The Michael Scott Sabotage: How to Spoil Your Success LOA Style

You know I love real world examples to study the energy dynamics playing out in life’s manifestations.

Last night I saw something that many of us have done to the detriment of our success.

You saw it, too, if you’re a fan of The Office.  (Which, even though it’s tv, it’s close enough to real life that it counts.)

Last night, Michael Scott didn’t realize he was being “set up” by Pam and Jim when Pam invited her girlfriend to join the office in an after hours gathering. 

After smooth introductions and enjoyable conversation over a game of pool, Pam, Jim and said friend all agreed Michael was a hit.  He was funny, relaxed – making a great impression.  Pam’s girlfriend had only good things to say about him.

Everything was headed in the right direction!

Until Michael realized it was a setup.  (He can be a little slow on the take.)

It dawned on him that he was on a date.  With a pretty girl!  Who seemed to like him!!  The dream was within reach!

That’s when Michael lost his head. 

He ran out to his car, took off his tie, put on a ridiculous hat (attempting to be cool and hip), and adopted an entirely new persona as he tried too hard to impress the girl he realized he had a chance with.

Of course it was all downhill from there. 

(Downhill in a bad way.  With that girl, anyway.)

I recognized this rookie move because I’ve done it myself.

I temporarily forget about the weight I’d like to drop, go about enjoying life, and then weight magically drops.  (Of course when I’m not focused on it.)

Once I realize it, though, I pull a “Michael Scott” and get tense and anxious. 

My mindset is akin to: “Something seems to be working; I’m on a roll; how can I leverage this momentum; what am I doing right that I can do more of”

 … and poof!  Just like that, the weight loss party’s over.

I’ve experienced it in career opportunities, too. 

A great possibility shows up when I was least expecting it (although I journal for success, so it can’t be too big a surprise).

But then I’ll get a little kinked about not wanting to ruin the big chance; and it  seemingly slips through my fingers while I’m watching.

To me, this is a lesson in staying loose, easy, relaxed.

Because working too hard at it can ruin our already unfolding success. 

Anyone out there who can relate, or is it just me who holds the market on Michael Scott sabotage moves?

Let’s share our tried and true methods for avoiding this fate!  How do you avoid spoiling success when you start to get attached to it?

  • March 26, 2010
  • Perfect example, Jessica, and one I can totally relate to!
    That “run away” trick took me a while to learn when trying to retrieve loose dogs. lol You’re right – it works like a charm!
    Indeed, nature teaches us this lesson well.
    Thanks for coming back to post this!

  • Jessica says:

    When reading all the comments on allowing and Kim’s on the kittens… it reminded me of a way I look at to help myself. I get most of my life lessons from pets and nature!
    Have you ever tried to get an animal to come to you who wouldn’t? It could be the playful dog, or the independent cat, or just wild animals in general. When we “chase” after them, they just keep running farther away! When my dog doesn’t want to come to me because she thinks I am “playing”… I simply run AWAY from her, and she chases me! Naturally, I still have a play vibration so that she is attracted to me. Similarly, a cat is too royal sometimes to give you the time of day. All I have to do, is look away, and wait patiently, but if I try to go after him, he runs off! Nature requires a bit more finesse with the “allowing” to attract an animal TO you. But it is possible. I find I can use this example in my mind to relax about my manifestations… allowing while still having focus.
    I love how nature teaches me so much all the time!

  • Carly Fortin says:

    I really enjoyed this! All I have to add is, ‘opportunity knocks, but sometimes it’s dressed in overalls!’

  • I was thinking about that, too, Robin!
    The way I like to think of it is that our happy ending is guaranteed – even if we “screw” one up (if that were really possible), Universe has another one lined up right behind it to give us another chance at alignment.

  • Robin says:

    I don’t have anything fabulous to add, just loved the post and all the comments. I saw that episode too, and I know I’ve done that type of thing. I wonder how the fact that he got a date with the hottie manager fits into all this?

  • Oooh – “allowing action” – I like that, Ande!
    Easy to see how well that would serve us! hmmm … thanks for that!

