Like You Picked It

Conscious creators know that whatever we resist, we call toward us.

Not wanting something is like turning on a powerful magnet to make it happen.

The more we don’t want it, the stronger we magnetize it.

(Think cancer, terrorism, crooked politicians, etc.)

It’s why my girlfriend attracted weird guys and married men while I was having nothing but great romances.
It’s why my colleagues had issues getting paid when that was virtually an unheard of experience for me.
I just didn’t worry about it the way they did.

Anything we’re trying to avoid is having the opposite effect. It just activates it and calls it forth.

That’s why it’s worth engaging a different relationship with the things we don’t want.

Instead of resisting it, or even trying to make peace with it, I’m using a radical alternative:

Embracing it.

Like it’s what I wanted all along. Like it’s the best thing that could have happened. Like this is Universe answering my best dream come true.

Because if you can approach it that way, it will become that for you.

Recently the IRS sent me a little letter asking for big money. (Except it wasn’t a request exactly. It was more of a “you will do this” notice.)

Which wasn’t my favorite thing, to say the least.

In fact, for years, I have nurtured resistance for this very experience. I knew it was there cooking all along – and I tried not to be afraid of it. But there it was, just the same.

Maybe it was an inherited fear, maybe a cultural one. Wherever it came from, it’s fair to say that the IRS is on my top 10 “don’t wants” list.

Which is, I’m sure, why they’re writing me. I was a big magnet for it due to how much I didn’t want it.

So to expect any sort of happy ending here, I knew I had to find a way to drop the resistance and make some peace.

With my usual techniques falling short (yes, it shifted it somewhat, but I could still feel the charge that was there), I turned to a more extreme approach for neutralizing resistance:

Live it like I picked it.

Engage this experience like it’s the best thing that could have happened. As if I chose it on purpose. As if talking to the IRS, having the privilege of being on their radar, is a dream come true. Like I just won the lottery. Like I’m the lucky girl they picked to talk to!

When I can approach it that way, things are bound to unfold better than when I was being dragged kicking and screaming into it.

It’s only my perception that this is a bad thing that makes it so.

When I’m willing to change my mind about it, the experience changes, too.

And this holds true for whatever we might be resisting – bad breakups, divorces, bankruptcies, losing our jobs, losing our homes, having cars stolen, etc.

In fact, I’ve heard Abe share how Esther, in the heat of contrast, will turn the vibe around by naming ten good things about it.

Could I name ten good things about getting this attention from the IRS? Well, I’m the best there is, so if anyone can do it, it’s me. (That’s my little pep talk to get good at this list-making challenge.)

What’s the good news about getting this letter from the IRS?

  1. It’s teaching me one of my greatest fears isn’t that scary after all. I got this!
  2. It’s actually not that bad a request. I can totally do what they want.
  3. Based on the information they have, they were right. It’s not their mistake.
  4. And it is a mistake. A fixable one even. This could end up making me money.
  5. This could be what prompts me to seek out a proper tax person at last.
  6. I’ve got plenty of time to deal with it. The IRS doesn’t operate that fast.
  7. This is helping me straighten out my IRS vibe once and for all!
  8. I get a chance to practice my manifesting skills here. woo hoo!!
  9. The people I’ve talked with so far about this have been very nice and helpful. It’s actually been a rather pleasant experience in that regard, believe it or not.
  10. I learned a lot about systems, and software, and myself. And the power of my vibe.

I was stretching by the time I hit #9, but that was easier than I thought!

This is helping me remember who I am and how I operate. There’s no such thing as a real problem unless I decide to make it one.

And in the big scheme of things, this is, as my dad would say, “Rich people problems.” This is not a real thing to worry about! (Not that anything is, but especially money!)

Sometimes we learn that best by actually going through it. As is apparently the case for me.

You’re invited to “live it like you picked it” the next time a big bad monster appears in your life. Remember who you are (eternal and divine) and how you roll (you’re a master).

You know how this system works and you’ve got good skills to bring to the party. Fear can be fun for a minute or two since it runs the whole expansion routine, but don’t let it get crazy on you.

You know too much to play it that way.

