Marrying Up the Vibes

firewater1There are some things we know just don’t go together, right?  Like fire and water.  Love and fear.  Democrats and Republicans.  (ha!)

Yet sometimes what we KNOW is exactly what limits us from experiencing what we WANT.

Which is a good time to recognize when we’re buying into a limiting belief that doesn’t serve us.

Of course, I’m talking about myself again.  (I’d rahter tell clients’ stories, but that confidentiality thing makes me reveal my own hand instead.  tsk)

The other day I realized that while I want business to (continue to) THRIVE, I also want to RELAX more.  And these two vibes – THRIVE and RELAX – didn’t seem to join up together too well in my head.  There was something inside telling me that if I relaxed, my ambitious business goals would suffer.  Like, if I slowed down, so would my career success.

That surprised me since in the past I’ve deliberately combined goofing off and making money.  But for some reason, Thriving and Relaxing seemed to not fit together.

Which shows me where my opportunity is.

Because if I believe those two things don’t go together, that’s the way it is (for me).  I’d have to choose one or the other.  Which is NOT the mark of a deliberate creator!

Deliberate creators know we can have whatever we dare imagine!

So all I have to do is resolve this incongruency in my belief system, and then I get to have my cake and eat it too.

Relax AND Thrive … relaxing and thriving … I’ve been trying those two on for size lately and seeing how well they complement each other.

Makes perfect sense when I think about it, since a thriving business would feel good, and relaxing also feels good – so really, they’re vibrational cousins, these Relax and Thrive energies.

What would that look like, relaxing and thriving?  It would look like good things happening with the business even though I’m not – and this is easy to see now –

ESPECIALLY because I’m not “worrying” over it night and day.  The more relaxed I am, the more opportunities I see, inspiration I feel, the better energy I flow … the better business gets.

Of COURSE they go hand in hand, now that I think about it differently.  The more I relax, the more my business thrives.  And as I think, so shall it be.

So while I’m getting the hang of this, I’m really curious about what you might be holding yourself back from …

What would you combine if you could have your cake and eat it too?  Maybe … long term relationship and a red hot sex life?  Oreos and a healthy trim body?  Corporate employment and nourishment for your soul?  Divorce and a happy relationship?

I’d love to hear what you’re combining that others might not think is the natural way of things.  It’ll not only help the rest of us see the limits we’ve unconsciously bought into, but also reinforce your liberation from old limits too.  🙂

  • January 19, 2009
  • Kymm says:

    I love that, Relax and Thrive…. I want to build a successful business but once established I don’t want to work 20 hours a day. I want more time with family and not feel tied down. Can I have that. I believed I could. After reading your story I now KNOW I can… What a great feeling.

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  • MissyB says:

    Jeannette, Kim – I love you guys ! You both made me smile 🙂
    Question though – does the fact that I am entertaining the advances of one of these (no groaning folks please !) mean that I am not in the state of allowing the “perfect one for me” in to my orbit ? Because by saying yes to one of these attached men, am I confirming my current underlying belief ?

  • Ann Strong says:

    Hey Jeannette,
    Thanks for asking about that collection of poems and prayers. The book WILL be out in 2009, with all of you as my witnesses! 😉
    I’ll keep you posted as to the exact date . . .

  • Kim Falconer says:

    MissyB, I wanted to say bravo for the lovely long-term relationship with great single guy that loves deep without need of formal commitment.
    I am so on that page. You don’t need to choose between freedom and commitment. All you have to choose is which gorgeous guy you want. They are lining up for you!!!
    I can hear someone in the back saying Why choose? Why not have them all!
    Kim 😉

  • Awareness is everything, MissyB! With this realization you can start to practice syncing up fantastic long term relationship with single guy sans commitment. 🙂
    (Can I just say, I like your style? lol)
    My mastermind group pointed out the other day an opportunity for me to marry up vibes that I wasn’t allowing to go together: beautiful web site AND powerful, effective content. I thought I had to choose between a pretty site or boring black & white words – but they pointed out that I could have BOTH by just putting some of my inspiring signature phrases in the corners of the pictures. ha
    Look at us go, huh, MissyB?! We can do this!!