  • Ande says:

    I’ve agonized in the past over this action vs allowing thing, and trying to hard to manhandle things into place, and now I’m discovering “allowing action”–it’s a sort of focus on what’s in front of me with no thought of where it’s going to lead. It’s the doing with a drive to GET a certain result that gets us into trouble.

  • Michael says:

    You know, I woke up this morning and thought: ‘I really need to hit the Good Vibe Blog today and get a little LOA reorientation’. I swear, this latest post hit what I was going through so on the head, that I cannot believe it (though I don’t know why, Jeannette always has that knack).
    I sometimes spiral back around to ‘not good enough’ in life in general (as in ‘not responsible enough’, ‘not enough earning power’, etc.) that it starts to make me ‘overwork’ all the great things I already have showing up, thinking they’re right on the edge of going away.
    My best method for getting out of this (when I can’t coach myself out of it easily) is to log onto this site, or surround myself with people who know what I’m committed to and who will not let me settle for a conversation that drives all my good things into the ground.
    I did find myself LOAing ‘as hard as I can’ to generate more income, a better place to live, better circumstances for my son, resources for myself and my girlfriend, etc….forgetting, of course, that hard work is not what brought any of these things to me!
    When I can’t remind myself of that fact, I rely on people like this community to give me a good shake! So thanks…

  • Kimberly Gauthier says:

    Finally saw the episode this weekend and it was hilarious. I had your post in mind the during the entire show.
    Great connections.

  • Jessica says:

    I can’t wait to read all the comments! I usually do first, but I just wanted to share something quick tonight-
    After reading this post the other day, I had to share this example with my husband to help him relax a little (it did not, but made me laugh!). There are 6 computers in this house of ours! 6! How insane! Do you know that what is more insane is that only 1 of them works correctly (hehe, the one I use to visit cool places like here) but my hubby on the other hand, has been downright desperate to use one of the other ones. I’m the computer fixer in the house and he is begging, pleading, etc to make a computer work for his games. His beloved games. I tried over and over. I usually can make anything work. Heck, I even fixed the toilet last week! The point is, that those computers “work” but once he touches them, the magically stop working in one way or another. And sometimes they magically start working once he “gives up”! I found myself jumping on his bandwagon, just because they SHOULD be working and I SHOULD be able to fix them. No can do with these “trying too hard” vibes flying all over the place.
    AND how perfect that this “trying too hard” theme has come up recently in another one of my comments on another post… it started as hubby trying too hard, but then I quickly realized it was a vibe I needed to loosen up! I did. And miracles abound (not for my hubby and his computer problem) but for me!
    I love how things just open up when the message is clear! I love how everything is connected and it just gets me so excited to see it unfold!
    I just thought this crazy computer story fit in nicely with this. It had me cracking up to see this dynamic play out! 🙂

  • Abraham-Hicks quote comes to mind:
    “Never face reality unless your reality is exactly the way you want it to be.”
    Bottom line … our reality is what we think it is.
    I always remind myself that life situations can turn on a dime, even in a good way! (many believe it can in the bad sense — but it works both ways!)
    All of you have a Lovin’ Life rest of the day!

  • Dana - Your Inspired Coach says:

    Great point, Chip! I was going to say the same thing. It’s all a series of asking and aligning, tweaking and asking and aligning, and enjoying the heck out of life as it unfolds. Something makes me think of, “Nevermind the man behind the curtain.” Nevermind the bill on your desk or the balance in your checkbook or the empty seat at your dinner table or the boss yelling at you. Keep asking, intending, affirming, aligning, allowing and smiling.

  • Chip, your post is making me feel the big “duh!”
    Nice re-focus. 🙂

  • ChipEFT says:

    Well heck,
    My first impulse was to jump in and tell you that all about my massive self-sabotages, but that didn’t feel very good.
    What feels better is to point out that self-sabotage is a story I was perpetuating. What I talk about I manifest. It is so very clear that what I don’t want is to self-sabotage.
    What feels even better is to say that what I do want is to maintain a focus on what I want, plant myself in the vortex and use my emotional guidance system to listen to the Universe whisper in my ear the actions I need to take when I need to take them.
    I surrender my beliefs and expectations by continually reaching for better feeling thoughts. And in doing so I enjoy each moment of life. And it really doesn’t matter whether or not that what want is or isn’t here, because the process is really all there is.