(That’s my truth pep talk for both of us.) 🙂

  • May 25, 2016
  • Barbara says:

    This s what Nelson Mandela did when he spent all that time in jail. He told himself, and believed, that he actually wanted to be there. Apparently it really pissed off the jailers

  • Amina says:

    This is so Surrendering… this is the heart of it. It is the path to the great you want… just we cannot see it… yet! I know this is not your personal favorite, but the list of 10 you made, very similar to Byron Katie’s The Work. Why should you embrace it happening? Because, it is happening. XOXOX Can’t wait to hear the miracle that comes out of this for you!

  • Jiya says:

    It worked for me to. I had to attend a meeting with HR regarding I wanted to skip. After reading this post, I created 10 good points about this meeting. It changed my vibration and my intention of getting an email to update my calendar for cancellation manifested on time. What this 10 good points did about this meeting was, I was so ready for the meeting sans any fear I had. Great stuff!
    Going to make these 10 point for one more thing. Let’s see how it goes.

  • JG. says:

    Maybe when something “unwanted” happens, we did attract it unconciously.
    So, I have for some time now been working with the issue of contrast. Is contrast really necessary, or is it that our belief that it is makes it so, and in believing this we attract it?
    I have therefore been striving for a “contrastless” life, and so far has been so good…
    But, and it may be that I am quite impressionable, upon reading how great things spin off from contrast, my resolve weakens and my tendency to create contrast is reinforced. (Which makes perfect sense since I desire the goodies that come from it!)
    Ps. By the way: on reading this post’s title, I thought the point was going to be how, even if we are not aware that it is we that create constrat, in fact we do, and so it would be good for us to own it.

  • Namaste says:

    I really love the tip on coming up with 10 good reasons to embrace the situation. Did this shortly after reading the article, on an issue that was bothering me and it worked like a charm =)

    • Jeannette says:

      I was thinking about playing with that one some more myself, Namaste, and I wondered if it would be even more effective to just name however many come to mind the first time, rather than stretching to get to ten. (If ten is a stretch.)
      Remember Abe’s exercise where they have you list reasons about why you want what you want and then list reasons why you believe you can have it? They specifically say that it doesn’t matter how many reasons you list (whether it’s 3 or 30) – you’re done whenever you start stretching. Because the point of the exercise is to activate desire and belief, the two key components to successful manifesting.
      (They say if you keep trying to come up with another reason, then you’re activating doubt instead of desire/belief.)
      So it made me wonder if I should have stopped at 8, when I was struggling to come up with #9.
      On the other hand, a list of 10 feels so powerful!!
      You have any thoughts on that?

      • Namaste says:

        You brought up an interesting point =) I agree with you that it wouldn’t be a good idea to end an exercise to manifest a new desire by introducing doubt i.e. resistance.
        However, in this case, I believe you did the right thing by continuing all the way to 10 reasons because the situation had already manifested. Your goal was to embrace it fully, in order to release the maximum amount of resistance possible, so as not to attract more of the same. Any doubt you introduced by figuring out those last two points wouldn’t matter much because the goal was embracing and not amping up desire/believe. I could be wrong of course but that’s how I see it.
        I believe I also did the right thing as well by following your advice to come up with 10 embracing points. My last two points were weaker too but figuring them out allowed me to embrace the previously unwanted situation to the fullest.
        Thanks for bringing this up so I could think about it. I love fine tuning opportunities and appreciate that you were interested in hearing my thoughts about it =)

      • Heather says:

        I had noticed your Woo Hoo at #8 Jeannette!
        Personally I stop there, but what you came up #9 and #10 is really impressive. so you got me thinking. lol

  • Dana says:

    Good Samaritan Woman, I have benefited so many times from your articles that it’s time for me to put my money where my mouth is & buy your books. (Keep going…)

  • Mrs. says:

    I happen to agree with Stacy, Iyabo and Mia about the limiting beliefs, IRS, not probs with the IRS and accepting how I feel and use humour.
    I was living in another two counties where the IRS was know to be very strict and will come down you hard if you avoid paying taxes etc. However, when I went to the IRS office the staff were wearing T-shirts I ❤ Tax. This made me laugh. They were very helpful and got English speaking assistants to help me out.
    While living in another country I never paid any taxes because my legal rights where refused. So any money that I made even if it was in another country was not declared. I even had an jealous ex bf who threatened to report me. I was not sweating but I know those distinctive envelopes can easy send folk into world of hysteria. It happened to me at first but I nipped it in the bud instantly.
    Now I have registered my business and when I don’t understand all the paper work also not in my native language or anything else. I just call them or pop into the office. They have always been nice to me and I just put them in the same boat as the gov admin which are not the same lot of people.
    However after 15 years in this town people were telling me that the people here are cold hypocrites and the men are just sex mad, mentally il etc. Well after a few bad relationships and fake friendships I decided not take on the stereo type of the folk in my town. I started making friends and found love in this town but soon found out that the guy that I was dating was cheating and stealing from me. I think my belief was so embedded that it was going to happen.
    The good thing is that I am ready to move to another state and I refuse to listen to anything negative that people are telling me about the people in the new state like, the people are so old, I will be lonely, you won’t fit in because they don’t like non nationals, the people are snobs etc. I know that I will love it and plan to take many holidays there again before I move and also make tons friends.

    • Jeannette says:

      omgosh. I SO want one of those t-shirts!! Haha!! That’s HILARIOUS!!
      I’m going to be smiling about that all day, Mrs.! 🙂
      And yes, here’s to not taking on others’ negativity as your own. Way to create it how you want it! 🙂

  • Mia says:

    I’ve used this approach all my life: Making lists of positive aspects about the difficult people in my life, being grateful for the valuable lessons in negative life experiences, asking myself “What if you actually *wanted* this supposedly “bad” thing to happen, what if what you think what is “bad” is really a very good thing?” etc. I got really creative about this. 😉
    To be honest though: It was exhausting and made me feel even more depressed. It was a *huge* relief for me when I allowed myself to feel what I really feel deep down inside anyway: When I admitted to myself that I would *not* have picked this, that it was *not* the best thing that could happen to me. It felt so much better just letting myself *not* like this thing or experience. It felt genuine, it felt ok, it felt authentic. It lessened the pain and resistance.
    Maybe it’s different for everyone and for some people those strategies really work. For me, they didn’t. On the contrary, they pulled me even more into depression and sadness about my life. I think that if you’re in a really bad place, be careful about forcing yourself to be more positive.
    Sometimes I use a less demanding and more gentle approach, like the Buddhists advise I ask myself: “Is this good or bad? I don’t know. I don’t know what good or bad might come from this experience.” I sort of try to make peace with the difficult situation.
    Depending on how I feel, I also like to use humor to lighten up a bit about a difficult situation – it puts things into perspective for me.

    • Jeannette says:

      I also remember Abraham telling a workshop hotseater (who was upset to have recently lost her husband) that “Esther cried for a year.”
      So I would bet it’s safe to say Esther didn’t try to make a list of good things on that first day that Jerry was gone. I personally agree with Bashar when he says “You cannot change what you do not own.” Meaning, feeling the feelings is an important part of the process. But it’s also important to make sure we don’t create a habit of it, if you know what I mean.
      Finding that balance for ourselves, knowing it likely changes with each situation (let alone each person), is probably an important thing to be conscious about.
      Thanks for posting, Mia. 🙂

  • Pat says:

    This reminds me of a blog you shared once (written by a guest blogger) entitled “Invite Your Problems to Stay”…it was a powerful one for me that resulted in getting a handful of cash that needed at the time…however that being said I am still struggling with acceptance, allowing and thinking of a particular person and situation this way…especially because kids are involved and things that have adversely affected their well being…I just can’t go there with this one…at least not yet.

  • susan says:

    I about fell out of my chair just now reading your blog, I got a letter from the IRS this week too!!!!! Everything is going really, really, great for me right now and I get this letter. I was scared for a day and bummed. So I took the time to push the reset button and asked myself, “so what do I want,” from this contrast. I wrote it out in my note book, that I want them to be satisfied with my response and to never hear from them again. I kept it simple. When I think of them that is what I change my thoughts too. It gives me the relief I need so LOA can match. Also I told myself contrast is OK. Don’t just love LOA!!!

