If It Makes You Feel Better …

if it makes you feel better ...Do you employ revenge in your manifesting process?

Can you throw a proper pity party?

Are you willing to think nasty thoughts when the occasion calls?

Sometimes our success is held up specifically because of our unwillingness to do (or think) what feels better.

That’s easy to happen when what feels better isn’t particularly pretty or socially approved.

So let’s remember how the system works …

Good vibrations beget good manifestations.

Which is why deliberate creators are so focused on flowing the good juju.

The problem occurs when we’re hesitant or unwilling to do what it takes to get to those good vibrations. We inadvertently hold ourselves in perpetual limbo by not being willing to engage thoughts or actions that feel better.

Whatever could I mean by that?

Sometimes the path to higher vibrations means traveling through some dark territory.

Like when we’re afraid of the news the doctor just delivered.
Or jealous of a colleague’s success.
Or ticked off when someone doesn’t deliver what they promised.

Lots of us have been conditioned to avoid “negative” places, either because it doesn’t fit our self-identity as a “good” or spiritual person, or because we don’t want to be judged by others, or we’re nervous we’ll get stuck if we go to the “dark side.”

There can be a variety of reasons we might not be willing to go through dark places, but someone who knows how the system works recognizes it’s sometimes required travel on the path to good vibrations.

Because if we aren’t willing to feel our feelings, and make the journey up the vibrational scale to better feelings, we’ll stay stuck in what we’re trying to avoid.

You might not immediately spot some of these as “better feeling thoughts,” but trust me, on some occasions they were just what I needed to break my evil spell:

  • “He can suck it.”
  • “She can suck it.”
  • “They can all suck it.”
  • “I hope they’re miserable together.”
  • “He is going to regret that he ever messed with me.”

I know. Not pretty.

And sometimes, it’s where we gotta go on our path to feeling better. Not always, but sometimes.

My favorite story of this is when a neighbor and I were talking about what to do with another neighbor who was causing mayhem in the hood. We were at our wits’ end trying to fix things and felt completely disempowered. She said, “Look, I know how stereotypical this is sounds (she’s Mexican), but I think we should slash his tires.”

We’re both nice girls, so when she said that we burst out laughing! It was the funniest, most relieving thought we’d engaged in the whole conversation! And it was magical. That laughter dispelled the negative energy we’d built up around the problem. And no, we didn’t slash any tires. But it sure was funny to think about it at the time.

Speaking of slashing tires, sometimes it’s action we resist on the path to feeling better. But there can be magical vibrational movement when we unfriend the sister-in-law, take a sick day to spite the boss, or tattle on the guy who did us wrong.

(Very often just a rich visualization of those actions can create the same energetic effect. Which I recommend before actually resorting to strong action in the heat of the moment.)

My point is this: when we refuse to engage a thought or action that doesn’t seem “nice” or “good,” we may be stalling our highest alignment.

So remember that if it feels better, it’s in service to your vibrational upgrade.

  • January 26, 2014
  • Nadine says:

    Hi everyone! Omg Jeannette I love your blog! So uplifting! I’m still trying to get the “hang” of this manifesting game so I get a real kick out of this site! =) Thank you so much!
    Who would have thought that such dark, angry, sad, or even vengeful thoughts could help you to feel better! But I think you’re right, because resisting them makes you feel worse. I try to put on a happy face before I’ve worked through the sucky stuff, and thats when it just feels like DENIAL! But the other day… I had a REAL deep depression, literally, I was crying almost all day long, I almost ran out of kleenex lol… I think I had almost every painful and “defeated” thought I could have about the relationship! It was the most horrible feeling in the world… And even when the crying stopped, and I was still, trying to process things.. later I’d need round 2, and 3, until I really felt ok. And then later, thanks to writing in my journal, and thanks to my Mindmovie lifting my spirits, I was able to come up with reasons why ITS NOT TOO LATE to end up with this person I love SO deeply… I refuse to give up, but I can let it go for now. I told myself “whats the RUSH? why do I need him NOW?” Maybe its as simple as him not being ready, a simple case of “now is NOT the time for this” But HELLO!! 2014 just started! =) Whose to say what exciting and wonderful news awaits me this year, especially if I expect it and take action on it. Besides.. I haven’t heard any fat lady singing! (lol) He’s still in my life, he’s still my very dear bff, and maybe I’ll fall in love with someone new, or maybe he will WISE UP and catch up to me LOL, but I just need to RELAX from now on… There’s no rush, and no need for this. I just need to live my life, and appreciate the journey. And I’m sure visualising and FEELING love and excitement will bring love and excitement into my life, so I gotta “fire” my feelings of desperation and impatience, etc.
    Here’s to 2014 being an amazing year for me!!! I hope for you guys as well! =)

