Pulling the Plug on Fun?

Deliberate creators know two things:

  1. how important it is to be happy, have fun, and enjoy (i.e. get in the vortex) and
  2. how often life presents challenges to do so.

Case in point:

My ex called last night to report one of his cats missing. Turbo escaped through a basement door inadvertently left open, and despite late night hours of searching, calling, and checking with neighbors, the adventurous feline hasn’t been spotted.

Verrall was worried. His anxiety-filled words to me: “Turbo’s gone.”

He recapped all the desperate action he’d taken to try to bring him home.

I told him to relax and let that cat come home after his big adventure is over.

I reminded him Universe can’t deliver “found” while you’re so strongly dialed on “lost.”

“So relax.”

He did one better … and went jet skiing for the day.

When I heard that he was spending the day at the lake, I judgmentally thought, “Well, I might have stayed home to open the door for the guy when he shows up” – but the truth is you can’t deny the power of having fun to get what you want.

Which was interesting because I had just begun writing this post about when we justify pulling the plug on fun.

I’m talking about the situations we resign ourselves to going through despite the fact that it is absolutely no fun.

  • Like taking those phone calls from family and/or friends that don’t feel appropriate to ignore.
  • Or doing the household chores that simply have to be done.
  • Or going to jobs we detest.
  • Or doctor visits we don’t look forward to.
  • Or life events like funerals, protest campaigns, PTA meetings and such.

There are some things in life we have come to expect that simply have to be done or gotten through even though there isn’t an iota of fun or happiness in it for us.

Which is pretty ridiculous when we understand the role that our energy plays in how life unfolds.

Because anything that isn’t a good time isn’t taking us where we want to be.

And yet we still do it sometimes, don’t we?

The last time I did it was when I (believed I) had to phone the tree spray company to find out what they did to make four bushes die in the backyard. I wasn’t looking forward to the call; I didn’t want to argue about who was at fault and how they were going to fix it; and I certainly didn’t enjoy looking at the struggling plants.

I put the call off for several couple weeks, waiting for a more appealing option to reveal itself, but that didn’t happen. So I finally bit the bullet and made the call.

That might be a sign! Any time we feel like we’re biting the bullet, maybe we should skip it altogether – or at least re-think it to get on a better vibe!

Anyway, as expected, it wasn’t the most pleasant phone call of my week. I had to be annoyingly insistent that they send someone out. Which they reluctantly agreed to do at the beginning of the week.

Which gave me time to realize how un-fun I was making this whole experience.

Luckily, by the time the guy showed up I had committed to having fun in this experience.

I intended we have a good conversation and that I felt treated like gold, which is exactly what happened.

Their guy explained how our extremely wet spring allowed for more fungus growth than usual, which two bushes were falling victim to. He explained to me how he knew that, and it made perfect sense. He also explained what was happening to the other two bushes, which had nothing to do with spray treatments.

We joked a little bit about how I had no idea what could have done them in other than his company. He was very sweet about it! He let me pick his brain for thoughts about a couple of other things in the yard (a bare spot in the lawn, an evergreen with spider mites), for which he generously shared resources and tips. It was a fun conversation! (And for those of you who know about my handsome man vibration – yes, he was cute, too.)

So here I had believed that calling to complain about service wasn’t fun. And I very easily left that element out of this equation, because we KNOW that sort of thing isn’t any fun.

That’s worth questioning.

And if we really can’t find the enjoyment in it, then it’s worth questioning that we do it.


Because the bottom line is that if it’s not fun, or we if we can’t find some enjoyment in it, why do it? Abandoning the enjoyment is an upstream journey and we all know everything we want is downstream!

I also believe it’s possible to find the fun in just about anything once we intend it.

So let’s not be so quick to pull the plug on fun. Because the truth is skipping the fun, enjoyment and happiness is like taking the long road to our happy ending.

And we know better than that.  😉

UPDATE: Turbo returned home on his own just before midnight on the day my ex went jet-skiing. Yay!

