June 23, 2010

Q&A: How to Get Happy & Shiny?

Since you all inspired this question from this sweet soul, I thought you would be best suited to reply to this reader’s question:
The Situation:
“I work at a job that I loathe. I dislike my boss, and I am unmotivated. I get headaches quite often when I’m here. I dread getting up in the mornings, and I feel out of alignment with my life’s passions.
“I read the comments on your blog and I see these ‘happy, shiny people.’ I want to be a ‘happy, shiny person’ and pursue my dreams. I know what I want out of life, all I need is a better paying job where I am happy. And also, some more money would be handy.
“I read your blogs, and they’re wonderful, but I feel so ‘disconnected.’ I do affirmations and it feels like everything getsย worse and it overwhelms me. I think there may be self sabotage programming at play.
“I feel like my spirit is telling me to resign, but I am afraid that I won’t have the money. Also, there is nobody that I can ask for cash.”
The Question:
How to support this tired spirit?
In fact, who here used to live like this, and transformed their experience to be “happy & shiny”? ย What thoughts, resources or actions served you best to get you from out of alignment and into happy days?
Thanks in advance for your words of wisdom for this searching spirit.

  • Thank you, everyone, for sharing such helpful answers here!
    Today I got an email from our questioner thanking you all for your help, saying your advice offered much comfort.

  • Barb says:

    We all know that Universe likes (and requires) action. I was in the same situation in the past and I think it’s very important to know your purpose and decide what you actually want to do. Once you’re clear about that, once you get excited about the new venture, and once you decide that you will make it no matter how hard it is or how much time it takes, people and resources will just start flowing into your life. I know it’s hard to focus on what we do want when we’re surrounded by things we don’t want, and our subconscious mind can play very nasty tricks. But it’s important to realize that we are in control of our thoughts and emotions – or can be when we choose to. It’s your choice to choose!

  • Beth says:

    I have been in this same situation – knew I needed to try to appreciate the positive to move away from the negative but was overwhelmed with emotions and unable to do so. At the time I learned Emotional Freedom Therapy (acupressure coupled with healing affirmations) from a coach I was working with. This simple and free technique enabled me to physically let go of my hurt when I emotionally thought I couldn’t. It worked quickly to help me release and then be able to focus on manifesting a wonderful new job. If you google EFT you will find many free resources.

  • Curious One says:

    Look what the Universe sent! Felt inspired to clean out a bag of stuff in my closet and opened a small magazine right on the page for the ad for the book ‘Seeing Good at Work’ and giggled at the perfect timing given the topic. Thank you Life for always answering!
    Jeannette – you can decide if you want to share this with the rest of the GVU members!

  • gemstone says:

    Late to the party on this. I’ve been in a similar situation before. I handled my vibration differently and manifested two different outcomes.
    The first time I found myself in a similar situation, I felt powerless, and was so affected by my disempowerment, that I manifested getting fired! As soon as I left, the migraines stopped. However, I did really like my job, just not the boss lady! For me, this was not a good resolution to my story.
    The second time I found myself in your situation, I did as Jeannette and others here have recommended. I made myself really stop and think about my feelings regarding the situation. What was I grateful for? What did I like about my boss? Instead of focusing on all the things I didn’t want, I really focused on what I did want (And that surprisingly was difficult to do). Thoughts are just thoughts. I can change them at any time I want to. I had the ability to create my own story– so I did. Three days after doing this, my job duties were amended, and I no longer had to report to this woman!
    Now knowing this works, I’m much more open to the possibilities of being hopeful about my future and feeling really empowered in the situation, than be fearful and feeling like everyone has power over my life except me.

  • Oh, oh, pick me!! I see you already have SO many fabulous and thoughtful answers here, but I couldn’t resist, because ‘happy and shiny’ is EXACTLY what I am, and I used to be anything but. I struggled with my sanity in a job I LOATHED, even though everyone around me thought, by appearances (my own great office, perks, lots of time freedom, good pay, etc.) I ‘should’ love it. Who can say what makes you happy or miserable but you? And there’s the key – YOU decide, and then focus on that and keep living into it. It may take time, but you can do it.
    I am living proof that you can change it all around, and that none of us need be destined to have only a certain amount of happiness or joy – it’s ALL there for you, I promise you that. I’m so passionate and happy I’ve often thought about starting a website called ShinyHappyPeople – I kid you not…I want to encourage that in everyone, because it’s such an empowering and joyful place to be.
    I will not add further to the advice you’ve received here, then, because I suspect it’s already both extremely helpful and a little overwhelming. Just wanted to say that it IS entirely possible to bring yourself up from the depths of ‘aaargghhh’ to a truly happy, fulfilled place. From where I’m sitting, it only goes up from here, and you can have that too!
    xxoo ~ Shauna

  • Ruby says:

    One question that always helps me move forward especially in decisions that make seem exterme or different… I ask myself, ” Whats the worst that can happen?”
    And the I realize the worst is not that bad!

  • Tiffany says:

    I used to be an angsty, pissed-off teenager that couldn’t wait to get rid of this dumb town.
    Now, I’m generally chillin’ and I’m a happy,shiny person. But it didn’t happen overnight. It took me consistently looking for thoughts and actions that felt better. When all else fails, I thought “this, too, shall pass”. And tried to trudge on knowing that it’ll come to an end somehow. Sometimes, it’s not about jumping from tarnished to shiny. Every day, you have to go back and polish your spirit just a tiiiiiny bit more. Then, one day, you’ll go back to polish and it won’t be necessary: you’ll gleam like the best of us!