  • Suzie Cheel says:

    I think you have it nailed Jeanette with: staying loose, easy, relaxed- I would add allow and be in the flow. When I believe that I am in the flow and live in the NOW- letting go of “what if” or “what might be”! Why did I etc,etc,etc
    I love Kim’s “Worth Magic”

  • Good reminder, Maria: “The Universe has an uncanny way of manifesting the things we want. We could never quite plan to unfold it the way the Universe can!”

  • Hi Janette …
    Love the splat ski story — such an appropriate image for what many of us do in many areas of our lives!
    I am going to chack out the Simon’s Cat link you shared now. That’s fantastic that it puts you into the vortex!
    Also, I think that when we are trying so hard, we are not trusting that it is on its way to us. Life is not supposed to be that difficult, right?!
    My theme for this year is “simple clean and easy” — just want it all to be “easy breezy” and believing that my desires and dreams can manifest in that fashion.
    The Universe has an uncanny way of manifesting the things we want. We could never quite plan to unfold it the way the Universe can! 🙂

  • Okay, Janette, thanks for the hilarious example!
    And I like your observation that sabotage is the symptom, not the disease. The invitation to look deeper is a wise one.
    Thank you for it!

  • Janette says:

    Oh oh oh!!!
    I was JUST THINKING about self-sabotage and look what Jeannette blogs about. ROFLMAO!!!
    For me, self-sabotage is always a symptom, not the “disease” itself.
    It’s often about self-worth (thank you Kim!) and the best example I have of that is my first time skiing. After a little bit of getting used to having planks on my feet and ice on my nose, I find myself travelling – actually travelling!! – down hill. Whee, this is so much fun!! …. and suddenly I become aware that I’m DOING IT and next thing….. SPLAT, face first in a snowdrift. From whence I had to be rescued by my baby brother (with his arm in a sling). Mortifying. But also hilarious. When I do the “oh, I couldn’t POSSIBLY be doing this” self-sabotage, I imagine myself facedown in the snow and the look on my brother’s face, and I can’t help but laugh. Which generally gets me back into the Vortex, and I’m good to go.
    The other kind I get is the “trying too hard” and those incidents usually have something else underneath. Sabotage the weight loss? I ask myself what part of me isn’t yet ready for the weight to go. Sabotage the bank account? I know there’s an unresolved money thing going on. Sabotage the relationship? I know that’s usually some unresolved dad/mum/teacher childhood stuff going on.
    In those circumstances, I don’t focus on the self-sabotage. Instead, I look to the underlying issue and do whatever I need to do about that – even if it’s just watch Simon’s Cat to get myself back in the Vortex (
    I do love having lots of ways to handle things. Thanks for the fabulous insights, everyone!

  • Thank you Adrianne …
    It is always good to remember that all that contrast has a purpose and will help you to expand further!
    And Karanime .. I agree, it is in our observation that it “never happens” or it is “not happening yet” that keeps us feeling stuck and negatively impacts the manifestation from coming to us in a quick fashion.

  • Adrianne says:

    Maria Lesetz said: “So, would love to hear more about what all of you do when you are so laser focused on the area of your life that you want to change (and focused on the lack of what you want) that you feel like you can’t forget about it, no matter how much you shift your focus to something else.”
    Hi Maria,
    I think in that case it helps to remember that contrast (perceived negative experiences) are essential for creation – they are the driving force behind expanding into something new.
    Of course, it can be hard to remember that so called bad experiences of not getting what we want when we want it are actually a good thing. It just means when it does happen it will be even better because of the even stronger, more clear desire energy that’s been created by the negative experience.
    When I think like this I can actually appreciate my own resistance and appreciate what I perceive as “things going wrong.” It’s just the way it looks in THAT moment – and nothing is ever permanent.
    Lots of Love,

  • TOTALLY agree, Karanime, that it’s the “this NEVER happens” that screws it up!
    I’ve got a feeling your comment is going to help me out next time it comes up.
    Many thanks! 🙂

  • Karanime says:

    I love you.
    You think it might be a confidence thing? I’m on a border line with this guy that I like. One day he’s flirty, the next day, totally unresponsive. And it correlates perfectly with whether I care or not that he likes me.
    If you’re confident that you’re worth all you got, “getting the girl” becomes normal and natural. It’s you, and you seem to attract good-looking people. Thinking something like, “Wait, this is actually happening? This NEVER happens! I’d better not screw it up!”
    It’s the “NEVER happens” that screws it up.

