Q&A: How Did I Manifest Death?

A dear friend of mine, and of many in this Good Vibe community, lost his nine year old stepdaughter in a traffic accident on Mother’s Day. 
Her memorial is tomorrow, and our friend is asking the toughest questions when dealing with tragic death.
“How did I manifest this?” he asks.  “And why?  I’m doing my best to create better vibes, but my thinking is shot to hell.”
I’ll post my response for whatever it’s worth (as someone who hasn’t been through this experience), but I’d love to hear input from other creators who are willing to offer helpful and supportive perspectives. 
How do you answer the toughest law of attraction questions about death and our role in creating it?  What would you say to someone feeling the weight of responsibility and loss at a time like this?
I’m turning this one over to you all, since it’s the best way I know how to help.
And sending enormous love and compassion to our dear friend, Michael, and his entire family. 
PS – I’ll post a link to her memorial fund as soon as I can find it.

  • May 15, 2009
  • Michael says:

    Thanks so much to everyone. This input has brought a very deep sense of ‘not being alone’ during this time.
    Honestly, right now, my vibes pretty much suck, so thanks for hanging with me/us.
    We’ve found moments of lifting with friends and pictures and the memorial was quite healing if only for a short while.
    I’m letting myself feel what I feel. I was crushed to see her laying there…then I was trying to contact people who theoretically researched time travel to see what it would take to go back and fix it all…then I was celebrating her…then I was ready to shout obscenities at the DMV today, as I watched people being issued license renewals who couldn’t even pass the sight test.
    I’m just going through it…and I’m escaping to the movies when I need a break (my poor father-in-law is still unconscious and facing possible amputation in the ICU from the same accident) just to recharge.
    I don’t have much hope in life right now. My little two-year old boy gives me joy, but I wake up wondering what I can possibly teach him about the universe being a flow of good, when I just don’t feel that at all right now.
    My feeble hope is that my dark cloud is just a temporary one as I go through the process of grieving. It’s just tough because I feel like all the things I worked to train myself about re: LOA have just fallen away, and I’m left with the same pain and fear of the universe I’ve had since childhood.
    As bad as that *sounds*, we’re hanging in there. We do get bright spots here and there, and flower petals seem to show up on the floor…and somehow we pick them up and know it’s her smiling at us from somewhere.
    It’s a roller-coaster, to be sure…thanks to all of you for your input and support.

  • Debbie Lattuga says:

    I am so so sorry for your loss. I can’t even begin it imagine what you must be going through. I saw a video from Abraham that talks about death. I tried to find it just now but couldn’t.
    I truly believe we are all connected with invisible heartstrings and nothing, not even death, can break them. You are still connected to your child and your child can hear you. It’s just a little tougher for you to hear her.
    Here is a quoted passage from Abraham about the suicide of this man’s brother-in-law and his desire to help the people around him.
    “Q: I was listening to a tape and you made a statement that there is no suicide….
    Abe: Well, actually what we said is [all deaths are]….
    Q: That’s right, [all deaths are] suicide. That’s right, that’s right.
    Abe: All death is that because everything is self-created.
    Q: Okay. Well, I had a question… I recently got married and my brother-in-law, he passed away at 39 years old very unexpectedly and two days after Thanksgiving. And it was just a shock to everybody. That day he was going to a concert with his girlfriend, they were going out to dinner. (Very choked up.) He was very happy, talked to everybody. And then he was gone.
    Abe: Well, not really.
    Q: Well, yeah. So, you know, I’m part of the family but I’m new to the family, so it’s been hard for me to watch everybody else in the family, [and] my wife, deal with it. And I was just wondering, like, I really believe that he is in a better place, you know, he chose that, and that he’s up there. And actually when I was out running one morning I had a conversation with him (choked up again) and he told me to tell them a few things, and I felt a little resistant at first, but I did tell the parents what he had said, you know, “Don’t worry, everything’s okay.” And it was really some things that he would have said, so I know I was connected to it. And I guess my question is, is there anything I can do to help them with this?
    Abe: There are so many things that we’re wanting to give you around this subject. We’re going to go right to the heart of it because we think you’re ready for it, and that is: you still believe that death is a bad thing. It feels like something that shouldn’t have happened and something that if there had been any way that we could have prevented it we would have, and something that has gone wrong. And part of the reason that powerful teachers that are in conscious concert with others like you, who are other powerful teachers — in other words, the reason that someone this young and this vital does something like that is to assist all of you in understanding that there *is not death*.
    There are a number of things — it’s hard for you to hear, but we’re going to really go after this because we think if anyone will hear it you will. We can feel the intensity of your desire and yet you’re not in a place of such closeness to it that you can’t hear what we’re saying.
    …physical beings have treated the subject of death as something not wanted and something inappropriate for so long, and yet you have yourselves in an impossible [position] — this is something every single one of you are going to experience. How do you stand pushing so hard against something that is so inevitable? Do you feel the absurdity of that? And the best way that we can… [help you] hear this maybe in a different way is to say to you: in this Universe that has at this basis only Well-Being, how could something as abhorrent as you think death is even exist…? And what it is, all that what you call death is, is your ultimate pinching yourself off from Source. In other words, it’s sort of like every bad dream you’ve ever had, every negative thought you’ve ever had, every reason that you’ve ever used as your excuse to not allow energy to flow in this moment sort of culminates into the great subject that you all call death. That’s how big and bad and ugly and awful this subject is to you.
    And it’s an interesting thing for us to get our thoughts around because it is something that doesn’t even exist and it is the thing that you all use to not allow yourself to live. In other words, the circle of this complex subject is… (brief pause to search for words) very funny. (Laughter.) It is very funny to get a look at it in this way, you see.
    When you understand that you are eternal beings — in other words, you walk into this room, you all come willingly and yet you have not committed your life to being in this room. In a few hours, you’re going to get up and you’re going to walk out of here and everybody’s going to say that’s just fine. And yet when somebody makes their transition, which is no different than that — they just withdraw their attention from one room and give their attention to another room — you all act like it’s the end of the world.
    Jerry and Esther have a new cat that they kidnapped when they were in Louisiana — well, the cat really kidnapped them. It sort of appeared at their motor home and said, “I want to live with you,” and the owner of the park said, “We want you to take this cat,” and ultimately they did. And now this cat — Loveable Cat is her name, they call her L.C. — she lives at the office. And Jerry wanted her to have freedom, and so in the beautiful new office building the carpenters cut a door for L.C. to come in and out. And the building is very thick, and the doors are metal so they could not put the cat door in the door. So they put it in the building and built a chute, and so there’s about this much distance from outside to inside. At first, she did not like the idea of the door. Jerry said it was like trying to put the toothpaste back in the tube. (Laughter.) And then he watched her, her first emergence, and it was a very interesting thing because here she’s standing in the break room, a very beautiful room inside, and then she leaps up onto her shelf that has been build and she pokes herself through the tube and then out into the bright sunlight.
    Well, death is sort of like that. In other words, it’s not a bigger transition than that. It is something that is going from one perspective to another, but there is no sense of having left behind something. Instead, there is the exhilaration about what is on the other side.
    Now the thing that we’re wanting you to understand is that once L.C. goes outside, she is equally free to come back in. So she’s in and out and in and out and in and out and in and out, and that is the way it is from the nonphysical perspective. In other words, the conversation that you had was a very real conversation — nonphysical consciousness is here with you all the time.
    The question is why have those of you who are still remaining in the break room, why have you limited yourself only to that experience? And that really is what these workshops are about. We’re wanting to help you consciously reconnect with that broader self that you know you are. And once you gain that awareness of the wholeness of who you are, then you’re like the cat that’s back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and back and forth, not feeling any big deal about it, having a glorious experience no matter where your consciousness is focused, you see.
    Physical beings feel so earthbound in the fact that you think you only can stay in the break room. In other words, you don’t know you have access to all of that other stuff. And we know that even as we speak about death that you’re really not worried about those that have made the transition. You consciously know that they really are doing very, very well. The problem that you are having and the worry that you feel is for those that feel as if they have been left behind. And that’s the whole point of our conversation — we want you to understand that you are not left behind, but you have to accept the fullness of who you are in order to understand that.

  • elizabeth says:

    I am so very sorry for your loss. I have no great words of wisdom to offer; however, I do believe that there are things that happen in life that we do not and cannot understand now, but that we will understand later (even much later). I heard a phrase once about “the peace that surpasses all understanding”. I wish that for you and your loved ones.
    sending love and blessings to you and your family

  • Every time I read your brilliantly honest, intimate and insightful responses I well up with tears of love. Thank you so much, everyone, for offering your support here!
    It means a tremendous amount to me, let alone those who are asking themselves these tough questions.

  • Gillian says:

    Dear Michael,
    I am really no expert in this matter, but my deepest condolences go out to you and your family. As to the question how you manifested death, I don’t think anyone can really come up with a reasonable explanation, as we neither know/knew you or your daughter, hence nobody can really tell what you or your daughter have been vibrating all this time. We also don’t know what Go’d plan is in all of this. I can only give an example of a friend, who lost her sister to cancer as a child. Her sister passed away at the age of 8 years after losing her battle with cancer and of course the family was devastated. But as the mother is a devout katholic, she had come to the acceptance that God had “placed” the child in her care only for 8 years during this lifetime. The state of surrender of the mother has given hope and strength back to the family again in coping with the loss and moving on with their lives. I do not know wether you have other children, but I think you need to be strong for them now. I really am no expert in this at all, but wish you lots of strenth, courage, acceptance and peace with the circumstance, so you all can move ahead, and continue to maintain a strong family unity and bond.
    Much love, Gillian

