July 20, 2011

Kim Falconer: Manifesting Love with Lists

Today’s guest post is by the renowned Kim Falconer, who shares her thoughts about the manifesting habit of making lists to attract love:
making your listRecently I listened to a GVU call that was part of a series on Dating in the Vortex and focused on the “two list” approach to attracting worthy dates.
The exercise got me thinking about list making altogether, especially when it involves another. Talk about conditional love! The thought of someone ticking off my appearance, traits, IQ and emotional responses against a set list felt odd. No, more than that. It felt creepy.
Are we missing the point of relationship when we preordain who the ‘other’ must be?
It’s a bit like making a robot and programming it to our specs. I don’t know about you but when I watched I, Robot it was Sunny and his unpredictability I cheered for, not the thousands of other robots that all behaved the way they were ‘supposed’ to.
Don’t get me wrong. Lists are valuable. They tell us things about ourselves. For example, if I make a ‘my new sweetie’ (MNS) list and it goes like this: MNS is rich, smart, funny, gorgeous, adventurous, independent, fit and must love cats, I can ask, what does this say about me?
It says, I want to be rich, smart, funny, gorgeous, adventurous, independent, fit and surrounded by cats. The list is never about ‘them’. It’s about us, and when we get that, we can stop ‘needing’ others to be x,y or z and be that ourselves. Then we enjoy the new sweetie for who they are. Period.
Besides showing us what we want to become, the MNS list can point out why we want what it is we want. Armed with that knowledge we can get to the feeling place now, before MNS shows up. Does everyone know the “why do I want that” exercise?
Start with the top of the list. It might be I want to date a man with $$$. Underneath that statement we ask, why do I want that? It might go like this:

I want to date a man with $$$.
Why do I want that?

So I don’t have to pay for everything myself.
Why do I want that?

So someone looks after me for a change.
Why do I want that?

So I will feel special.

In this case, we don’t give a hoot about their bank account. What we really want is to feel special.
Go through your MNS list and ask ‘why you want it’ to find out what you are really after. Most of these core desires are an inside job and the more we do things for ourselves that contribute to wholeness, the less we need the ‘other’ to conform to our list.
When we stop expecting other people to fulfill us, we can fulfill ourselves. Does that leave the door open for true relationship or what?
The other great thing about the MNS list is it tunes our radar for those traits we’re after. If I say my sweetie is generous, kind, hot, funny, smart, sporty etc I am cuing my unconscious that these things exist in a man. Like they say, I’ll see it when I believe it, and the list helps me believe. For those who think relationships suck, or that men are untrustworthy, lists can help with shifting the vibe to a better feeling place.
How about you?
Do you make lists for dates, partners, perfect clients, agents? Or do you connect to others from scratch where who they are and what they look like and how they think is of no concern because you know they are a vibrational match regardless? Combination of the two? I’d love to hear your thoughts (and lists)!
Thank you, Jeannette, for inviting me to post on this topic!
Kim Falconer, professional daydreamerKim Falconer lives in Byron Bay with two gorgeous black cats. As well as her author website, she runs an astrology forum and alternative science site, trains with a sword and is completing a Masters Degree. Her novel writing is done early every morning. Currently she’s working on a new trilogy following the success of her Quantum Enchantment series.

  • Kim Falconer says:

    Dakini and Luisa, thank you for adding to this discussion! My approach to this aspect of listing is to say, as Luisa mentions, what I do want. It might be ‘a person of peace and integrity’ or someone with ‘a clear and focused mind’ . . . frame it in the way you want to experience it and leave out the qualities you don’t want, even if you would have phrased them, ‘no violence’, etc.
    Valerie and Dan, great comments. It think it’s important to follow your intuition on this. There is no ‘right or wrong’ but think instead ‘participation.’ Every moment is a new one, a chance to create again so it’s not possible to mess it up.
    The key is to have fun with it and do what feels easy-peasy to you.
    Thanks everyone for chiming in!

  • Dan says:

    @Valerie: Stay in the feeling and the knowing vibration. Just know that as you continue to define/script, you are telling the Universe you are not complete in your definition and that is okay. Once you are done defining and let go, then the Universe will fit the bill. You have not messed up your chance, you have become more specific and that may be the reason for the different feeling. Its kind of like asking for a car then you further define the make, model, colour, and all the other options you want. When you are done making the list, then you can expect what you ordered so to speak. Stay well and in the alignment!