  • I agree with you, Maria, that the stories we tell ourselves are a big key to this!!

  • Maria Lesetz says:

    And why is it that we can be so darn good at it with one area of our life, but not another. It’s all the same thing. Everything is energy. If we can make the shift in one area of our life, we should be able to do the same in another area of our life.
    I think it is about the stories we tell ourselves — and we can have a different story and beliefs in 1 area vs. another area of our life.
    But, when it comes down to it, like Don Miguel Ruiz said in his latest book — we should really challenge everything we believe. Nothing is really “TRUTH” — we just believe it to be.

  • Maria Lesetz says:

    So, would love to hear more about what all of you do when you are so laser focused on the area of your life that you want to change (and focused on the lack of what you want) that you feel like you can’t forget about it, no matter how much you shift your focus to something else.

  • Look at you, you fast learner, Ginny!
    We all know that this story has a happy ending, one way or another.
    And it sounds like you know it, too.
    I’m going to imagine right now your happy news to friends and family about your fun outcome here!
    Thanks for posting, Ginny. I love getting real life examples here! 🙂

  • Dana - Your Inspired Coach says:

    Mia, great point! I agree with you, too. Thanks, Sue. Lots of great responses here.

  • Ginny says:

    Geez with all that I still feel the need to add something! LOL
    I just wanted to point out that when I was imagining announcing to family and friends that I would soon be illustrating my first children’s books, it was a totally positive, happy, relaxed kind of feeling – not dependent on this particular opportunity. Just feeling totally capable of being what I wanted to be. But now as time has gone on, I’m having trouble viewing this particular opportunity positively, without attachment. And I know I need to go back to just seeing myself successful in this field, and basking in the happiness that gives me – wehther it’s through this opportunity or another one down the road.

  • Ginny says:

    Oh boy, did this post ever hit home. Twice now, I have had major opportunities just drop into my lap. The first time was years ago. I’m an artist, and I had written in my journal that I wanted to be on this very well known craft TV show. I figured I would have to find out who the producers were, send them my work, etc. etc. But at that point, all I had done was write this goal down in my journal. TWO DAYS later, a producer from that very show contacted ME. She said she had just “happened” to stumble across my website, and would I be interested in being on the show? I nearly fell out of my chair!
    Now here’s where the Michael Scottisms come in. She contacted me on a Friday, and told me they were interested in this one type of art I had just started to do, which were clay illustrations. She said she would be meeting with the executive producer, and the shows host, etc. on Monday morning, and could I send her more examples of this type of art by then? What???? These clay illustrations normally took me hours and hours, sometimes days to complete. She had seen two I had on my website, both of which had been sold, and no way could I come up with several more over the weekend. But even so, I damn near killed myself trying. I stressed, I fussed, I fumed – to the point of giving myself a killer migraine – and all I was able to do was to complete one more piece in the time I had to work with. Still, they were interested. But over the next couple weeks, I stressed over it so much, trying so hard to make it happen, that lo and behold, the opportunity fell through. To add insult to injury, another artist friend – somebody I had told about my opportunity – sought the producers out at a trade show during this same time period, and managed to get booked instead of me. Then of course, the producers turned around and told me that they didn’t need my work because it was “similar” to hers and she’d already been booked. I was genuinely happy for her, but yeah, I would be lying if I said that didn’t hurt.
    This year I’ve decided to pursue becoming a children’s book illustrator, using these same style of clay illustrations to illustrate books. Again, all I did was set the intention to do so. I decided I would take the next several months to build my portfolio, and then I would begin to submit my work to publishers, etc. Three weeks ago, completely out of the blue, I had an editor from a well known publisher of children’s books contact me and tell me – quite like the whole TV show thing – that she had just “happened to stumble across my website” and would I be interested in submitting some samples for two potential books. Again, I nearly fell off my chair – but this time, I was a lot calmer about the whole thing. I figured it was a great opportunity, but I would not stress it. I am completely new to this whole thing, and I have a lot to learn, so I would just give it my best shot, and if nothing came of it, well at least I’d know my work was good enough to catch the eye of high level publishers – something awfully cool in its own right – and I would just keep learning, and building that portfolio.
    But, no sooner did I tell her yes, I’ll put together some art samples, then the very next day I came down with the wickedest head cold! GRRRR! I had all of a WEEK to work on art in the themes she had asked for, and I was so sick, running a fever, etc. I did the best I could do under the circumstances and emailed the art to her. Despite the circumstances, I was pretty happy with what I had come up with, but of course, I wished I hadn’t been sick, and had been able to devote more time to creating art.
    Well, I haven’t heard a word. The editor didn’t even acknowledge receipt of my email. I thought that was a little strange, but not completely uncommon for editors. (I have a lot of experience in the craft publishing world) So at first, I was confident and could easily and happily imagine myself announcing to family, friends, and art colleagues that I would soon be illustrating my first children’s books – but I kept things under wraps. Only a couple friends and family members even know about the opportunity.
    But now as time is ticking away, it’s getting harder to stay detached, to not WANT it, etc. An illustrator friend of mine suggested I email the editor to touch base and make sure she did indeed receive my samples, and I almost don’t want to! LOL Because as long as I haven’t heard one way or the other, I can still imagine a yes coming my way. But I do feel like I should email her just to touch base and see what is going on. I want to be able to view the whole thing as only the first of many opportunities. But at the same time, it feels SO big. So many wannabe illustrators out there would kill for an opportunity like this! It’s not the kind of thing that drops into your lap every day. So of course, there’s that whole “I don’t want to blow it” feeling. I deliberately didn’t tell many people about it, but I have to admit, that not getting this job will still feel like a bit of a “failure” to me. My rational mind says okay it was ONE opportunity. MANY more will come. But of course, the less practical side of me is saying, “But I want THIS one!” LOL
    So yeah, I want to stay loose, calm, upbeat, and unattached. But I can feel my Michael Scott tendencies lurking around in the background!

  • Gorgeousophie says:

    Cos you Jeannette, having created this blog as well as triggering the comments are most definitely NOT what makes this place amazing, right?! ROFL!!!

  • Maria Lesetz says:

    Iyabo, Mia and Adrianne …
    What you posted recently really resonated with me. Thank you.
    Iyabo … what you said about imperfection & being out of the vortex — WOW, that spoke to me. It really comes down to seeing everything perfect just the way it is right now in this present moment. That ties into the whole concept of being at peace with where you are at. And when you can do that, it is a very natural powerful manifesting tool.
    Mia, I loved the analogy with the child and the bogeyman — let’s just all give ourselves lots of love & A BIG HUG right now!
    Adrienne … Yes, forgetting about something you really want really helps to manifest it! 🙂

  • Good strategy, Adrianne! I’ll remember that answer next time clients ask whether they should be working on two projects at once or whether that diminishes their focus.
    Excellent plan!
    Thanks for posting, Adrianne. 🙂

  • Adrianne says:

    As usual, great post and great comments!!
    Something that comes to my mind about this “Michael Scott Sabotage scenario” is that it’s really a good idea to have 2 or more big manifesting projects that you’re enthusiastic about. I’ve found this to be a good strategy for me at least.
    If I start to feel stress, struggle, worry, over-analysis or any other negative vibes about one goal I just shift focus to a totally different project that’s also important to me and that I can feel excited about.
    This way I still feel like I am making progress towards creating my ideal life. And, like some commenters have said, often when you finally “forget” about something you really really want… it manifests.
    Because well-being is natural to us, when we take our mind off something we offer no resistance. So then that constant, natural stream of well-being can flow into that “forgotten about” area of our life uninhibited. 🙂

  • My spontaneous thought in reading your comments this morning: “This blog would suck without you guys.”
    I HOPE people know to read the comments here!! In fact, when this site gets redesigned (Nikki’s working on it now), I may have to point that out to newcomers. “The comments are what make this place amazing.”
    If you’re not reading the comments, you’re missing the best part.
    Thank you, everyone, for rocking this place! 🙂
    PS – major exception being the post prior to this one!! But even then, Kim’s responses are as or more fabulous than her original piece!!