  • Death? Really there is no such thing… but for us who are physically focused it indeed feels very, very real.
    We feel that void – we want to see that person, kiss them, hold their hand, and hear their voice with our physical ears.
    No person can totally understand what another is going through – So I will not tell you understand your pain. I can say I have been in a similar situation…. And I know how gut wrenching this all felt.
    I remember telling a friend – I felt like I was alone, naked, cold – wandering around on a dark roadway with no idea where I was… Wanting so badly to go home but not knowing how or if I would ever get there.
    I had never cried so hard in my entire life. I didn’t know it was possible to cry this hard. It came from the tips of toenails and my entire body was crying.
    I was in a relationship for 18 years – A glorious, wondrous relationship – with the love of my life. The relationship had not gotten old – it was new and exciting everyday. I had never loved or been loved in this way before.
    1 week after my 47th birthday – Gale lay down and didn’t physically get up again. My life as I knew it changed in an instant.
    I do not believe “I manifested” this – While we are all powerful – we never manifest for another. Was this a co-creation? – Today I can see that it indeed was.
    Did we have a “contract” and “agreement” together? I do believe this – but not in the manner of – “we will be happily together for 18 years and then Gale will transition” I believe our “contracts” are not that specific. If they were – then we would be living fate – instead of living a life where we get to create our lives daily – moment by moment.
    Today I see our “contract” more on the lines of – We will enhance each other’s life to the fullest – Our being together will have the capacity to bring out the very, very best of each other.
    As devastated as I was – that evening that Gale transitioned – I was in my kitchen looking in the mirror that hung over the kitchen sink. I was not looking at my red swollen face – I was looking much further in – And here is what I said “In this pile of crap… there is a diamond – and I am going to find it”
    People have told me how brave that was – I promise you I was not being brave… I know today, that was my inner being talking.
    Many years before this – I had been on that depression / anger merry-go-round – I knew I could not let myself go back there. I knew I could not be a victim in this situation. Ohhhh Yes – there were many time I wanted to be the victim and many, many times my friends would have let me. I would hear someone say “Oh you poor thing” and part of me wanted to collapse in their arms… “Yes poor me – please somebody fix this!”
    Luckily for me (though I do not believe in luck) I had been on the personal development path for many years. I had learned how to take responsibility for my life. While I know I was not “responsible for Gale’s passing over – I absolutely was responsible of how I was going to deal with it!
    About 5 weeks before Gale passed over, I was introduced to Abraham – coincidence?? 😉
    I grabbed onto Abraham with both my hands and feet. They were my life line – they were the line that I needed to not fall into victim hood. I listened to tapes everyday – some days 3 x a day.
    I continuously told myself – “The most important thing is that I Feel Good” – I understood, as Jeanette has pointed out – if I was angry that was feeling good compared to hopeless…
    I got real, real kind to myself. No matter how I was that day – I knew what my intention was for the day … and I knew I was doing the best I could – and it was all OK – even those days when it didn’t feel OK.
    11 months after Gale transitioned I sat in the “hot seat” with Abraham and spoke about what happened. They called it an “opportunity” – An Opportunity? If anyone else had said that to me – well I’m not sure how I would have responded! But when they said it the hair on my neck and arms stood up …. and my soul resonated with what they were saying!
    I have heard Abraham describe what we call death like this – You go to the movies with your partner, step daughter – you are both watching the same movie – then your partner, step daughter — says “I’m going over to the other movie theater – I’ll see you later” – You say OK…..
    That is what happens – Gale went to see a different movie…… She is loving this movie – she tells me so. I stayed at my movie theater – at least for now – and while at first my movie got a little scary – I, too, am absolutely loving this movie.
    But she said – she will see you later… Well in the non-physical there are no time constraints and she can and does see me now.
    The more I tried to figure this out – the more pain I was in. When I relaxed – easier said then done on some days, I was able to tap into Gale. Allow her to come through. I have been in contact with her right from the start – I have been able to communicate with her… and still do to this day.
    I hear people say things like – “you will never get over it” – I did not listen to those people. I absolutely wanted the pain to stop … and I can tell you Abraham was right the pain stopped and my life did indeed change dramatically! Dramatically Good! This was indeed an Opportunity.
    I could continue to write about this – but I have already taken lots of space! Michael you are Magnificent, Blessed Being. You are loved deeply – your step daughter is right there with you.
    When you are thinking of her – realize she is with you – acknowledge her – she will talk to you.
    If you want to talk – I am more than happy to talk with you. Best way to reach me is the contact form at my website – http://livingthelawofattraction.com/contact-us/
    Send me your phone number – or I will send you mine.
    Know that your step daughter is OK – and You and your family is OK even when you don’t feel OK.
    Biggest Hugs,

  • Lorna Goodman says:

    Dear Michael,
    I once read an article by the astrologer Robert Otto (think that’s his name (associated with healer Caroline Myss) say that the law of attraction works only up to a point. You cannot interfere with your soul’s life plan, to paraphrase. Our souls have a different goal than our ego. And if you believe in a God, then it makes sense that your soul is in league with God, who does not spare us from pain in this life, but will strengthen us to bear it. In other words, this could be God’s business, and your daughter’s soul plan (her business) and you would have had nothing to do with manifesting this outcome. May you find the love and peace inside to carry you through this most difficult of times. Love, Lorna

  • Leslie Richter says:

    Dear Michael,
    I was thinking about how our children teach us grace. We have our expectatons and hopes for our children and they shine their light however they chose. Kahil Gibran says our children are the arrow and we are the archer.
    We as archers really don’t know where our arrows will land – it’s not our job. We aim with all the love and light we can and the arrow takes over from there. The direction your arrow took was not what you expected but that was her right. No matter what the direction this act takes though, the love, the contract and the bond remain. Death doesn’t change that. Love is love no matter what the realm.
    Maybe we chose to protect ourselves and to “forget” the details of our contract so that we can love whole-heartedly and wildly without worrying about time. Maybe in our wisdom we know that time does not factor in with spirit.
    Your little one will continue to teach you love and grace because that is her job. And you will always be a bigger person because you manifested this love.
    From one archer to another
    my deepest love

  • MissyB says:

    I came within inches of my own life ending in November. Why I was spared and your beautiful stepdaughter wasn’t I have no understanding, but as complacencey returns to my life, this is a stark reminder of how fragile we are. I am grateful again to be alive.
    I do believe we co-create in this world. We are also surrounded by people co-creating their worlds too. Their creations (perhaps pre-decided) have an impact on us at times. It’s these darkest hours though that see our true strength despite wishing with all our every being that we didn’t have to learn via such an awful lesson. I’m sorry I have no answers. I think sometimes life just “is”.
    With love, Anne x

  • As with everyone, I send you Love and Light to shine through your darkness at this time.
    I agree with everything Janette said about having made agreements with the important souls in our lives before we’ve come here. And though it is so hard to see in the moment, I’ve learned that “horrendous’ things are never what they seem and that they always serve a higher purpose for the greatest good. Holding that ‘truth’ in your heart, even if it’s a leap of faith, can sometimes give you a moment of tiny reprieve.
    Stuart above mentioned Neale Donald Walsh’s Conversation with God series. In his wonderful children’s parable, the Little Soul and the Sun, Neale presents these “agreements we make” in a clear, loving, and touching way that has been quite enlightening AND comforting for me.
    When the time is right, I highly recommend giving it a read, and seeking the answer to “why” in your heart- in terms of what agreements may have been made for the greatest good of all concerned. Here is a link to the parable online:
    If it were me, to help me find peace, I don’t think I could keep from seeking out a talented intuitive who could share with me the purpose for my little one’s unconventional path. Sometimes that information can take the sting of bitterness away from the grief.
    From these seeds of sorrow, blossoms will surely come, in time.
    Allowing our hearts to crack wide open, even while breaking, ultimately reveals a deeper, true-er love within- that we will then have to offer more fully to the world.
    Until then, allow the Love of all of those around you, to surround you. And may the Light from your Little Loved One shine a warm blanket upon you, from across all space and time.

  • Janette says:

    Michael, I have no wisdom or answers to add to the many voices of love on this blogsite; only my compassion and prayers. I am so sorry for your loss.

  • Stuart says:

    I’m very sorry for your loss.
    I’ve found the Conversations with God series wonderful in difficult times.
    With what you are dealing with now, I strongly recommend “Home with God In a life that Never Ends” another Conversation with God book by the same author.
    I think things will make a lot more sense after reading it.
    May you find peace.

  • Dana - Your Inspired Coach says:

    I don’t know you well as I only met you on the PC forum, but know that your family is in my prayers during this heart-wrenching time.
    As I read every beautiful response above, I kept thinking that I have nothing to add to this discussion. I felt as if this is just too painful a subject to even touch, but two things kept coming to mind over and over.
    First, I was hit by a car at just under four years old and nearly killed. My parents were both watching, helplessly. My father pulled the car off of me, as it had me pinned down, and he put me on the hood of the car and cursed, yelled, swore and feverishly performed CPR on me, pressing my chest and blowing into my mouth, begging me to, “Breathe, damn it, breathe!” I had no vitals at all. Meanwhile, my mother was wailing and sobbing uncontrollably and my dad was yelling to call for help, but she was in shock.
    I am describing this because they told me? No. I was there. Even though I was technically “dead” with no pulse and no heartbeat and my eyes were fixed and dilated, I saw all of this and remember it in vivid detail and with absolutely no pain. I was there with my parents, looking down on them outside of my body and I was not alone. I had angels. They were bright and they were warm, and for me at least, they told me it wasn’t time yet and that I must go back. Honestly, I had to be repeatedly told to go back. I didn’t see what the problem was with how it had turned out. I was at peace, but the angels sent me back to my parents’ loving arms, and when I woke up in my body I suddenly felt the pain and cried and asked my dad if I could get up. By that time there were EMTs and screeching tires and sirens and lights and I was whisked off in a speeding ambulance without my parents, with nobody asking me about the adventure I’d just been on. It took me years to digest it and fully understand it. I always knew something extraordinary had happened to me. There are some that would have a scientific explanation for it, but I know that I was peaceful, in no pain and with angels. That experience has forever changed my life and how I look at death and life in this body.
    Second, my father’s father died when my dad was 11 and my grandfather was 37. He was my dad’s hero. He taught my dad everything and made him the man he is. Fortunately, he was there for the formative years. It was very traumatic for my father to lose his father so young. It was not his father’s death, in my estimation, that caused my dad to raise me in his father’s deep presence, but his father’s life and how his passing deepened my dad’s appreciation for my grandfather’s life and all of the lessons he learned from my grandfather that made me know him better than if he’d been her in person.
    I never knew my dad’s dad, obviously, but I feel as if I am have been blessed with one of the best grandfathers of all because my dad told me stories every day about his dad and even as a child I knew how close and how proud he was of his father, his hero. My dad used every experience as a teachable moment and drew upon what his father taught him and the values that he inherited from the special bond and time he shared with his own dad. My dad was only 19 when I was born, but he was ready to be a dad and I know it’s because he felt he could continue that bond and use the gifts his father had given him. I also think that my dad cherished my childhood more deeply because he felt his own mortality and realized we never know if we will see our children grow up. Of course, it’s more typical to worry that we won’t be around for them.
    I believe I have my grandfather’s values and bawdy sense of humor and his warm heart and drive to help others. I got that from my dad who soaked up every ounce of his father in 11 and a half years and then passed it on with love to his two daughters. And even with the next generation, I can see my dad embracing grandfatherhood so fully and deliberately as if he is saying, “Look Dad, I get to hold and play with my granddaughter and teach her things myself!” Deeper than that, I think my dad is living grandfatherhood in a way that he knows his father can experience it vicariously through him.
    It truly is remarkable the way that someone’s life can continue to influence and touch generations when we realize how they touched us during their time here and how we can keep their memory and spirit alive.
    I don’t know if either of those stories bring you comfort, and I agree that this is the time to feel your feelings fully and allow the rushes of emotion to come however they want to. I just thought I would share my own encounter with being “on the other side” even if just by a step, and my encounter with experiencing the presence of another human being so fully when I have never felt his physical presence.
    Please do not blame yourself. Mourn your daughter and remember everything beautiful that she brought to the world in her physical state.
    I can’t imagine the pain you must be experiencing. You know we all wish we could wave a magic wand for you.
    Much love and comfort to you!