  • Valerie says:

    Thank you so much, Dan! I have always wondered exactly what to do with these lists once they are written, now I know. Oddly enough, I had been doing #1 and #3, almost instinctively, but kept worrying that I wasn’t doing something right (which isn’t in alignment with knowing that it’s been received and on it’s way).
    A couple of weeks ago, one morning, I woke up with a firm *knowing* (I guess it came to me in my dreams/sleep & I have never been so sure of anything before in my life) that I didn’t have to alter or do anything else to the list (and a bit of scripting), because it was complete and it’s on it’s way. But I still did anyhow, I just like scripting and have fun adding more to it. But once I started doing that, even I still feel positive it’s coming, something feels different, and I don’t know what? Do you think I messed up my chance? I will follow your advice and get back in alignment. Thank you 🙂
    Thank you!

  • Dan says:

    There are many things you can do with the list. 1. file it away, because as you created it you have asked the Universe for your list and it is done. Now you just make room in your life to receive it.
    2. You can take line items and post them around your house as a reminder of what you want and to keep you in the energy of knowing what you want is on it’s way. 3. You can keep it in a reference place to review it once in a while, not to remind yourself that your manifest has not yet arrived, but to re-live the feelings that having those things will provide.
    The most important point is that you use it somehow to re-create the good vibes and stay in the knowing that it is on it’s way and be open to all opportunities that present themselves to you.

  • Valerie says:

    So what do you all do once you’ve written out this list? Do you meditate/visualize on it daily? Or just read it?
    Thanks 🙂
    P.S I LOVE this blog. Somehow, even though I’ve been reading lots of LOA & inspiring blogs, I’ve never seen this website. Ever. And I’ve googled about list making to manifest desires before. I guess you find things right when you need them.

  • Luisa says:

    @fire Dakini. I’m sorry your reality has been amongst some less than lovely males (putting it mildly).
    I’m fairly new to this but one thing I have learned is our list needs to reflect what we DO WANT and not want we DO NOT WANT.
    My friend once wrote out a list for her husband which included a man who didn’t drink too much alcohol, was not violent and was not a gambler and unfortunately she got all three in her husband. What she needed to write was the positives of all those which I find hard to do but for example instead of writing non-violence in your list, write calm and loving.

  • Fire DAKINI says:

    Yes, that is an insightful article, indeed.
    On the other hand, I live in a world in which there are rapists and men who enjoy beating women to Death mentally and physically, on a REGULAR basis. I’ve known a number of them quite well, unfortunately. And yes, I did spell Death with a capital “D.” So, while I think your ideas are useful to a degree, they don’t carry over fully in the day-to-day experience of a practical woman who has been a lifelong victim of crime like myself. In my opinion, your view is a kind of limited metaphor.
    Now, I could ask, “WHAT is it about *ME* that has ‘attracted’ such behaviour in men.” But that, in my estimation, is again a very limited and limiting approach to framing the reality in which I’ve lived. ALL I have to do is look back to the 4,000 or more years of women’s history. There’s a point at which it is useful to take responsibility for ourselves and what we create; and THEN there are the things we don’t create, we just LIVE.
    I try and exist in both worlds. So, MY list, for example, includes non-violence. I don’t think there’s anything about that I need to look at beyond the fact that its a necessary trait I seek in a partner.

  • Kim Falconer says:

    Glad you found it so, Dee Dee!

  • Dee Dee says:

    Thanks to all of you. That was insightful and inspiring!

  • Kim Falconer says:

    Michelle, I loved your mantra and reflections:
    ”In fully loving and aligning with my TRUE self, I trust life, I trust the universe and thus I trust that all will be well in my world.”
    Seems that if that is being practiced, and you’re feeling so good in your own personal world, that anything you desire has no choice but to manifest!

    This is what MSmith is pointing out too, I think.
    You guys are brilliant! Thank you for making this such and interesting and ongoing discussion!

  • michelle says:

    haha! Yes! thank you ‘lovelyme’
    i love that- “less bullet points, more trust!” that’s brilliant!
    I’m finding too with this whole thread that bottom line for me has become this mantra I’ve come up with, which goes a little something like this…”In fully loving and aligning with my TRUE self, I trust life, I trust the universe and thus I trust that all will be well in my world.”
    Seems that if that is being practiced, and you’re feeling so good in your own personal world, that anything you desire has no choice but to manifest! I still think it’s good to know what you’re looking for in a sweetie, as you of course dont want to dwell on what you DONT want, we all know that’s a bad thing…. but it’s true, its so easy to obsess on things as we’re waiting for them to happen. It’s like anything else too I find- as I’m looking for a new house I have a LAUNDRY list (must have wood floors, bathtub, gas stove, lots of windows, great neighborhood with a nice landlord, etc….), or trying to find a new job (good pay, good coworkers, close to where i live, good hours…)
    You get the idea. I think as we’re impatient and focusing so much on the finding that we can over do it, with too many bullet points, stressing on the outcome and not trusting that in fact what we feel in our heart that which we truly desire, can actually just happen naturally and without all the stress of perfecting it in our minds.
    again FAITH!
    maybe that’s just me though? I know I can be a perfectionist in many ways and sometimes its hard to just exhale it all to the world and release control and just trust and open that little gate to my heart and prop it open to see what happens. 🙂
    Thank you again for this thread and blog, it’s so nice to chat with like minded lovelies!

  • Kim Falconer says:

    Jussi! Thank you for dropping in and saying so!!!

  • Jussi says:

    Thank you Kim! You’ve found a very interesting subject. You made me thinking!!

  • Kim Falconer says:

    LovelyMe! Thank you for contributing. I really like the idea of less bullet points and more trust.
    I mean, if we aren’t attracted to someone, why would we be with them anyway? Attraction is a multifaceted energy and not at all dependent on physical characteristics. Listing them out is like saying flour, sugar, cocoa and eggs if we want to bake a cake. There is much more in the end product than the sum of the ingredients, don’t you think?

  • LovelyMe says:

    My favorite subject from my favorite Astrologer! <3!
    I'm going to address the part about physical appearances:
    I was in the shower, and this post popped up in my head, so I decided to chew on it a little. (I get so many great ideas and revelations from being in the shower (actually, just near water. Maybe because I'm a Cancer? 😉 ), I might officially swap "Vortex" with "Shower" or "Water", lol)
    I know Catherine Behan blogged on this recently as well – basically she wondered why women, when told they shouldn't try to list the physical appearance preferences, feel like they've been told they're doomed to be with a toad.
    The answer is pretty simple – we want to be reassured we'll be with someone we find physically attractive. From all of our contrast and sorting, we add to the list what we've found to be attractive.
    Abraham says if we can desire it, the Universe hands down has the resources to deliver it.
    That being said, I have to say I've come to the agreement that listing physical appearance holds you outside of the Vortex.
    Already the subject of relationships is "one of the BIG ones". I think this would be a fantastic time to flex the "going general" muscle Abraham talks about lately. I would venture to say chances are if you feel compelled to spell out everything you want in your Perfect Mate, you're heading in the wrong direction with the specifics, and it's time to get more general. (This applies to me!)
    As my wise Inner Guidance 😉 revealed to me recently – perhaps many women in this situation (including myself) are trying to reach for a vibration of specifics that is too beyond us at this point in time.
    Get to the point already, LovelyMe!
    Not only is it a time to go general, but it's a time to seriously have faith in the Universe and our Vortex (or Shower, in my case). We've done all the sorting and have been adding our preferences to our Vortex, and preferences that we may not even remember.
    It's time to trust that the Universe will not send us a guy who we wouldn't even want to touch. The Universe is always looking out for us, and we need to have more trust that we CAN get what we want!
    I used to question this early on – "But if I let go and stop making the list/visualizing/fanning the desire, will the Universe still remember what I want?"
    If there were ever a time we should show the Universe we're serious about letting the relationship in, it should be now by less bullet points and more trust.
    This was personally an awakening of an old answered question I had, so it was wonderful to dig it up and shed new light on it. Hope this helps someone else as well!

  • I think the power of asking “why do I want that” is to help us achieve stronger alignment to it. It keeps us out of attachment to the “object” (or person) and helps us recognize what we really want – which always boils down to the feeling.
    So I don’t think we HAVE to know why we want something, but if our object of desire is slow in manifesting, drilling in on the WHY can be a very powerful way to line up better with it.
    For example, if I want a great guy in my life, and it’s taking a while for him to show up, revealing the WHY of that desire (connection, fulfillment, enjoyment, whatever) could help point me toward what will better allow that in.
    MSmith, you said “feel good” in general and I think that’s a good rule of thumb. We could call it whatever other label we want to put on it, but it’s always some variation of that, right? So really, just feeling good/better is basically the same thing as identifying and aligning with your WHY.
    At least, that’s what it seems to me.