  • MissyB says:

    I started writing a post to Kim’s post saying I am always well so my body has nothing to tell me ! I deleted it because I figured I wasn’t contributing anything of use to the subject.
    I’ve been up all night with a nasty stomach bug ! How quickly things can go wrong when you start to think about the situation.
    “You’d better not look down if you want to keep on flying, put the hammer down, keep it full speed ahead”
    – BB King

  • Thanks for reading, Sue – and for writing!
    MissyB – please don’t ever delete a post again! You ALWAYS add something to these conversations!
    Silly bee. 🙂

  • Sue says:

    Iyabo, and Kim, I found your words so soothing
    Love you both………….I’m taking those words
    to work today! Just what I needed to hear
    Jeanette, great article, I LOVE the Office,
    always makes me laugh, and makes me think too,
    such a creative show.
    Dana, love your mission statement!!

  • That’s a liberating quote, Mia. I like the thought of making friends rather than engaging a battle with the inner saboteur.
    Thanks for sharing that, Mia. Just what this post needed!

  • Mia says:

    I’d say don’t beat your saboteur up. He/she is doing the best they can. I like what Brad Yates has to say about that: “Self sabotage is misguided self love.”
    I think if you can relax when you catch your saboteur in action, that’s a great way to come to terms with what’s going on. You can start a little chat with them: “Ok, what’s going on? What are you afraid of?” And take it from there. It’s no use beating them up.
    It’s like a child that is afraid of something and does everything they can to escape the big bad bogeyman. You wouldn’t beat them up for being afraid. You would take them into your arms and hold them until they can relax and tell you their fears. Allow the fears to melt down in a loving embrace. That’s my take on it.

  • Oh my, Dana – this is beautiful:
    “My personal mission is to lead with the love that I am so that others may be inspired to show the world the love that they are. That’s it.”
    Wow! Lovely. 🙂

  • Ha – you always make me smile, Leslie!
    Nice to see you here again. Orange cats and all. 🙂

  • leslie richter says:

    Years ago my neighbor’s cat desperately wanted in the house. I tried everything to discourage him, even sprayed him with water. Saying no to a cat – so unlike me.
    So one summer morning, my husband was away and I woke up to an orange cat curled up sleeping beside me. From then on he came and went as he pleased and had tremendous grace with it. Usually spending the day with me and checking in with the family next door when they came home.
    Perhaps not quite Michael Scotting the situation but definitely going against my nature which didn’t work for me. Of course we are talking about a cat when do you ever get away with saying no to them.

  • Dana - Your Inspired Coach says:

    That’s why I’m just playing. I play, I love, and I practice gratitude. I am not “trying” to make more. I’m just being me. This week I went through a practice that was aimed at helping others find their personal mission statement. I developed mine — at least a working one — for now. My personal mission is to lead with the love that I am so that others may be inspired to show the world the love that they are. That’s it. It is the only reason I’m here.

  • Excellent point, Iyabo! And what a beautiful mission – to help people own their perfection!
    If I could put a spotlight on post comments, this is one I would point to.
    Thank you for sharing this wisdom, Iyabo.

  • Iyabo Asani says:

    If there is one thing I would like to accomplish in my lifetime is to help people really own the vibe of “I am perfect, just the way I am.”
    The minute you see the imperfection, usually in yourself, is the minute that you get out of the vortex! That is when you create distance between what you want and yourself.
    Think about it. Self Sabotage is saying: I am not perfect. I do not deserve perfection so I am going to make sure I do not get perfection.
    Self sabotage is merely a mirror that reflects to you what you are thinking.
    Self sabotage relates to the first Chakra. Our first Chakra relates to the energy of existence and deserving to be alive. Think about the term, “belonging.”
    You see, you show up here on planet earth and that is more than enough worth and value. You are valuable just because you show up for life. Your showing up for life equates with the fact that you are perfect.
    So you deserve everything that you “want.” You are incredible just as you are. You are amazing and powerful. You deserve to continue to soar and experience new heights of ecstasy.
    From this point, which by the way is just the beginning point, how can you sabotage anything that is in your best and highest good?
    Get it?