  • Judy says:

    Hi Michael,
    Like all the others here, I write from a place of love.
    I’m w/ Jeannette and others who suggest that this is a time of “being”, not of thinking.
    At my best, in moments of loss, I’ve asked myself (when thinking of the person who has died)
    “in this moment, how do I honor the gifts you brought me?”
    It’s been a way for me to bring their love w/ me, into my present day experiences. This question has given me something to hold on to, guide me, when I didn’t know what to do. Different answers reveal them self as I am ready.
    w/ much love,

  • Addendum:
    When I say you did not manifest it, I mean in your conscious thoughts of course you didn’t.
    But who knows what agreements you made with your soul before you were born? And what agreements Nay had made with herself? And what agreements you both had made with each other?
    In that sense, yes you both could have agreed this would happen and known that through this pain, something wonderful would come about even though in human form it would not make sense and fill you with pain. I agree with Jeannette, that your souls have been true to each other. Inner wisdom knows what we don’t.

  • Kim Falconer says:

    My heart goes out to you and to your family. I am flooding you with light and love. All of you–in the bodies or out of the bodies, all of you whom you love and have ever loved and ever will love.
    We are spiritual beings here, residing in physicality. Things change fast, when we ‘go’. Trying to understand it is like trying to understand chickens and eggs. My father died because he was sick, old. My brother died because he was sick, young. My son’s child died because . . . she did. We don’t know. We grieved as deeply with each one.
    Sometimes why, or even how, have no meaning. Sometimes it is only about being–in physical, out of physical. Allowing grief. Allowing everything you are feeling. Allowing love–it’s the love that gets through. It’s the love that shows us there are no boundaries, no separations.
    Loving in life and in death. I’m sending my whole heart to you.
    Love, Kim

  • Michael, i’ve already messaged you on facebook and I’ll say it again – you are loved, blessed and supported beyond imagination especially now.
    I don’t know your pain but I want you to know – sometimes things don’t make sense. Sometimes life seems very cruel and completely unfair.
    Stuff happens that makes us question the very nature of LOA and manifesting. I do NOT think you manifested this.
    Please don’t think that way okay? From what I know, when we experience such pain, loss and sadness, there is a higher power and purpose at play. Sometimes it takes a tragedy to wake us up to what we have forgotten.
    I believe that all of us came to to Earth with a specific purpose in mind and how long we would stay. I believe that we choose to leave when we are ready to.
    I believe that the way we leave this Earth is also a part of that plan. I believe that we do this so that we fulfill what we came here to teach, learn and contribute to the world.
    Maybe Nay was here to show you the power of love, to open up your heart, to show you just how precious life is so live your dream everyday and follow your passion, to teach you about non-duality, to fill your life with joy knowing that no matter what physical form one takes, love is all around us, it’s omnipresent and never-ending.
    I don’t know what it is and you don’t have to know it right now either but one day things will get better, you will understand her role in your life and how it was a part of the divine plan and timing.
    This could be the start of a whole new beginning for you Michael, one that makes you look at life differently and never take anything for granted (not saying that you did earlier btw). You will know the answer if you let it come to you.
    Ask Nay and your angels for help during this time. Be open and receptive to what they tell you and let them guide you to your life’s purpose.
    Cherish and treasure your beautiful little angel, who is your angel forever and by your side at all times. She loves you and wants you to know that the pain will subside, your wounds will heal and one day, one day you will think of her and thank her for what she gave you. One day you may understand why it happened the way it did and be at peace. Till then, love yourself, love her, love your family and focus on the power in that.
    I wish you peace, love, understanding and fortitude. Take heart Michael.