  • MSmith says:

    Oh, Kim- regarding your questions: “What kind of alignment does it take to own that kind of car? What kind of alignment does it take to date a celebrity?”
    When someone is transitioning from a poverty mentality (low vibrational alignment/ consciousness), their work is the same as anyone else who wants to manifest something they’ve never experienced.
    #1. They must set an intention.
    #2. They must feel good, despite external circumstances.
    #3. They must be willing to receive and/or take action.
    Steps 2 and 3 are key for people who are new to deliberate creation.(As it’s easy and natural to have desires/set intentions)
    For example, say someone who has never earned more than $10 per hour at their job, wants to own a Mercedes. How do they get from ‘no Mercedes’ to owning a Mercedes? It doesn’t matter WHY they want what they want. What matters is their alignment and action (this is the same for someone who wants to date a celebrity).
    The Mercedes can manifest in a few ways (Step #3): It could be given to the person, a business opportunity can appear (where they can generate the funds), or the person could win the lottery (I’m sure there are more ways).
    Now, Step #2 is where conscious growth has to take place. If the person has been poor for a long period of time– it’s likely that they struggle with a mentality of fear, doubt, worry etc., which makes step #2 a challenge. Step 3 can be a challenge for them as well, because the universe can manifest some part of what they want—but their low vibration (consciousness) will cause them to sabotage it (ask me how I know :0)
    It’s difficult to manifest sustainable LOA results with low vibrational alignment. Which is essentially what you said, “At the end of the day, life is an expression of consciousness.”

  • MSmith says:

    Thanks, Kim! My understanding of ‘The Secret/Law of Attraction’ is that all one has to do is:
    #1. Ask (set an intention)
    #2. Feel Good (perhaps this is what you mean by alignment) and
    #3. Receive or take inspired action
    I was thinking of the movie The Secret. And how the little boy wanted that bicycle. And how children want things such as a trip to Disneyland. Generally, parents want to give their children what they want. They don’t ask, “Well, Johnny, why do you want that new bike or trip to Disneyland?”
    Sometimes our intelligence complicates the process of intention-manifestation. Perhaps we add layers to it in order to rationalize a lack of results or for some other reason. I think LOA is a simple and elegant process.
    This blog and discussions like this help us to do Step #2– which is probably the most challenging for people.

  • Kim Falconer says:

    Hello MSmith,
    Good questions! One thing that comes to mind is the difference between wanting a car and wanting a companion. Do we go about manifesting ‘things’ and ‘people’ in the same way? I think our relationship to material possessions is different than our relationship to other beings.
    But maybe we do have to have a ‘Mercedes’ mindset to manifest one. What kind of alignment does it take to own that kind of car? What kind of alignment does it take to date a celebrity?
    At the end of the day, life is an expression of consciousness. We people our lives with bits of ourselves–a world populated with manifested thoughts. Our thoughts are the manifestation we experience.
    It is OK to want what we want. Absolutely. There are no rules there. Analyzing is optional. It’s just one way to ‘know thyself’ . . . I am certain there are a billion other ways!
    Would love to hear Jeannette weigh in on your questions, MS!
    Thank you for asking.

  • MSmith says:

    Kim, when you say, “Are we missing the point of relationship when we preordain who the ‘other’ must be?”
    How does that relate to making a vision board? For example…
    If one wants a new Mercedes or house in the suburbs– they don’t have to “become” like a car or house in order to manifest a car or a house.
    So why does one have to become “smart, funny, wealthy, etc.” before they can manifest someone with those qualities?
    Isn’t it OK for us to want what we want without analyzing it?

  • Kim Falconer says:

    Anonymous, That sounds like a grand plan to me! Please let us know how it goes. I’m doing it too!

  • Anonymous says:

    First off, I have to say I am loving the idea of a just having a MNS list. I love love love lists – in a sort of obsessive way- but what I am enjoying most about this post is that its not so much about the actual list as it is about the fact of GETTING CLEAR with what we truly want.
    And I think your “why do I want that” questions can be used from everything from a new job to a vacation to australia.
    Like you said, its not about the thing on the list.
    “It’s about us, and when we get that, we can stop ‘needing’ others to be x,y or z and be that ourselves”
    So my plan is to make this list- ask all the “why” questions, spend that time with it, enjoying the feeling of having those things, and then let it go and let the universe deliver.

  • Kim Falconer says:

    Dan! You made a great point! Watch that we don’t take a lifetime to write the list and miss out on the opportunities of growth along the way.
    We are here to celebrate life. Sometimes it might be perfect to tear up the list and throw it in the air!
    Thanks for dropping in!