  • August 22, 2010
  • Great story, as usual, Jeannette…but WHERE do you get your images!?! I particularly love this one…in fact, it’s WHY I read the post!
    OK, so it looks like a European plug by the shape of it and the on/off switch for the plug…but I *LOVE* the whimsical design of the night light. Probably not the best choice if you have babies or low-to-the-floor family members/pets, but still…LOVE IT!
    Many blessings,

  • Kati says:

    OMG, I absolutely LOVE the quote from Martha Beck! Thanks, Jeannette! 🙂
    And you go Nikky!! 🙂 I’m right there with you -making things FUN! 🙂 Btw, I am planning to go/move (-yet to be decided) to Australia with a little baby next year, so when I read “Sydney” from your post – right away I thought: “A hint here maybe? To let me know to clean up some vibes first?..” 😛 So, thank you for posting, because you gave me clarity! 😉

  • Nikky says:

    Thank you Jeannette for the good words………and thank you Jannette and specially thank you Kati for putting up that Abe you tube link……From NOW onwards I am going make what I am doing, what I want to do…..love that….its a huge relief. 🙂
    Awesome post !!!

  • JG. says:

    I was just wondering if Ande is not truly connected to that “fascinating chapter of the memoir I’ll write someday about our awesome success (such memoirs are always much more fun if you wallow in crud a bit first)” she is going to write someday….

  • I, too ,struggle on and off with “the dishes.” I am the only one in the house that does them, and because I’m the only one who is bugged by a dirty kitchen, if I want it done, it’s up to me.
    The last year or so I’ve great come to terms with it using gratitude (at least I have a dishwasher, at least I have enough to food to even make dirty plates that means I’m fed well, etc…) and listening to music or inspiration mp3s while I’m doing it (I call it “motivational multi-tasking”).
    It’s not perfect (I still get irritated sometimes) but I don’t have the resistance or the urge to pick a huge fight with my husband about who is doing more around the house!
    Much more enjoyable house hold for all of us to live in.

  • “Look at it in a way that aligns you.” Nice quote from that clip, Kati – thanks for sharing it here!
    A former client just sent me this quote from Martha Beck that was along the lines of this blog post topic, too:
    Your “funprint” (the pattern of activities you most enjoy) isn’t a frivolous indulgence. It is the map of your true life, an instruction manual for your essential purpose, written in the language of joy. Learning to read and respond to it is one of the most crucial things you’ll ever do. —Martha Beck, O Magazine- May, 2002

  • Kati says:

    I have always had this huge resistance when it comes to washing dishes! And for some twisted reason – there seems to be an endless stream of them.. And it especially annoys me when I have something else I’d rather be doing instead, like working on my blog for example, which for the past week or so (I just started it :)) has been the absolute happy place for me! 🙂
    So, a few days ago, right after I had washed a pile of dishes again and was in my.. Well, waaay out of the Vortex mood.. I decided to look for some upliftment (= Abraham! :)) and this is what I “stumbled upon”:
    …Appreciating washing dishes is now my thing and the thought of doing that always makes me laugh, so.. I think the resistance is lifting here, because after this video I have had basically nothing to wash anymore! This works quick! 🙂

  • Ande says:

    Thanks, Jeannette. It confirms that we’re on the right track. That is what we’ve done. We have scraped back to bare bones–only budgeting for fixed, necessary expenses, food and care of our dog and nothing else, and with what we’ve done so far, we’re still coming up short of our monthly expenses, BUT we’re grateful for the money we do have coming in, and we spend our free time talking about how lucky we are to have the things we have and live where we live (by the beach) and I laugh and say that I’m creating a fascinating chapter of the memoir I’ll write someday about our awesome success (such memoirs are always much more fun if you wallow in crud a bit first 😉 ). So I feel like we’re doing what we can and allowing more.
    Thanks again!

  • Ande says:

    If I understand this right, the best thing to do is to do what feels good, what you feel moved to do, what sounds fun or otherwise lights you up. But sometimes, like when you son poops in the tub (love that story), you have to do something that at first thought doesn’t seem all that fun. And when that happens, your only choice is to find a way to feel good about it. Right?
    I’m going to offer a different example than clean ups. For the last many years, my husband and I have been focused on building an income from my writing and from an online business. Instead of the success we envisioned, we have ended up in bankruptcy and he now has two jobs and I am having to do a lot of online work that’s the job equivalent of cleaning up poop.
    It would be lovely if we could just sat back and say “this isn’t fun so we won’t do this,” but with less than half of what’s needed to pay this months bills in the bank and nothing in reserve, would that be the best thing to do? Refuse to work, go hang out on the beach and feel good and expect money to land in our laps? Can it work like that? Can you have 2 weeks worth of money in hand and no idea how more is coming and just go play, expecting that something great will happen? I’d love to hear what others think of making such a choice.
    I think it can work that way but only if there’s not a trace of resistance and since when one has less money than is needed to pay bills and none coming in it’s kind of challenging not to be aware of that, resistance is rather natural.
    We decided the path of least resistance was to have him take the jobs and have me do whatever I could online and we’re trying to find the fun in it (he’s doing better at that than I am). The tricky part is doing this and still feeling successful and free even in the midst of a what is that doesn’t match that feeling.
    I think it’s useful to talk about whether or not to clean or how to feel good about cleaning, but I’d love to get input on applying the same ideas to keeping a roof over your head.
    … And I’m very happy to hear that Turbo came home!

  • Finding reasons to laugh is SO powerful!! Good “work,” Ande.
    In fact, this discussion reminded me of this Abe quote (I highlighted parts):
    There are people who are earning, all around this world, so disproportionate to the action that they are offering that you could not possibly reconcile the wealth that’s flowing to them. You just can’t reconcile it. There are a majority of people that are accustomed to performing an action and receiving a financial response. Performing an action and receiving a financial response. And when your income is tied to an action, the amount that you can receive, propotionately, is miniscule. When you’re trying to make it happen by performing an action, you are limited by the beliefs that you have about time and space. In other words, you will say “I only make this much per hour and there’s only this many hours in a day.” And then you can work overtime, and you can work double time, and you can work extra time, and you can leverage your time in different ways. But until you leverage thru alignment, you really are in the category with millions of other people where not very much is gonna happen. Where if you say “I’m willing to play the game differently, I’m willing to accept on faith, maybe a little, that Abraham’s right and that all of the struggling that I’ve done has put a lot of money for me in vibrational escrow, and I’m willing to go on faith that this universe is abundance and that there is an open valve for me through which I can receive abundance. I’m willing to go along with that idea. And I’m willing to play it that way for just a little while where instead of considering action in relationship to money, I instead consider emotion in relationship to money. How do I feel about money? How do I feel about money? I’m gonna leverage through emotion rather than bang it out through action.”
    Now that doesn’t mean stop your action. Go to work, do whatever you need to do. Let the money come in in the little, mediocre, pitiful way that it flows into your experience. In other words you don’t want to pinch that off. Let it come. But while it’s coming, appreciate it. While it’s coming, look forward to it. While it’s coming, compliment yourself and compliment others. In other words let it be an energy game while you’re living the action game, because you can do both. It doesn’t have to be one or the other.
    Abraham, Asheville, NC – 10/21/06

  • Ande, you said, “It would be lovely if we could just sat back and say “this isn’t fun so we won’t do this,” but with less than half of what’s needed to pay this months bills in the bank and nothing in reserve, would that be the best thing to do? Refuse to work, go hang out on the beach and feel good and expect money to land in our laps? ”
    I’d say that yes, that would work beautifully (to run away to the beach and forget the stuff that doesn’t feel good) if you could really enjoy that.
    But as you said, for most people it would be challenging to sit on the beach and not worry about the money. Which would just mean that your money worries could even ruin a day at the beach.
    So the question always becomes – how can I give myself some relief right here, right now?
    In your case, it probably isn’t the beach. For someone else, it might be.
    For me if I were in dire financial straits, it would more likely be to get the best paying job I could come up with (and minimize some expenses) which would be very easy for me to be grateful about considering the income is keeping me afloat and that skipping life’s luxuries are helping me get my finances headed in a better direction. Focusing on the progress and reminding myself why I was doing this would help me keep the vibe up and allow a better situation to unfold.
    And no matter what my circumstances were, I would know that somewhere, someone would love to trade places with me. That helps me stay connected to appreciation, too.
    We know this much: it doesn’t serve to worry, and finding a way to feel better makes all the difference in the world.
    Does that help at all, Ande?

  • Isn’t that the truth, Nicole?! (“… kids are so excited about things we think are mundane and boring … staring at ceiling fans, pushing tv buttons, playing house, sweeping with a broom, climbing stairs, and yes pooping in tubs!”)
    They’re such great role models!

