When You Want the Impossible

Sometimes we paint ourselves into an unhelpful corner when we believe we can’t have what we want.

Like a reader who wrote last week who wanted to enroll in a new course, but didn’t want to spend the money.

Or like my guy friend who wants to enjoy a monogamous relationship with his sweetheart, but still wants to be able to have other fun as inspired.

Or the way I’d love to join a few friends on a crop circle trip with Freddy Silva, but I also really want to just stay home.

There are some things that seem like they just don’t go together, and that we truly have to choose this desire or the other.

Here’s the thing. Conscious creators know anything is possible that we can imagine.

Nothing is off limits unless we make it so.

So what do we do when we’ve got conflicting dreams?

Here are four tips to remedy the situation when you’ve got contrary instructions running:

1. Recognize where you’re doing it.
Often we don’t even realize we’re buying into limiting beliefs. We just think that’s how it is. (Like, “what’s done is done.” You know what? Not always. You’ve got options.)

A sign that you’re thinking small or that you’ve painted yourself into a vibrational corner is feeling frustrated, confused or stymied. When you become aware of your emotional indicators that you’re not letting yourself have what you really want, question the thoughts involved.

Once you recognize the beliefs running that are holding up your party, then you can engage one or more of the following tips …

2. Rethink the situation.
Give up thinking it’s impossible, because as you think, so shall it be. As long as conflicting thoughts are in place, you’re blocking your desires from manifesting.

Be willing to think it differently. Give Universe some room to work on your behalf. You can take higher power off its leash by simply releasing your limiting thoughts that you can’t have what you want.

A simple way to do that is to ask yourself what you really want. What’s the true desire (or desires) flowing here?
(Hint: it often boils down to a feeling.) It’s just your physical mind that’s not capable of conceiving how that could happen.

3. Practice the satisfaction or success of it.
Once you know what you really want and how that would feel, all you have to do is practice feeling that now.

What would it feel like to have your cake and eat it, too? If you could have the best of all worlds, how would that feel?

That’s the vibration you want to activate now.

4. Get out of Universe’s way, until it calls you.
Once you’re feeling it (the vibration of what you want when you get to have it all), all you do next is whatever sounds good.

Follow your inner guidance and do whatever higher power calls you to.

It is seriously that simple.

Here’s a personal example of how this played out for me some time ago:

Shortly after ending a three year celibacy streak, I found myself in the company of two fabulous men.
Not at the exact same time, mind you.

But they were in my life at the same time. And they were both amazing. I could gush about them endlessly. I was seriously head over heels for both of them.

The only problem being that I wasn’t in my personal integrity to see two men at the same time.

Yes, they knew about each other, but that didn’t help me feel fine about it.

I knew I had to choose. But I couldn’t! I wanted both of these amazing men to be in my life!

I didn’t want to cut anyone loose. I wanted to enjoy them both!

I had already tried seeing them simultaneously and it absolutely did not work for me.

To really feel like I was investing in an intimate relationship, I needed to focus energies into just one love.

But I wanted both!

My body even started to show signs of stress from the situation, with a bout of insomnia and a mysterious tooth pain that came and went randomly.

On my way to the dentist, I looked up teeth in Louise Hay’s You Can Heal Your Life. “Indecision.” Yikes, she nailed that one!

When the dentist was unable to find the source of anything causing the pain, I blurted out that I knew what it was. “It’s indecision! I love two men and had to choose one!”

He didn’t miss a beat. “That easy,” he said. “Who has more money?”

Sigh. If only it were that simple.

So there I was in a quandary about loving two men and knowing I could only have one.

I also didn’t want to hurt either of them. And they were both into me, too – the last thing I wanted to do was break anyone’s heart.

Finally I realized I was doing it.

I had painted myself into an impossible corner with my thoughts.

Once I was in my right LOA mind, I realized I don’t have to know how to get what I want.

All I have to do is be willing to feel it now.

Pretend I got what I wanted – how would that feel?

I reflected on it …

What I really wanted was for everyone to be happy. Just for all three of us to love each other and to be happy. To have this love triangle resolved in a harmonious way.

That’s it.

And Universe, I have no idea how you’re going to do it – but that’s what I want.

I conjured the vibration of happiness and relief and satisfaction (just by imagining that all three of us were ridiculously happy together), and let it go.

Guess what happened next?

One of my guys had his head turned by a very special friend in his life. He never knew there were romantic possibilities there, but he felt compelled to check that out.

Which cleared the way without me even having to do or decide anything!

I got to have my lover, I got to keep both of these guys in my life (the other one just as a friend since he passed me up for another woman), and we all got to be happy! No broken hearts (although I did have a bruised ego for a small moment), no impossible decisions, I didn’t have to learn how to be okay with a threesome, and I had a fabulous lover and an amazing friend.

I never would have thought that all three of us were going to be happy if I were only seeing one of them.

But Universe is cool like that.

It knows how to get you where you want to be. All you have to do is be a vibrational match to it and let it do the work for you.

