Making Peace When It Sucks

how to make peace when life sucksSome things suck really bad.

  • A cheating spouse leaving with all the money.
  • An ungrateful boss demanding you do more with less, on a job you don’t even like.
  • A deadly diagnosis from the doctor.

The worse it is the harder it is to be okay with.

And yet, deliberate creators know that some how some way that’s exactly what we’re well served to do – find a way to relax about it. To drop the resistance. To get okay with things.

Because the more we don’t want it and the more we push against it, the more we empower the very thing we don’t want.

Kind of a screwy deal, huh?

But it’s how the system is set up – we get back whatever we put out. Wherever our focus is, that’s what comes to life.

Which is why fear, anger, judgment and resentment are powerful magnets to attract what we’d rather have nothing to do with.

The challenge is how to break the negative bond and set ourselves up for happier endings …

The good news is we all have happy endings in store no matter what we do or don’t practice here. Some folks who have traversed the path ahead have returned to tell us the ultimate ending is a sweet experience indeed.

But those who’d like to find their way to peace and joy right here and now will want to learn how to make peace with the things that don’t seem very lovable.

That’s a hard thing to do when we’ve been trained to believe that we get rid of something by fighting it. It’s natural to worry that giving up that battle will leave us vulnerable to the very thing we don’t want. Turns out, it’s the opposite.

Back in my corporate days, I didn’t want to continue the ‘inexplicable’ weight gain my body was experiencing. But everything I did (watching what I ate, working out more) just put on the pounds. It wasn’t until I gave up all the efforts to change it and instead learn to love my body as is that the weight started to ‘inexplicably’ drop.

Making peace just means finding a way to feel better with what is. Β And we’ve got to lead the way – not wait for things to change so then we can feel better.

Because that routine doesn’t work.

We get what we vibrate.

Whether you’re dealing with aΒ broken heart, a diseased body, an exhausted bank account, or a dream that seems like it won’t come true, it’s worth processing the feelings involved and making your way to peace. Abraham tells us that the way to manifest something is not to care about it too much. Attachment to a certain outcome is a pretty good way to guarantee we won’t get it.

Your journey to vibrational improvement may look downright unpeaceful at times, but you can trust your guidance to lead you there. Even if it leads you through swear words and tears and who knows what else – keep reaching for what feels better.

And remember: it is a process. Don’t beat yourself up for not being there already (if you’re not). Get okay with whatever you’re feeling now, and you’ll do just fine.

This process of feeling better actually happens quite naturally when we allow the emotions to move on through.

You’ll eventually find your way to letting go of the fight and to getting right with yourself. And that is a sweet spot to live.

  • October 22, 2012
  • JamesJohn says:

    I would like to share what happened to me and how making peace works. We had a new area manager visit where I work and he is an angry bully. For no reason he made life hard for many and with me, he wanted me on another department even though I was good at my job and done it for over 10 years!! I was very upset. I thought of writing a very long letter to head office explining what had happened to me, how it affected me and how I had seen him bullying others, but I knew it would be best by LOA not to do this. So, I said to myself, I often affirm that life brings me good and possitive experiences and I trust life to bring me my highest good. So, I concluded that life was steering me towards greater joy and higher good. I affirmed this many times: Life is steering me towards greater joy and higher good. This made me go with the flow and not fight against what happened. Guess what? I have so much fun on my new department and the time spent and work seems to go by so quickly!!… Making peace works!!

  • MissyB says:

    Needed this RIGHT now. Thank you.

  • Anonymous says:

    This quote from Tom Kenyon’s “Jumping Timelines” from the Hathors seems appropriate to the discussion:
    “The task here is to be true to your vision while paying attention to what the current reality is showing you. It is not about pretending. It is about facing reality as it presents itself to you while simultaneously holding a higher vision. In other words, you deal with the reality of your life while simultaneously holding the vision of a different life. This is the art.”

  • Annette says:

    Love this, Jeannette!
    Love how you were shown just exactly how to take that resistance meter to another level!
    Paul’s take on this is aso excellent!
    My good friend Michelle told me last night that she can’t wait for the debates to be over so she can like her friends again πŸ™‚ In other words, she’s staying off Facebook til mid-November. I think that’s a great action – – to allow others to post what they want while staying in alignment with friendship and peace-keeping.
    We spent the evening watching Dancing With The Stars All-Stars, and that was a our way of high-vibing it!

  • Susan Young says:

    Jeannette, Really liked this one. Lots of wisdom there. Although I know this to be true it isn’t always easy to remember and this was an excellent reminder.
    Thanks for posting and for the sage advice!

  • Katy Lowe says:

    I’m like Jacqui – I’m so ready for a new job or diff/better source of income -Today instead of feeling like my job sucks, and stressing that I have to be ‘here’ I’m playing on the computer a bit more…(yes my work is already pretty much done & I’m asking for things to do) and just going to focus on what’s fun in my life…how to enjoy MORE fun in my life and make the best of where I am for today. Thanks Jeannette πŸ™‚

  • Sandra says:

    Thank you Jeannette for an incredibly timely blog (though, aren’t they all!) I love that it reminds me to breathe a little more, worry a lot less and trust it all! Thank you to everyone who commented, I love all the different perspectives & experiences!!! This blog & website are simply amazing & I am grateful to be a part of it, thank you!

