It’s Not You, (Really) It’s Me

Holy Hannah – sometimes I freak myself out! I just flipped through my notebook for a client quote to include in this new post I was going to write, and happened to run across the list I made a few months ago of what I wanted in my next web developer.
I just now realized the person I hired last month is all that AND a bag of chips!! I mean, to read this page and a half list of traits including:

  • personable
  • so knowledgeable
  • great reputation
  • very responsive
  • proactive
  • supportive
  • tactful
  • great new ideas
  • ‘gets’ me
  • loves animals
  • refers perfect clients my way
  • teaches me
  • gives extra value
  • is fun to work with
  • easy to understand
  • goes the extra mile
  • appreciates my business

… I mean I go on and on. You’d think I was ordering up the impossible!! Or at least the very unlikely!
But here she is in real living life – working on MY site & blog. (& ecourse. I’m getting her in on that ecourse someday, too.)
I got exactly what I wanted. It’s freaky! Even after all this time, it still amazes me how we get just what we ask for. In REALLY strange ways!! (If she gives me the good word to share her contact info, I’m all over it.)
I had one majorly screwed up vibe on web people for a while. After my fourth service provider, I realized – hello – it’s not them; it’s me. So before I hired my fifth person I knew I had some cleaning up to do.
Which I’ve been aware of all year long. I was easy on myself for this work. I didn’t require overnight change; rather gave myself plenty of time to develop a new expectation and thought pattern about web people.
Which is also why my site doesn’t give a link to this blog – that’s how long I’ve been out a web person.
(What are they really called? It’s probably not “web person.” Sorry, web people! Web designer? Web maintainer? Web expert? I don’t know.)
Anyway, I’m officially proclaiming myself free and clear of that old vibe, and LOVING the new one I’ve got going!! WOO HOO!!
Does that mean everything will go perfectly from here on out? Well, probably, but I’m not going to be flustered if it doesn’t. Sometimes there are bumps in the road; that’s fine, it won’t cause me careening off the path if we hit one.
Okay, I’ll get back to the post I was really going to type up.
Before I go, let me ask what vibe are you cleaning up? Have you got one that consistently delivers what you don’t want? Maybe you get incompetent wait service or ..
… oh, stop me now! lol … I was just about to list a whole bunch of possibilities of what we might have bad vibes on. (No need to activate THAT.)
You are spared!
Bottom line, if you’ve got a subject that consistently brings trauma or drama to your life, consider perhaps it’s not them – but rather your vibe that’s responsible. Let them off the hook, clean up your vibe, and move on to the good stuff. It’s all waiting there for us when we just take the time to get aligned. : )

  • October 29, 2007
  • Good Vibe Coach says:

    Yeah … cleaning up the vibe. Sometimes that works best for me with a lot of intense work on it in the red hot moments (like with the neighbor situation), but other times it seems better to let the old one cool off before I start working up a new vibe. Especially when I’ve had several “false starts” or lots of old experience that seems to challenge the new reality I’m wanting to create.

    Regardless of the time frame we choose to work with, I love the “no pressure” approach you’re employing, Kim!

    Thanks for posting. I’m already looking forward to your success story as you rework this “guy” vibe of yours!

  • Kim Falconer says:

    Hi Jeanette,

    What a great post! I’m replacing your word for Webmaster/mistress . . .person. (what the heck are they called these days? Oh, Webdesigner?) … whatever it is, I’m replacing it with “guy”. I’m under no pressure, taking my time, cleaning up the ‘guy’ vibe in my life…

    Thank you!!!

    X Kim

  • Good Vibe Coach says:

    Good for you for adding to your sons’ success, Leslie, by seeing them as so! That has to be one of the biggest, if not THE biggest, advantage we can give them.

    It’s hard to imagine he could go very wrong anyway, having you as his mom. 🙂

    Thanks, John, for the reminder to not get sucked into someone else’s story. I particularly like the quote at the end of your post!

  • Peregrine John says:

    A friend of mine briefly expounded on an observation from The 48 Laws of Power which only partly has to do with this point, and plays into the ways of LOA more generally:

    Infection: Avoid the Unhappy and Unlucky
    There are those who have been brought low by simple misfortune and circumstance, whom deserve all of the help and sympathy we can give. But there are others… These others draw misfortune to them by their actions and choices. These people should be avoided at all costs. They will bring you down. It would be great if we could help them to change but the truth is that usually we end up picking up their bad ways of doing things and negativity.

    I used to ignore this law, thinking I could save people from themselves. Finally I begin to understand. I once had a roommate who blamed all of his misfortune of others. “If my she had called me…”, “If my boss only understood…”. He had an excuse for everything… Sure, he was my friend, but I was starting to notice that I was beginning to make excuses for my own misfortunes instead of just doing what needed to be done.

    “Do not die of another man’s misery.” – Baltasar Gracian

  • Anonymous says:

    My sweet Mom once said she realized she was waiting for the next shoe to fall (the next trauma/drama). I think we have been cleaning up that vibe in my household.
    My 21 year old son has done a major shift of energy these days and he is happy. Things are going to work out is his mind thought. This is huge and you can see how that would make a person happier.
    He has had three years of struggling financially and emotionally, his only girlfriend died in a car accident, he has had back problems, strange painful chest pains, and he hasn’t managed to cover his living costs.
    Amazingly he has gotten by with very little and made it okay. As gently as I could I have tried to point out he deserves more and to value his talents.
    I think that is what has been happening for him lately, he is coming to his own. He is so very talented that there just is no way he won’t start make a living with his talents – well
    actually NOW that he has cleanned up his mindset there is no way.
    And as a parent and a contributor to all of this as well I have had to clean my act up and think happy successful thoughts for both my sons. I envision both my sons being happy, successful, creative and fulfilled as they fully live up to their potential and talents. I am the mother after all, I might as well yield my wand. My sons have really taught me that we affect other’s with our thinking and if you want the very best for those you love you better start thinking that way for them.

    Love Leslie

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