  • Carol says:

    Today’s “Daily Inspiration from Alan Cohen” is:
    Sometimes when things seem to be going wrong, they are going right for reasons you are yet to understand. ~Alan Cohen
    Someone said on GVU a while back that seemingly “bad” things are really a cooperative component to our manifestations. That was definitely an AHA moment for me!
    What an inspirational story, Kim! Thanks for sharing it! ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Kim Falconer says:

    The full story of Jack’s success is here. http://www.oneill.com/#/women/asiapacific/company/
    PS I had a crush on Pat O’Neill when I was 9 ๐Ÿ™‚ You’ve really brought back memories, Jennifer! And so inspiring!

  • Kim Falconer says:

    These comments are rocking! David, that bounce back metaphor is brilliant. Thank you. And Areed, so true. Some ppl would just love to have a job, no matter what. As Jeannette says, wherever we are in our lives, there’s someone else in the world that would love to change places with us!
    Oh, Jennifer, that man in California you mentioned? He was a close friend of my dad’s. He started out with nothing, just a love of the ocean and a few good ideas. He worked from a shack in front of the Santa Cruz fisherman’s wharf. He shaped surfboards in the 60’s and then invented the seal seam wetsuit (because that water is cold and there weren’t proper wetsuits for surfers yet!).
    And he’s not just number one in California. He’s number one in the world. His name is Jack O’Neill.

  • Laura says:

    Oh, I can so relate..have been in this situation more times than I’d like to count (so I won’t!).
    I tried different ways of dealing with this until I got the best advice from a call with The Communion of Light. I was in a job about a year ago that I was unhappy in, felt unappreciated, isolated and basically that I was being jerked around. What they told me (and I realize that this basically has been stated above) is that I needed to find a way to make peace with where I was, or I would just take “myself” and that vibration with me to the next place, job…whatever. Find a way to love the isolation (that is exactly what they told me) and if I was no longer a vibrational match to that job, either I would get to that place where I would leave, OR, they might even ask me to leave. I did feel so out of alignment with the people I was working with that I could feel something was happening. They did let me go (it was really not a good fit) and I felt so relieved.
    So, the key that I took away from all that way to figure out what I WAS in alignment with. As Kim stated above, you cannot pretend to be enjoying something you are not and instead I got very clear and decided to focus on my coaching full time as that was what I was in alignment with, 100%.
    Prior to that experience, in other jobs I sometimes found it very difficult to find any positve aspects other than I was employed. I can remember being so stressed out and miserable (and got very sick) that my most effective way of dealing with it was this:
    This is temporary, it is not the rest of your life. Set an intention each day to have the best possible experience you can have and know that you are creating the next job. I would write down all the things I didn’t like about the job and then immediately flip them and write what I did want (gotta lova that contrast!). The most important thing for me was how I wanted to feel when I was at work. Was I in an office? A store? Who was I working with? Etc.
    Once I really got clear on that, it was only a matter of time (and usually not very long) before that next more desirable job materialized. Using the current situation to get clear on what you want next really is a gift.

  • What a fabulous compilation of responses! You people rock!
    Here’s my quick take on it.
    1 – Look at what’s right about the job. Make a list if you like. Focus on the positive. Think about what you’d have if you had the “right” job and then figure out how you have it now.
    2 – Bring what you love into the job where possible – put up photos of people you love, listen to music if possible, whatever makes it more pleasurable to be there.
    3 – Find your joy outside of the job – pursue what you love in other areas of life and make those your priority so you are enjoying life as much as possible. Your job is just a J.O.B. Your passion is your life.
    4 – Before you just up and quit, hire a coach if need be, and explore what this situation is teaching you. My hunch is you have something to learn. Circumstances do not dictate how we feel, our thoughts do. If you are feeling so painfully unhappy, there’s something going on inside that’s perpetuating those feelings. This is your big opportunity to use your situation as a catalyst into a life as a shiny, happy person. If you simply change jobs to escape the pain, you are selling yourself short and denying yourself the chance to learn about what may be steering you into a life further and further away from the shiny happy world. Be willing to go inside and learn about you. You are fabulous, wonderful, and precious – you just gotta clear out the crap that keeps you shackled to a less than blissful life. Set that soul free!

  • Monica says:

    BLESS YOU, Tired Soul, (and Jeannette for posting the question) because answering this post has made things gel for me today in a remarkable way! It is completely clear now that I can thrive in ANY conditions! Woo hoo! ๐Ÿ˜€

  • Monica says:

    Well, I see that most people have had the awful job, lol!
    I can report from the other side also, because I had a great job and I STILL wasn’t happy. I had the money, respect, intellectual stimulation, the best co-workers, wide-open potential, everything a job could be.
    The take away is that external conditions do not make you happy. Most of the people here who are happy and shiny (and I include myself) made a DECISION that they were going to be happy NO MATTER WHAT the conditions of their lives are.
    You are in a great position right now to really get your manifesting game in gear. If you can get yourself happy now, you will be in a great position for the future.
    BLESS your job and your ratty boss for helping you to clarify your desires. Spend as little time as possible focusing on what you don’t want, and as much time as possible looking for things you like and appreciate.
    Speaking as someone who has done her share of interviewing and hiring staff, I can tell you that unhappiness and desperation are clear on the faces of some candidates, and those are not the people that get hired. Clean up your vibe first, and the logjam will clear.
    The NFTU today seemed to speak to your question. Self-love is a great first step, as Curious One also said. If you haven’t tried Jeannette’s product, I recommend it, it helped me release a fair bit of resistance on the subject.
    It does not have to be hard, or a long process. Just make the decision to do it.

  • Yay for sharing free resources, Curious One!!
    And for putting a nice spotlight on the love and support that’s flowing here for our job-challenged reader.
    It is palpable.

