Not Intended for All Audiences

Ready for a breath of fresh air? Β Enjoy this most excellent guest post from my good friend and colleague, Frank Butterfield …
Frank Butterfield

Picture it: The year is 2013 and the place is a Starbucks in northwest New Jersey.

After a fabulous weekend in Vermont with amazing friends alongside beautiful Lake Champlain under a canopy of golden autumn leaves, I’m zipping my way down the east coast towards Key West.

Why? I don’t know. It just feels better to do so.

I have my Earl Gray tea and am watching the NYC-bound commuters come in and get their morning fuel, enjoying the sight of so many handsome gentlemen, and enjoying the fact that my day has three calls scheduled and a drive down to Baltimore and anything else I care to add to the mix.

I’m reading my Facebook and a friend (an awesome coach) posts a question about clients and marketing and I write that I’ve noticed that the less I reach for clients, the better things go.

Then, BAM!

I get called out. I am told that the way I run my business is ruining other people’s lives.

This awesome coach (he really is) is now the wing that some nestlings have found and now that they are on the right track with his program and his approach, they are sure to find flight and become the very majestic eagles they have always been destined to become.

This kicks ass! In a major way!

Only… my process (I have a process?) and the way I do business (I have a way of doing business?) have hurt these nestlings and they must be healed. Or, to quote verbatim, “people are going broke doing business with you.”

Wow! OK!

Now, I don’t know who these people are specifically. And, I don’t know what I was doing or what they were doing that caused them to go broke (they went broke?).

If they had come to me and told me this, I would have said, among other things, “OMG!

You need to find someplace else that feels better! Stat!”

But, instead I have a bit of a broadside followed by shame and confusion and guilt. Which are mine, 100%. I can temporarily pretend they aren’t, but they are.

On the practical side, I stayed true to myself by acknowledging how wonderful it is that these folks found him and his work. I stand behind that 110% because I know it is absolutely true.

Now, today, after sitting with this, I’ve realized a few things.

Based on what this coach said, he isn’t really that familiar with my work, even though he claimed to be.

These people who found him have done the right thing for themselves, and that is what is most important since I truly want everyone to actually have what they actually want.

What this coach has done here is help me get more clarity than ever before about my work.

I don’t market my services like anyone else I know. I just follow what feels better to me.

I don’t do business like anyone else I know. I just follow what feels better to me.

What I offer is very unique and not a fit for everyone and that’s exactly right.

I also now get it that he is lumping me in with other people that I am assuming would be called “Law of Attraction folks.”

In other words, we’re the people who advocate that if you just throw it over to the Universe, you can sit on the couch all day and eat bon-bons and you’ll get everything you want. You know — like they said in The Secret.

Except, of course, that’s not what my work is about at all. Nor is that what any of these so-called “Law of Attraction folks” are saying or demonstrating either.

What he helped me realize is that I believe in what is coming through me because I walk that talk. I live my life according to the ideas that are coming through when I am channeling my handsome non-physical friends.

And, in fact, I’m doing exactly what I have always wanted to do — in terms of how I create money, how I live my life, and all the good stuff that I am willing to allow.

Oh, and there’s the rub: all that I am willing to allow.

If you have dilly-dallied with these “Law of Attraction” concepts, you might not get that the real “work” is to continuously open up more and more to allow what you actually want.

And while stuff is part of what I want, I’m much more interested in awareness, experiences, and qualities in the different relationships I have.

I do get all sorts of stuff that I want because I ask for it. But then I do have to actually ask for it and I do have to actually allow it. And, if you understand this whole intentional and deliberate creation thing, then you know that this sounds laughably easy and is fundamentally simple in concept but is a lifetime of exploration (delicious exploration, I might add) in application.

My life is infinitely better than it has ever been that I can ever remember. And, as good as it is, it will be getting better and better.

So, I’m deeply appreciating my friend the coach for what he brought forth in his dismissal and warning. My work is not for everyone. That’s why I offer hours and hours of free samples of what it’s like so anyone interested will know if it is for them. But, mostly I let the Universe sort that out for me. And that’s working better and better, the more I let it happen.

What do you do when someone comes along and tells you that you are crazy for believing that you can intentionally create your life?