  • Nicely done, Ben! It isn’t everyone who can spot the trend and change it as effectively as this.
    This is what powerful creation is all about, isn’t it?
    Thanks for chiming in on this conversation, and for showing a perfect example of what we’re capable of when the awareness allows us choice!

  • Ben Weston says:

    Hey Jeannette,
    I’ve definitely Michael Scott-ed my way through potential romantic interests. For my first 2 years in college, as soon as I realized a beautiful and interesting girl was interested in me, I started to act differently, analyze the things I said and did that she was possibly interested in, and tried to maximize those traits. And every time, without fail, things didn’t take off.
    The big aha moment for me was when I was able to realize and accept, that I am a cool guy worth talking to and getting to know. Since then, I’m happy to say that I haven’t Michael Scott-ed my way out of potential romantic interests.

  • LOVE the kitten analogy, Kim!!
    How perfect!
    I am SO using it next time I get anxious about outcomes!! lol
    THANK YOU! 🙂

  • Kim Falconer says:

    This is a wonderful post–and very relevant. I think we all have areas where we get a little anxious about outcomes. I caught myself doing it the other day when looking at book sales figures.
    I think it boils down to self-doubt and my remedy for that is ‘Worth Magic’.
    I am worthy of life
    I am worthy of love
    I am worthy of peace
    I am worthy of success
    I am worthy . . .
    After all, what ever we want it like a kitten. It’s fun and playful and destined to grow into a gorgeous regal cat. Do we worry that the kitten doesn’t know how to grow? Do we poke and prod and pull it to make it happen faster? Would it help if we did?
    All my goals are kittens and they know exactly what to do to become cats!
    🙂 Now, off to play with the litter 😛

  • Ah, Michele, the hidden wisdom in our pop songs! lol
    I think you’ve hit on something that makes it very easy to do just that – hold on loosely. That is to know that if this isn’t it, something better is coming.
    How can you hold on tight when you trust that to be the case?! Powerful thought to embrace.
    God bless Boston for making it so easy and enjoyable to do so. And God bless Michele for bringing it to our conscious attention.
    Huge love, girlfriend. 🙂

  • I think it was some 70s rock band who sang a song with the lyrics:
    “Hold on loosely, but don’t let go.
    If you cling too tightly too it,
    You’re gonna, you’re gonna lose control.”
    [What is a comment without a pop song reference, I ask?]
    But this is precisely what we need to do to avoid the Michael Scott-astic response to being thisclose to our heart’s desire.
    Hold on loosely, but don’t let go.
    And… to remember that if this is not the thing, then something better will come.
    When I started as a coach, I had to talk to six people before one would sign up to work with me. I kept a tally sheet and noted each person I spoke with each day. When I got to six, I said, “Wow! Wonder which one will sign up?” and kept on going. Over time, things shifted and two of six would become clients. Then four of six. Then five of six (hey, I’m not everyone’s perfect coach).
    This probably happened because I was holding on… loosely, but not letting go of who I am as a coach, and what I bring.
    When feeling all Michael Scott, relax, and hum a pop song. Works for me.

  • Isn’t it funny, Zoe?! How we can have one area be so effortlessly relaxed, while another is packed with kryptonite?! lol
    And I think you nailed it: the awareness is where the change starts.
    Then dropping the “shoulds” and “rules” and “I’ll be happy when …” routine that we picked up along the way.
    These were just the big guns I was looking for, girlfriends!
    Thanks for bringing your keen insight and wisdom to this conversation!