So if there’s something you’ve been believing you can’t have because it conflicts with something else you want, like:

  • to be a successful business owner while still rocking it out as a stay at home mom
  • to be physically fit without stepping foot in a gym or watching a single calorie
  • to make fabulous money without ever working another day in your life

– just get out of your own way and let Universe do the magic for you.

You cue that magic by releasing the obstacle thoughts and being willing to feel now how you would feel then.

That’s how expensive courses end up gifted, or how even better resources appear. It’s how perfect business opportunities are unveiled that allow you to still be the mom you want to be. It’s how the perfect house sitter appears to make you delighted to leave home, or how Freddy Silva shows up in your own home town to study the latest crop circle.

It’s just amazing how Universe can put together what you want when you get out of your own way.

Pretty cool system we’re playing with, huh? 😉

  • October 16, 2016
  • Jennifer tilley says:

    I am taking away from this – i believe – the essence for which Jeannette’s example was intended… That, despite feeling stuck between a rock and a hard place; that there are solutions to life’s seeming problems. A great example, in my opinion…. As relationships – having so much of an emotional ‘kick’ can send our vibes reeling with their impact.

  • Jeannette says:

    It sounds like you’ve got some heartbreak to process before you do anything else … but once you’re in a place where you’ve honored the feelings that are present, I would suggest getting to the heart of your desire. Which is always a feeling. That’s something you can work with effectively, Tee. 🙂

  • Tee says:

    I’m gonna apologize in advance for asking questions with (I think) very obvious answers. Right now I’m in the middle of a break-up/breakdown. I feel very hurt, lost, confused and depressed. It wasn’t exactly mutual. It was a matter of me pushing the issue because I couldn’t take it anymore.
    Long story short, there were lots of unresolved things in the relationship & it seemed like we were stuck. Each day that passes, I feel more & more like he’s slipping further away. I think about him constantly & I stare at my phone alot.
    When we do see each other (we have a 3 year old son)…it’s cordial but it feels very strained & awkward. I wish that we could talk about US & getting back together but it hasn’t happened yet.
    I feel like he doesn’t care anymore about me, I feel so tempted to reach out to him but apparently he needs a little bit of space right now as he told a very close relative. I’m not feeling very positive at all. I don’t have too many supportive people left because they’re sick of me talking about him/our issues.
    HE said that I never talk to him, only to online people & that I brought trust issues into the relationship. He’s a very outgoing guy (adhd?) who is always on the move, I always felt like I was competing with everything/everyone for his love & attention.
    I feel like I *know* what I should do.
    Get out. Make friends. Socialize. Dress up a bit. Stop being home all of the time, etc. Things he’s suggested over the years but I couldn’t seem to MAKE myself do it consistently.
    I’m just so down at the moment. How will/can things turn around when he barely sees me? How can I feel better when I feel like I was just swallowed whole by some monster? How can I turn this around in my favor?

  • Elizabeth says:

    This post is so timely. Thanks Jeannette. I’ve manifested an amazing job opportunity (one that I’ve been working to attract) but the timing is off. What are your thoughts on opportunities when the timing isn’t right? Do you keep working with it, so it will happen at the right time? Or do you move on and release it? So frustrating to hear people say ‘the timing just isn’t right’. I want to make the timing right! 🙂 Thank you.

    • Jeannette says:

      If you keep your focus on what you want (and how you want to feel), and take your attention off of wrong timing, Universe will find a way to sort it all out perfectly.
      It might also be worth opening to other ideas about what “right timing” might actually be.
      Here’s to everything working out perfectly for you, Elizabeth! 🙂

  • anonymous says:

    This, of course, came at a great time for me….I have been telling myself lots of limiting things, based on what seemed “possible”….this client was only going to spend so much, that client was never going to be pleased, the potential clients were never going to call. (Cancel, cancel, cancel!!)There was some evidence….but I know better than to accept the evidence. I am on it –#3 — practice the vibe of success and satisfaction.
    Great story about the two guys…Happy you are still friends….it worked out pretty elegantly.

    • Jeannette says:

      I thought so, too, anonymous. (Re the elegant unfolding.)
      Here’s to replacing those thoughts that weren’t serving you and letting Universe deliver exactly what you want – and even better! 🙂

  • sian says:

    Hey Jeannette,
    I love your posts and have really started working on getting my vibrations just right (in fact its coming naturally) I just get a little confused about the action part. Should you take any action if the universe is presenting you with the opportunity? I have met a guy and my gut says ask him out and could he be in my path because of the universe? What do I do?!

    • Jeannette says:

      If you’re lined up with a great relationship/love experience and your gut says ask him out – that’s your cue to act! That’s the definition of inspired action right there, slan! woo hoo!! 🙂

  • lilac says:

    Hey Jeannette!
    This post really speaks to me right now. I am in desperate need of money (to buy the equipment I need to record my EP, as well as to move out of my parents’ house.) I’ve been applying left and right for jobs, many of which are minimum wage and have few requirements for applying, but I haven’t been able to get any of them! I thought it would be much easier to find a job, and now I’m freaking out because I really need the money. I don’t know what I’m going to do. I had planned to release my EP by the end of this year, but with no money for even basic recording equipment and effects units, I won’t be able to. Do you or anyone have experience in manifesting money when you really need it? I don’t understand why all the action I’ve been taking with my job search, online sales and networking aren’t paying off.

