December 30, 2009

Q&A: How to Deal with Multiple Difficulties?

One of my favorite new friends of the year sent a question that’s perfect for everyone here.  Not just because you’re brilliant with your supportive responses, but also because there are other readers who will relate.  Here goes:

Jeannette, here’s a general LOA question I’ve been struggling with over the last few weeks! 
My minor medical issue is truly minor, but it will involve some outpatient surgery, something that in complete honesty I have very high anxiety about.  This came on the heels of a difficult emotional event with a close family member, plus the unexpected financial need to replace our heating/AC system at a time when things were already tight.
How can I get myself back into a place of positive vibration when I’m

  1. afraid about my upcoming surgery,
  2. worried about money fears, and
  3. hurting about my family member all at the same time? 

I fully realize it’s not the events, but my thoughts about them that drive things.  I’m just having a hard time dealing with the number of difficult issues that have cropped up at once, and can feel that I’m in a place of low vibration.
Many thanks Jeannette!!

Yep, I’ve got comments, as I’m sure you all do as well.  See you in the comments section with some helpful suggestions and insights for our fellow creator!

  • I was thinking the same thing that person who asked this question shared with me via email this morning:
    “THANK YOU! In total awe – I am completely blown away by these responses…. Talk about finding a better feeling place!! As I dig, I’ll be looking for that pony!”
    I second that. You guys rock!

  • Noelle says:

    Ooh ooh, pick me to answer this one, lol! So, I didn’t read anyone else’s answer cause I just had to get my own out while it was “inspired”, lol, so forgive me if I am redundant here:).
    Oh boy I’ve had much much experience with “multiple difficulties”…..sorta hate to say it but I seem to have lived in them for longer than I care to speak of(just for the record i think I may have or be choosing it so that I KNOW from what I teach…;)!
    So….none of these things you talk about are “death sentences” and even if they were I’d probably say the same thing anyway, but now is the time to metaphorically “STEP BACK” into the BIGGER picture in your mind of your whole life.
    What is needed is a broader, softer perspective so you can see the “big picture” cause it sounds like you are focusing so much on these details especially cause they are “all at once” that you aren’t looking at what IS working in your life, and these current “things” are weighing much heavier than they normally would.
    Then when you have done that and realized(I am guessing here) that mostly you have a pretty good life; enough food to eat, live in a free country, indoor plumbing, clothes, shoes, transportation, mostly good health, have a computer and internet(or you wouldn’t be reading this;), then, deal with each subject(in your mind) by making “small things of them” instead of the opposite, which most of us do, especially when they seem to “hit” all at once!
    Like for instance; you might say,
    well, at least this health thing isn’t anything serious and really, knowing what I do about the LOA at least I “warned” myself early on and now it won’t get bigger and badder and I can deal with whatever resistance brought it on etc….. Like that, see what I mean?
    Play it DOWN, not up…..but I recommend doing this only AFTER you’ve got yourself into a bigger broader and more balanced frame of mind around your life as a whole and how EVERYTHING does always work out fine….or you wouldn’t still be here, I suppose ;)!
    And for the record I hope I don’t sound “insensitive” to yours or anyone elses “suffering”, I KNOW how much things hurt sometimes,but really it doesn’t SERVE us to hurt for any longer than we have to! I KNOW too, that when “big” things hit the quicker I get balanced and “ok” and even hopeful about it, the quicker it actually “remedies” itself! Truly!!!
    Hope this helped a bit :))

  • MissyB says:

    I didn’t have anything to write when I read this last night…then I’ve suffered a small set back with my dog’s epilepsy today and because its about my dog, feel pretty helpless and can’t get my focus off it for love nor money. Yep – felt crap about it, but I’m wallowing in it now so time to get moving…and back here I’ve come for the support of my wonderful LOA friends. You guys never cease to amaze me. You’ve helped me as well as the original “requestee” (if such word exists!)
    Love the pony story – though sometimes perhaps the pony doesn’t show til some time down the line ? Thanks for sharing – I’m off to find the pony.
    Yes ! Thanks for the reminder ! This too shall pass. My favourite saying that I’ve said here before – why didn’t I recall that earlier ?!
    Oh and am I ok for the next 5 minutes – courtesy of Mr Tolle. Yes, yes I am…and so is the dog.
    And finally, my only contribution to this question. I’ve started to make the effort to flip the situation around by afforming – How have we managed to get Brock’s epilepsy back in control so quickly with the minimum of drugs ? That feels better.
    Happy New Year everyone – I’m pleased I’m enterting 2010 with such great folks with great ideas…keep ’em comin’ !

