Manage Your Expectations

We’re often advised by others to “manage our expectations.”

Meaning, usually, to lower them.

It’s a common tip intended to help us be realistic and avoid disappointment, by not getting our hopes up.

It might be well meaning, but it’s completely unhelpful once we understand that our expectations manifest. Over and over again.That’s what our entire life is – getting what we expect. Whatever that is.

Which is why the best way to manage our expectations is to raise them …

To learn how to believe in what we want.

Because our desires can’t manifest until we learn how to believe in them.

And that’s what an expectation is – a sign of what we believe.

When my credit card was declined at the store the other day, I knew immediately it was a glitch in their system. Because the money’s there. My account is in good standing, and even if it weren’t, my credit is stellar.

But after checking the expiration, the clerk handed my card back assuming I must have exceeded my limit. She felt sorry for how awkward this must be for me.

I didn’t feel awkward, though. Because I knew my card was good.

I told her to try it again. She did, and it was rejected again. So were my next two cards.

And not for a single second did I expect that there was a problem with my money. I knew this was her computer acting up, not my money.

(Which was proven when I invited the next customer to try their card – and it was rejected for a return. That’s when she realized it was her system, not me.)

That’s a pretty strong expectation, to be able to hold it even in the face of contrary evidence. Even when others don’t believe it with you. But I’ve worked on my money expectations, so these are solid.

Different story for me when it comes to lottery tickets. I don’t actually expect those things to pay off. (It’d be nice! I’d be very happy about it! But I don’t actually truly expect it. Not the way I expect my bank account to be in good standing.)

This girl, on the other hand, expected to win the lottery. And win she did.

I do expect men to treat me well. I also expect my business to thrive. And I expect my clients to succeed.

I’m learning how to expect to find a dream house that is everything I want it to be.

I’m learning how to expect my old dogs to thrive. And my own body to improve with age.

I’m learning how to expect better support in all areas of my life.

It’s a practice – learning to believe in the things we want.

And it’s a practice worth engaging. Which just means repeating the thoughts and images you prefer; and dwelling on reasons to believe in what you want. That’s how to develop a new expectation.

(It’s the same process we use to create negative expectations, only this time in our favor!)

So the next time someone suggests you manage your expectations, I say, by all means, yes, do that! By ratcheting them up and learning to believe in what you want.

Because all our dreams are out there just waiting for us to say yes to them. 🙂

  • February 8, 2016
  • mj says:

    I had this post ready to read after I did some journaling about my “want”. I have a yearning to move back to a little beach town and write for the local paper. I have this nagging thought, though, of is this ok for me to want? Because I moved away from that place a few years ago, never anticipating to return. And it seems like a little dream to have, but the pull, the longing shows up as a physical sensation.
    So when I read this post, I had to blink and rub my eyes! Then I read the final words about learning to believe in what I want…..WOW!

  • Geet says:

    the best way to manage our expectations is to raise them …
    Wow! So true…when we expect less for ourselves, we tend to draw such people and circumstances in our lives who give us less than what we deserve…I had asked my ex to reconsider his decision and expected that he will block me and say no… as I expected this is what happened! Lol!
    Need to learn how to let go now and expect more! Thank you for your post! Getting to learn LOA for manifesting good things!

  • Jasmine says:

    I appreciate you sooooooooo much Jeanette! Th last sentence of this post felt sooooooo good!

  • Michael says:

    “Its a practice – learning to believe in the things we want. It’s a practice worth engaging”
    That’s a wonderful way that I believe helps one to attain faith in ourselves, while leaving the open for magic!
    Thank you,

  • Aniket says:

    Beautifully explained Jeanette..
    Positive expectations is one of the most important pillars for attraction good things..
    When we have positive expectations we send a signal of strong belief to the universe ..
    We know in our heart of hearts that things will manifest…this implies that we are already convinced that things have manifested on spiritual plane.. soon the physical reality will catch up..
    Its like ordering a cellphone online and once it says order is processed we continue with our day to day life fully expecting that the cellphone will be delivered!!

  • Jiya says:

    I think I should start working on it.