  • Curious One says:

    From the camp of “been there, done that”…as much as I love the Abraham material (and as much as it has helped) I had a challenge with the ‘just feel good’ part as I had so much heartache inside that I couldn’t get my mind wrapped around that some days, let alone feel it!
    Because I knew about LOA I never wanted to deal with some painful childhood issues…I’m not suggesting you head to therapy or dig up whats wrong and yet, for me, it wasn’t until I gave my inner child some love that things really changed for me.
    I had tried traditional therapy several times and got to the point that I just thought I signed up for a life of misery and that my brain wiring was defective because I just could not get feeling good on a regular basis. It was like my ‘default drive’ was hardwired for negativity. There was a lot of abuse and trauma in my early years and absent parents until my brother and I ended up in different homes.
    Basically, I had to go back and give myself the love I never got growing up. Jeannette asked for suggestions on tools or resources and some things that helped me the most are ‘Healing Your Aloneness: Finding Love and Wholeness Through Your Inner Child’ by Erika Chopich and Margaret Paul. (They have a free 7-day email course that will get you started on what they teach). In fact in ‘Do I have to Give Up ME to be Loved by God?” Margaret Paul even talks about connecting with your Guide(s) and raising your frequency through love to attract what you want. The other material that I highly recommend is anything by Louise Hay (she has a free blog and resources as well). I believe Louise Hay was so much help because her loving voice parented me in a way that I’d never really received from either of mine.
    When you begin to believe that the Universe is a friendly and loving place, and that you are worthy of having what you want, you will be able to move into the exercises that all these wonderful posts have suggested to ‘feel happy’ :o)
    My heart goes out to you and I hope that you have recognized clearly from these posts how very much loved and supported you are.

  • This is why I love you, Michele.
    And why every time someone approaches me for work on their career, I tell them they must talk to you before they retain ANY coach.
    Thanks, girlfriend.

  • When I have clients in this situation, I work with them to reconnect with Self. Often when we loathe our work, loathing seeps over into loathing ourselves. This never-ending spiral is… never-ending.
    So, darling, how about reconnecting with the best things about you?
    What do you love? Art, music, conversation, gardening, books, learning? Do some of what you love every day.
    What do you miss? Connection, the things you love, people? Create that in your life every day.
    What are your values? Your values are the things that you hold dear – your beliefs, your morals, your ideals, your spirit. Are you serving these values daily?
    Check yourself, correct yourself, and get into alignment with the best of you and you may find that work doesn’t matter as much.
    Just a note: some of us get way out of balance in terms of our work. Work becomes all. That results in an out-sized reaction to a normal glitch or a hitch in work. It’s my perspective that we need to “care less” about work. ๐Ÿ™‚ We need to detach, yet still be a person of integrity and purpose. Subtract the over reliance on work to determine self-worth, and you end up with an aligned life.
    Good luck. Please let me know if I can help.
    — Michele

  • Visionary Fairy, your love comes through loud and clear in your post.
    Can I just take this moment to say that the Good Vibe Community is THE absolute BEST?!
    Sure love you guys.
    And Breathing! Ahhhh … great reminder!! You’re right about how it’s underrated AND supremely powerful for creating a stronger connection.
    Thanks, VF. ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • The first thing I’d like that wonderful soul to know is that nearly every single one of us has been there at some point. But I’ll tell you what, I don’t have the easiest time staying shiny and happy every second. I can only speak for myself here but one thing that makes me feel better when I’m not feeling that way is knowing that I am not alone. We are all human and part of our process is to experience what you are going through. It is very overwhelming.
    But as Iyabo said, “One of the things that we all have to learn is that this level of unhappiness is a communication: It is language that is telling us something. It is pointing us to an internal shift โ€“ not an external shift.”
    This is your chance to really understand what is next for you. This is the moment you are ready to choose what you’d like to experience next.
    From your message it looks like you are actually in an AMAZING place to begin. You don’t think so?
    1. You feel out of alignment with your life’s passions, which means you KNOW what your passions are, right? Sit down and make a list if you need to remind yourself. I’m pretty sure you already know though.
    2. You say:
    “I know what I want out of life, all I need is a better paying job where I am happy. And also, some more money would be handy.”
    As you remind yourself your passions in step 1 above, don’t forget to be specific about what type of better paying job you can imagine yourself being happy in. It seems as though money is important in this process and we can all understand that, but I’d be interested to hear about what other things would make you happy at your perfect new job. What awesome skills/talents are you able to be recognized for there? What will you DO, how does that FEEL? What types of people work with you?
    3. You are suspecting that you are sabotaging yourself, which means that you probably are. That’s actually awesome! It’s awesome that you KNOW that you are doing it. Now you can choose to begin to change those patterns! You have already begun with your affirmations.
    Changing these patterns won’t happen over night for everything but you’d be surprised at just how many do! Seriously! But also be mindful of allowing yourself to really FEEL what you are fearing, and remember this oldie but goodie for help:
    I don’t know that this is the right time to just resign….but if you spend some quality time with those 3 things, I imagine you will start to feel better. You will know when the time is right to make a change, just as you knew this was the right time to ask for help.
    And just know that you might not feel shiny and happy every second, or every day. I certainly don’t. Now I obviously love spending time reading this blog and it’s wonderful comments all the time, but I definitely feel it is most helpful when I am not quite feelin’ the shine like I’d like.
    As you are using the steps above to get clear about what you want, spending some time feeling how great that is feeling, and catching yourself mid-sabotage and beginning to change those thought patterns…stop by here and lift your vibe! Ask questions… Lift your vibe… and breathe.
    (Seriously…very underrated and taken for granted. It’s an instant alignment/connection tool!)
    Shiny and Happy with a chance of “meh”,
    Visionary Fairy

  • Debbie Lattuga says:

    This is my no-fail vibration adjuster. Dance!! No kidding. Dance! Dance around your house, dance in the kitchen, do a little wiggle down the hallway at work.
    There is no way you can dance and feel badly. Or sing. Really belt it out. (probably not so good at work)
    Promise yourself you’ll dance as often as possible.