  • MissyB says:

    I’ve a vibe that definitely DOESN’T marry up. I want a fantastical long term relationship with a single guy without any major commitment like living together/marriage ! DOH ! All I seem to attract is married/in a long term relationship men. Currently 4 of them are interested in me, so whatever I’m sending out vibe wise is working, but not in a manner I really want.

  • Ann, this is beautiful! The line “I take myself lightly” especially spoke to me, as I’ve been deliberately reminding myself to lighten up and not take it all so seriously lately.
    And to love the quirks! One of my favorite aspects of self-love!!
    Thanks for sharing this inspiring piece with us. Do you have a collection by any chance?

  • Ann Strong says:

    Hey Jeannette,
    I wrote a prayer / poem that kind of sums up how I’m playing with this juicy topic . . .
    Thanks for asking!
    Who I am is enough.
    I allow my self-conscious,
    limiting ideas
    about myself
    to drop away.
    I accept and embrace my
    fragile humanity
    and my infinite divinity.
    I take myself lightly.
    With bemusement and love,
    I acknowledge my
    quirks, inconsistencies and attachments.
    With delight and love,
    I acknowledge my
    powerful Presence.
    I am. I am not.

  • That quote is just what this post needed! Thanks, Giany! Very inspiring. 🙂

  • Giany says:

    A short quote from Abraham
    Reduce your workload by 30% and increase your fun load by 30%. And you will increase your revenues by 100%. And you will increase your productivity by 10,000%. (If there could be such a percentage.) More fun, less struggle–more results on all fronts.
    Salt Lake City, UT — 9/9/00

  • Yepper skipper, Kim – here’s to mixing up the fun stuff! 🙂

  • Kim Falconer says:

    Thank you Jeannette for this wonderful post, and everyone for their contributions! I have a few of these binary opposites too.
    Like Judy I didn’t think I could be in a relationship and also be autonomous.
    Like Susie I didn’t think I could live where I do and be happy.
    Like MsNikki I thought to stay fit I had to train 5 days a week at the gym.
    And the big one this month, I thought I had to ‘stay on top of things’ (not relax) to stay on the bestsellers list. I got so worried about it I actually thought it would be less stressful not to be on the list at all!
    It is very helpful for me to see how others have combined the opposites, dispelled the limiting beliefs and let go of the idea that oil and water don’t mix.
    They do mix. You just have to shake things up a bit–allow the molecules to swirl 🙂

  • Kevin says:

    For me the part about finding a balance between home and work life becomes more about aligning with downstream flow as the Abraham teachings put it. (you posted about Abraham previously)
    One thing that has helped me is when I’m feeling out of alignment (ie. stressed too many tasks or the frustration of my job) I just simply turn within my mind and give intent to go in direction of the flow… Often this simple shift works… meditation helps better.
    Great post!

  • These are fabulous combinations!! I’m inspired to even bigger aspirations, just as I expected I would be from reading your posts. : )
    Just heard this one from President Obama’s inaugural speech:
    Safety AND Ideals. He said it’s false to believe we have to choose between one or the other. Amen to that.

  • Kevin, this was a huge theme in the work I did with corporate clients last week .. managing that balance between home and work life.
    Many think we’ve got to find the compromise, because we certainly can’t have it all, and so we have to be willing to settle in each area.
    But I disagree. I like where you’re taking us. Although this hasn’t been a big one for me, I have felt it to a certain extent and I am looking forward to having my cake AND eating it too in this area of life.
    Thanks, Kevin!

  • Ooooh – selfISH and selfLESS – this could be my favorite combo yet, Jessica!!
    I think lots of us will have fun trying this one on in life.
    THANK YOU for the inspiration!