  • The Inner Genius Coach says:

    Precious Michael, as I set aside this time to write you this post and I call upon the Wisdom of God to flow through my fingers just for you, I hold you in a place of absolute Love, acceptance and preciousness.
    I cannot imagine your pain.
    I honor your pain. If you did not hurt then what would that say about your being a father of a nine year old?
    In my Yoruba culture, parents are not allowed to even participate in the funeral arrangements or attendance of their child as they do not even bother to acknowledge as parents that their child has died. It is that much of a taboo.
    However, I am eerily comforted. Yesterday, I had lunch with a lady I have come to know pretty well. I knew she had three children but she told me about the other two she had lost. One was stillborn and the other lived to ten months and died.
    The vibe I picked up from her as I spoke to her was so matter of fact. I asked her how did she come to terms with it. She said, she knew that there was a higher purpose. She got pregnant again during the illness of her 10 month old and that the second child has a very different personality and she (the mother) also grew so much spiritually in those 10 months that she felt it happened for a reason and she sees the absolute love and grace in it.
    Now, she sees that. Of course at the time, she could not.
    Now, I am sure I had the lunch with her yesterday just so I could share her story with you today.
    Please do not push yourself. I agree with Jeanette, please feel whatever you feel and express it. Tell us about it if it will make you feel better.
    I personally lost my parents a couple of years back and although that does NOT compare to losing a child, it hurt like hell.
    Now, the truth of the matter, is that when I think of them, I smile and communicate with them. I experience them in a pure state. I feel my father’s vibrant energy all the time and I feel my mothers amazing intelligence surround me.
    More so now, I feel their love. It is something I just tap into and call up.
    Your daughter came through you for a reason. You loved her. In my opinion, it is better that she came, you loved and she left than for her to have not come at all and for you to not have experienced that love at all.
    As the intensity of the loss subsides, it will be a wonderful time to question your beliefs about death. Is she really gone or like water that becomes ice or steam, did she just change how you perceive her.
    Did you manifest this?
    Let me tread ever so lightly on your toes. I say yes and no.
    I believe in the absolute sovereignty of Source. Source has no time space limitations so Source sees the end from before the beginning so there is a larger picture somewhere out there that this fits in perfectly. However, I know you do not want to hear that.
    However, that is where the sovereignty that I believe is of Source comes in.
    When you asked the question, “Did I manifest this?” What came to my mind is how much we worry about our children and their safely all the time.
    I do not think any human being is capable of being a parent if they do not have concerns about the safety of their children. Yet, we know that if we vibe worry about safety of our children, we vibe fear and not security of our children.
    With all that I have said, I think this is the most important: The problem here is only one thing:
    Michael, when you ask yourself this soon why or how did I manifest death, you are looking to blame yourself.
    The question is about blame.
    I am here to honor your loss and love you as lovingly as possible but I will not allow you to blame yourself.
    You are not at fault for this manifestation of grief in your life.
    You may have agreed to it prior to. It may have been Source’s brilliant idea. It may have been because of worrying about her safety.
    Whichever one it is or combination thereof, I ask you and hold a mirror up to your face, “Please do not blame yourself.”
    Accept your grief, sob, cry, yell, curse. You are right, it is not fair.
    But do not blame yourself and try and figure out what little role you may or may not have played in it.
    Now I understand why my friend yesterday was so accepting of it. She laid no blame whatsoever on herself for the death of her 10 month old.
    Not laying any blame on you, whether you made that contract before you came to planet earth or whether you manifested it will help you see the miracles and wonder that will unfold in your life as a result of it.
    O boy, I wish I could be where you are. I would hold you in my arms as if you were a child yourself. I would stroke your head and keep my hand on your head in the manner of blessing you and I would let you wail and cry and let it out.
    It is a loss worth honoring with your full emotions.
    I surround you with peace, grace, comfort, love and angels.
    In your service,
    Iyabo Asani

  • Belinda says:

    The answer is simple.
    [This is Jeannette: I’ve never deleted a comment on this blog in my entire life, but for this post, I’m being extremely protective of what goes up here, and am thus deleting this portion of your comment, Belinda. I’ll leave the signoff because that feels like it’s based in love and compassion. If you want to repost your thoughts on some other post on this blog, please do – I promise not to edit or delete. Thanks, Belinda.]

  • MSNikki says:

    Michael~Just wanted you to know that you and your family are in the thoughts and prayers of everyone here.
    Jeanette~ What an awesome response and it is so wonderful that you opened up this difficult question to us so we can assist Michael in any way we can.
    This has got to be the toughest LOA question. Ever.It is something that I have asked myself throughout the years.To question one’s vibes and thoughts during and after something like this could possibly set one up for confusion, blame and anger. At least that has been my personal experience. Several energy therapists and healers that I know would concur with Jeanette, ie each individual soul is accorded circumstances and events before birth. Yet, there is still pain and confusion with this explanation. Why? Why would someone leave at such a young age? Their response would be for the growth of everyone involved. It is painful but a necessary part of the ebb and flow of life from that perspective. So, no, vibes and thoughts had no consequence in the event. None whatsoever. I am also in agreement that although your daughter is not physically present that she is spiritually present. She definitely pointed you in the direction of this forum.