  • Yay for dancing, Debbie! I’ve found it a big vibe-lifter, too.
    Although there are times when I have to put the music on before I feel the mood to dance along.
    But it works like a charm!!
    Thanks for pitching in, Debbie. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Karanime says:

    Perhaps do something insane, like quitting the job without knowing what will happen next.
    The process of summoning this courage may put her in the right vibe anyway. ๐Ÿ˜›

  • Ande says:

    I don’t have the job issue–but I have other issues that are actually more serious from a survival perspective anyway. The vast majority of my “what is” reality is pretty sucky (from the usual evaluative standard). BUT I find the happy and shiny place much of the day by relentlessly looking for something to appreciate.
    Affirmations are useless to me. It’s not the words; it’s the feeling that counts.
    To shift my feeling place when it’s not what I want it to be, I also use what I call an “about face” technique where I stop and deliberately relax my face muscles by widening my eyes and mouth and then consciously relaxing all the muscles in my face. When I do this at night, it launches me immediately into an aligned sleep. When I do it during the day, for some reason, it always gives me access to an aligned thought. I have no idea why.
    The only reason we don’t find happy and shiny is because we have all our attention on dark and dismal.
    I think the reason happy, shiny people are often annoying to people who have the kind of issues you’re talking about here is that it can be frustrating to listen to a perky person who has it all going on. What helps me is hearing from someone who is finding joy in the midst of the yuck. I am such a person. It is possible to be happy when physical reality isn’t as you want it to be.
    And then we must stay or keep returning to that place because it’s only from there that our physical reality will improve.

  • Karanime, that’s basically what my coach threatened me with when I was hating my job!
    She said if you can’t find a way to enjoy it, then you must quit it!
    I think it was more of a threat that she didn’t really expect me to follow through on, but I chose QUITTING!
    I was miserable enough to have some insanity going for me, and I did! Set a resignation date three months out, quit before the date rolled around, which gave me a new platform to work with vibrationally.
    Really made all the difference for me.
    (Although I DID have a very strong idea about what I wanted to and would do next.)
    So, of course, it’s easy for me to see the brilliance in your suggestion.
    Thanks for popping in here with it!

  • My hero, Ande: “relentlessly looking for something to appreciate”!!
    LOVE that!!
    Enjoyed the rest of your post, too.
    Which made me think … it’s worth noting that even happy and shiny people have their share of dark and dismal moments (days/weeks), too. It isn’t that all of a sudden the switch is flipped and we’ve got a whole new outlook.
    But rather it’s about purposely managing the contrast and finding the balance we’re comfortable with. (Because I know some people tolerate lots more dark and dismal than others before they get it turned around.)
    So while I like being thought of as happy and shiny (although I’m not saying our reader necessarily included me in that group) anyone who follows me online knows I have my share of “f*** it” moments. Which makes the happy and shiny moments that much better.
    Thanks for weighing in on this one, Ande!

  • Thanks for those resources, Carol!

  • Carol says:

    I think we’ve all been where the questioner is on some subject in our lives. When I read “Glory in the Highest” from Pronoia, it gave me a different perspective on how good life really is (we take so much for granted!). Here is a link to it: http://www.freewillastrology.com/beauty/beauty.main139.shtml
    I also highly recommend “Why Your Life Sucks And What You Can Do About It” by Alan Cohen. He doesn’t pull any punches!
    There is so much wisdom in this community . . . thank you all so much! ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Kati says:

    Jennifer T, you just reminded me of something that Abraham has said:
    “If you could do the one thing that you’re loving doing and if you could just resist the temptation of feeling bad about the things you can’t do, and you are just loving the thing you are doing.. In your love of what you are doing you come into alignment with who you really are and then YOU GET ALL THE THINGS YOU WANT!”
    P.S. Great comments everybody! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • I LOVE stories like that, Jennifer!

  • Jennifer T says:

    Just one more thing… Dr. Deepak Chopra said in one of his seminars… “do what you love, and the money will flow.”… and, even if you can’t quit your job right this instant; if you can take a hobby that you adore, and put some intent/energy behind it… it could turn into something much more than a hobby…
    True story: there was a man (wish I could remember his name) in California (years ago) who like to work on people’s surf boards in his spare time, in his garage. Well, he took such joy from it, that he ended up opening the MOST SUCCESSFUL surf shop in all of his area… maybe even all of California!!! (wish I would have kept the article!!!)… but, it just goes to show you that your inspiration (regardless of what it is) is there for a reason… and if you haven’t been inspired for quite some time, try looking back to what used to inspire you before you got in this rut.
    Best of luck and wishes to you ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Kati, I can feel the power of that conviction when you decided: “THIS SITUATION IS GONNA CHANGE!”
    I’m laughing about the benefits that we might not otherwise experience once we really KNOW we aren’t going to be here much longer. lol
    Lots of wisdom here in your post – I especially like the relax and do your thing tips.
    Thanks for sharing the ins and outs of your experience, Kati!