Find Frankie B and his non-physical friends at Communion of Light, where those hours of free samples will deliver delightful inspiration on a wide variety of helpful topics.Β 

  • October 9, 2013
  • Julie B says:

    Great post Frank!! I agree w/ the other Julie, that guy was a bit of a sh*t, however I love how you got to a good place so quickly,,, Thank you for that!

  • Chip says:

    To quote Deborah D.
    “1. Comparing what you do with folks and what the other coach does is like comparing oranges to jet engines.”
    I’ve worked with both parties on joint ventures. This could not be a more apt comparison.
    On the other hand, oranges are easier to eat and taste better than jet engines. #justsayin’
    Life Surfer

  • Thanks for sharing. I think we all get told stories about ourselves that we don’t like at times. I agree with the comments that those stories have to do more with the person doing the telling than ourselves, but it’s a good reminder to keep focusing on our own story and the fact that we can do it any way we want to. We know how to do it and you are a powerful example! I love how you allow yourself to create life the way you want it. πŸ™‚

  • Chip says:

    My view on this topic after all is said and done, is that we have two people came together to intentionally experience contrast. At least one of the two was able to recognize the contrast for what it was, a chance to choose something more empowering. Each participant was a vibrational match to the encounter.
    By embracing the contrast, Frank was able to examine the cluster of thoughts that arose. As he became okay with them, they became unattached and were able to evolve away from him. The other party, I suspect, will have to run this one up the flagpole a few more times until the contrast is powerful enough to get his attention.
    No one is right and no one is wrong. They are both doing things perfectly.
    Life Surfer

  • Sejual Shah says:

    Frank – I value the clarity of your post and the focus you’re bringing to refining and defining your niche. A friend drew my attention to the Facebook thread some days after the event, so I missed the firework party at the time – the Tuscan sunshine I was basking under was pretty wonderful at the time!
    One of the things I admire about the coach you mention is his powerful alignment with social media. He sparkles in this arena and that is his magnetic allure. He is congruent with it working for him and others in ways that make sense to him. However, outside of those boundaries he has no patience with exploring why and how it works for him.
    I know this at first hand having masterminded with him on a peer-to-peer basis over 4 years, i.e. unpaid and with help both ways. I chose to end our masterminding this March because he got pushy and rude with how I was marketing my business in ways that did not add up to him.
    The interesting thing is that my business was very successful before we started masterminding – I was doing lucrative corporate EFT abroad in a contract I’d secured before he and I connected. Within 9 months of working with him the contract came to an end. Other work that was promised failed to manifest. I went through 18 months of struggle with my business before my one to one coaching settled into a sustainable business. I learnt so much in that time about myself and grew through ease and being present as truly myself. 2 months after I ended masterminding with him my corporate EFT work started flowing again with magnificent bookings and clients coming out of the blue. Most importantly my sense of freedom in my business has grown and grown.
    I’m not suggesting this coach is poor at what he does. He does wonderful work with some of his clients. Those he hasn’t served well go elsewhere. They are unlikely to write scathing posts publicly calling him out – it’s not compassionate after all.
    Coming back to your post, getting clarity on whom we can serve and work with is key. I got clear he wasn’t able to help me. In the ups and downs I had with my corporate work he was not responsible. I created that experience for myself. My interactions with him helped me get clearer and clearer on what I want for myself and the kind of advice that best serves me.
    As for CoL, Julie Bernstein Engelmann put it so well in her post on the blog. CoL has saved my life and expanded my sense of well-being in ways that are rich and profound.
    I’m also clear that there is a distinction between Frank and CoL. I don’t expect Frank to be CoL. He’s a human with a learning and growing edge like we all have. I want the people who work and play with me to recognise that we have vulnerabilities and growing edges. Compassion helps us move through that rather than ‘calling out’ someone’s behaviour in an unbecoming way.