  • Jessica Earl says:

    Here’s one…
    Thinking of others, taking the time to give, donate, or otherwise provide self-less service to the world
    WHILE also taking care of ME, being the best ME I can be, taking time (that seems used up on others) to nourish my being and soul for optimal health and well being, time alone and to have fun and relax. Looking within.
    Essentially, being selfish and self-less as the same time! Selfish enough to not neglect ourselves and fill our life with caring for others, but selfless enough to give freely.
    Sometimes I find the vibrational match and other times I’m stumped. When I do click into the “same vibe” for both it looks something like: When I am caring for myself, I am by default giving to others. When I am my best self, I open the door for others by example, freedom to all be unique, by having my cup runeth over to have more than enough to give” If I did not care for myself, then I am not available for others in a true sense. It would be action without soul/heart… eventually, I can get depleted to keep on giving without nourishing my own soul.
    Better yet is to find that style of giving to be that which also nourishes us fully. While caring for myself, I am caring for others. An example maybe a support group- I am finding support for myself, while I support others who are on a similar journey. (I don’t have this right now, but it is the example that popped into my head).
    Thanks for the thoughts! Terrific topic.

  • Way to live the example, Pernille. You’re not just talking about it, you’re living PROOF of it!
    Nicely done!
    Pleasure to hear from you, as always, Pernille. You are a treat!

  • Nice combo you’re dialing up, Ms Nikki!
    I especially like the guavo gelato and loose clothes, and the career opportunity that’s all that AND a bag of chips! ha ha
    Liking your style, my friend. Thanks for adding to the limitless vibe here!

  • Hi Jeannette, thanks for reminding us once again that we can really have it all!
    I have two children, one was born when I was 28, the other when I was 41. The last time everybody was busy telling me that I was now an old mum and therefore it would be so hard and so difficult and so different from the first time, implying that “old age” and being a mum didn’t go hand in hand very well.
    But I didn’t believe them, I couldn’t see why there should be any difference and I guess I didn’t feel I was an “old mum”.
    And everything went well, my younger daughter is 8 now – and to me there really was no difference at all in becomming a mum at 28 and at 41!

  • MsNikki says:

    OMG!The stars must be aligned because the articles so correspond with my life as of late!
    One of the issues that I have been struggling with is weight loss. I decided a month ago to have fun and do only the exercises that are entertaining (ballroom dancing, hiking, biking, etc) while eating foods that are both healthful and tasty.I tried on a couple of pairs of pants today and found out that I lost weight without even trying! I felt good so I had a wonderful meal with a girlfriend and had my large guava gelato tonight, too!!
    Here is my combo list that I am struggling to achieve. My “have and eat my red velvet cake” list:
    *Wonderful creative career opportunity that offers flexibility, autonomy,financial stability, and freedom! (Government and corporate didn’t afford those opportunities)
    *Affordable cosmopolitan city that perfectly vibes with me! It seems like the places that vibe with me are exorbitant and that the only places I can afford are conservative enclaves.
    *A wonderful guy who is a little yin to my mercurial yang!

  • Susie Beifuss says:

    oh-oh, jeannette….YOU asked for IT! this morning before work i made a list. Things I want that I don’t seem to manage to have at the SAME time:
    To live where I can enjoy four seasons (not So.Cal).
    To live where I can earn enough to buy a cottage..(not So Cal)
    To live where I can visit my kids often.(So Cal – or elsewhere if I can afford to fly often).
    To live near civilization (not isolated with…redneck types)( the only four season area near my kids)
    I believe I’ve created a no-win want list that has kept me moving and moving and moving from house to house, town to town, mountain to beach for 15 years.
    I would reallllyy appreciate any assistance to solve this puzzle.
    :o) love, susie

  • Oh, girlfriend, I’ve been quoting you (ever since you emailed it to me and I asked you to post it here)!! This is FABULOUS!! Lots of my clients are relating to this.
    THANK YOU for sharing this, Judy, and inspiring us to even better relationships. (And I do mean US.)

