever so much for sharing Jeannette. Abraham-Hicks often states we can’t learn from another’s experience; it is only through our own experience that anything can be truly absorbed. But after reading this I’m not so sure you haven’t taught me a whole lot! Of course, it’s up to me to apply it in my own life but thanks again Jeannette-I’m still laughing.

  • Heather says:

    Hi Jeannette, thank you for sharing this personal story.
    It is so valuable.
    I totally understand your point ‘resistance Is futile.’
    But this maybe an unsolicited coaching so feel free to disregard it. 🙂
    You don’t mention about the heartbreak that is involved in this, (which I believe it is better to be repaired than leaving untouched and swearing not to experience it again) except for your mom’s and friend’s experience.
    And that made me wondered, ALL resistance might come out because of heartbreaks and it is better to repair them before we decide about any action or no action.
    Or maybe even when we feel any resistance to anything good and desirable and valuable.
    This was my insight and aha from this article.
    Thank you so much again for a wonderful article.

    • Jeannette says:

      Heartbreak was not what I experienced in my divorce (it was more like relief), but I get why one might assume that. (We were great friends, just not wired to be lovers, and our friendship continued for many years after the divorce. To this day one of my bffs is the girl he started seeing after we divorced. Hi Carol!) It really was the process of divorce itself, not a breakup, that I was resisting.

  • Susann says:

    I’ve been laughing over something all day that is the perfect example of this, Jeannette. I hate having to listen to other people’s loud music, so (of course) the kid across the street bought himself a gigantic stereo system a month ago & I (along with everyone else on this street) have been miserable ever since. I’ve been practicing LOA long enough to know my angry ranting & raving about this kid’s loud, thumping music is doing nothing but making it worse, but it’s hard to vibrate love & rainbows & unicorns & acceptance when you’re being driven mad.
    But I’ve kept invoking Easy World & reminding myself that I live in a Universe where miracles happen daily — I’ve been the recipient of some astonishing examples over the past year alone — so it can perform one more easily enough and give me the peace & quiet I crave.
    Yesterday I realized that I hadn’t heard the stereo in a few days. I was talking to my neighbour, who told me it had been repossessed on Tuesday because the kid couldn’t pay for it.
    I have to admit that I (rather unkindly) started to laugh. I don’t wish ill on this kid, but obviously he’s no match whatsoever for my vibrations. In a related matter, the woman three doors down from me who used to leave her 2 big dogs outside to bark non-stop for 10 hours a day moved out 3 weeks ago (to a rural property where her dogs have tons of room). I’m starting to scare myself a little.

    • Jeannette says:

      Oh, our neighbors give us such good practice, don’t they, Susann?! lol I wrote about mine before:
      But I guess it’s not just neighbors – family, co-workers, love interests. Sheesh, I guess the opportunities to get better at this are everywhere. ha
      I’ve noticed before that if I don’t create a new “default” vibration – even if I solve one particular “issue” it just gets replaced with a new one if I haven’t really nailed a new vibrational setting for myself.
      Here’s to working your magic with the music like you did the dogs – and this time letting it stick! 🙂

      • Susann says:

        Jeannette, I used a couple of articles you wrote about transcending the “bad neighbour” vibe to get my head where it needed to be on this, with many thanks! And I’m working hard to get the kinks out of that “noisy neighbourhood” thing I seem to have had going on for years. Got rid of the barking dogs (in a way that was great for them), got rid of the loud stereo, & suddenly there’s a road closure down the way & we’re getting massive amounts of LOUD heavy truck traffic. I’d be crying if I weren’t laughing! I obviously have a kink in my vibe somewhere & the Universe is indeed giving me plenty of opportunity to work it out.

        • Heather says:

          Wow!!! Here is another opportunity to practice what you marveled at before!
          But may I ask? Do you LOVE your home? Or do you have another vision about another dream home? Just curious?