  • Jacqui says:

    thank you Jeannette, I appreciate seeing this today – first day back at work after a holiday and am SO launching rockets of desire for a different and delicious way of making my living. Thanks for the other comments too, ‘specially yours Janette which has reminded me to relax and eagerly anticipate my new adventures showing up! I love this blog!

  • Julia says:

    Think I may cry with relief reading this… your words could not have been more helpful right now.
    I do already ‘know’ this stuff of course…& have been using it to an extent…but there was still resistance & a little bit of ‘pushing’ going on out of fear.
    Today shall be different…
    Thank you Jeanette x

  • Asma says:

    Perfect timing for me! I have been focused on manifesting a certain outcome for a while now. Today when I woke up I realized that I have stopped caring about the manifestation now this worried me a bit. But reading this made me realize its the opposite I have reached the sweet spot and given up resistance and this is the place where magic happens! I am happily living in my now and just excited to see how things will turn out! I have a feeling in the best possible way! : )

  • You’re still the Queen, Noelle. Glad you could find some more inspiration here, though.
    ButterflyWoman, that is a tricky thing … to recognize what’s really flowing behind an action. Especially since no one else can tell us how we really feel. When Lanaiya King ( told me “what we judge, we become” something clicked for me. I was definitely judging that situation as wrong.
    Carolyn, glad it was helpful. Thanks to all of you for reading and posting.

  • Carolyn says:

    How timely Jeanette. This is exactly what I need to read today. Thank you.

  • ButterflyWoman says:

    I noticed the absence of certain posts/threads here (I only noticed by accident, actually). I wondered what happened. I was actually quite discouraged, as it hits on all my own issues with how the bullies always beat you down in the end and never (or rarely) have to answer for it. I’m still processing those feelings, in fact (they have everything to do with me and things I need to release, and nothing to do with a travel agency I never would have used, anyway).
    I’m going to have to take leap of faith and assume that those responsible (for whatever it is I think they should be responsible for!) will reap what they sow.
    I do know that it’s always more productive to be pro- something than anti- something. I know that, and have known it for a long time. And yet I still get caught up in being anti-bully or anti-moron (yeah, I know, judgemental of me, much?) or whatever thing I think I need to struggle against. I also know that when I just allow that “sometimes it’s just like that”, it stops being like that, and yet I still get all tangled up in the struggle.
    I do hope we eventually hear a story about how it all worked out perfectly and unexpectedly wonderfully as soon as the resistance was dropped, I will admit… πŸ˜‰
    Meanwhile, I’ll work on releasing my own angst and fear-based thoughts about bullies and morons and thugs and whomever else it is I think I need to worry about. I’m glad for the reminder.

  • Noelle says:

    OMG….thank you for ALL of these awesome responses! And I thought I was QUEEN of knowing how to do this; make peace with “suckiness”, lol!
    But you guys have helped me even more, especially Frank/Paul and Janette(and of COURSE YOU Jeannette;) to be able to deal with it even better!
    Frank I LOVE your story about your repossessed car! How cool to realize you were identifying with your car, AND be happy to give it away, lol! Took ME a “while” longer and a “beat to shit by ME” car to get the “enlightened perspective” I have now, lol!
    The thing I’d like to remind everyone about “making peace with sucky things” is that; when you are really DOWN, the “light” is really EASY to see! And when you see it, its easy to get VERY HAPPY over the smallest things!!! And so your vibe raises far, FAST…..sort of like a “quantum leap” I guess!
    It’s like the lower you go, the higher you CAN go, though NOT a path I recommend if you can help it, lol, but it does WORK like that;)! Matter of fact like Abe says, I think some of us like the more “exciting” ride;)!
    Thank you guys, & of course, you too Jeannette for this post, and this AWESOME BLOG too! This blog is THE ONE EMAIL I ALWAYS OPEN UP AND READ IMMEDIATELY:)))!

  • Mike, you are one smart guy. Purposely finding that perspective can sure help take the sting off. I appreciate your sharing a practical way to reframe in order that we facilitate letting go of resistance.
    Janette, I love the visual of us climbing our relief ladders to joy. And isn’t it interesting what some of those rungs turn out to be?! ha ha
    Thanks for posting, you two. πŸ™‚

  • Janette says:

    You. Freaking. Rock!
    Seriously, “Your journey to vibrational improvement may look downright unpeaceful at times” is the wisdom which makes you my go-to person when it comes to all things LOA.
    I love Paul’s perspective, too, Frank. “Give up early and often” – absolutely!!! But here’s the distinction I often need to remind myself – give up the struggle and the resistance and the denial of my feelings in that red hot moment. It’s impossible for me to give up my desire, since once it springs into existence it never goes away. So I might as well relax and make peace with the temporary contrasty suckiness.
    Because once I can do that, of course it dissipates. Relief is all I’m looking for right now. And if relief comes from tears and swearing and throwing a hissy-fit, so be it. And after the hissy-fit is done, I continue to reach for relief.
    Relief is like a ladder I can climb, rung by rung, to rediscover my natural state of joy. It’s also a brilliant way to help my brain get literally rewired, out of drama and stress and into peace and trust.
    Kudos to you, Jeannette, for sharing this journey with us and for the strength and courage to find the better feeling place in the end (and thereby help us find it too). Brilliant.