  • Kati says:

    Hehe.. An other topic for me! ๐Ÿ™‚
    I was there: job I hated, not enough money, unhappy with my life… I know it’s a dark place to be..
    I was pursuing a career path I was told that was good for me and will get me far in life, but somehow the more I focused on my work, the more stuck and dissatisfied I felt. And I didn’t see any other options either.. What we focus upon, we get more of, right!? So, I started to feel worse and worse about a lot of other subjects too..
    Same like with the money thing (from previous post), my journey to happy’n’shiny started with a decision:
    And just by deciding that, I felt a huge rush of relief coming over me! Since I had no clue what so ever HOW I could change my life for the better, I made an other very important decision:
    It felt good to look around for other jobs. It felt good to talk about me leaving my job. It felt good to think about what other possibilities are waiting for me out there. It even felt good to stand up to my boss (very unpleasant person), because at the same time I was thinking that I will leave soon anyway and this gave me the feeling of freedom! It felt good to go for a walk on the beach. It felt good to have coffee with my flatmate and talk about how we are gonna keep in touch after I have left.. – Everything that felt good, I did! And I actually started to enjoy where I was! Ofc, I always kept in mind that things are gonna change soon! ๐Ÿ˜‰
    And then, out of the blue I got a job offer to my email, offering me to go abroad to Norway to work in a hotel AND A LOT MORE MONEY TOO! It might not be a great job choice for many, but the thing with me was that I had been obsessed with hotels since I was a little child (we travelled a lot with my family) – I loved them and I had been dreaming about working in one! The other thing: For some reason I had always wanted to go working abroad for a while and Norway had always been on the top of my list! So, for ME, this was too good to be true!!
    I went to the interview (during my lunchbreak) and I got the job and everything happened very fast after that, but to sum it up:
    I spent 5 great years in Norway (and Spain), working in hotels and meeting a lot of cool people! MY LIFE CHANGED COMPLETELY and since then I have been a happyone! ๐Ÿ˜‰
    So, my advice: Allow yourself to breathe, to relax, to do your thing- what ever gets you smiling! Think about what you would like to do instead of your current job and start thinking about your current reality as temporary, as CHANGING SOON, SO YOU HAVE TO ENJOY IT WHILE YOU CAN! ๐Ÿ˜‰ That’s what I did! And I can tell you that the changes came very fast! ๐Ÿ˜‰
    When you wanna be a happy, shiny person- focus upon happy-shiny feelings! Make the best of where you are! Look for positive aspects, for the goodfeeling stuff! It is there! You just have to focus upon it more and then MORE will come to you and before you know it- life will be the way you want! ๐Ÿ˜‰
    Even Abraham says: Falling in love with what is, is the fastest way to get you where you want to be! ๐Ÿ˜‰ (And back then I didn’t know no Abraham or Jeannette yet, but I am very happy to have rendezvoused with them! ;))
    Life is a journey and you are already moving towards more happy times! Don’t look back now! ๐Ÿ˜‰
    Happy travelling! ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Yay for M&Ms as powerful vibe-shifters!! hee hee
    Seriously, I know people who are devastated when the bowl is empty – or when someone forgets the donuts or bagels for the meeting.
    It’s the little stuff we live for that can make all the difference, huh?
    I wonder if you guys (who are answering) know the vibe you’re sending out here in doing so? Generosity, compassion, support … that’s good stuff, my friends.
    And I’m flowing lots of appreciation here seeing all your posts – which is a great vibe for me, too!
    woo hoo!

  • Areed says:

    These are all great comments!
    I would just like to add that there are a lot of people out there who don’t have jobs.. or who have their dream job but are now on vacation (me) and have so much time they don’t know what to do with it.
    I am sure there are aspects of your job that you can find that you like: smiling faces, m and m’s in so and so’s jar. Maybe you could put a jar of candy on your desk- that will make you real popular, real quick! Give yourself treats through out the day: coffee breaks, a walk outside, little mini meditation. I no longer work an “office job” but let me tell you, sometimes I miss it. To get shiny and happy, it’s all about self love and watching your thoughts… always look on the bright side and when you do this, people at work will take notice and you’ll be up for a promotion in no time (or you’ll become a vibrational match to another job that is better suited for your bright and shiny vibe).

  • Yay for honoring the process, Iyabo.
    Expecting overnight turnarounds can be discouraging, huh?
    And commitment is required to embrace a new outlook. Smart girl.
    You probably already know (from the last post) how much I liked your #4 in particular.
    Thank you, Iyabo. For walking the talk and sharing your expertise with others.

  • Iyabo Asani says:

    One of the things that we all have to learn is that this level of unhappiness is a communication: It is language that is telling us something. It is pointing us to an internal shift – not an external shift.
    Yesterday, I was coaching a client and I burst out laughing as I remembered that Jeanette had coached me through the same exact thing as I was coaching this client about four years ago. I was saying the same exact words to this client as Jeanette had said to me.
    It is a process. You will get out of this funk if you are committed to do so. If you keep getting jobs you do not like, what is that about? Figure it out. Listen. Listen. Listen.
    I owned by own business and I was not a happy shiny person. Now, with another business, I am a happy shiny person. It is not the job. It is not the business. It is you getting happy with you.
    Here are some pointers:
    1. Immerse yourself in the world of the happy shiny people. Join Good Vibe University and spend time there. Take it all in. Invest your time and energy being on the calls and communicating with these other people.
    2. Commit to figuring out what makes you happy and follow those things that make you happy. Sometimes, some of us are addicted to being unhappy. Follow the happiness trail.
    3. What are your headaches telling you? You say you want to live out your passion but what is that? What steps are you taking to making that a reality?
    4. I will not tell you that money is not important. Yes, it is. To a point. All the happiness studies point to the same thing. When you are in survival mode, money brings a tremendous amount of happiness to put a roof over your head and food on the table and a certain amount of security. However, past survival mode, money increases your happiness level by 10%. And a year later, you are right back where you were. Not a whole lot huh?
    5. What are you telling yourself about your job? Your self talk is key.
    The most important thing to know is this. Your emotions are not you. They are a language that is letting you know that your thinking is not supporting your lifestyle right now.
    Listen, big hugs to you. If the affirmations are not working for you yet, do you meditate.
    Life can be good and enjoyable. I promise you. I have been where you are and I am not a Pollyana but I focused on what I really wanted and now I am truly in a very different place.
    Lots of love and a firm belief that you can create the life that you want!