        • Anonymous says:

          Heather, I LOVE my home & the neighbourhood I live it. The noise “problem” is just one I unfailingly bring with me where ever I live. I’ll move in with the underlying worry — “oh, wow, I sure hope this place is qoing to be really quiet because I hate noise” — & within days the Universe comes through just as unfailingly & I’m all: “OMG, what’s all that noise??” It’s just that this year, finally, I have decided to get the kinks out of my vibe about it once and for all! [BTW, I couldn’t figure out how to reply to you, so replied to myself, which is kind of odd.]

        • Susann says:

          Heather, I LOVE my home & the neighbourhood I live it. The noise “problem” is just one I unfailingly bring with me where ever I live. I’ll move in with the underlying worry — “oh, wow, I sure hope this place is qoing to be really quiet because I hate noise” — & within days the Universe comes through just as unfailingly & I’m all: “OMG, what’s all that noise??” It’s just that this year, finally, I have decided to get the kinks out of my vibe about it once and for all! [BTW, I couldn’t figure out how to reply to you, so replied to myself, which is kind of odd.]

        • Susann says:

          Twice, apparently. Geez . . . .

    • Dee says:

      Susan,I’m a firm believer in confronting someone if they’re invading my peace. For example, my next door neighbor, with whom I’ve always had a great relationship with (he’s elderly), had his son and his son’t dog living with him a few years ago. His dog was kept in the garage and he barked at everything all night long. I confronted my neighbor peacefully and he was the one that got defensive but I didn’t care. Guess what? The dog stopped barking. Sometimes we need to be assertive with others. All I know is, my home is my sanctuary and the vibration that I put out is one of peace and it’s funny. Any time I’ve had to speak up, it always works out. Also, you might have a noise ordinance in your county. NO ONE should have to put up with barking dogs 10 hourrs/day That’s ridiculous. Maybe the lesson you’re supposed to learn is to be more assertive?

      • Susann says:

        Oh, honey, trust me — I have no problem with my assertiveness! LOL! I talked with the dog owner twice, which was a feat unto itself as she’d turned her place into a fortress, when no one else in the neighbourhood would because they were afraid of her (and her dogs). And I’ve spoken with both the kid with the loud stereo *and* his mother. I agree with you that direct action trumps sitting seething in quiet, but I also believe LOA trumps both. The dog owner moved (oproviding her dogs a much better environment) after a 40 signature petition (with a stack of ‘bark logs’) went to City Hall (I had nothing to do with this; it was an apartment building full of irate seniors across the back lane from her). We definitely have a noise Bylaw, she was fined $500 the first time & $100 for every complaint thereafter. But fighting with this woman, who was very defensive & aggressive, wouldn’t have helped anyone. Or the dogs. My “problem” isn’t with lack of assertiveness, it’s a reoccuring “issue” I’ve had for many years — I move into a new place concerned about “noise” & guess what: the Universe brings it to me. I’ve recognized it for some time but am only now really working on releasing it & changing MY vibe, which is what it’s all about. I think I’m finally making headway.

    • Elle says:

      Wow, such wonderful stories! I’m working on the neighbor vibe myself. It’s really hard to feel good when you are pissed off with their noise, but getting into a better feeling place with the use of noise-silencing headphones sure works! The trick is maintaining that vibration. Thank you!

  • anonymous says:

    Hey Jeannette,
    I love the way you state so clearly, “vibration trumps action”. 🙂 There are many other LOA authors who stress how you have to take action, put in effort, work hard…but I like how you focus on vibration. This story is a great reminder that even when something seems impossible, the Universe can make it happen! We just have to be aligned. 🙂
    I notice, particularly for “little” things, if I set them aside for a while and turn the problem over to the Universe, an easy solution comes!

    • Jeannette says:

      Yeah, you can’t live out a story like that and still think that action matters most. lol
      Yay for letting easy solutions come by setting them aside! I think lots of readers will resonate with the success of that approach for the “little” things especially. 🙂

  • I was so intrigued by your story. Thanks so much for sharing!
    I am loving in particular your unique take on why we, as you stated, need to soften that energy (what we have a strong charge on).
    Now to just find a way to feel better and let the Universe work it out.
    I’m thinking I need to get my Universal Manager’s list out again! Situations and things seem to fall off the list without me lending a hand!
    Thanks for the refresher!

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