  • Meg says:

    Wow – as if I needed to read this. This idea has been flirting with me all week. I don’t really want to be dealing with adrenal fatigue right now, but I’ve connected with a great naturopath so I can continue running while my body heals. And yes – I am scheduling in “nap time” daily, because my body needs it to recharge and my doctor told me to! 🙂 And it’s teaching me that I can have my cake and eat it too – I’m fast track learning how to do more with my time in short bursts.
    And I’m seeing the other side of this too. On one of my work projects we have a tax professional that is very adversarial on our team (he’s the smart one and everyone else is wrong). Guess what manifested – a full scale audit of the company we are managing. And… This tax professional is the partner and insists on calling the IRS agent and manager every poor negative thing you could think of. So the audit has dragged on for a year with no movement (and a lot of tax fees). Funny how my boss and I and our combined 40 years of experience have never had this happen until we brought him on. So, I think I’ll ise some deliberate law of attraction here to create an easing off of this project from our tax partner and the transfer of full responsibilities to his second who is optimistic and has the patience of Job.

  • Candace says:

    This is the first time I’ve read your blog and I just love it. I will begin to live my life as if I picked it – which, I’m starting to really understand, I DID!
    I too have to pay a large amount of Canadian tax this year – so I took your advice and wrote 10 positive things about that. I got a little stuck by about #6, but I persevered and actually made it to 10 – and all of them are true. I love that I can now see this in a different way. I love Abraham’s teachings and am always glad and grateful to meet more Abers – thanks for a great blog – I’m definitely going to live it like I picked it!

  • robin says:

    Love this! Applying this one could be a real game changer for me. Can’t wait to try this on “bigger” things I get hung up on like health and family issues. Had never thought of it this way, like I have picked these things happily vs. ‘making the best of it’. It’s so true that we always have the option to see life situations, regardless of how big or small, as a gift- and to go even further – a gift we created. I really like “you know too much to play it that way” at the end too. Wow.

  • Sharne says:

    Always wonderful reminders in your blog! Something I have been playing with in regard to ‘I chose this’, which sometimes I come unstuck on, as in ‘why the h… would I choose this’, anyway if it is a big issue and not one I can walk away easily, I say to myself ‘I’m in the most amazing workshop ever’! It is so good because then I can move into workshop mode and all the things wonderful beings like you have taught me to use in really contrasty situations. Thanks again for your amazing beingness Jeannette! :))))))

    • Jeannette says:

      You guys are sharing the best stuff!
      Sharne, I LOVE this: “I’m in the most amazing workshop ever!” That feels like such a powerful turnaround!
      Very cool stuff. Thanks for posting, my friend!

  • Kathi says:

    This is like what Eckert Tolle says, pretend you meant for things to be exactly as they are. I find that puts anything scary in more of a soft focus and reduces the charge, when I remember it.

    • Jeannette says:

      Yes, soft focus and reduced charge – definitely a vibrational improvement. It doesn’t surprise me to hear Eckhart would have that teaching. Thanks for sharing that here, Kathi. 🙂

  • Simstar says:

    I once had a bill for $2000 from our equivalent of the IRS. It freaked me out and at the time I thought it was unfair. However, the result of that $2,000 being paid saved me tens of thousands of dollars with another government agency problem. It’s too boring and detailed to explain the ins and outs but 100% it was the greatest blessing. I didn’t work that out until many years later when I found you and LOA.
    Hindsights a great thing. You are so lucky to have receive that letter.
    I have found that talking about things actually releases resistance too. Since finding LOA, I believed by focusing on it (venting)was giving it a lot of power because we are taught to hold our focus on positive feelings but it actually resists it so much more. I’m all for venting now even if just journalling.
    They are going to love you and your beautiful vibe. You’ll probably end up finding ways to save you a mint in the future as a result of this.

    • Jeannette says:

      Wow. Goosebumps! What great evidence that the scary stuff really can have tremendously happy endings. Thanks for posting about your experience, Simstar!
      I may be re-reading your comment to help remind me of this truth along the way. 🙂

  • Steve says:

    Love it!!