  • JCE says:

    Hi Jeanette,
    I was curious how quickly you saw results after asking the U to take care of this for you? And how quickly for any other manifestations? My biggest struggle is letting go of the need, trusting. At least when I’m not vibing in a higher space. And then I wonder how soon until I see a result. I know, all LOA no-nos.
    I’m a very effective manifestor, accept when it comes to that 2 or 3 things I’ve been trying to manifest since years, or think I’ve let go but obviously haven’t because they aren’t here yet.
    Thank you!

    • namaste says:

      I know you requested feedback from Jeannette. I wanted to share this really quickly though because I know what it’s like to not have something desire that I really, really wanted. Years ago, I decided I wanted to manifest the woman of my dreams. I did everything I always do but for some reason, I didn’t get a result. Three months passed, then six months, then a year passed and I hadn’t even gone on a single date. I was beyond frustrated (yes, I know an LOA no-no but I couldn’t help it).
      One day I was driving home and I realized that the problem couldn’t be the law of attraction (the law of attraction always works), it couldn’t be my manifesting formula (it continued to work for other things), so the only reason I wasn’t getting a result had to be me. I had to be the problem and THAT MADE NO SENSE. I realized the only way I could be the problem is if I didn’t actually want the woman of my dreams to show up. So I asked myself, “Why would I NOT want the woman of my dreams to show up?” To my shock and surprise, I wrote down reason after reason. Now it was super obvious why the woman of my dreams wasn’t manifesting. On one hand, I was telling the Universe I wanted the one. On the other hand, I had all these reasons why I didn’t want her to show up. The Universe didn’t know whether it should bring her to me or keep her away from me because of the mixed signals I was sending out. I proceeded to find solutions to the reasons I’d written down about why I didn’t want her to show up. After I was done releasing the resistance, within four weeks, four women showed up in my life. I went from not being able to get a date to having too many options. Thankfully, the right choice was clear and soon I was happily in a relationship.
      From what you wrote, you’re an experienced manifester, so you know that in 99% of the cases, the only reason your long term desires haven’t manifested is because of the resistance you still hold towards them. You’ve got nothing to lose by trying out that hidden resistance identifying question. I’ve used it a number of times over the years to uncover hidden resistance that then allowed desires to manifest.

      • JCE says:

        I’m so excited to have a response from you! I’ve been reading Jeanette’s blog since a while now and I really enjoy reading your comments.
        The example you gave me is interesting, because my one of two main desires is a specific man. And I know many out there are saying oh no, not again. But in my case it’s a question of my intuition.
        About 3 years ago I met a man briefly out of the blue, but intuitively knew he was different from anyone I’d ever met. Something told me he would have a significant impact on my life. And it freaked me out, because I figured the only way that could be is if it was in a romantic nature. I’m already married, and found out some time later so is he. Oddly enough on our first several encounters I never even picked up energetically on that. The crazy thing is I “felt” an available vibe from him. In fact I didn’t even see the wedding ring that was plainly on his finger for quite some time!
        Several months after meeting he worked on a project with me for 6 months. A building project. I hesitated to call him even thought intuitively I knew I needed him for this project out of fear of what may come of it. (I’m in my late 30’s, he’s a couple years older than me.) During the project he was persistently giving me cues of his interest, although never crossed any lines. Neither of us did. I’ve only shaken his hand twice. But the connection we experienced, the things we have in common, the weird synchronicities just blew me away. The chemistry and electricity was mind blowing!
        I’ve been looking and waiting since child hood to unite with my ideal match. And after I married my second spouse I gave up on the idea. Thought it’s just something you see in the movies or read in novels, until I met him.
        Fast forward to now, I see him at least twice a week for a community related thing. There is still chemistry and resistance between us. He’s a respected person in our community. He would have a great deal to lose by pursuing me. But I have never been able to shake the thought/feeling that he and I will be together somehow. It’s as if this has been decided, like it’s out of my control. I’ve tried to give him up, move on, forget about him. I feel like my higher self is steering this ship and I’m throwing resistance on the trail left and right, but it’s all out of my control. Like it’s been decided!
        Other odd thing, since February I’ve been seeing numbers every day. Like 33, 44 and 11:11. But I decided many moons ago that 44 was “our” number. A number that would signify my relationship with him. And most of the time this number finds me up to 20 times a day. I know Abraham says a number is whatever we want it to mean. So there it is.
        When I’m aligned I feel without a doubt the relationship is a done deal. But ignoring “what is” often gets to me. I experienced such a high vibing state last month by focusing on being in my dream relationship that my reality started to unfold exactly as I would imagine it. I felt truly powerful, it was amazing! And I even manifested a lovely warm encounter with my specific person. (Sometimes I wonder if I’m the specific person he’s trying to manifest although I’m not aware of him doing LOA work. Normally physically he wouldn’t have been my type.)
        It seems after positive moments together, then come resistant situations. I believe he and I are creating these blocks together with both of our energies. Because when I’m aligned with the desire of him, my heart chakra lights up and I FEEL him on every level of my being. ( I had never experienced heart energy until after we started working together. And I also started to feel unconditional love for myself when we were working together. That was a first as I had never been able to love myself before. He somehow brought that out in me.)
        What I have experienced since meeting him has changed my life. He’s changed me, made me grow and I’ve experienced things I have otherwise never experienced before. Last month I felt a connection with him that was out of body, it sort of scared me.
        Back to your suggestion, I know you’re right on. There is so much resistance around this subject. And I do everything right in my process like you. And now almost 3 years after knowing I LOVE this person like I’ve never loved another in my life, I’m still not with him. I’ve even forced myself recently to grieve the loss of any hope. It was so painful, like I would rather die than feel the pain anymore. I guess it goes to show I have far too much attachment. It’s hard when this person feels connected to you on a heart and soul level. And I believe he loves me. I’ve seen evidence of his devotion for me. So this isn’t a case of one sided desire and love.
        At this point, I need and want relief from it all. And as much as I want to give up, something in me simply won’t allow it. I feel so out of control and sometimes lost. Which as an effective manifestor frustrates me. I know my stuff.
        Namaste- you mentioned in a recent comment that intuition knows because this “thing” has already happened. I believe it was a trip to South America that was nagging at you? Can you fill me in more on your thoughts of intuition? I’ve recognized mine early on in life and she’s never wrong. So it throws me for a loop when it comes to this man, my love.
        I need to get out of the way, and let the Universe guide this into place. But it’s hard when I have to look his wife in the eye every week. But at this point I’ve been playing in as many different spaces as possible to see what works best. Tired of doing the same thing over and over again and getting the same result.
        Thank you for your helpful insights and lots of love. 🙂