  • Adrienne says:

    As someone who has been using EFT since May this year (still a newbie), I agree with Jenny and Kelly that it is ok (I’d even venture to say “mandatory” to feel the negative feelings first in order to then release them). In fact, EFT does a round of tapping on the “negative” feelings to release them before the round of tapping on the positive.
    I’m pasting an excerpt that describes this exactly from Carol Look, who is known for using EFT with LOA, as she explains it so well….
    “Using EFT and LOA Together:
    So the million dollar question I answer a dozen times a week through emails, and hundreds of times in my Law of Attraction workshops is …But EFT makes you focus on the negative, won’t that make you attract more negativity into your life and make things worse?
    Good question. I have studied, experimented, pondered and come to the conclusion that the answer is a resounding “NO.” After 10 years of doing EFT, I can safely say that my personal and professional experiments have determined that EFT and the Law of Attraction are a perfect match.
    We need to STOP TRYING TO RESIST OUR REAL FEELINGS. EFT allows us to name them, feel them, and release them. Once this step is done, you are in a vibrational position to allow into your life (or magnetize) what you want.
    When we use EFT and target an emotion you have (what I call the truth) you have pinpointed the feeling that is causing your vibration anyway… you are already feeling that way, so why not call it what it is? EFT is effective in direct proportion to the “truth” you are able to tell and the bullseyes you are able to hit. So instead of saying “I’m upset with her” I recommend you say words that more deeply resonate with the truth: I feel enraged at what she did and it wasn’t fair. This allows you get more of a “hit” and more of a positive result with EFT as you have nailed it on the head. EFT is the fastest tool I have ever come across to identify, address and clear an issue and find immediate relief. The event itself doesn’t change, but your experience, memory, and perception of it and emotions about it change. What more could we ask for?
    And when you feel relief, the Law of Attraction is “listening” and allows into your life (by sending you) more of what you were asking for, whether it is relationships, money, opportunities or clients.”

  • sonia says:

    Robert, that’s really awesome. Thank you. And Michele I’m starting to look for the pony right now 😀
    Namaste and happy new year!

  • Nathaniel says:

    Sounds like somebody needs a nap. Then, go see “It’s Complicated” starring Meryl Streep, who is on fire right now. The movie is very pleasant–it is sure to amuse you into Happy Land.
    Oh, and then immediately rent “The Holiday” also written and directed by Nancy Meyers. That will definately tip you over and pour you into the Vortex!

  • Sue says:

    A friend of mine who has somewhat exhausted herself with “trying” to get the better feeling came across this pure and simple expression today……….
    “I am open to the Universe Blessing Me”
    How sweet and easy! Namaste

  • Wow, great story Robert!! Love it! 🙂

  • Since Michele’s Pony story was such a big hit, I would like to tell a story that creates a dramatic visual image of what it means to “get to the other side” of a problem rather than fighting it or running from it.
    Back over a hundred years ago, (or so the story goes) the American West was covered with short dry grass. Lightning would sometimes start this prairie grass on fire and the winds would blow the fire along the ground for days and days. A man caught out in the open when a fire was headed toward him would instinctively head AWAY from the fire. And since these fires usually moved at a slow pace, this strategy worked for awhile, but soon exhaustion would set in so the man would look for another plan. He couldn’t out-run the fire, it was too big to go around, and these types of fires were too big for one man to put out. So fighting the fire would surely prove fatal. As this man looked around, he would eventually realize that the only SAFE place was on “the other side” of the fire where the grass had already been burned. So he would run toward the fire, face it head on, jump right through it, to safety.
    When problems arise, rather than try to fight them, go around them, or out-run them; sometimes it’s best to just face them head on and get to the other side of them.

  • Kelly says:

    Jenny, I agree. Reminds me of Lamaze (years ago!) when I was pregnant and they taught us that just giving into the pain and not closing our eyes and fighting it was less painful. I’ve used this many times (ala migraines). No cure, but better than that clenched resistance.
    In a post of mine I talk about how to get outuva a funk and I suggest that some days are just screwed. Trying to fight it and put on a face of good cheer doesn’t help. Warm pjs and straight to bed almost always help our perspective.
    As to the original post, Jeanette would say (ala Abraham) move towards what feels good and away from what feels bad. Even if that is a tiny, tiny thing…like pjs. Keep doing it and voila! Things have shifted.
    I cannot wait to get more of these opps once GVU is up and runnin’.