  • Mike Golvach says:

    Hey there,
    I agree that we do get what we fight against, and some times it is hard to see bad things in a good perspective.
    One thing I use to make myself feel better is to remember that, logically, no matter what’s going on in my life, I’m in the best possible place that I can be at this particular time. This moment is necessary, so that (maybe better) future moments will occur.
    I try to explain that philosophy to people by having them look at their lives backward. For instance, if a guy meets, falls in love with and marries the girl of dreams, I ask him to remember a time in his past when he got in a bad accident or suffered some other misfortune. Even though that seemed like a bad thing at the time, it was probably necessary in order for him to be where he is today. It can’t be proven, because things could go a million different ways every moment, but it’s a certainty that, having suffered that misfortune, he ended up in the place he is now. Happy and in love with his life πŸ™‚
    Take care,

  • Shannon, I LOVE your story!!! What a perfect example of what I was trying to impart here.
    Thanks for sharing that!
    Frank, thank you for chiming in here! (with Paul, too!) Loved the “you don’t have to go to lunch with it” – no doubt. When we remember that it makes all this easier to practice.
    And “give up early and often” – that should be a pin. (I might even make it for you!)

  • Kimberly, The Fur Mom says:

    This is exactly what I need to read today. Thank you.
    I was struggling with many things and I didn’t act, because I got a yucky feeling, telling me that I was far away from source in the thoughts. I wanted to rage about a few things, try and get people to see My Side, but I don’t have to. I’ve already done my part in it’s time for me to start walking down my path, leaving the others behind to walk their path.
    It’s a weird mindset, because I always thought I needed closure. What I realized today is that I had closure before this even started.

  • And Shannon, I just had to say how wonderful it is when things like furnaces and cars heal themselves once we get out of the way! Great allowing story! Woo hoo!

  • Thank YOU Jeannette for THIS!
    Just this morning Paul said to someone:

    In order to have what you want, you need to find a way to want what you have.

    This phrase is sometimes tricky even for me (and the words come out of my mouth!), because I don’t want that unwanted thing. Duh! That’s why it’s frikkin unwanted!
    But they’ve also said this to me (and few others):

    When you allow what is to be what is, you are moving the thing, whatever it is, from the unwanted column to the wanted column. You’re not going to have to go lunch with it, but this will allow whatever it is to find its way through you (you created it, after all) and on to the place it wants to naturally evolve to, wherever that may be.

    Long before I met Paul (or at least before they started speaking through me), my very wise mother taught me that often times the best thing to do is to be willing to have the thing I’m most afraid of actually happen.
    If I get willing, then it probably won’t happen.
    This has LITERALLY kept me out of jail! And from being fired on more than one occasion. And from being sued!
    All of those things SHOULD have happened but they didn’t because I got totally willing and came to peace about it.
    Then there was the time they came to repossess the Mercedes and I freaked out. After about 30 minutes of serious freaking and fussing, I finally realized that was I was actually doing was confusing me with the car. Once that got clear, I was totally willing to have the car taken away. So, of course, they sent a very hot tow truck guy to get it who was totally blown away that I was so happy to hand over the car. I thought he was going to kiss me!
    Each of the things I just mentioned actually led me to some pretty amazing places once I got willing.
    Here’s what Paul says to me quite a bit:

    Give up early and often. Why wait? You can trust that your vibrational reality is finding its way into your physical reality as you follow what feels better, so why wait to feel better when all that good stuff is lined up waiting for you to line up with you.

    Thank you Jeannette!! Fan-effing-tastic reminder!!! Mwah!

  • Shannon says:

    I got the opportunity to practice this today. I can go from zero to victim in nothing flat πŸ˜‰ So today when my furnace stopped working my immediate reaction was to worry…about who I could get to fix it, how I was going to pay for it, yadda, yadda, yadda. And I just decided not to worry (which is a real stretch for me). I left the house to run an errand and when I got back…the furnace was working again. All on its own. Without me worrying πŸ˜‰

  • Anonymous says:

    Your father must be really proud of you.

  • You’re welcome, Jesann.
    And congrats, Kimberly. That’s a high-vibing place to land – to leave others to their path while you stick to yours. Especially when it’s as close to home as yours has been. Kudos.

  • Jesann says:

    Thank you.

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