        • namaste says:

          I learned a long time ago that you can truly have anything or anyone you can get into alignment with. I’ve aligned with specific women manifesting in my life a number of times so when people say, “You shouldn’t focus on specific people, I roll my eyes because I’ve successfully done it.”
          That said, my experience has also shown me that if you can’t remove the resistance, it’s almost certain that it won’t happen. I say “almost certain” because I’ve seen people experience intense, overriding desire that blasts through all resistance and creates a miracle. However, while I’ve experienced those things myself, I don’t know how to manually create them. So either I experience the intense, overriding desire that creates the miracle or I work at removing the specific resistance.
          You’ve obviously experiencing a very strong desire for this man. However, if it were the kind of intense, overriding desire I’m talking about that blasts through resistance to create a miracle, that would have “likely” already happened. I say “likely” because I don’t know for sure. Just sharing my experience. So if I were in your shoes, I’d be spending my time releasing the specific resistance that is holding this relationship back from manifesting in your life. I’d start with that question I suggested.
          Now, for some stories…
          Years ago, I had a client who felt that her high school sweetheart was “the one.” The problem was that he dumped her when they got to college. She moved on and dated other people but she still felt he was her guy (she felt this way even though he’d gotten married). Like everyone else, I told her she should move on. She wasn’t willing to do that. She decided he was going to be hers or she was going to end up old and alone. A while after she and I parted ways, she met this guy in a Starbucks in her hometown. He was in the middle of a divorce. They reconnected, got married, now they have two kids and are very happily married. It took over a decade for her desire to manifest but it did.
          Years ago, a friend of mine said she was going to see her friend Kelli. As soon as my friend mentioned Kelli’s name, I felt a strong pull. From that point forward, I couldn’t get Kelli out of my mind. Eventually, I met Kelli and I was overcome with desire. I mean… it was insane. She and I connected and we kept in touch but nothing happened to take it to the next level. I tried to forget her. I tried to get her out of my mind. Finally, I sat down with her and told her what I was experiencing. She liked me but she wasn’t feeling it the same way. I thought hearing that would end it. It didn’t. Finally, the mom of a friend of mine gave me the prayer of release. She promised me that if I said it, either my feelings for Kelli would subside or they wouldn’t. If they didn’t, something between Kelli and I needed to be explored further. I said the prayer and that was it. The intense feelings soon went away. Here’s the prayer of release https://goodvibeblog.com/help-with-letting-go/ I still don’t know why I had the intense attraction for Kelli. I do not chase people. One thing I’ve thought of, is that as the years have passed, it’s obvious that Kelli and I are called to a very similar career path. Maybe it was me recognizing a peer with a similar dream? Hopefully, one day I’ll figure it out. All I know now though is that prayer really did release me and I’ll always be grateful for that.
          Years after my Kelli experience, I met another woman. When we’d accidentally touch, I’d physically feel electricity move through my arm. I’d never had that experience ever. It soon became clear that she was feeling a similar attraction to me. The problem was she was married. We never did anything that was out of integrity but eventually we talked about things (in a somewhat indirect way). Based on our lifestyles though there was no future for us. Today, she is still married (and she seems happy). We still keep in touch. I often call her for her birthday. The attraction continues but it’s not meant to be (at least in this lifetime).
          I once read the biography of Ray Kroc (the guy who turned the fast food franchise McDonalds into a global powerhouse). He was at a convention and met the wife of a franchisor. They had an instant connection. The problem was they were both married to other people. Years passed, he couldn’t stop thinking about her. Eventually, he talked to her and she admitted she felt the same way but she wasn’t going to leave her husband. The feelings for both of them didn’t stop and eventually they both divorced and then married each other. Some people would say this is bad. Personally, if my spouse was meant to be with another. I’d rather the person go, instead of staying with me, knowing I’m not the one.
          If you can’t remove the resistance to allow the relationship to come to you naturally, and you say the prayer of release but your feelings don’t subside, I’d encourage you to see if you can talk to this guy directly. There is no sense in spending additional years of your life tied to this guy and nothing coming from it. Sometimes action is the appropriate move.
          Lastly, to address your question about intuition. My intuition told me to plan a trip to Costa Rica, instead of Thailand. It made no sense until I’d already purchased my plane ticket to Thailand. I then found out that my best friends were going to be traveling in Central America at the same time. If I’d gone to Costa Rica, I’d have been able to travel with them.
          The thing I’ve noticed about intuitive guidance is sometimes it’s hard to know why exactly we’re getting it. Maybe this guy is meant to be your husband? Maybe it’s something else? One thing that has really helped me, in figuring out exactly what my intuition is trying to tell me, is realizing that I can talk with my intuition directly, like I can talk to a person. It takes a little practice but if already have a solid connection with your intuition, opening up a dialogue should be pretty easy to do. The way I do it is by saying, “I want to talk to my intuition/higher self/whatever your pet word is.” Then I wait and type, “Hello” on my computer and I wait. My intuition responds and then I begin to ask and get answers directly. At first, it might feel like you’re talking to yourself. However, you can tell by the quality of the answers you’re getting if you’re doing that or not. I’d try that and see what happens. It doesn’t always work for me (especially, when I’m frustrated or wanting to force an outcome) but it does work, more often than not. This is the same technique Neale Donald Walsch used in his famous book Conversations With God.
          Wishing you fun weekend,