  • Steve says:

    Interesting topic. I always try to think before I speak. A common profanity is when you ask God to damn someone. Think about what that means. After your anger cools down would this be something that you really what want to do? What effect would this have on you?

  • Good question, Sebastian.
    Analyzing a feeling isn’t the same as feeling it. But I wouldn’t suggest raging on your partner. Feeling out your feelings, yes, by all means. But that doesn’t have to involve another person. And it doesn’t mean that we’ll be controlled by them, when we feel them out. In fact, I’d suggest the opposite. It’s when we RESIST them that they exert a power within us we don’t prefer.

  • Sebastian says:

    Well, do you mean exploring those dark thoughts or getting controlled by them? Like, if I’m feeling jealous, should I rage on my partner or like, examine why I’m jealous? You know?

  • LovelyMe says:

    Thanks for answering my questions, Frank! It always seems to come back to “what we resist, persists”
    I’ve heard that so many times in the LOA world, but this time I definitely have more clarity on it.

  • Cassie says:

    I love this Jeannette. I can TOTALLY hear you saying all these things in the moment they need to be said. This is one area I am committed to expanding this year. Allowing those cuss words and rants and anger to come out so I can get to the higher vibration quicker! THANK YOU for this great reminder.

  • Deborah says:

    On a more benign note, all of my ex-boyfriends are now living on another planet. =)

  • Deborah says:

    God, I love this! SO. MUCH. =)
    I love that you’ve surfaced my “guilty little secret.” I know for a fact that, used thoughtfully and appropriately (fantasy vs. action) revenge can be a huge — and fast! — alignment booster.
    To this day, one of my favorite secrets is that the boss from hell messed with me one time too many, and I got him fired. He couldn’t figure out what happened! It was very, very satisfying to walk around the office, overhearing all the relieved-but-puzzled speculation as to why he was suddenly gone.
    Yep, I got the job done. Never underestimate the power of a vibrationally aligned revenge plan.

  • Thank you for this.

  • Robinvk says:

    Yup, I unfriended the sister in law. It freed me of a lot of resentful energy. Does she like me today? Not really, but we’re both ok with that. My favorite bad vibe buster…”it’s her loss!” And then I try my best to mooooove on.

  • LovelyMe, growing up in New Thought, I tell people that negative thoughts in that circle is like original sin.
    It isn’t:-)
    Feeling your feelings is the fastest path to relief.
    To your question about how long, it really is about knowing your limits. Let’s say you’re in rage and you play it out fully. How do you feel when you inch a little bit up into revenge. To just envision what might happen if you took revenge.
    Then, you inch up a little again into maybe discouragement, and so on.
    It really doesn’t take as long as you might think, but it ABSOLUTELY helps especially on things where you have a chronic vibration like a relationship or money.

  • I BOW to you, O Wise One! I am doing backflips of delight about this post. It is EXACTLY what I was wanting. Hooray! And thank you again!

  • I bow in reverence to the master.
    THANK YOU, Frank & COL!!

  • LovelyMe (yes!) — This is such an excellent question:

    How long do we stay in a place like anger? Saying “for however long it feels good” is not an easy answer, especially when a deliberate creator has been taught that basically we can predict the future based on what our current vibration is, and if we stay long in anger, doesn’t that mean we know we’re going to attract some crappy stuff? Won’t it keep piling on?

    This is the real dilemma, right?
    The way Paul explains it is very simple and direct:

    It’s not the thought that is the problem. It’s the resistance to the thought that is the problem.
    Once you allow yourself to have everything you have created, you can create anything.
    When you are resisting anything, you are holding on to it.
    Thoughts that you don’t like — the ones with contracted vibrations — don’t like you either. They want to evolve. And they can’t evolve if you are unwilling to feel the vibration that you in relation to them.
    When you are unwilling to feel, it’s like being on a factory line and stuffing the items on the line in your pocket so you can get done faster. Eventually, you will have to empty your pockets. The thoughts must evolve. That is their nature.