  • David Michaels says:

    I was there. I hated my job. Got depressed. Couldn’t seem to get out. I couldn’t “manifest” or visualize anything better. As hard as I tried. Things got worse.
    It got so bad, I actually started crying in the car, on my way to work. It got so bad, I was willing to just “quit” and, assuming I wouldn’t find something better in time, believed I’d end up homeless and starving a month or two later. But I couldn’t keep doing this, going to that miserable, soul-extinguishing, horrible job.
    Here’s what worked for me:
    I wrote a list of all the qualities of my desired job. I started with a list of everything I hated or disliked about my current one, and wrote the opposite on my “ideal job” list. ๐Ÿ™‚ Then I added other things I knew I’d like.
    Getting to “feel” what it was like to have that job was challenging. I was so deep and so depressed in my current job, I couldn’t “fake it” long enough or well enough to actually get the manifesting process going. Instead, I actually was feeling and focusing more on how miserable my current situation was.
    What I learned to do was called a “bounce back”. Instead of trying to make myself feel better and visualize and focus on what I wanted — I did just the opposite. I allowed myself to feel all the pain and misery, and amplified that. In fact, I made it feel WORSE than it already was — for a moment. This created an emotional momentum, emotional movement, within me. Energy is easy to convert, once it’s moving. I didn’t have the strength to lift myself up from where I stood, but I did have the energy to dive deeper into the darkness. With that momentum, I intensified the pain and anxiety, and then suddenly, hit “rock bottom”. It was an emotional wall. I couldn’t feel the pain any deeper.
    That was my opportunity.
    I emotionally slammed into that bottom, took all that momentum and energy, and then “bounced back” off of it. Like bouncing a basket ball. I threw it hard against the ground, and it had the energy to bounce back up.
    Using that energy, I reversed the emotional direction. Suddenly I started feeling joy, peace, pleasure, happiness… I started focusing on what I DID want, and how it DID feel. With all that moving energy behind it, I actually got HIGHER than I could have on my own. It got my energy, my vibration, up where it needed to be.
    Now I had the vision and belief that what I wanted was possible for me. And I knew what to look for in a new job. Trusting my intuition and instinct along the way, I applied to a job that “felt like it’d be fun”. They interviewed me a few days later and offered me the job on the spot!
    It didn’t pay as well, but it paid enough. I had to move to another apartment and get a roommate, but I was totally okay with that. (I was actually tired of living alone anyway.) I quit my job immediately. (I gave no notice. I know that’s unprofessional…but I literally couldn’t go one more day. I had been there so long, I was getting suicidal at the thought of going just one more day…)
    My new job started the following week, so I took a week “off” to rest and recover a little. Some self-care time.
    I started the new job — LOVED IT — and worked there for a long time. Here’s the best part — the job including EVERYTHING on my manifestation list, even the things I didn’t/couldn’t know about before working there. One of the things on my list was to honestly say about the job: “I enjoy this job. I could do this indefinitely.” One day, a few weeks into the job, I honestly caught myself saying that.
    The boss loved me. I really enjoyed working for my manager. I had a lot of fun. Got to do cool things. And it paid the bills. My life started improving dramatically in many ways once I made that change.

  • Like I said to Lauren, David, these are the words that mean the most to me: the ones coming from someone who has walked on that path.
    And your bouncing technique is a new one for me!!
    I’m kind of interested to try that one sometime … ha
    Thanks so much for chiming in here, David.

  • Nice to know that about headaches, Kim!
    And noticing where we ARE the boss is an easy remedy.
    I was able to practice that by realizing that I really did have a choice as to whether I went to work or not. Because, in reality, I really could stay in bed. I was the one choosing to get dressed and go to work. They weren’t making me.
    Even though that’s the disempowering story I told for a while.
    Especially liked your appreciation at Ground Zero and saying YES advice. Wise words!
    Thanks for them, Kim. ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Kim Falconer says:

    What great comments from everyone. Impressive!
    A few things came to mind for me. First of all, I agree with Lauren. It’s no good pretending you like something when you don’t unless you really ‘feel’ you’re liking it. So instead of pretend,
    do as Robert and Jeniffer and just about everyone else suggests, find things you appreciate about the job and your life right now. I mean hey, you have internet access there! Yeah! That feels like freedom! And the pay’s good, yes? Spend some time noticing the perks, whatever they are.
    When you said it gives you headaches, I immediately thought, from and astrological perspective, that you need to feel like you are the boss. It’s an Aries thing — wanting to feel self directing. Headaches are a sign you aren’t calling the shots where you want to be. We all have Aries somewhere in our charts and yours might be tied in with ’employment’. If you fine-tune your appreciation to noticing where in your life you get to choose, you get to say what goes (even if it’s as simple as saying you’ll have milk in your coffee or you’ll do this task first and then that one)things start to improve. When you are in your ‘authority’ at work, stay there a little longer. Notice it and give it an extra second or so of respect.
    As you find things to appreciate about where you are right here at ground zero, doors will open!
    Also, saying YES to your own heart’s desire is a good habit to get into. Our natural state is rapture. Say YES to the things you love, even if it’s as simple as a walk in the sun, visiting a museum, reading a book with a cup of cocoa. If you follow where the little things lead, life has no choice but to accommodate you.
    I ‘resisted’ my sense of joy and bliss for a long while. It was buried deep. Part of it was, I was afraid of change. When I started noticing times I was brave and took risks and did well, it got easier to expand on that with bigger risks. I started to trust myself more, and that felt good!
    When it comes down to it, the most important thing to appreciate in life is yourself. There are some great ways to do so, all in Jeannette’s The Art of Self Love. Highly recommended!