        • JCE says:

          You’re a gem, thank you so much for taking the time to write out your experiences and those of others.
          What you said initially in the previous comment already got the ball rolling for me. Knowing that this hard core underlying resistance is blocking me from receiving this dream and at least one other (that’s 9 years in the making) really resonated.
          I was planning between this evening and tomorrow evening to sit down and write out the list of why I wouldn’t want this thing to happen. And at work today I was already mentally doing it. And the relief and solutions to these silly beliefs were already surfacing and resolving.
          I had an unusual circumstance happen at work where I took a break at a time I normally wouldn’t have, and decided to Google resistance and came across this blog post: http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2006/11/manifesting-intentions-without-resistance/
          And it was also EXACTLY what I needed to hear. I love how answers start to come when I open myself up to them.
          The last couple of months I’ve reached a point of not wanting to continue as I have the last couple of years. Like it’s time to figure this thing out and move forward. You’re example of the woman who needed 10 years to manifest her husband resonated too. Because I came across a forum thread a few days ago about a woman who has manifested men in her life, but waited anywhere from a few months to 4 years for one man and 6 years for the other. I see these things as signs. I’m being guided through this journey and I’m hearing exactly what I need to hear. I can’t put a time frame on this thing.
          I know I need to dream big, let the Universe figure things out and in the mean time love life like I’m supposed to. And I think I’m on my way. It’s time to truly trust the process and give up on “what is”.
          Namaste, thank you for helping me co-create this moment. I’m at a point of big change, and the momentum the last few months has been mind blowing. I can feel the change coming, whatever it is.
          I am truly grateful, thanks again. 🙂

        • JCE says:

          Also just said your prayer of release 3 times. If it’s not meant to be a good thing I want it to move on from me.

        • namaste says:

          I’m glad what I had to say was of value. And thanks for posting Steve’s article. I read it years ago but I’d forgotten about it. I love the hidden fear identifying exercise in it. =)

        • april says:

          JCE – I routinely get emails from http://www.sharonpopetruth.com/# who is a relationship counselor and she does Truth and Clarity sessions. The email I rec’d from her today was basically your story. It was about a woman and man who were having a Facebook affair. They had previously known each other but were currently in unhappy relationships. The woman was in misery and didn’t know what to do. Sharon said she was not judgmental about these sorts of situations and offers relationship expertise. IF I were you, I would contact Sharon and have her guide you and get some relief.

