My Stylist Can’t Do That For Me

Once upon a time I had my hair done at the salon.

As in, February.

That’s forever ago in hair time.

And it showed.

For a variety of reasons (my stylist had a baby and quit, I got a new foster dog that isn’t housebroken, I don’t actually enjoy sitting in a salon chair for hours on end, etc.), I wasn’t making time for my hair to get professional attention.

And I was not loving how I looked.

The grey regrowth wasn’t my favorite, my ends looked ragged and untended, the color had faded.

Plus I got a sunburn on the lake and my nose was peeling. Had a breakout when I skipped my skin care routine a couple nights in a row.
Long story short, I looked like a hot mess.

At least, I felt like one.

For a while. An uncomfortably long while.

I practiced that vibration of not loving how I looked for several weeks – before I did something about it.

My LOA savvy friends might inagine that “doing something about it” means regaining my alignment by finding better feeling thoughts, or by activating the vibration of feeling beautiful with any one of many manifesting tools at my disposal, but alas.

You’d be wrong.

How I wish you weren’t.

No, what I did was take action.

(Yes, I took action with that messed up vibe. In hindsight I am SMH too.)

So I booked an appointment with a new stylist at a new shop.

And I took that action out of resistance to how I looked.

Not out of self-care; not even out of looking forward to feeling good about I looked again – but rather to stop feeling this bad about my situation.

Savvy creators already know how this story ends, right?

Whenever we take action out of resistance to what we don’t want, especially after we’ve been practicing an unhelpful vibe a while, it likely doesn’t turn out well.

Even despite the fact that I briefly practiced feeling delighted with my hair before I walked through the door, what happened to me in that salon chair was so bad that I took photos to document it.

And posted some of them in a one star review I published online.

I was HOT (and not the good kind).

I couldn’t believe they let me walk out of the shop looking like that. (Long dye marks along my jawline and throat, not to mention a black tipped ear and a ridiculously smudged hairline.)

And that was just the beginning of what was wrong.

Even more infuriating was that I paid money for this to happen.

I texted my mom. I vented to a love interest. I posted at GVU.

I felt that ‘mad’ out all the way. (It even made me laugh how upset I was – over hair!)

After I was done being mad I could see things differently.

I could see that I did get a decent trim. She did solve my grey roots and overly blond problem, which I had asked her to do.

But more importantly, how did I think my stylist could make me look good while I was busy feeling bad about how I looked?

My stylist can’t do that for me.

The same way money can’t make us happy, lovers can’t fulfill us, and professional achievements can’t make us feel successful.

Our vibe rules.

We can only get more of whatever we’re focused on.

So change starts here. Not in the salon chair.

Change happens by finding a way to feel better – before external circumstances warrant it.

Or even by finding a way to perceive external circumstances in a way that helps us feel better now.

I did wonder why my intention to walk out there feeling like a million bucks didn’t work.

But here’s the thing …

It did.

I had a briefly good vibration about feeling great, and I had a brief experience of feeling great while I was still sitting in my stylist’s chair looking in her mirror. At first brief look, I liked it.

It wasn’t until I got home and saw the stray dye marks as well as the ridiculous … wait, I’m not going to describe the rest of the problems in detail, because I at least know that much. I already vented it out to people who love me enough to let me do so.

My point being: my brief “feel good” vibe couldn’t override the weeks I’d been flowing “ugh, you look like hell” vibe.

So within an hour of posting my negative review I deleted it, realizing this wasn’t my stylist’s fault.

This was a vibrational misfire on my part, and one that I alone am responsible for. Not my stylist, not the person who recommended this shop, not the salon owner who reassured me she was booking me with a good stylist.

Not in a judging, blaming way. But in an empowered effective way.

THIS is the story that is more appropriately reported online. Not the one about the unprofessional salon or the sloppy stylist, but the one about how we ourselves are responsible for what happens – based on what we’re vibrating.

So here’s to little things like hair mishaps as reminders to tend the focus above all else.

I’ll take it from here. 🙂

  • July 8, 2017
  • Mary Lou says:

    I simply adore your posts. You make it so easy to relate to the real world – and to accept that our vibration is key. I’m on my way to creating a solid habit of remembering and knowing “I CREATED THAT”. Sometimes it sucks to have to admit it, but it’s true, and inspires me to tend to always find what feels good – or just a little bit better.

  • Kelly says:

    And comment 2- this goes for all the cardio and leg lifts in the world truly don’t do much (or even the opposite, contrary to muggle logic and science) if I don’t love how I look in advance of any body changes:)

  • Kelly says:

    Omg Jeannette such an appropriate story for me. My 3 min of nevilizing per day can’t counteract me not feeling the vibe of feeling loved! My boyfriend said I’ve told you 50 times in the last day I want to be with you but nothing gets through to you:)
    Ah so it isn’t focusing on manifesting a live in relationship or a proposal or him doing anything but feeling lusciously loved and letting the good stuff flow from there:)

  • Roger says:

    You look great. Anyone seeing you for the first time would think so too.

  • Mindy J says:

    Loved this post!
    I’ve been down that road. Went in one time with hair past my shoulders and came out with a Mia Farrow hairdo so short I couldn’t even style it! it happened so fast!
    Actually, I’ve had several…but more importantly, what I gleaned from your experience, is that it’s not the horrible haircut or style or stylist…right? It is as you say…”Whenever we take action out of resistance to what we don’t want, especially after we’ve been practicing an unhelpful vibe a while, it likely doesn’t turn out well.”
    As I’ve said before, if something is going awry…my go to is to DO something different…as in ACTION. But now, I’m going to make sure my vibe is lined up before taking ACTION!!! Thanks! I hope you are back to your lovely self now with hair that feels great! 🙂

  • Janette says:

    Brilliant reminder.
    Cuz it applies to EVERYTHING.
    And I can immediately see areas where I could lift my game.
    I’m not telling the stories about where and why (obviously)
    I’m just doing it! Thank youuuuuuuuu!!

  • Kim says:

    I love the post.
    You know, I’ve not been to a salon in 20 years, since my stylist died. I do it all myself.
    It’s normal to have those hairline stains for 36 hours, right?
    More importantly, your story applies to EVERYTHING, of course. A relationship. A housing situation *cough cough*. A career. Health. $$.
    When we’re in it, it’s so hard to ‘see the forest.’
    Is gaining a new perspective step one?
    Seeing things differently?

  • Roger says:

    Can’t wait to see you.

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