  • Zoe Routh says:

    Ok Jeannette, I’ll play! I love Maria’s answer though – when we FTP attachment or need then things start to roll. Which makes me curious about why we get attached in the first place. I think it comes down to the story you tell about it and the shoulda and rules about it.
    Take weight loss for example – why are we attached? We’ve got rules that say we’ll be prettier/happier/more attractive WHEN we lose the weight. The story is about how we need circumstances to change in order for us to feel good. And yet the Universe keeps showing us a different reality – there are all sorts of reasons to feel good right now that don’t prove anything to anyone, least of all yourself. Things like the perfect rainbow when you’re out surfing ( amazing!) or a great hug from someone, or a huge contract that comes out of the blue that you hardly worked on.
    Some of the places we get tripped up are where we define succcess (the terrible when…then… Success formula) and the needing to prove something. At least that’s me!!! This week I had several invitations to publish articles in some big- hitting publications – no effort required on my part, just elation. Why? I don’t need to prove I am a good writer to anyone -I love writing and it feels good ( read good vibe). But when it comes to getting more subscribers on my newsletter list I am totally funked up on this vibe -somewhere along the line I’ve linked #of subscribers to biz success – yee gads! So what happens? Subscriber kryptonite! At least I am aware of it now and that is the first step in vibe remedy!

  • I think that’s our opportunity, Maria, to not even treat it as an “issue.”
    (Iyabo asked that question on the Communion of Light call yesterday, and it feels somewhat similar to me.)
    This is probably why Abraham is always suggesting we get our attention on something that feels positive, right? lol
    Thanks for weighing in on this one, Maria!

  • Maria Lesetz says:

    I meant to say above that I got that Statistical Consulting Contract when I WASN’T so darn laser focused on it and attached to the outcome!
    Attachment means you are not trusting and you are coming from a “lack” mentality!

  • Maria Lesetz says:

    Wow, Jeannette …
    You hit the nail on the head with this one. I remember when I first quit the corporate world to become a Statistical Consultant (yes, that’s what I did in corporate and don’t say “UGH!” 😉
    Anyway, I was focusing on it so much, sending those proposals and waiting for big corporations (who knew of my work) to call me. I expected it instantaneously BUT was seriously attached to it. Then, all of a sudden someone told me about hiring a career coach and I got turned on to the profession of coaching. I was so excited, signed up for Professional Training with Coach U and was 100% juiced about coaching. My mind was OFF the stats consulting and wouldn’t you know … the phone started to ring. I got a $60,000 contract from a company I did business with in corporate and it came just like that — when I was so darn laser focused on it and ATTACHED to the outcome! I let loose and was playing in the coaching field. And I must say, that during my years of running a coaching business, the times where I stopped playing and being loose about it, and started getting all serious and attached to the outcome — BAM! I stopped the flow of business from coming to me.
    And it works that way with weight loss, money, careers, relationships and the list can go on!
    My weight loss clients know that when they just stay in the JOY and forget about the “weight issue” — not even treating it as an issue, the results are positive. When they start judging themselves and getting upset cause they are not there yet … BAM!… Thunder thighs and belly fat! (Well, not exactly, but that’s what they see and the pounds go up!)

  • Wow, that’s interesting, Monica!
    Not even TRYING to leverage it, but just noticing it does it. I suspect you’re right about what’s happening there – picking up “both ends of the stick.” (An Abraham reference for those who aren’t familiar.)
    I’ll invite the big guns to weigh in on this topic … we should be seeing their smiling faces here shortly. 🙂

  • Monica says:

    I am having a similar problem with my blog detailing my recovery from a chronic illness. As soon as I write about an area of improvement, I have a big set back in that same area within a week. And I am not even trying to leverage it or anything, just acknowledging what’s going well.
    I think what is happening is that we are picking up “both ends of the stick”. I hope someone else will have advice on how not to do that! LOL.

  • Bixx, you’re making me laugh with this: “michael scott-ed my way out” .. without a bad hat. I get the impression you’re viewing it with humor, and THAT feels good!
    Glad to know I’m not just making this stuff up in my head, anyway. 🙂
    Thanks for reading and especially for writing, Bixx!

  • bixx says:

    i’m not awesome at the ‘avoiding this fate’ bit so won’t be offering any less-than-golden wisdom chunks but i’ll be looking forward to ideas from those who have a better knack for it.
    but yeah it’s absolutely something i relate to- i think it must be for everyone. there are countless ways it’s happened but the first example that comes to mind was a friendship that developed really organically and snowballed into an awesome thing until one day i got worried (read: paranoid) and full-on michael scott-ed my way out of a five year relationship in about a week. and i did it without a bad hat. nice.

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