  • Dan says:

    Great Post Kim! I made a list over 4 yrs ago and it was kind of a mix of what I wanted in a mate and understanding we only control ourselves, each item had a perspective from her viewpoint. I think it help me to become more just through the process of writing the list. Then I put it away and went on with life. 8 months later, I met a girl who became a great match as it turned out. We were married 1.5 yrs after meeting.
    Even so, after making any list, there will be shortfalls on both partners and that is the making of a relationship, working through those things to become a bonding unit. The only other option in my perspective is to take a lifetime to write the list and miss out on the opportunities of growth along the way. The last thing I want on my bucket list is to say – Oh, one more thing……
    thanks for the post and all the comments here!

  • Kim Falconer says:

    Hi Chip! This interests me. In retrospect you can see how your partner wouldn’t have fit your first list. Makes me wonder even more about what we think we want vs. what we really want. I like your idea of a list of things you want to contribute. I’m going to play with that! What can you tell us about tapping if we run into challenges with list making. Say, we make a list of abc and keep getting xyz? Can that mean there are things to clear? EFT might bee a good tool?
    This reminds me of the saying, if you advertise for poets and keep getting truck drivers, you best check the ad!

  • ChipEFT says:

    A few years ago I made well, two lists. The first list was what I wanted in a relationship. Although it was semi-interesting (and I like how Kim says it is a reflection of what we want to be) I did not have a lot of success telling the Universe how to do things.
    I later made a second list, what I was willing to contribute to a relationship. Very soon found a partner I’ve been with a couple of decades. Thing is, she might not have fit my first list very well.

  • Kim Falconer says:

    Pam, I think this underscores the idea that what we attract is a match not only to the known aspects or ourselves, what we can list off, but also the unconscious ones. I think if we are surprised by who shows up, it means we can learn something new through them.
    Of course, we always get to decide if we’re going to be with them or not!
    Thanks for sharing your experiences!

  • Pam says:

    Hi Kim,
    I used to use lists all the time for attracting a New Sweetie. I would always manifest the man who fit the description in the list (I never listed things like looks, job, education, $$$). but the problem would be that I woud always forget something crucial (like job, education, $$$). So then I started getting specific. Real specific, especially when it came to education and money. Then I manifested that man, but the problem was that he wasn’t very nice and that some of the things on my list were in his pat but not in his present. Then I forgot the list altogether and started focussing on “the right man for me”. I was looking for the feeling (and some substance behind the feeling) that having MNS would evoke in my life. I want to feel cherished, appreciated, adored, admired, respected, taught, and loved and I wanted to have those feelings for my new mate. And this is when I learned that God does indeed have a sense of humor, because the right man felt totally right…but some crucial things ($$$ and education) looked totally wrong (to me). It turns out that this is a growth process, and I am coming to accept that the “right” man might only be “right for now” , and that “right for now” might be a long time or it might not. And that it’s going to be okay.

  • Kim Falconer says:

    Luna, I like your style! That’s a great way to become more aware of who YOU are in the whole process!
    Thank you for chiming in!

  • I can see why it has, Luna! Nicely done.

  • Luna says:

    Hi Kim,
    I have changed my approach to list writing in the last few years and rather than listing what I want in a person, situation etc I list the feeling I want and then take it a step further by matching the feelings with relevant feng shui objects in my place. This has worked spectacularly well for me 🙂

  • Oooh, I like that, Laura. That’s a little bit of a twist on the woman who says make your list of your special someone you’re calling in, and then go make sure you are all of those things yourself. (To ensure alignment.)
    I like the idea of getting in my sweetie’s shoes and asking myself what kind of girl HE’D be calling in.

  • Kim Falconer says:

    Laura, spot on. I get what you’re saying about ‘what smart means to you’ and the ‘why’ you are attracted to it. If we were speaking in astrological terms, we would say (remembering that each person has all 12 signs of the zodiac in their charts no matter WHAT their ‘star sign’) ‘I want a guy who’s in touch with their Gemini! (The smart, airy, breezy, witty, life-long learner dude). Or we might say, I want a guy who owns their Capricorn (classy, organized, responsible, practical, sensual, mature). Or we might say, ‘I’d love a Leo type guy’ (playful, creative, passionate, proud). Qualities become symbolic of some deeper aspect of self, but the expression is what we ‘see’ so it’s understandable that we would ‘go for it.’ Usually these are signs that we are wanting to develop in ourselves, or find new ways to express. 🙂
    Point 2) is real interesting. I like the idea of opening it up and imagining what kind of match WE are. It’s good to think that we might really make somebody’s day by saying yes 🙂 Jeannette pointed that out to be recently!
    Great comments everyone!
    Thank you!