  • Oooh, good reminder, Sonia.
    I experienced that, too. (That the best stuff came after being REALLY really low.)
    I think that’s because of all the resistance we had built up, right? That when we finally released it (or “took the bounce” as Abraham might say) it shot us into fabulous new territory.
    Good advice on the affirmations (not working with them now). Thanks for sharing your wisdom here, Sonia.

  • sonia says:

    It looks like you’re in a beautiful “bouncing off” place. The happiest times in my life always arrived after I’ve been really, I mean really down, when nothing seemed to go right.
    All you need to do now, is a tiny “letting go of the grip” and I mean really tiny, and you’ll see the shift. When the contrast is so big, releasing even a little bit produces amazing changes.
    let go of the affirmations right now, you’re not in the right mood, they will even make you feel worse. Do simple things like taking a walk in a nice surrounding, having a beer or some wine, watching a funny movie, reading a good book, and while you’re doing that, just forget about the situation for a couple of minutes, put it on hold. Enjoy the moment, even if it’s just for a minute. Do things that please as often as you can and savour them. The “bad” feelings will come back, but they’ll get weaker and weaker and things will start to happen, unexpected coincidences, serendipities, you’ll see.
    Hang in there. You’re right where you’re supposed to be on your way to where you want to go.

  • Lauren, that’s what makes you PERFECT for replying to this query! That you’ve been there and done that I personally believe makes you more qualified to advise another than any coach who was speaking from theory.
    And that “one day closer” trick worked wonders for me, too!
    Thanks for weighing in on this one, Lauren. Much appreciated!

  • Lauren says:

    Hello all!
    I am certainly not a coach ~ and Iโ€™m not sure Iโ€™d classify me as “happy” or “shiny” just yet ~ but Iโ€™ve lived this situation several times. My last two jobs ended with me on Xanax just to get through the last few months! Iโ€™m going through it again right now, although thankfully, this time itโ€™s not quite as traumatic.
    So for what itโ€™s worth, here are some thoughts from one tired but determined spirit to another:
    1) I put my foot down with the Universe: Basically I said, โ€œIโ€™m not going to take this crap any longer. I demand a clear path to a better job. Iโ€™m sick of the poverty, sick of the crap job, and I deserve and desire better. Not sure what the lesson is and I donโ€™t really care. Iโ€™m over it.โ€ Okay, so maybe thatโ€™s not the greatest vibe, haha, but it worked for me. Once I graduated to anger instead of self-pity and being an overwhelmed victim, I found the energy and drive to start co-creating. I had to get angry enough with my situation to let go of the limiting beliefs that were keeping me there. Only then could I move forward.
    2) Pray Rain Journal or scripting: Fine tunes what I really do want so I can start looking for the clues and synchronicity from the Universe to guide me in the right direction. Now when I go to the job I despise, I consider it just another way the Universe can deliver the clues to me. Iโ€™m far more likely to receive a clue or bolt of inspiration when Iโ€™m out and about rather than in bed with the covers over my head.
    3) Taking decisive and inspired action: Seriously looking and putting the word out that Iโ€™m in the market for another job. Scripting. Journaling. Losing weight so Iโ€™ll look and feel better. Taking action on what I can right now and not fretting about what I canโ€™t.
    4) Having faith that my job is coming: Desperation isnโ€™t pretty and itโ€™s certainly not efficient. I know that my job is being created ~ someone right now is planning to leave their position, or my future boss is thinking about how much he needs an assistant, or a new mother is deciding not to come back from maternity leave, etc. ~ and itโ€™s only a matter of time before I hear about it. (I admit I screwed up the first opportunity by โ€˜needingโ€™ it so badly, but I realized my mistake and now Iโ€™m practicing detachment from the outcome.)
    5) Relax: Once I had a clear, decisive vision of what I wanted, I let go and let God. I literally said, โ€œWell, the new job is coming. Iโ€™ve placed my order. I have nothing more to do except be on the lookout.โ€ (Two days later, I ran into an old boss who invited me to go with her to a few networking meetings.) Then the question is, โ€œWhatโ€™s the next logical step?โ€ There are certainly a bunch of other things I can work on while my job is finding its way to me and that is what I turned my attention to.
    6) Dealing with the unpleasant present: I am not one of those people who can go to a job I canโ€™t stand and pretend that I love it. The best way for me to get through it is to think โ€œHey, Iโ€™m one day closer to my last day here. If I leave with all my limbs intact, call it a success.โ€ I changed my schedule so I could work less, which makes it so much easier to deal with. I also try to see the โ€˜movieโ€™ while Iโ€™m living it. I practice manifesting. I take comfort in knowing that in the past, when my level of dissatisfaction reaches this point and I decide to move on, it doesnโ€™t take long for something new to come along ~ my Jabberwocky has a life span of about two months.
    7) If all else fails, thereโ€™s always Xanax.
    Iโ€™ve just recently discovered your blog, Jeannette, but I am enjoying you and your readers/commenters very much. Iโ€™m learning a bunch and rediscovering my LOA mojo and for that I thank you!
    PS: I apologize in advance if the format of this comment is wonky.

  • Aww, Toni, so glad you like that one! It’s my personal favorite! And it does do that for me, too – reminds me if I can turn that around, I can turn ANYTHING around.
    Thanks for posting, girlfriend!

  • Toni says:

    Perhaps a few good inspirational stories might help you focus on getting your vibes right and keeping them high, happy and shiny. For me Jeannette’s experience with her crackhead neighbour works every time I find myself going in the wrong direction. I mean, if she could reverse manifestations like those he represented, she can do anything – and so can you and I.