  • Eleanor says:

    I’m definitely in need of “raising the bar” when it comes to expecting things. Reminds me of a weird story that I can’t explain and hopefully someone can:
    *About two/three years ago when I first discovered the law of attraction, I was dating this guy I’d had a huge crush on for ages. After our first date, I didn’t know how it went but he said he’d call me and we’d go out again. I’d just watch the secret and was an early student of LOA and learned about preparing in advance for what you want and so a few days after that first date I decided to use LOA and got done up told my flatmates I wasn’t going to be home as I was going out on a hot date and waited and waited around really hoping that this was going to work. And it didn’t. I sincerely expected to go on a date, I was in that dress at 1 am still thinking, “Oh he’ll call me I know it.”
    What happened there?
    P.S. Since then, anytime I get dressed up in advance to go out even with my current boyfriend; I always get canceled on and anytime I’m looking like crap is when he ends up surprising me and taking me somewhere nice and I feel so awkward as I’m usually in jeans and no make up. I feel like I have resistance to wearing anything nice now as I’m afraid or in relation to this blog post “expecting” my boyfriend or friend to cancel on me.

    • Namaste says:

      I LOVE that you played so full out that you actually got dressed up for the date and stayed in the game until 1 in the morning. That takes a lot of guts, a lot of people wouldn’t ever actually do that.
      I suspect that you really wanted that date. I also suspect that you some how managed to get yourself to the point of expecting it was really going to happen. Where I believe things fell through was with your beliefs. You can want something, even get yourself to the point of expecting something, but if your beliefs don’t match, the desire will not manifest (except in cases of truly burning desire where it overrides everything/what Abraham Hicks calls pure wanting).
      The question I’d ask myself is, “What would I have had to believe in order for me to have experienced him not calling?” That question should shed some light on the limiting belief that derailed your experience that night. Again, I know it didn’t happen but I still think it’s so cool that you played that full out. Especially, since you’d just started learning about LOA.
      As to the why you’re getting canceled on now when you get dressed up, again I’d ask myself that question to find out what your beliefs are in this area. So I’d ask myself, “What would I have to believe for me to be getting canceled on every time I get dressed up?”
      To say a little more about this, so you got dressed up and the date didn’t happen. It was a big let down. Next time, you got dressed up and got canceled on, you thought, “This sucks, that’s the second time it’s happened.” The third time this happened, you started believing that getting dressed up was a sign you were going to get canceled on. By the fourth time this occurred, you actually now expect to get canceled on when you get dressed up to go out. How do you beat this? You’ve got to find and then neutralize or shift the beliefs that are causing this to happen. Your beliefs really do dictate the experiences you are having. I was skeptical when I heard Joe Vitale say, “We live in a belief driven Universe” but I’ve found over time that he’s right.

      • Namaste says:

        PS Sorry for misspelling your name Eleanor, I clicked too soon =)

        • Eleanor says:

          Wow! Thank you so much for your insight on this (and other posts as I’ve read your replies…) It’s funny how that was years ago and I still felt stumped by that experience.
          I’m definitely going to use LOA and start expecting that when I get dressed up I’ve got somewhere great to go and get the boyfriend to take me out on some nice dates!

        • Namaste says:

          Thanks for letting me know you’ve gotten value out of the things I’ve written =)

      • Ariadne says:

        Thanks for sharing your experience. I know exactly what you mean. I ended a bad relationship with a man thinking ‘I’ll meet someone soon, I always have.’ That was more time ago than I care to admit, and I am still waiting. I think it comes down to getting the right balance between expecting the best and letting go at the same time. I am working on that.
        Again, thanks!

        • Eleanor says:

          Sending you extra thoughts that this guy you are looking for comes into your life soon.
          I’m a reality TV show junkie and loved the Millionaire Matchmaker when it was on Bravo and I about (to use a teenage expression here) died when I saw youtube video of Abraham talking to Patti Stanger.
          Anyways Abraham’s advice to her cause she was in the position you are “waiting and expecting” the right guy was to basically “date while you wait…” so if you are attracted to a guy and he’s not the type or the one you want but at least you’re not at home with netflix just go for it was sort of the jist and then before you know it the right one will show up and at least you were having a good time out while waiting.
          I’d check out the video for sure….

        • Ariadne says:

          Just wanted to share that I woke this morning to an email from an ex telling me he was getting married and explaining why I hadn’t been the one. As I was reading it I was deeply grateful to the Universe for protecting me from him, and ending the relationship when I wasn’t strong enough to do that on my own. I used to struggle with why the Universe would not give me the things I so badly desired but now I think the answer rests in Jeannette’s post. I needed to raise my expectations, and stop dating men who were toxic for me.
          I’m not sure why but his email made my day. I’ve cleared the decks for the good stuff to show up.
          Thanks for your reply and good wishes. I wish the same for you.