  • Laura says:

    Two things immediately come to mind on this. First, what I find really helps when I am feeling those knots on my stomach is to find ANY way to shift that focus. For me, I start by making a list of appreciation. I did this once with a guy I was dating where I was feeling very insecure about (for no reason other than my intuition told me something wasn’t right…just didn’t know it at the time). Instead of dwelling on thoughts like why didnt he call, did I sound too interested (and other ridiculous thoughts), I took out a pad and wrote 5 things that I appreciate about him. It immediately made me feel better and shifted the vibe to why I was in this situation to begin with…I liked him!
    The other thing that came to mind is how Eckhart Tolle shows us how to deal with fear. Break it down to the present moment. Do I have anything to fear in THIS moment? Five minutes from now? 30 minutes from now? If you keep coming back to being present you find that you really have nothing to fear. Something ths shifting of one focus can change your outlook on the whole picture. The fact that she clearly states that her surgery is minor, she can visual exactly how she would like it to proceed. See the day, imagine it going perfectly and how wonderful she is going to feel once it is over. How proud that she overcame her fear. Practicing relaxation techniques (such as slow, yogic breathing) as she prepares for the surgery will help ease the anxiety.
    Try just trusting that the money situation will work itself out (I have used this MANY times this past year). By taking the charge off the money worry, things have a way of effortlessly working out. Just KNOW that it will.
    It is really all about releasing resistance to what it. Accept what is, know that it is a temporary situation and it will all be resolved….and ask for that outcome! Good luck with all of it!

  • Abby says:

    Hi! I’m a longtime reader of Jeanette’s blog & ezine but new to these boards. I just want to say, your comments are all amazing! Seriously. That pony story will stick w/ me for life!
    I am by no means an expert on these matters & in fact, I tend to be a skeptic, pessimist, insert negative word here.
    BUT… in reading this post and some others here, I realized I must be doing something right. I have very few regrets in life, even though I’ve experienced plenty of not-fun situations. Even though I never realized it, I guess my mantra has always been, “I’ll get through this. I always have.” A variation of “This too shall pass,” I suppose!
    As Jeanette pointed out, you can almost always trace things back to a “bad” situation. So maybe the good part about the surgery may be making a new friend in the hospital. Or the HVAC replacement could vastly improve the resale value of your house. You never know!

  • Jenny says:

    I’ve got a slightly different slant than the others so far on this one. The idea that comes to my mind is to first allow yourself to feel all of those feelings of fear, worry, and discomfort.
    I find that the resistance to the negative emotions makes the negativity and discomfort even worse. Allowing myself to fully feel the things I think I don’t want to feel actually releases them.
    In my own experience, when I allow those things to fully go through me, everything on the other side is lighter, easier, and rosier. I used to fear that if I dove into feeling the feelings that they would get worse and never go away. Since I’ve brought this practice into my life, that fear has never come true.
    Give those emotions an afternoon and see what happens. What have you got to lose, since you’re sort of feeling them already anyway! Forcing myself into feeling good before I’m really ready usually makes me feel worse.
    Best wishes for a speedy recovery from your surgery, swift abundance rolling into your life, and amazing relationships!

