Guest Post: Coach Iyabo on How to Not Give a Rip
Because most of us were trained at a young age to please others (make parents happy by eating vegetables, doing homework, making bed, being nice, etc.), we deliberate creators can find it challenging to hear and follow our own inner guidance above all else.
Doing what feels good without worrying about what someone else thinks about it isn’t the way most of us were raised, right?
Which is why I asked Coach Iyabo to share some insight on this topic for us.
Here’s what she shared:
First of all, let us be clear:
When it comes to the issue of “what others think,” you are the issue, not them.
It is all about your perception when it comes to what others think about you and of course, you are only worried about it if it is a negative judgement. So it is about judgment.
Being the law of attraction savvy people we are, we know that if we are concerned about what someone else thinks of us, it means we are judging ourselves! Duh!
Ok, so why are you judging yourself?
Because you are not seeing yourself as perfection through the eyes of Love!
When it comes to judging myself, I know all about it and the truth is that I have been very unkind to myself.
I judged myself a lot when I decided that I really did not want to practice law any more.
- “What would people think?”
- “What would my family say?”
- “How could I waste all that money I spent on getting a legal education?”
- “What would other lawyers say?”
- “Would people think I was ‘flaky’ by calling myself a ‘life coach?’”
Obviously I needed to make peace with it myself. And I did.
It came down to this: My happiness is far more important than what anyone else thinks anytime, anywhere!
Sounds simple enough, huh?
Let’s look at it this way, too …
We humans have a need to belong and unconsciously seek that sense of belonging. So our drive for “approval from others” comes from the desire to belong and not be cast out of the tribe.
It’s a good thing to liberate yourself from this mindset.
Which you can do by remembering we’re no longer in the the dark ages. Today, we get to choose who we want to be around. You are no longer in survival mode. You are in thriving mode. So, as a thriver, whose approval do you need the most?
Yours, of course!
If you wake up each day and remind yourself that there is no need to be defensive and that no matter what you do, you love and approve of yourself, you’ll be well on your way to freedom.
Start loving and approving of yourself. Find things to enjoy and appreciate about you and you’ll find the judgments of others falling away.
And while you are at it, Stop Judging Others!
(If you are concerned about others judging you, trust me, it takes one to know one!)
Now, my final trick for this issue is practice h’oponopono and I practice it often:
- I am sorry (maybe, maybe not.)
- Please Forgive Me.
- I Love You.
- Thank you.
Remember that your judgment of another – even your perceived judgment by another – is likely sourced from your judgment of yourself.
You do not approve of yourself, your actions and your thoughts on that issue 100%!
So please, give yourself a big hug and lots of love. After you are done loving on yourself, know that I love you too.
Wise words, Iyabo!
I suspect many of you reading this have insights on additional methods to liberate yourself from what others think. We’d love to hear them!
Thanks in advance for sharing, and thanks, Iyabo, for accepting my invite to write on this topic.