        • april says:

          JCI – If you go to the website I referenced above, and go under the “Blog” tab, there’s an article named “The Facebook Affair” that I rec’d in an email from Sharon today. I thought of you as I read the article. Good luck with everything.

    • Jeannette says:

      I love it when Namaste weighs in with his experience. 🙂
      To answer your question about how long it took before I saw results … to the best of my recollection, it was a matter of days. I’m thinking like four days. And that’s not unusual when I’ve got my good groove on. Sometimes I hold it up if I’m still sweating the outcome or trying to make it happen myself, but days to weeks isn’t unusual for me.
      Having said that, there are some situations where my vibes are kinky enough that it drags it out longer, but I know that’s just more chance for me to get straight with myself and to practice enjoying the journey instead of holding my breath until I get what I want. 🙂

      • JCE says:

        Thank you Jeanette for sharing this. And also for sharing in the post what you said to the Universe and you really turned it over and left it out of your hands. I think that’s so important and I hope a quality I can adopt much more!
        I love this blog, thank you for creating such an amazing space for love, joy and personal growth.

  • sauterelle says:

    I was calling a subset of this ‘seesaw thinking’ earlier — I realized I had the deeply held assumption that if one thing got better, another had to get worse. Cake list time….
    This was a great post and I loved the story of the two loves.

  • Steffy says:

    This post was directly responsible for me creating an enjoyable 12 hour stay at LAX (yeah seriously) and $500 worth of goodies, including a free upgrade to first class. Many thanks!!

  • Kimberly says:

    Best article ever! Just reading it made me so happy. Love it! Thanks for the great example.

  • Lizette says:

    A very timely post, as ALWAYS.
    Making a decision when I’m conflicted is not that hard for me – I use cake lists and it turns out just fine. That’s my easiest manifesting power.
    Turning my mind upright when it’s upside down, therein lies the challenge. Sometimes (often, lately) I have extreme conflicting beliefs that run extremely deep – at gut level – and make it impossible to choose the “better feeling thought”. It probably stems from my desire to walk in integrity…
    Either way, your post held some fantastic food for thought on some other aspects for me right now.
    Thanks so much for sharing.

  • Pam Beall says:

    Love love love this post. Thank you for sharing it.

  • Christy says:

    Great post – as usual Jeannette. I was in your shoe once and that was before I knew anything about LoA. To cut it short, I think I prefer to be monogamous ;p
    Anyway, you made me realize that I’m not as open to possibilities as I thought I was. So I’ve been wanting to be self-employed but I have these thoughts that I might get bored because I wouldn’t have colleagues. That must have been a block that I didn’t relize until you spelled it out. Thanks so much for helping me see. I always enjoy your post and really appreciate your work and your briliiant ideas!! Here’s to a fabulous life as a deliberate creator!!

    • Jeannette says:

      That can be a big one that holds us back, Christy. Kudos to you for seeing it in the light of day so you can choose otherwise for yourself! 🙂

  • Jeri says:

    Great post! I love how these posts are at the perfect time i need them!

  • Namaste says:

    Great article, perfect timing, great confirmation.
    Recently, I realized a desire I’ve been wrestling with really is possible. Seeing this post is a great confirmation of that realization =)

    • Jeannette says:

      Yeah, I sometimes forget this myself and wrestle with two seemingly opposing desires before I remember how it all works. Here’s to perfect timing and great confirmations! 🙂

  • Elle says:

    “You cue that magic by releasing the obstacle thoughts and being willing to feel now how you would feel then”. So, basically, stop overthinking and start feeling the way having it feels and you are on your way there, correct?
    This appeared at the right time for me, as always! Thank you U and Jeannette!

    • Jeannette says:

      It is just that simple! So simple that lots of folks overlook it, because we’re so used to thinking that having what we want is hard work.
      Here’s to letting it be easy! 🙂

  • Elle says:

    “You cue that magic by releasing the obstacle thoughts and being willing to feel now how you would feel then”. So, basically, stop overthinking and start feeling the way having it feels and you are on your way there, correct?
    This appeared at the right time for me, as always! Thank you U and Jeannette!

  • Sharon says:

    Beautiful post, perfect timing, super!!!!!

  • Deesker says:

    My initial reaction to the two lovers was a desperation vibe coming from you. I don’t know. I see no spirituality involved in your decision making process. It’s like “I can have anything I want” and that involves making low energy decisions such as sleeping with 2 guys at the same time. It’s nothing more than an ego boost. You even said your ego was “bruised” when the one lover met someone else and started a relationship with them. I don’t get it. I wish to empower myself. This does not include sleeping with multiple men. Maybe do some spiritual work if you have someone that you use. While you got what you wanted, did you really?