  • Judy says:

    Can I have a fabulously committed love and feel fresh and free in the middle of it? Well, I may describe my love as “free like a river, and loyal like an old dog”, but I haven’t really, REALLY believed that was possible. Sure, my soul gets it, but my mind has had to do her research. ha!
    So, I’ve done the loyal, attached to the hip relationship. But, I kept my sense of freedom in an emotionally detached way. This is when I was trying to be good at relationships, and I left after 9 years thinking I wasn’t very good at coupledom.
    And, I’ve done the free, unattached relationship. This has brought me around to knowing, that indeed, I am good at day to day relationships, and in fact LIKE THEM!
    Now, I’m quite relaxed about knowing that, of course I get to have exactly what I want. Silly me! ha!
    Here’s the relationship order I’ve submitted to the universal love manager:
    My love? Oh, it’s
    rich and deep,
    fun and relaxed,
    passionate and evolving,
    and it has that Abe tone of “this is working pretty well so far”, that lasts for about 50 years.
    Have my cake and eat it too? Hell, I’d also add “piece of cake” ha! AND, I decided that I’d love you to preside over my freely committed ceremony. . .whattya say?
    fabulous, and perfectly timed post, as always, JGoodVibe. thank you!
    w/ love, of course!

  • This is exactly where it starts, Susie – recognizing what we HAVEN’T allowed ourselves that we DO want.
    It takes some courage to claim these things for ourselves, doesn’t it? The things that we’ve either been trained to believe aren’t possible, or experience has taught us so?
    Can you imagine this happening? Can you see it coming together? That’s the next step – entertaining the idea of it.
    (Of course, making peace with what is is super helpful, too.)

  • Gillian says:

    What a delicious subject, Jeannette! You are sure one of a kind in the creative department. Now lets see, what so called “contradicting vibes” would I marry together and while I am writing and thinking about it, my vibes are already going up.
    1.Relaxing and thriving is for sure on the top of my list. I sure would lOOOOVE to see money flowing to me constantly and abundantly from all directions, while I am relaxing in a Spa or getting a manicure.
    2.Indulging in junk food and staying healthy, strong and slender.
    3.Having a nice home base as well as jet setting around.
    4. Having a partner, who is traditional/old fashioned in a sense, who provides everything and looks after me completely, yet who doesn’t expect me to be the ‘traditional wife’, who whips up a meal in 30 minutes and cooks and cleans after him. Meaning, I would like an old fashioned partner, while I can be modern and free.
    Well, talking about having my cake and eating it too, these are a few things I can think of.
    Much love, Gillian

  • Gillian, I not only love your #4, I love THAT you have four!! woo hoo!!!
    Way to live it without limits, my friend! 🙂

  • Good to know I’ve got your support, V. Thanks for reading, for joining the conversation and for sharing your enthusiasm! 🙂

  • v says:

    thats one of your best blogs ever !!!!!!! your good at making it come true ——— you go J

  • Way to turn those limiting thoughts on their heads, Deb!! lol
    I would hate to be a limiting belief standing in YOUR way – I’d get toppled in no time. !
    Thanks for pitching in the conversation, my friend. 🙂

  • Deb Brown says:

    UH huh… We run a country with Democrats AND Republicans, Fire doesn’t exist without Water, Fear always accompanies Love and well… I live in a universe where opposition (opposite ideas of all types) creates fabulous opportunities and the best solutions on the planet… 🙂 U GO.. thanks for saying this!!!!

  • Tonya Leigh says:

    Love this blog!! Humans are such dichotomous thinkers, but I have found that you CAN build a life that you love fusing opposites. For example, I work with weight loss clients, and their thinking has programmed them to believe that you cannot enjoy food and lose weight at the same time. Au Contraire!!! Once we begin to tear down those beliefs, life really does become delicious.

  • Perfect example, Tonya! ENJOY food AND lose weight – great combination!
    Thanks for reminding us of that one, Tonya, and leading the way to a delicious life. 🙂

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