  • Nicole says:

    LOL the poop story is great Nathaniel. Yet another adventure of parenting. Who would have thought such little creatures could create such dastardly things!
    Love this post – its a relief to know that we can have fun in all the little things in life. Sometimes as deliberate creators we think big things have to come our way for the fun to happen. I love the way kids are so excited about things we think are mundane and boring. Children are fascinated by staring at ceiling fans, pushing tv buttons, playing house, sweeping with a broom, climbing stairs, and yes pooping in tubs! =)

  • You make me feel so skilled, Robert! ha
    Answer: google images, bigstockphoto. istockphoto and sometimes shutterstock.
    Glad you like them – sometimes it takes a while to find the right one.
    Thanks for noticing. 🙂

  • Robert says:

    I really love the picture that goes with this post. Where do you find such great pictures Jeannette?

  • Oh, Parul! I was just reading a guy’s LOA blog (Josh Williams, I think) who said that hanging out with someone who is successful can rub off on you. And Lord knows you’ve got the success vibe flowing!! Thanks for rubbing off on us, Parul!!

  • Parul says:

    WOW! Turbo came home shortly after I commented!!!! Goosebumps!!
    BTWW, awesome story! 🙂

  • I think you just proved yourself a dream come true husband, let alone manifestor, Nathaniel. I LOVED this in particular: “Everything needed to have a fun time is in the VOrtex. I am the only missing component.”
    Thanks for bringing Inner Being into the conversation! That’s a pretty quick turnaround when we recognize what those strong emotions are telling us.

  • Nathaniel says:

    Just so everyone knows–I did get my son Sebastina out of the tub and cleaned off and ready for bed. And I did get all the toys out and soaking in a bin. And I cleaned all the poop out of the tub and wiped everything down so when my wife did come home she just had to do a more thorough scrub. But at least she didn’t have to see the mess.

  • Nathaniel says:

    Why do I hate to do things in the first place? If I am hating or dreading a task (like cleaning up my 3 yr old’s poop from the bathtub) then it is because I am feeling negative emotion and negative expectation-which means Source sees things differently.
    I have to remind myself frequently If I am experiencing strong emotion it is strong guidance. It is not about cleaning the poop mess–it is about me.
    I am not looking forward to cleaning the poop because I think it is going to require a lot lot lot more energy than I currently have and I don’t believe it will be fun because poop smells and it looks gross when floating in water. First I hae to get my son out of the tub who is playing poop water, and clean him off. Then I will have to get gloves and scrub the toys that got poop on them and find the right cleaner and do all of these little steps.
    But as soon as Me and my Inner Being sees the poop in the bathtub–My Inner Being focuses on how fun this task could be. How much energy could be summoned to complete it fast and efficently. My Inner Being doesn’t focus on the smell or sight of the poop–it focuses on the fun of executing. Doing somethigng extremely well is fun. And My Inner Being knows it will attract the wisdom, energy, and resources needed to do the job well.
    Everything needed to have a fun time is in the VOrtex. I am the only missing component. To have fun I have to imagine and expect it to be so.
    Which is too much to ask sometimes. And why I put it off for later when My wife can help out.

  • A-freakin-men to that, Marielle!! “It’s time to commit more to feeling good than to doing what’s ‘right’ socially.”
    WOO HOO!!

  • Mariëlle says:

    My boyfriend and I have talked a lot about the same subject the last couple of weeks because some extraordinary things had happened as a result of doing something from a place of split energy, and the conclusion was: don’t do it if it doesn’t feel like you want to do it. It’s time to commit more to feeling good than to doing what’s ‘right’ socially.
    The other option is of course to change the way you think about it before you do it anyway (when there are reasons to do so). I’ll keep that in mind next time and give it a try. Thanks!

  • He hadn’t returned when I posted this, Vicky, but shortly after Parul commented he came home.
    My ex said he had taken the dogs outside for their last break, said to one of his dogs (named Angel), “Angel, I sure wish Turbo would come home.” He reports that as soon as he said it, Turbo came running up the sidewalk right to him.
    My ex was pretty happy. 🙂

  • Janette, I am totally laughing at how you noticed you were “preparing your remarks” (as one of my clients calls prepping for an argument) before it happened!
    Yay for takeout and I LOVE your manifestation around cleaning! Nicely done, girlfriend!