    • anonymous says:

      Wanting everyone to reach a happy ending is not low energy….
      Judge not and all that…

    • Jeannette says:

      Deesker, I think you missed the part where two lovers was exactly what didn’t work for me. I have nothing against people who can do that, but I have not found myself to be one of them. Yet. Who knows what the future holds? I’m open. 😉
      And yes, what I wanted was for everyone to be happy, and that’s exactly what unfolded. (In fact, I’m still happy to be friends with both of them to this day.) 🙂

    • Namaste says:

      While this might seem really odd idea, it’s REALLY worth considering. Whatever hooks us about someone else, is often a direct reflection of something we can’t stand about ourselves.
      One day, I was taking a Kabbalah class and the instructor had us write down the things we can’t stand about other people. At the top of my list was “people who drive slow.” Then the instructor said, “Whatever you wrote at the top of your list is ultimately something you can’t stand about yourself!” The class went wild. NOBODY LIKED THAT POINT. While I don’t drive slow, I realized that ultimately the reason slow drivers, slow lines, slow anything bugged me was because I felt like I was making such slow progress on my dreams (at the time). I was lashing out at “slow people” and ultimately I was one of them =)
      What is it about Jeannette’s dating situation that hooked you and why is it related to something about yourself? If you can’t see anything, you might also consider your reaction is a possible sign of jealousy. She has two amazing men and you don’t have one. If that’s the case, all you have to do is release the resistance and you’ll find yours too.
      P.S. Maybe you don’t know this but human sexuality can be measured on a scale from 1 – 6. The 1 being totally monogamous, 6 being totally polyamorous, and 3 being able to go either way. Most people would fall somewhere in between 1 and 6. Years ago, I finally came to terms with the fact that I’m poly and land as a 4 on the scale. It meant ending a marriage to an amazing woman (thankfully we’re still friends) and realizing that I can only date in the poly community. Thankfully, it all worked out and now I’m able to experience being in love with more than one at the same time, without having to give one up like Jeannette did. For more info on polyamory, check out https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/157344295X/ref=pd_sim_14_1?ie=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=XBBVCZGK8X8FT2EQXER3

      • Jeannette says:

        Namaste, I was just thinking about how much more fun it would be if I could roll with more than one at a time. And I thought – what’s my limiting belief that’s keeping me from that? Then your post appeared to further open a whole new door.
        I love this stuff works!! 🙂

      • Deesker says:

        Hey Namaste, I can assure you jealousy it not the reason why I reacted the way that I did. I believe in empowering myself as a woman and sleeping with 2 guys at the same time is not empowering one’s self. If you’re cool with sleeping with multiple women then so be it but innately there is something lacking in you, meaning perhaps a fear of intimacy? I am perfectly content to be single and when the right person comes along, I will be perfectly content to be with that person also. Sleeping with multiple men at the same time is not something that I would ever be interested in. I believe in the sanctity of having an intimate relationship with one person bc I believe that’s how God created us and I think to have multiple partners at one time will always prove to be a dead end emotionally. Just my thoughts, btw.

        • Jeannette says:

          I’m so glad that everyone gets to pick for themselves, and that we don’t have to agree what’s best in order to enjoy what we want most. 🙂

        • namaste says:

          I have a lot of monogamous friends (people who are born hardwired as 1’s on the human scale of sexual preferences) so now I understand why you feel the way you do. The idea of being in a loving relationship with more than one goes against everything you know and hold dear. As it should, you born a 1 after all.
          Most people realize that people are born gay or straight. We’re only beginning to realize that people are also born hardwired to be monogamous, somewhere in between or polyamorous. I think it’s pretty clear from what you wrote that you’ve never met anyone who is polyamorous and therefore don’t know anything about polyamory. Which is very understandable, most poly people aren’t open because of the fear of being judged.
          Polyamory is NOT a choice for people who are a 4 or more on the scale. I didn’t wake up one day and think, “I’m bored being married to the woman of my dreams, I think I’ll flip my life upside down, get divorced and go poly.” Today, I’m so thankful that I finally accepted this about myself but it wasn’t easy. The main thing I want to point out to you is that polyamory is NOT swinging. Swingers are into casual sex with multiple people. The last thing on earth they want is a relationship. Polyamory is ALL about LOVING RELATIONSHIPS with more than one (so I don’t think intimacy is an issue for me). Very few poly people have more than two primary relationships for the simple fact that it’s too much work to maintain more. Additionally, poly people only date other poly people. And everyone knows about everything (this isn’t cheating).
          In closing, I’m glad to hear that jealousy isn’t what caused you to react the way you did. Abraham makes a great point that jealousy is just a sign that you don’t think you can have what another has. However, that doesn’t mean shifting the jealousy is easy (I know this one from personal experience). Well, here’s to wishing you that the right person for you comes along at the perfect time =)

        • Steffy says:

          Fascinating discussion. I saw a friend who I’ve known 5 years when I was in LA last week. He has a form of polyamory worked out for himself that is working well for him. He has tested this… and the formula is up to 3 primaries who he is physically and emotionally intimate with, and however many auxiliaries who he is either physically or emotionally intimate with but not both. His 3 primaries have the right to have their other primaries. The interesting twist is he seems to find primaries who are bisexual so sometimes their other primaries besides him are women. I’m listening to this… and thanking my lucky stars that I no longer need to judge people who do things I wouldn’t. When you listen with an open mind, it’s an interesting concept. It is NOT for everyone and he acknowledges that. But it is working for him and his circle. I thought for several days about whether I could do something like that, which meant leaving behind my Midwestern values and religious beliefs. I tested it out in my head. I think it is not for me. We’re all consenting adults, so pick what works for you. Deesker, polyamory is a choice for some and I say live and let live, they aren’t hurting us or anyone else. I like that Jeannette opened up and told this story.