  • Well I have a few things to say.
    1. Comparing what you do with folks and what the other coach does is like comparing oranges to jet engines. There just isn’t a valid comparison. It baffles my mind to even try.
    2. “Calling someone out” is an interesting way of communicating. In my world, I prefer to respect all approaches, have compassion for where folks are coming from, and recognize the amazing diversity and uniqueness of all of us.
    3. Having been a student of Abe, then totally appalled by the LOA craze/faze after The Secret, seeing the coach you are mentioning dabble in LOA and then move on, and having a dear friend who’s a religious science minister who’s taught me some of the earthly foundation and history of LOA, and having a very strong sense of who I am, I have a pretty clear and discerning radar about whom I want to work with. I’m out of this world delighted with the results and information and change I’m getting from working with you.
    I’m delighted your work isn’t for everyone.
    4. And finally what a wonderful example of modeling what to do with contrast.

  • Well, it’s not my usual way, but I think I’ll step up here and say the obvious: that this coach was being a bit of a sh*t at that moment. Even some of us regular folks know that it’s underhanded to do an intervention on Facebook in the middle of a thread. But whatever the method, it is refreshing and healthy that you both laid your cards on the table. I, for one, can say that “doing business with you” has saved and transformed my life in the most profound and tangible of ways.

  • Thanks for chiming in, Deborah. (And sorry your comment got hung up in spam for some reason – thanks for the heads up to go liberate it!)
    And Janette, I’m with you on celebrating the variety of doorways!

  • Janette says:

    Holy cow! Well, I’m with Jackie on the lemme at ’em…. and also wondering ‘is MY way of doing business sending anyone broke???’ Yikes!
    And then I remember something I wrote just a few hours ago, that I really believe. There are SO many ways to the core of how this stuff works. And by ‘this stuff’ I mean deliberate creation, conscious choosing, LOA, whatever term we have for it.
    Some of us get to it via the science (putting my hand up as the geek in the room). Some of us get to it via the woowoo. Some of us accidentally land on the grace of it and have such natural skill we don’t even know we’re doing anything special.
    This guy, whoever he was, was the right doorway for some people. And Frank and Jeannette and Jackie and Nat and I are the right doorways for others.
    And that’s exactly perfect. Universe loves lots of doorways!
    As for telling someone they’re responsible for sending someone else broke? Well, in my book that’s not going to be 100% aligned with unicorns and rainbows, but I can see how the contrast led to some pretty dang fine clarity. And THAT is a beautiful gift.
    So thanks, Mr Whoever You Are Fantabulous Other Coach. Because anything that makes Frank write a blog post like this is not all bad.

  • Years ago I studied Abe’s work and was attracted to it but also found something lacking for me. I veered away from the LOA craze but still had a deep yearning for something powerful. Your work is meeting that yearning for me. The insights you share and that I receive are life-changing, expansive, and kick-ass awesome. Thank you for following your process so it can be part of mine. And it’s only going to get better and better ….

  • Agreed, Nat, that there is huge liberation in realizing we don’t all need to agree!! lol
    How cool a system we get to play in!! πŸ™‚

  • @Jackie re:”whoever said those things is reflecting outwardly what they have going on within”
    Good point Jackie. This coach expressed what was true for him – not that it’s bad or anything. It was just what he believe worked for him. And naturally he moved away from supporting what Frank was teaching because it didn’t resonate with his truth.

  • The vibration of this blog always goes up when you show up for the party, Frankie B.
    Thanks for delivering such a great example of how to manage it when we’re publicly criticized for our work. I think there are many who share that fear of rejection, and I imagine many of us have played with it in many ways over our lifetimes.
    I’m obviously a huge proponent of your take on getting clients, and I love that it was such a powerful principle for you to take heat on.
    You rock!

  • “What do you do when someone comes along and tells you that you are crazy for believing that you can intentionally create your life?”
    Great question! This really is what it’s about, isn’t it? Your path works for you. Your path may not work for me. And that’s actually perfect.
    I also like that this contrast has helped Frank get so much clearer on who he is and what works for him. And that he’s okay with the fact that he’s not the guide for everyone. I think it’s incredibly freeing to embrace this truth.

  • Thanks for asking and posting this Jeannette! I really love the synchronicity that was at play in getting this to happen. Such an honor, always, to be here!

  • Jackie says:

    My first thought: Who was mean to Frank? Lemee at um! Then I realized that whoever said those things is reflecting outwardly what they have going on within. Sure hope they get happy and get over themselves.

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