  • You make an excellent point, LovelyMe, which is that we want to continue our progress up the scale (through the ‘not so nice’ frequencies). How long that should take or what the progress should look like – well, I’m not a fan of using “shoulds” in this way, but it’s a very valid question you’re asking.
    Maybe I can get a guest post from a fellow coach on this subject … or post this as a community Q&A tomorrow.

  • LovelyMe says:

    Jeannette, this is a great post.
    I think this is one of my top 3 manifesting/LOA topics that I’ve wanted to explore from personal experience, and that is…why are we sometimes blocked or just unwilling to do the vibrational work?
    Now I’m wondering if I’ve been yo-yoing myself. I feel bad about something, move in to anger, but then feel icky being in anger, and try to soften that…but I think it might be what’s keeping me in a vibrational rut.
    How long do we stay in a place like anger? Saying “for however long it feels good” is not an easy answer, especially when a deliberate creator has been taught that basically we can predict the future based on what our current vibration is, and if we stay long in anger, doesn’t that mean we know we’re going to attract some crappy stuff? Won’t it keep piling on?
    Although I kind of like Esther Hicks’ newer thing of giving herself 17 seconds to get over whatever is stuck in her craw, but that takes intense focus.

  • What a perfect example, Nneka!
    I think that helps a lot of other people get more comfortable to embrace the better feeling stuff (that doesn’t seem so “nice”) when they hear stories like that, so thanks for sharing your experience!

  • Good one Jeannette:-)
    For a long time I avoided feeling jealous. I just would not let myself go there.
    One day, I went to town with my jealousy which moved me to revenge. Oh the things I imagined.
    The next morning, I woke up with such clear direction about the situation.
    It had been going on for months, but resolved within 48 hours of feeling my feelings.

  • Exactly, Frank! Sometimes people are SO skilled at not going to those places!
    (You nailed that dialogue.)
    You know, it occurs to me this is good for coaches to remember, too, because lots of times we/they/I try steering a client toward a thought that JUST WON’T WORK if we haven’t first had our proper fit about things.
    And lord knows our clients want to be “good” and do the “right” things with their coaches – so sometimes they need to be encouraged to “feel the intensity” as you said, and be really real with themselves about it.
    (Different story for someone who finds themselves perpetually in this place – but this is addressed to those who strongly resist going there.)
    As always, any post that has you weighing in on it is a better one. Thank you for your thoughts, my friend! 🙂

  • My favorite bit:

    …when we refuse to engage a thought or action that doesn’t seem “nice” or “good,” we may be stalling our highest alignment.

    I know you know how I feel about this subject and the very important distinction between “finding the thought that feels better” and “finding the thought that feels good.”
    After listening to literally thousands of hours of conversations between Paul & The Communion of Light and hundreds of folks, this is the number one issue that comes up. Typically the conversation goes like this:
    Physical folks: >> I’m really depressed about XYZ
    Paul: >> Are you willing to get angry / feel the revenge / be jealous about XYZ?
    Physical folks: >> I don’t want to upset anyone / I wasn’t raised to do that / I got really angry 2 years ago / Someone told me that wasn’t very spiritual / I don’t think that’s very spiritual / Aren’t I supposed to love XYZ? / I don’t want to bring those kind of thoughts into this vortex
    Paul: >> Until you are willing to get angry / vengeful / jealous, you’re going to be stuck vibrationally with XYZ.
    The fascinating, and powerful, part of these conversations is when the person actually does get angry and allows the feeling and then the shift happens right in that vortex. That really is magical.
    And, as Paul reminds me constantly, the reason I notice these things is because of all the times in my life that real big shifts on all sorts of thorny topics happened because I got willing to imagine and feel the anger or the revenge or the jealousy (yeah! that one!).
    Now, more and more, I find myself remembering as the shit is actually hitting the fan to allow myself to feel the intensity. Whoosh! And then we’re off and running up the vibrational scale to better and better right as events are unfolding. THIS IS REAL MAGIC!
    Lots of love to you Jeannette, as always, and TONS of appreciation for how you have laid this out!

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