        • Elle says:

          It is about time we talked about this topic! I think we are all born polyamorous and that was the only way to roll in the higher yugas, but as the vibration decreased, we were made to be monogamous because the powers that be were afraid too much information would be exchanged in pillow talk. It was a way to manipulate the masses, you see. Marriage did not exist before a certain period of time and I think it will disintegrate one day as well, along with the use of money. And no, this is not radical at all, it is just the way things are according to periods. Yes, you may be monogamous now, but if that did not exist, would you be? It was not considered immoral or anything bad. Also, sexaully transitted diseases were not so rampant. I think that is a product of bad feelings towards sex and the fact that it is seen as dirty of something. I could go on but I will stop here.

      • Danielle says:

        This is so true Namaste! I remember my awesome dad would periodically make a snide comment about someone who he felt was overweight when he himself was what most folks would consider overweight! And my sexy hubby will instantly start growling if he is driving and someone is tailgating us-you guessed it, he is a big tailgater himself! Oh Irony!

    • Apsara says:

      I think this says more about you than Jeannette.
      Get off your sanctimonious ass and spend some time in peace with yourself and really think about things.
      I personally found her story adorable, human and EMPOWERING. Oh dear, is that very bad and sinful of moi??
      Anyhoo, why can’t she think about 2 men? What’s bad about sexuality? What’s the deal about having one’s ego bruised? I mean seriously????
      Spirituality involves the “whole” so maybe think about that before casting thy stones.

    • Angel says:

      So like wow.. this thread took a life of it’s own, starting with the “desperation vibe”.
      I’m going to add my 2 cents here, albeit late in the game. I really hope this doesn’t discourage Jeanette or anyone of us to share such intimate experiences honestly and openly.
      First, the perspective of sleeping with 2 guys as being a “low energy decision” is strictly an interpretation IMO. There are all sorts of assumptions that need to be made to make that statement. In the same way that there would be if someone were to insist the reverse i.e. that celibacy & monogamy are the only way to go.
      I’m personally monogamous. But I’ve definitely had empowering moments of having a rotation of lovers I entertained with mutual consent. We were not “using” each other – though someone could certainly take that low rent view. This happened for me during a deeply introspective and spiritual time in my life where I wanted to just explore the essence of various people I was lucky enough to have enter my sphere. Interestingly enough, this happened after I experienced terrible betrayals and it was part of my healing to remain open to others even if not committed. While I didn’t define myself as polyamorous, there was ongoing honesty with those partners in varying degrees – degrees each chose btw, some were happy to know they were one of a few, some needed more details.
      Second, when we talk about spirituality, let’s be clear that it’s not strictly Judeo-Christian. It’s about presence, connection and meaning. I think if all those three things are present, it doesn’t matter whatever configuration love or the exploration of love takes – provided all are aware and consenting. Or that love should always certainly be deep or intense, not everyone is made for that or wants that. Does this mean we deprive others or ourselves of knowing and experiencing because of a difference in capacity?
      Third, was it an emotional dead end? Not for the time it lasted. I think the moment I felt or one of them felt more was desired, we either discussed it or tacitly understood it was time to move on. There was a gratefulness and appreciation in the companionship and intimacy I shared with my lovers, because it wasn’t about endurance i.e.”will you be with me forever” but more about presence, “thank you for holding my hand and being with me, thank you for seeing me as I am right now”.
      A flower’s life has no less meaning than ours because it’s short lived. It’s simply that – a flower.
      Fourth, while Jeanette has talked a lot about LOA in terms of attracting what she wants/needs – it has always been from the platform of personal authenticity. I believe really this is the only stage any of us can speak from. I’m a little perturbed that “I can have anything I want” has been presented as frivolous and/or capricious.
      As anyone engaged in LOA knows, there is the intense hard work of self-understanding, identifying old beliefs, choosing new ones and making the constant decision to move from one good feel to the next – in an effort to be a better, more authentic presence in the world. She might make it sound easy but we all know those depths of utter contrast that hit us before we can launch into those shifts.
      Not many people talk about those terrible lows because they hurt and they’re hard to relive, but they are definitely a critical part of what brings us to a better flow.
      Anyway this is a great article on not having to settle for “this or that” but for the “and-and” possibilities we can entertain if we only allow ourselves. With any such work, I think any base or negative desires tend to find themselves thwarted because our truth is always trying to speak to us through the muddied windows of our life perspective, and if we’re paying attention, we keep on taking off layer after layer till we find what rings true.

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