    • Elle says:

      Upon reading your post, I thought back to an ex I had who would call me, make plans with me, say he would pick me up, I would get all dolled up and then he would not show. He did this once (would turn off his cell phone so I could not reach him) then the next time, I went out with someone else and saw him out with his guy friends and he got angry. After that, I reflected back to him what he projected out to me and two played at that game, but I realized it all came from me because I never took this guy seriously, I did peg him out as a loser from the moment he approached me but I chose to have some fun and I knew it all along. I have always had that intuition. It was all a game and it is all a game, like you mentioned what Abe said.
      At that time, I was told to look for something serious and not be played for a fool, as women told me, so all relationships came from that vibe. When I look back, I ask myself how I could listen to that. Only I know best. After this guy (I thank him for this), I took matters into my own hands, embraced my single-dom, accepted all the casual relationships as wonderful, got the most out of them even if they were a few hours/days long, and just kept having a blast, paid no attention whatsoever which loser was getting married next, and then, eventually, my guy came along, after I let all that crap go and enjoyed my life to the fullest regardless of what others thought.
      When all dressed up, just find somewhere to go and it will all come to you, I promise, but you must align with it and own it. Wow, that felt good to write!

      • Eleanor says:

        It felt good to read too!
        I love the idea of getting dressed up and just as a result of doing that, an opportunity to go out will arise. Even if it doesn’t, oh well at least I’m putting the vibe out there.

  • Quilly says:

    This could be subtitled: “Think like an Aries!” … 😉

    • Elle says:

      That’s funny. I dated an Aries, one of the big loves of my life, but he had low self-esteem and had very low expectations for himself, so much so that he kept telling me he would not amount to anything and not to expect much from him. True story. I saw another version of him, though, and it was so full of potential, like he should have been in much better circumstances than he saw, but since he did not expect them for himself, they were not manifesting. It was sad because he had all the qualities- intelligence, humor, caring, sensitivity, insight to really make it and he was not living his full potential and this hurt. I did not expect anything from him, as I had my own financial stability, and since I loved him I saw how he was hurting himself because he just did not believe anything was possible. This is a sign because I had a dream about him last night! Ha!

      • Lightline says:

        I am trying to manifest an Aries. LOL
        He is really confident, and strong-headed, dosn’t like to be in spotlight when it comes to expressing feelings… hot and cold.

  • Anonymous says:

    Hi Jeannette,
    You have really great expectations and a strong, stable vibration. Is it ok to back off from raising expectations if it feels like work and struggle? When I actively work on shifting beliefs and raising expectations, I feel stressed and often my attempts are in vain. When I back off from the LOA work however, do other things and have fun, good things flow in, even if they weren’t what I was expecting. I’m afraid I could be slowing myself down by not being more deliberate, but the back off and feel better approach is a lot more enjoyable.

    • Jeannette says:

      Such a good question, Anonymous! Thanks for posting it here.
      If life is treating you well already – I say don’t change anything!
      If there are things you’d like (I’m posting this for others, not so much for you, since it sounds like you’re good to go), but if there are things you’d like that aren’t happening, that’s a good time to check your expectations.
      And if you find room for improvement on them, then yes, that work does require an effort to create a new expectation. But it doesn’t have to be hard work.
      Hope that makes sense for anyone else who might have been wondering about this. For you, though, Anonymous, keep doing what you’re doing!! 🙂
      PS – “backing off from the work, doing other things and having fun” – you just described vibration management to a T. lol You might think you’re backing off from LOA when in reality you’re leveraging it brilliantly! 🙂

    • Anonymous says:

      Thanks for your reply Jeannette! 🙂 It took me a long time to get to this point where I feel assured and free to let go. I know my manifestations will come some way or anther and feel less stressed about timing. As I bank all this good energy, I know that many desirable manifestations await.
      Things can happen quite slowly, so I probably have to shift some expectations in certain areas. I’ve had a lot of resistance come up lately and can see the expectations and beliefs holding me back. It feels like hard work though to do conscious shifting…so I will have to learn to do it more easily.
      And thank you for sharing that great article by Cynthia Stafford! This lovely lady has been a huge inspiration for me since learning of her several years ago. I ask though, is it necessary to prepare for manifestations before they arrive? I mean conscious but non-inspired preparation: practical things that may not be fun but seem necessary. Or is it best to just follow your joy and see how you’re inspired to prepare if you need to at all?

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