It's Okay Not to Remember

how deliberate creators remember 9/11For those feeling a little uncomfortable with all the memorializing of 9/11 today, please know it’s okay not to feel bad.
It’s okay not to  immerse yourself in the memory of that day.
It doesn’t mean you’re not patriotic. It doesn’t mean you don’t care.  And it doesn’t mean you’re in denial.
It means you know the power of your focus.  And that you are – indeed we all are – best served when you focus on what you want more of.
And if you do feel a sadness, if you are immersed in the memory of those events, that’s okay, too.
But for those who check themselves because it’s not appropriate to be chipper today, or think that it’s politically incorrect not to be solemn or angry – it’s okay to let that go.
Even though a tv network took heat today for not giving the anniversary the commemoration it deserves, we deliberate creators know we don’t fix the unwanted stuff by dredging up and reveling in negative memories.
We get what we focus on; and that’s reason enough to find an excuse to smile – no matter what day it is.  It doesn’t mean we don’t value freedom; it doesn’t mean we don’t love those who are struggling with it.
It means we care about how we feel, and we know there isn’t ever a good enough reason to purposely make ourselves feel bad.
If a law of attraction savvy person felt inspired to honor the day, there are certainly ways to do it that inspire feelings of appreciation, harmony and expansion.
In fact, maybe you have some tips for how you celebrate an event or anniversary that might otherwise be occasion for sadness?  Would love to hear them in the comments if you care to share.

  • September 11, 2012
  • Dana Boyle says:

    Just remember that that is your reality. Reality is how we all create it, individually.

  • Christina says:

    I agree with remembering the way we loved each other, the way we treated each other afterwards. Petty arguments were forgotten. We were brought together in so many positive ways, despite the loss suffered.
    It’s these big, co-created losses and our own personal losses that remind us never to take anything for granted. We came here for a human experience, that part of that is caring and loving other people. We should always remember that we’re never promised another day here, and if I should “transition abruptly” I want people to know I cared about them.
    Personal losses are also a big thing. For myself, going through my divorce was a painful time but also a time of growth and renewal. In February, on the anniversary of signing my divorce papers, I allowed myself to feel that pain again, to tell my husband I loved him, I was thankful for the time apart that had allowed us to heal, even though it hurt, and to commit again to our marriage. In June, when our “first” wedding anniversary passed, I used it to remember the good times, how everything got so bad between us, reflected on my growth (because I can’t determine his growth) and resolved again to allow the marriage we’d always wanted.
    I know I won’t do this every year, but I feel it’s important to acknowledge a loss, especially when it’s not so new and raw, and look back to see clearly what was learned from going through the experience.

  • helen says:

    Amen Stephen ……imagine there’s no countries, it isn’t hard to do, nothing to kill or die for and no religions too……..says it all really

  • Sue says:

    I remember thinking as I was taking the ferry to Block Island, looking at the gorgeous sky……how could I be surrounded by such beauty and everything seemed so heavenly in my world, right here, right now.
    And at the same time, so much was falling apart.
    It made the beauty of the sky so amplified for me, the whole day actually. The contrast of the day imbedded the feelings of my entire day on the island with my daughter,her close friend and her baby, my sister, and her son as we had gone out to visit my Mom while she vacationed out there.
    It is as if what was happening made us all more present causing us to remember everything about that day and how wonderful it was for us to be lost in our little world, lost in our now.
    I’m glad we went ahead with our plan, even though the news had just hit. So many had made their transition , and I guess in my embracing that beautiful day where I decided to be, I held them and still do in my heart.

  • Stephen says:

    I may take heat for this, but I’m going to say it anyway. I am tired and a little bored from all the talk of countries. When major elections are immanent it gets so thick. Yes, I was hatched into physical reality on the land mass known currently as America. But America (or any other country) is not a real thing. It is an idea. It is a thought. I appreciate aspects of that idea, and other aspects not so much.
    Another thing, as dramatic as that day was 11 years ago, no one died. Because no one dies ever. A bunch of folks transitioned to “non-physical” rather abruptly, but there is no real tragedy there.
    These “celebrations of death” rarely engender love of fellow humans who don’t belong to the same geopolitical club, so I ain’t got a interest in them.
    I look forward to the day when we can forget countries and love each others as fellow humans.

  • JoAnn Melton says:

    Your post was a gentle reassuring way to address the anniversary without requiring everyone must again fall down into the trenches of depression or rise to the anger of who it is we blame it on and why can’t they all be brought to justice. Earlier evening I had read a comment on some FB site – a rant that was hate-filled and threatening. My first reaction was “Hey, fella, take a chill pill; It happened and if NBC didn’t handle it as you would have liked, it’s not worth the level your blood pressure must have risen to.
    Then, when I followed the link to the story you compiled, and saw that a Kardashian was featured talking about her latest boob job, I thought how many boobs there must be at NBC to promote that story at a moment frozen in time. A moment where every person living during that experience could remember where they stood, sat, ran or cried as collectively some of us wondered if this world was coming to an end.
    Further, having a show in NYC ignore the actual time frame surely has insulted people within the city audience. I’m not suggesting it had to be a complete replay of the entire tragedy, but good god, people – these are your neighbors you’ve just ignored.
    I’m appreciating all the ways that others got through their day of 9-11, as there was no script for that type of experience.
    My own day included walking in the back door of a major communications company, and seeing one of the dozens of TV sets playing CNN’s film of the first plane hitting the tower. I thought what an unfortunate situation must have met the pilot, to be so far off course. By the time the elevators delivered us just two floors up and we saw yet another plane hit the other tower, it was impossible to believe this was any possible accident.
    All activity ceased in our campus as we sat, then stood, paralyzed with disbelief, watching the same news over and over, with additions of other locations. For a communications business that supported most of the internet, the phones were eerily silent.
    Rather, it was not long before most of the phones were picked up by our own World Com family, to make outbound calls to loved ones to say, “I love you, just in case we never see each other again.”
    Outside our windows, was the practice laps of fighter jets who were practicing for a downtown air show, but the sight of them was oddly conflicting as we did not know if they had advance notice that our building was a target.
    Returning home that evening to my daughter and her new baby was the only part of the day that seemed sane, but in the night when I could not get the images out of my mind, the wee 4-month old baby had to wonder why his grandmother plucked him out of his warm and safe crib and rocked him at a time of the night we were usually thrilled he would sleep through.
    Somehow the sight of one more appearance of Mama K is an insult to the viewing public.

  • Jackie says:

    I so agree with this. It isn’t that I don’t want to honor anybody. I want to honor everybody. I don’t especially want to commemorate an act of such dissonance and that brought sadness to so many. I don’t want to feel vulnerable or innocent or guilty because we are not any of those things unless we think we are.

  • Kimberly, The Fur Mom says:

    How funny; I didn’t think of it until reading this post, but today I focused on how everyone was so kind and patient with each other that day. All of our divides were wiped away and we came together as Americans. I’m talking to people allowing others to merge on the road. People talking in length to strangers in the store or on the bus. We were really decent to each other.
    That was a wonderful feeling.

  • Dana Boyle says:

    Exactly, Jeannette! I’ve become quite good at realizing when I’m looking away or turning away because I think it’s going to make me feel bad or because I feel bad about what I’m avoiding, I’m still immersing myself in resistance. The past year has TRULY taught me how to work through that.
    My pleasure!

  • Dana, you are so right! It’s not a matter of “look” or “don’t look” – it’s about how you FEEL when you look or don’t look. Because even someone who was turned away from it, if they’re feeling bad or feeling resistance, that’s not aligned either. And it IS possible to look while maintaining alignment, I suppose, when you look with the angle you’ve shared here.
    Thanks for posting. 🙂

  • Dana Boyle says:

    This is so interesting, Jeannette. Thanks for posting. I can see why some folks don’t want to immerse themselves in this if they make it mean something sad, angry, or crappy feeling.
    For me, it feels good to honor those who lost their lives, honor those who responded and were brave, and all of us who pulled closer together, got very grateful for our loved ones, and strengthened our communities.
    I also think celebrating the lives of those lost in gratitude is a feel good thing.
    It all depends on the slant/feel.
    Today when Joe Biden was criticized for using the term “bittersweet” in his commemoration speech, I saw the difference between those who are in a feel good space about this and those who think they have to be sad and angry today. Clear contrast there…and people on both sides. Me on the up side! 😉

  • That was a fabulous result of some big contrast, huh, Kimberly? In my vortex is that kind of connection and compassion without the traumatic catalyst for it.
    Well wait – that’s not just in my vortex. I actually see that in real life often enough to know it as “real.” Thank you for reminding me of that high vibing part of 9/11.

  • Wow, now that is a powerful use of your focusing power, Charli! Really really deliberate and grounded. Thank you for sharing!

  • Charlene says:

    Thank you, Jeannette! I spoke with my son today, who was the one to wake me and break the news those years ago. We were living in the Florida Keys and I had a large Reiki Circle every week. After we’d sat and watched all the tragedy, by 10 am we were on the phone, asking our Reiki Circle to come together that evening for a healing ceremony. Loving was what we knew how to do best, and that what we were going to achieve.
    It rained, so only 11 or so showed up. We stood on the dock, willing the clouds to part for us so that we could have a Reiki ceremony outdoors, for the world, and for our country. The clouds parted. We could see it right over us. We KNEW we could achieve this, it was nearly instant!
    I hear from the people who attended that ceremony that on 9/11 every year, what they remember best is the love, and the power of parting the clouds! Oh, yeah! I think we birthed manifesters that day.
    Much love for you,

  • Amen to that, J!
    Lisa, thanks for adding to the inspiration for this one.

  • Lisa says:

    And this is one of the many reasons I love you! Thank you for this my friend!!!

  • Jrnnigrt says:

    i actually told an online buddy today pretty much the same thing. its not that i don’t feel for those people, on the contrary, i feel too much. and, i know all too well what happens when i get drawn into other’s bad vibes/memories/woes/etc… ain’t no love without self love first. right, jeannette??!! 🙂

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