  • Laura says:

    Great topic and great post Kim! So, two things come to mind here for me.
    1) When I did my list (and revised a few times) I not only write what I wanted, but I further defined what that looked like to me. For example, on my list is a man who is smart. To me, this means he is educated, he is street smart, he has a witty sense of humor, he has a curious nature, he is intelligent, clever and a lifelong learner. It is not so much that I am getting specific, but it is a type of person that I find very attractive. I also consider myself to be all of those things, so no mystery there…When you do get into how it looks to you, the specifics are actually less important and you concentrate more on how you would describe a certain type of person. Makes sense?
    2) I heard was on a teleclass recently where a woman was sharing her formula for meeting her husband. After creating her list, she then created a list on the characteristics her mate would be looking for and whether she was all of those things at this point in her life. I found this very interesting since it resonated with what Lisa Hayes has said about you needing to be the vibrational match to what you are looking to attract. Meaning, would you want your mate to meet you right now with the way your life looks at this point? For example, if you decided that your mate would want someone who was health oriented and took good care of their body and this was not part of your life right now, you would not be a match. I thought this was interesting to explore since we are many times so busy making a list of what we want that we do not even consider if we would be a match of what we are currently aligned with. Just another perspective…

  • That “hands off” approach feels very trusting to me, MissyB! And I think Universe enjoys the creative freedom when we give it.

  • Kim Falconer says:

    MissyB, good points as YOU know what works best for you and as far as I see it, there are no rules about what one ‘should’ or ‘shouldn’t’ want or how they might go about manifesting it intentionally! I love the affirmation ‘perfect for right now’!
    Thanks for dropping by!

  • MissyB says:

    You guys will be fed up of me saying it but I still maintain we should ask for the right partner for us and leave the rest to the Universe.
    Now I am still single, so I suppose you could say that my way isn’t working. BUT – I do have a few men in my life that meet my current needs. So, in a way, right now, they are the right men for me. And I am only just coming to realise that. When I am ready to move on and to commit to just one…then another “right” man will come along.

  • I think you’re on to something with this, Michelle:
    “… so we’re just downright happy with ourselves and one another in the relationship.” Also appreciated your observation about how lists can help us get OFF the contrast of past relationships and dialed in on what we DO want next time around.

  • Kim Falconer says:

    Michelle, I love how you say that, a partner who will compliment your life beautifully. That’s something to just sit and be with for a moment. Thank you!

  • michelle says:

    wow, very interesting article! i appreciate this, as i definitely am a tried and true list maker of all sorts, attracting a sweetie is no exception! (just made a list last week! haha)
    I agree it makes you wonder why you want all those things, but that it’s also good to know what you DO want and are trying to attract versus (from previous relationships) things you know dont work and you dont want to revisit those aspects again… Being in a relationship is great and it is a big part of your life, and for most people it can effect the person they are, but they can be a mirror to one another- hopefully in a good way. Hopefully your partner makes you want to be a better person and they compliment your life beautifully, I suppose that is essentially what all those ‘want traits’ boil down to, so we’re just downright happy with ourselves and one another in the relationship. hmmm, i’ll be thinking on this more throughout the day, it’s got me thinkin!
    thank you again!

  • This is making me realize that when I put my last love list together (over five years ago), while I included things like “drives a truck, has a dog, has his money act together” what I was really trying to do was capture the essence of this new someone with real life details. And a great way (indeed, the only way?) to attract that essence is to be it.
    So maybe the list is more for ourselves to line up with, then as an order up for Universe?

  • Kim Falconer says:

    That’s it, isn’t it Dana! Getting to the core. I know YOU had some awesome results with your list making. Did his career (or hair colour) surprise you? 🙂

  • Dana - Your Inspired Coach says:

    Great post, Kim! I used the list method and have a varied version of it from Lisa, but it’s similar. I agree that when you add something to the list, you should explore it and find out the why behind the item you are wanting in a mate. If you can get to the essence of who YOU are and what you offer, and to the essence of who your mate is – which is probably how you feel with them and what the dynamic of your relationship is together, the list will be much more effective than just listing traits.
    I got away from listing hair colors and types of careers so many years before I met my husband, and when I manifested David I really got to the core of who he was and what that meant to me. He rings true to that over and over – and it’s just ultimately being a good person who is good to others and does the right thing.

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