  • Debra says:

    My heart goes out to you and your family, Michael.
    This *is* a tough one. The toughest any of us can face in my humble opinion.
    I have more than enough experience with death. My Daddy died when I was 10. He was just 32. As incomprehensible as that was in the “how the heck can I make sense of this?!” sense…even at 10 there was a part of me that knew deep down that my Daddy leaving me had nothing to do with the part of my life that sucked without him…and everything to do with the part of my life that would be magnificently supported with him.
    I couldn’t wrestle (tickle time) with him on the floor any more…we couldn’t walk hand in hand any more. I couldn’t run to him for the hugs I loved so much when my feelings were hurt any more.
    And…I quickly realized that he was with me more fully in the non-physical than he could have ever hoped to be in the physical. He truly was (and still is, along with others) the wind beneath my wings through my growing up years.
    I don’t expect this to bring comfort right now; as Jeannette so lovingly put it…this doesn’t need to be a ‘feel better’ time.
    I share it because my heart feels what your heart is feeling.
    My dearest sister and closest friend lost her baby before he was ready to enter the world. He died before she could feel his warmth at her breast…but lived long enough to grow in her womb. I was there with her when she was induced to birth her son who would never take his first breath.
    The question you pose still rings through our hearts and minds from time to time. How did we manifest this? What did we think, say, do…to bring this into our experience?
    I know that for my sister and I the only thing that brings us comfort is the knowing that we are not the physical. We are the non-physical in human form…just as Abraham teaches.
    It’s only mildly comforting for me to recognize that there were certain things we agreed to before coming into human form. Because, now that we’re here…it’s not quite as easy to imagine ‘why on earth’ we’d have made that choice.
    It is comforting somehow to know and recognize the non-physical that we are. In that space we are not what we see, touch, feel and experience here day to day.
    In that space we are always connected. The pulse of our vibration is as alive now as in any and every moment.
    I agree with Jeannette. “I suspect it’s also likely she’s best serving her role here from the other side. That her impact, her role, her work here is strong enough that her physical presence is no longer required.”
    When the time is right… When the human ache of missing her meets the space of seeing her for the first time… That’s when you’ll start to feel better.
    I don’t necessarily mean ‘seeing her’ in the sense of her appearing before you, although I’ve experienced that blessing many times. I really mean ‘seeing her’ essence. Seeing the Divine Spark of her eternal presence. Feeling her sweetness.
    Now in this moment…just allow. Allow it all. The hurt, anger, frustration, deep, deep sadness, grief, pain…all of it. This is no time to stop allowing. Allow even the glimpses of joy that bubble up. They will. Don’t dismiss them. They are windows of truth and glimpses of brighter tomorrows. Allow it all.
    Allow the questions to bubble up. The biggest one being, WHY??? And know that the answers will come in a million gentle ways…none of them feeling at all justified or satisfactory right now…maybe never…maybe some day.
    If there’s one thing I know for sure… It’s that your daughter is free, happy and feeling good. On the other side (which is right beside you!) she’s whispering in your ears saying, “It’s OK, I’m OK…feel good, feel happy.”
    …and she knows that in time you will. In her world (in our non-physical world) there is no time/space reality. She’ll wait forever, which is equivalent to no time at all. She trusts that you are well…that all is well.
    And in the meantime…she’s holding you softly, tenderly…loving you more intensely, more purely than we can comprehend in human form.
    We are love. We come from love. We return to love and are born again.
    May love meet you where you are and hold you ever so tenderly.
    I send you love, Michael. I send your family love. I mourn the loss you’re feeling oh so intensely right now and I celebrate the pulse of life and love that will guide your way on…
    In Harmony… Debra

  • Mark Silver says:

    First of all, deep condolences to you- my heart is with you. Having 6-month old twin boys myself, I can’t even contemplate what would happen in my own heart if I were to face their death at a young age. I cry and will make prayers for her and you and the family.
    Even high spiritual masters grieve when death comes, because this is part of being human.
    I’d like to offer a different perspective, with respect. Manifestation is a very tricky subject, and this is one of the reasons it gets so tangled, because of a mistaken understanding of where manifestation comes from.
    Many people believe that manifestation comes, in part or completely, from the self. That one’s thoughts, beliefs, or force of will has a hand in what happens. Although there is some truth in this, in that one can envision something and work towards its arrival, in an ultimate way this is a misunderstanding.
    For folks of spiritual understanding, Source is the source- the Divine, Oneness, Unity, God, Allah, HaShem- however you want to speak it. That initial Presence that is outside time and space, and comprises and takes part in time and space.
    As human beings, our state is incomplete in perspective. We are whole and complete in an ultimate sense in that we are manifestations of Source, but because of our humanity, we cannot fully access the perspective of Source. As one sacred text writes, when Source unveils itself completely the physical world disappears: “The mountains turned to water.”
    As human beings we do have access to Source in our hearts, and so our nature does have a way of being a locus of manifestation, as the great master Ibn’ al-Arabi puts it.
    But, how do we access that manifestation power, as another sacred text puts it: “When your word is the Word.”
    We access it, imperfectly and without control, in the same way that countless spiritual students throughout the ages have attempted to access it- through complete surrender and cleaning of the ego. The less that our needs and desires are here, the more the Divine nature of things flows through more visibly. It never stops, but we become a cleaner vessel for it.
    You can begin to see where the difficulty lies- if you are in your humanity, then you don’t have access to the manifestation power. If you are in your divinity, then you don’t have access to your earthly desires.
    So, in all cases, *you* didn’t manifest or create death- that’s the way Source flowed. As painful as it is, as heart-breaking as it is- my mother-in-law was on her deathbed in our home just a few weeks ago, ugh- life and death are part of the Divine flow in time and space.
    I hope this helps to ease your heart, and to let go of worries that you are manifesting yours or others deaths or ill or good fortunes.
    We have power in this world as humans, but it is a rather ordinary, humble, beautiful power of dreaming and then working towards what we hope will be of benefit. The Divine is the Source and the return of all of it.
    peace to your heart

  • Adrienne says:

    Michael, I am so sorry to hear about your devastating loss, and my deepest condolences to you and your family.
    I don’t know the answer, and I’ve thought about this question in conjunction with other deaths, as I am the daughter of a Holocaust survivor.
    I don’t think you can manifest death for someone else, first of all.
    Second of all, to the extent that you manifested anything, I would say you manifested nine years of joy, even though nine years is way-too-short by our earthly clocks.
    Third of all, is it possible that, your daughter’s soul had only a “short” mission to fulfill in this earthly physical form? Also, is it possible, she is in a very good, very happy place now, and waiting for her next “mission” with eagerness?
    Finally, for whatever comfort this thought might provide (as I understand that losing an offspring is very different from losing other relations), I do believe that your daughter will always be around you in this lifetime and that you will share lives again in the future (I have read about and believe that we travel in “soul groups”… akin to what’s written in The Celestine Prophecy series of books). I didn’t REALLY believe in all this until I lost my beloved father. He has communicated with me two times since (no joke; two times two different, self-contained window A/C units turned on by themselves – guest room one in the winter and master bedroom one in the spring, prior to my starting to use it. I thought it might be his energy but got chills when my Mom reminded me that he was a Mechanical Engineer who specialized in designing, guess what? A/C units! They both turned on right at monumental events in my life. The’ve never turned on since, so it’s not like it’s faulty wiring or wacky power surges .. nor have any of the other gazillion electrically powered items in my home ever turned on by themselves.) Point of my story is that NOW I truly believe that spirits/energy/souls exist around us – before and after being in their physical bodies. This knowledge that he is around me and watching over me (and communicating with me at big moments 🙂 ) gives me tremendous comfort.
    Hoping that the wonderful memories of your little angel provide some solace during your grieving process.

  • I am so very sorry for your loss.
    I don’t think you manifested this here. I think you agreed to this prior to coming to Earth. Perhaps to teach yourself something about love and loss, or perhaps to prepare you to help others. This event will change you, and there will be good that comes out of it. But, that’s hard to see now, and it’s hard to imagine making the choice to let your stepdaughter go.

  • I’m no expert at this, my friend, but I don’t think this is the time to try to create better vibes. I don’t believe in impossible, but that really feels like the kind of challenge that I wouldn’t be up for, were I in your shoes.
    This is the time to feel whatever it is that comes up. Confused, pissed off, angry as hell, sad as hell … all of that is better than the depression of not feeling at all. (Actually, those feelings maybe ARE better vibes, huh?) Again, I’m no expert, my friend. So don’t listen to me.
    I sure wish I knew how to guide you through this. The truth is I have no clue.
    As for the question “how/why did I create this?” … that one will best be understood on the other side, right? I don’t think you’re responsible for any of that in a way that we could conceive or grasp from our perspective now.
    But here’s my two cents for what it’s worth (two cents IF that):
    I believe we make agreements with each other in advance. We have a general outline of our life plan before we show up. Certain things are gonna happen. They were intended from a higher, broader perspective. BY US, absolutely, but from that all-knowing part of us.
    You had to be incredibly brave to sign up for just nine years with this sweet girl, knowing she would make her exit before you. I absolutely believe all of this was agreed upon and understood well in advance of your physical rendezvous here with each other.
    Why would she pick just 9 years? I’m guessing she had somewhere else she had to be. And it must be a pretty good gig or an important one for her to leave this party here. I suspect it’s also likely she’s best serving her role here from the other side. That her impact, her role, her work here is strong enough that her physical presence is no longer required.
    These are the thoughts that make me feel better when I hear about what happened. I don’t expect them to do anything for you because this is not the time for you to feel better.
    This is the time to grieve.
    And she’ll be with you through all of it.
    You are a brave family, my friend. Not everyone could have done this for her.
    This is a tough one. I wish I were more help, Michael. Continuing to send thoughts of support and love, my friend.

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