  • Oh, and I forgot to say – that picture of the lion is probably my absolute favorite pic you’ve ever used on your blog. I wanna get hugged by a lion or tiger! (I’ve gotten to play with baby tigers but haven’t gotten a good big cat hug yet.) 🙂

  • Something that got brought up for me with this – I choose to believe that just because you’ve been fearing something does NOT mean it will definitely happen. In other words, since you had resistance to the IRS you had to manifest it eventually is just a limiting belief.
    It’s too upstream for me to think that just because I held/hold a fear about something that it will eventually happen.
    All that said, this is good advice for when stuff you don’t want does happen. And a powerful reminder to let go of as much resistance, fear, and worry as possible.
    I had a reminder just this past week. I ended up getting a whole new AC system (I was prepared to drop the $$ – it wasn’t an unexpected breakdown). But I did not have a new furnace installed at the same time because I had actually had that replaced in the past (not realizing that it had been longer ago than I had in my mind and it was a better idea to get a new furnace now). Some crossed wires happened and I even had a few moments of doubt (should I have contacted more companies, shopped around, etc.) and then things seemed to unfold not the way I wanted. Today I contacted the big cheeses at the company and I’m getting a new furnace tomorrow – for less than if I’d gotten it along with the AC last week. I was feeling pretty pissed about the situation last night so I tapped on it and the only positive things I could come up with to say is that the Universe would knock itself to bring about a resolution that delighted me. I didn’t go into it acting as if I picked it – but I do love that advise.

    • Barbara says:

      Most of what we’re afraid of never comes true. They say that less than 20% of what you worry about comes true. Remember that old trick that said to write down all your worries, and then go back at a later date and see which ones actually came true. Probably none of them. I think that if we believe we are attracting what we are afraid of, then we probably will. It makes it worse. I too like the advice of accepting what we’ve got on our plate now though and writing out why we like it.

  • Vicky White says:

    Such a great reminder. I had this same thing happen a few years ago in Canada – got a letter threatening all kinds of things – put the fear of god into me. But I did have a partner who was an accountant at that time. Despite everything he said about them being out to get me I changed every thought I had – and referred to ‘my friend Mr Chan’, the person writing to me. I’d made lots of mistakes in my calculations and what I’d submitted just didn’t make sense to them. They could see I wasn’t trying to rip them off – and in the end they sent me a cheque for $5000 when the dust settled. It taught me a lot about needing help with my books and growing my business. A very positive experience. The relationship with my partner didn’t last long, but it was if I’d been sent him to help me through this. He spent many hours straightening out my books and correcting my mistakes.

    • Jeannette says:

      omg, I LOVE that, Vicky!! “My friend, Mr. Chan”!! SO brilliant for switching up the vibe!!
      I am definitely using that!!
      Thanks for posting on this one, Vicky! 🙂

  • Elle says:

    Timely post, as always! And the comments are great! Thanks guys!
    This is how I dealt with jury duty (ended up being a great day after all with a lot of fun), a massive test (I survived), a bad job experience (I turned it around and now people seek me out to tell them of my great experiences), just to name three off the top of my head.
    I really needed this today! It is all doable- our goals and dream. I personally get stuck with all the crap people throw at me, how it is not possible and all that, which I am working on by not allowing it to hurt or deter me, becasue it is all bs.

    • Jiya says:

      Can you tell more about job… I would love to know.

      • Elle says:

        Basically, the job was great and very prestigious but the people were not. My vibration was low at the time so that is what I manifested. I was living from fear then and that environment was very fear based. There were whispers of my being fired for my pioneering ideas (non of them true), rumors about me being bothered on vacations (also false) rumors about my comings and goings, etc. When going to the post office, I was asked why I was leaving the building (very annoying) the same for the rest room. Anyway, just some examples of how ridiculous it got.
        However, the job itself was dynamite, so that is what I focus on. The actual work I did and the people I worked with from other offices, the trips I was sent on, the expertise I developed, not to mention the great pay, benefits, the place I lived in and all the guys I dated at that time- it was all glorious! A young girls dream. It was like a tv show. I only focus on that- the rest never existed and now that is all I am left with and continue to tell. People are pretty wowed by it, which is great.

        • Jiya says:

          Thanks Elle!
          I recently had a contrast that I successfully turned in my favor. But next thing is new work place, new role and new team members “under” me. I feel a little about this new role and I really wanted to know how you did it…
          I will focus on everything I want.. and good in my new role so i can turn it in my favor…again:)

    • Jeannette says:

      Yes, Elle, it is BS! (When you said, “… all the crap people throw, how it is not possible and all that, which I am working on by not allowing it to hurt or deter me, because it is all bs.”)
      Which is a big reason I love this community here so much, so we can remind each other of what works and what we’re capable of as we support each other in our biggest dreams come true. 🙂
      Big love, my friend!