  • Parul says:

    How about listening to some high vibing music as you go about the chores?
    Just an idea… 🙂

  • Janette says:

    Ooh! I can so relate to this thread, LOL! About two weeks ago my beloved iPod speakers (great sound, and a rechargeable battery so I can take them on the road) developed a break in the recharge cable. They were still under warranty, so I happily trotted along and pick up a replacement, a brand-new unit. Same fabulous sound, but the rechargeable battery was a disaster–wouldn’t stay charged, wouldn’t even turn on unless it was plugged into the wall!
    As I drove to the store with receipt and warranty in hand, I caught myself rehearsing a difficult and angry conversation with sales staff BEFORE I EVEN GOT THERE! Happily, I realised in time and flipped the intention around to having an easy peasy experience. And of course, I did 🙂 Now, I’m listening to dreamy music, knowing my speakers will keep going for about eight hours. Bliss!
    Nikky, I totally get where you’re coming from! I don’t mind cooking, per se, but I hate when it becomes a chore. When I can feel that chore vibe, I just pick up the phone and order takeaway. Feels great!
    Cleaning is definitely on my list of “things I hate to do” and to be honest both my husband and I can be very dirt-blind so neither of us has a strong motivation to clean, LOL! I had been wanting to hire someone for AGES, but hubby (bless his heart) was very uneasy about having someone else in our house. Last year I injured my arm, and as a result the house went uncleaned for about six months (seriously!!). Eventually, when we had enough dust bunnies for a remake of Watership Down, and the ceiling cobwebs were providing sufficient insulation to lower our heating bills, I figured enough was enough. A friend had recommended someone to help us with the big house clean before we moved into our current place, and he had done a great job, so I called him in for a quote. Long story short, he spent several hours restoring the place to shiny health, and now comes for a couple of hours every fortnight. Hubby even lets him dust the TV and Blu-ray player! And it might sound strange, but now that Mick does our cleaning I don’t have nearly the same levels of dislike for cooking.
    If you hate doing it and can’t find a fun way, there will be someone else out there who can do it for you. It might be hubby, it might be someone you can pay or barter with, but there is someone. Figure out which thing you dislike the most, and if you can’t make it fun, get rid of it.
    I also found cooking became less of a chore when I started taking shortcuts – ingredients pre-cut, curry pastes, etc. I know living in Sydney you will have access to some amazing fresh ingredients, and perhaps searching them out could inspire you? I would imagine you also have access to some great healthy inexpensive takeaway; Sydney and Melbourne are home to some fantastic international cuisine options at all budget levels. Have you seen the Sydney Morning Herald good food guide? Check out http://www.smhshop.com.au/products.php?section=books and see if it would be helpful.

  • Vicky White says:

    And the cat? Did he come back?
    Thanks for the great reminder – I know this, but I forget too! I love having permission to skip what isn’t fun.

  • Your inner guidance knows the answer, Nikky. Tune in and listen for it.
    I know mine says “screw it” pretty easily. I don’t cook (eat out regularly, lots of salads, sandwiches and Amy’s frozen foods at home, Russ cooks on occasion – it works for me); I’m particular about the cleaning I do (love vacuuming, love windows & mirrors, but it’s a blue moon when scrubbing grout sounds like a good idea).
    When I moved into my first house and I was doing a lot of things on my own that I didn’t used to do (when I lived in an apartment or with my folks), I reveled in the independence factor. I was a homeowner! Mowing my very own lawn!! (I got goosebumps just typing that!) I got to decide how many dishes piled up before I washed them; I got to decide how empty the cupboards got before I shopped; it was up to me to pay the utilities to make sure we had electricity and water. That perspective was highly empowering to me, undoubtedly because independence is one of my core values.
    When you can bring a core value to it, it’s a guaranteed good time. 😉

  • Nikky says:

    Your post comes at a time when I need to hear these words the most.
    As you know I moved countries recently and now am in Sydney and for the first time am cooking and cleaning and all on my own and not enjoying it.( In India we have help easily available for this kind of stuff)
    I cant NOT do it coz I have a baby to feed apart from hubby and me ( We could still eat junk and get away to be honest)
    So here I am cooking and cleaning and trying to be excited and find the joy in it but not so often I am reminded of how upstream all this seems. Hope someone in your deliberate creators team comes up with some useful advice on this one……….thanks everyone in advance.

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