July 1, 2007

Law of Attraction and Lousy Spouses?

The other day I read a law of attraction-related article that said “If your spouse is a louse, chances you are too.”
That feels like a harsh way to put it, but the point is a valid one: we get what we vibrate.
I mentioned this article in a session with my relationship coach (yes, I brought in the big guns a month or so ago), and asked her take on it. Like any good coach, she put the spotlight right back on me. “What do you think about it?”
Well, I pondered, it makes me wonder what the way I think about Russ says about me.
“What do you think about Russ?”
Sometimes I want to wring her neck for what she makes me look at! (Like any good coach often inspires in clients.) But she’s also a retired Air Force Colonel, so I wouldn’t really want to take her on.
What I think about Russ, it turns out, is every thing (I think) I’m not that I supposedly, probably long to be. (Disinterested in personal development and self-growth, satisfied with my mundane lot in life, unambitious, disrespectful of health, reserved in expressing love, etc.)
So I saw these things I would never allow myself to be, embodied in my partner. Mm hmm.
What I resist, persists. In my partner?! lol
Wow, is this just another big lesson in allowing? In relaxing? In giving up any “pushing against”?
How would that feel to give up the resistance? To be okay with the fact that Russ is content working an unfulfilling corporate job? To be at peace with knowing he’s going to eat white bread his whole life? To honor that his happiness level is just fine for him? To get okay with him not telling his family he loves them the way I know he does?
Or even better, to acknowledge that I am ALSO these things. As I release the resistance – the push against, I find peace. Shoot, I eat what some would think of as unhealthy. I don’t tell my whole family I love them. I AM Russ! Oh my gosh. No wonder he frustrates me so much.
As Byron Katie says, “We live with our best teachers.”
This month I celebrate a one year anniversary with my best teacher. This post is making me wistful to think of all the teaching opportunities I broke up with over the years. Thank God the teachers didn’t give up on me! lol
It almost feels like on my anniversary I should sent a present to all my ex-boyfriends.
And maybe give a present to myself: the gift of peace.  It’s okay, isn’t it Lorenzo?  Silly me, I forgot again for a second there.  (Patting myself on the head now; I’m okay, you’re okay.)
It’s always okay. I got it. 🙂
AND STILL – I hear Abraham saying how much easier it is to get a gourmet meal at a nice restaurant instead of trying to manifest one at a dive. And on the other hand, their recent quote: “We would like you to understand that every person on the planet has the potential to thrill you beyond description and cause you despair beyond description. It just depends on what part of them is most activated in you.”
I’m chewing on this still … In peace. Knowing it’s all okay. Right now. Today. 🙂

  • Peregrine John says:

    This reminds me (with a strong thread of humor) of something Carl Jung said: Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.

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