  • ada says:

    Wow ..How do you do this every time? Do you read my mind?
    So I am moving to different state and I am fearing it like anything. I have nobody there and I will be alone. And it is a big move.
    I don’t have much money. Completely starting from scratch and it scares me but deep down I know it is what I have always wanted. It will be the best thing ever to happen to me.

    • Elle says:

      I feel it will be, too! Just you wait! Sounds like fun.

    • Jeannette says:

      I’m so excited for you to have the courage to take such a big leap, Ada!! That is so exciting to say YES to what’s in your heart, even when it’s scary. (especially when it’s scary!)
      We know what good things await when we honor dreams this big. So easy to see this indeed being the best thing you ever did for yourself. Congrats, my friend!
      And where are you headed? I guarantee someone here reading this now is already there, so you have more good company than you yet realize. 🙂

      • ada says:

        Thank You Jeannette.
        I am moving to California from Texas and that too tomorrow. So excited and scared.

        • Irth says:

          Hello Ada,
          Believe it or not, I’ve done this quite a few times, even from country to country too, all alone, sometimes not a lot of $$ and no firm job offer. But I’ve always survived it and guess what…I’m overseas now but headed back to Cali on June 13th. I don’t know what part of Cali you’ve gone to but I’d be happy to connect with you if you’re looking for some friendly support.
          Hope your relocation went well.

    • Master Manifester says:

      Hi Ada,
      I am also taking some big leaps in life and I notice the same feelings of “fear.” However, I have chosen a different name for that feeling. I call it excitement. Have you ever noticed how the physiological feelings of “fear” and “excitement” are actually the same. It is a label we put on it. I also embrace the feelings of apprehension smiling and realizing that the bigger the leap, the more I am honoring myself, the more I am moving into what I want in life. AND the bigger the leap, the more I am stepping out of my current comfort zone. It is like buying that new pair of shoes after wearing in an old pair and realizing that the new pair is going to feel OFF, maybe even uncomfortable and stiff and rub a bit in funny places UNTIL I wear them for a while. Big change always feels foreign in our bodies until it becomes familiar. I am celebrating your willingness to step into a BIG DREAM and LIVE it. Celebrate your apprehension as a sign of your willingness to embrace a BIG dream! YAY for YOU!!

  • Kitnye says:

    “What we resist persists” is what I tell myself whenever I’m faced with something I don’t want. I remind myself of this and try to release the resistance. Maybe I’ll try this technique some time.

    • Jeannette says:

      It’s such a helpful thing to remember when we’re in the heat of contrast, isn’t it, Kitnye? Here’s to having that level of awareness that allows us to be our most effective selves. 🙂

  • Hahahaha,
    This is hilarious to me! I can honestly say that the thing I feared the worst in the whole entire world happened. And it was soooooo much worse than the IRS because I have dealt with both. And so this is hilarious to me. But here is the thing, it was survivable.
    It will not kill you. If it does, we know it is so much better over there.
    I think that is the beauty of stuff like this — the resistance is much worse than the event itself.
    The IRS will love you and they will show you tons of support and love and grace. They are super cool people. When I had to work with them, they loved the fact that I was respectful and honest and asked for help. They were very cool. I am sure they will treat you even better than that.

    • Jeannette says:

      That means so much more coming from someone who has lived it, Iyabo, than from someone who’s speaking hypothetically.
      Thanks for chiming in to confirm there really and truly isn’t anything worth worrying about.
      In fact, even those who’ve had a glimpse on the other side and come back to tell about it make a pretty compelling case for just how good it is if we do in fact go there. 🙂
      This is what I’m taking away: “The resistance is worse than the event itself.” It really goes to show how we create our own personal hell, right? And that we can release ourselves anytime we’re willing to give up the resistance.
      Love you, Iyabo!! 🙂

  • Stephen says:

    A wise friend once told me it’s less important what you do, then it is how you do what you do.
    And that is a fine how do you do.
    Also: “There are no mistakes, only discoveries.” Stephen Colbert

    • Jeannette says:

      Good reminder, Stephen, that how we feel is what makes all the difference. And whatever helps us get to that feel-better state is our path to success. 🙂

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