  • Well said, Suzie: “it is not a quick fix; it requires daily love.”
    We’d love a link to your post when you write that one!
    You’re reminding me of how Abraham says that affirmations don’t work unless we’re in the vortex. (At least I think that’s what Abe has said.)
    Thanks for writing in on this one, Suzie. Looking forward to that post of yours!

  • Suzie Cheel says:

    Well the answer is in the question: Amazing how our spirit/intuition always knows.
    “I do affirmations and it feels like everything gets worse and it overwhelms me. I think there may be self sabotage programming at play.plus focus on the money”
    Yes I have been there several times in my life. What always seem to make the shift for me is to do the inner work, to meditate, to journal, to focus on what it is I really want/ love. This is the challenging part, and it is not a quick fix it requires daily love.
    Re affirmation I would recommend reading Law of Attraction: The Science of Attracting More of What You Want and Less of What You Don’t- he has a very interesting take on why affirmations don’t work.
    I think to might be time for me to write on that
    The other thing that the is so important is what the blog is titled- Good vibes- what do you do each day to keep your vibes high?
    I wrote this today Knowing that I will have a good vibe day and that the choice is mine, I remove my self quickly from low vibe people and situations and I am conscious of my words and thoughts

  • Indeed, Kimberly, that habit is simple enough that one might overlook how powerful it is!
    And I will say you guys are making me wish I’d found a way to bring music/podcasts to my last job! lol Good tip!

  • Kimberly says:

    Robert – that is so fantastic. This is what I’ve done with people I don’t like, but had to interact with – I make a list of the things I DO like and focus on that. Over time, I’ve noticed that the relationship improves. What’s really happening is that my energy towards that person has improved so their energy has mellowed out too. We never become great friends, but the relationship isn’t stressful.
    I’ve also made lists of things that I want in life. Last week we moved into our dream house. It’s lovely. We walk around amazed every day. When we were selling, I made a list of everything I love about my home (that new owners will love) and I made a list of everything we wanted in our new home. Voila! Two homes sold and one home bought.
    It’s all about changing your energy. In the mean time, I listen to podcasts with a postive spin. Practice the Four Agreements (Don Miguel Ruiz). And I listen to my iPod, music always pumps up my mood ๐Ÿ™‚
    Good luck!!!

  • Good thinking, Jennifer: find something to enjoy about the work and bring some more enjoyment to it (music, etc.).
    I think it helps tremendously for us to hear from others who have succeeded at these challenges. Gives us inspiration and a model for how it’s done.
    Thanks for posting, Jennifer! ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Jennifer Tilley says:

    Not sure if this would help, but I’ll give it a whirl…
    As someone who once raised a child on an income that would make many shake their head in disbelief and confusion, (quite often raising the question of where I kept my horseshoe…), I can certainly understand your situation.
    And, while you did mention the “job” being dissatisfying… you didn’t touch base on whether or not the persons you worked with were also an issue; so, perhaps the following advice will give you a different perspective, or perhaps it won’t.
    One thing that I did find enjoyable about the position I once held, was the people that I worked with (and beleive me, there were some kinks to work out at first, as per usual when in the getting to know you phase); but, I also made myself feel good about it from the perspective of the “difference I was making”.
    Have you stopped to consider the effect you are having with the tasks you complete each day?… Can you find/feel a sense of pride for the fact that you accomplish all that you do in a day?… Or, perhaps be able to pat yourself on the back simply because you are “shifting energies” with each and every action that you take? (and that if you begin to look at it that way, and your energy can lighten; you will see the circumstances around you become more favorable?)
    Also, give some thought to motivational music to meditate to… and yeah, I know… I know… every says “go into the silence!!” BUT (big big BUT)… music has “notes” in it, and since this is a vibrational world we live in… doesn’t it just make sense that your vibration can lift if you close your eyes, get centered, and hear a tune or two that could build the motivation/inspiration inside of you, up???
    (I personally recommend “I will not go quietly” by Don Henley, but, hey… that’s just me ๐Ÿ™‚
    Music is the key to the soul, in my humble belief… and can take your visualizations/meditations to whole new heights… if you relax into it, and really let yourself go…
    Not sure if I’ve been any help, (although I sincerely hope that is the case)… meanwhile, keep trying different methods: music, stretching, chanting mantras, etc… even delve into memories of your childhood for what inspired you then… may go a long way towards bringing some of that “little believer” in you, back… you will find your way ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Agreed, Robert, that the solution isn’t to change the circumstances but rather to change the vibe. Or else we risk a repeat.
    And having said that (I’m following your disclaimer protocol), sometimes it does take a change in scenery in order to get a new vibe going. But having some practice at redirecting thought and managing vibration first would certainly help.
    And there are clues in the email that it’s not ALL bad at work, so a purposeful intention to appreciate something about the job would no doubt do wonders for it.
    Thanks for starting this conversation, my friend! ๐Ÿ™‚

  • Robert Higginson says:

    Well, my first thought was that someone in this situation should just quit their job and look for a better job. BUT on second thought that just doesnโ€™t feel right to me. (Insert disclaimer here about how everyone is different and each person must do what feels right for them.) Instead, I would work on that hate-my-job vibe, by replacing it with a love-my-job vibe. (Otherwise the I-hate-my-job vibe just might get carried over to the next job.) So if I were in this situation I would make a list of the 10 things I love most about my job. Some examples might be; I love how this job is preparing me for, and providing a great contrast to, my perfect job. Or, I love getting a regular paycheck. Or even, I love that I get to work during the day so I can sleep during the night.
    My expectation would then be that one of two things would happen, either there would be a major shift at work so that I really would love my job, OR a job that I DID love would appear seemingly out of nowhere. Either way is a WIN and that is what is called a win/win situation.

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