  • OK, I worked in The White House for President Ronald Reagan. If you still like me, keep reading. 🙂
    President Reagan used to tell a joke that came to mind when I read your post, Jeannette. Let me paste in the recollection of my colleague, speechwriter Peter Robinson:
    An excerpt from “How Ronald Reagan Changed My Life” by Peter Robinson
    Chapter One
    The Pony In the Dung Heap
    When Life Buries You, Dig
    Journal Entry, June 2002:
    Over lunch today I asked Ed Meese about one of Reagan’s favorite jokes. “The pony joke?” Meese replied. “Sure I remember it. If I heard him tell it once, I heard him tell it a thousand times.”
    The joke concerns twin boys of five or six. Worried that the boys had developed extreme personalities — one was a total pessimist, the other a total optimist — their parents took them to a psychiatrist.
    First the psychiatrist treated the pessimist. Trying to brighten his outlook, the psychiatrist took him to a room piled to the ceiling with brand-new toys. But instead of yelping with delight, the little boy burst into tears. “What’s the matter?” the psychiatrist asked, baffled. “Don’t you want to play with any of the toys?” “Yes,” the little boy bawled, “but if I did I’d only break them.”
    Next the psychiatrist treated the optimist. Trying to dampen his out look, the psychiatrist took him to a room piled to the ceiling with horse manure. But instead of wrinkling his nose in disgust, the optimist emitted just the yelp of delight the psychiatrist had been hoping to hear from his brother, the pessimist. Then he clambered to the top of the pile, dropped to his knees, and began gleefully digging out scoop after scoop with his bare hands. “What do you think you’re doing?” the psychiatrist asked, just as baffled by the optimist as he had been by the pessimist. “With all this manure,” the little boy replied, beaming, “there must be a pony in here somewhere!”
    “Reagan told the joke so often,” Meese said, chuckling, “that it got to be kind of a joke with the rest of us. Whenever something would go wrong, somebody on the staff would be sure to say, “There must be a pony in here somewhere.'”
    And that’s what I think for your writer, Jeannette. There has got to be a pony in there somewhere for her.
    When I look back at all the awful, horrible, dreadful events that I was sure I’d never survive… I not only survived, but I thrived. And emerged grateful for the awful, horrible, dreadful event.
    Find the pony in the pile of manure, my friend. And ride that pony off into the sunset.

  • Scientists who study activity in the brain say that there is no difference between a memory, and a future event that we vividly imagine. But then, you already knew that, or else you are going to know it, oh heck what’s the difference? LOL

  • What I timely post for this time of year. You see, in my opinion, it’s all about time. This whole idea of past, present, and future is all really very flexible. Stressed about the situation “right now?” No problem, just hop in the time machine that we call “imagination” and get to the other side of today’s problem.
    And if, like me, you have trouble imagining the future, then go WAY into to the future and look back at it as a memory. We can ALL remember things, right? In fact some of MY fondest memories are of a wedding (mine) that hasn’t happened yet.
    –time warp–
    your problem is already solved! Congratulations!!!

  • Jeannette, we were commenting on the same time, and I can see we’ve suggested some of the same methods (of course we have, I’ve learned most of my favourites from you 😉

  • When I realize I’m in a place of low vibration, I start looking for a thought that feels better. I use several methods:
    Sometimes its an affirmation, other times affirmations don’t make me feel any better.
    Sometimes I start thinking about things I’m grateful about, other times this don´t help me either.
    Sometimes I tell myself “Oh no, this is NOT what I want, what I Do want is this ….. “. My experience is, that the more I practice this, the easier it gets (I’m using this method more and more – and enjoying it!).
    One of my favourites for quite a while has been to start telling myself (or others) “wouldn’t it be nice/wonderful/great if……” – this one nearly always works for me, maybe because it’s not contradictory to “the facts/reality”, it never feels like a lie!!!
    Sometimes it works best for me if I start by accepting the situation as it is, by telling myself that everything is exactly as it should be, even though I cannot see it right now (I will eventually see it, in retrospect – I know that for sure!).
    Jeannette taught me recently to say/think that “it’s perfect and it keeps getting better” – I really love this one and it has already helped me in several tricky situations.
    I’m looking forward to all the wise comments to this brilliant subject 🙂

  • Thanks for launching the conversation, Michelle! Four great tips right there:
    1) EFT (for settling in the moment emotions)
    2) Affirmations (for staying focused on what we want)
    3) Remember it’s all turning out for the best
    4) Let the HVAC situation become a money-maker (nice intention!)
    I read something from Daryn Kagain the other day … let me see if I can find it … oh yeah, from an interview with Success where she talks about being fired from her dream job as a CNN anchor:
    “On that day, it was a really bad thing. Today, it was a really good thing.” She says the moral is that what’s bad today may actually be good tomorrow.
    Abraham reminds us that all expansion comes from contrast. So these “step 1” moments are actually good news. It means we’re mixing it up, and – if we go along for the ride – it’ll take us to even better things (step 3 manifestations).
    Martha Beck says if you trace something fabulous in your life back to the events that led to it, if you trace back far enough, you’ll get to something “bad.” An uncomfortable upheaval or turn of events that you wouldn’t have consciously chosen.
    But by seeing that it led to the best things in your life, then it becomes easier to trust that this one happening right now will do exactly the same. Lead to something fabulous.
    It’s how the system works. 🙂
    When, that is, we don’t get caught up in it.
    And EFT and affirmations and practicing a positive focus, telling a better story, reaching for the better feeling thought, letting yourself feel the feelings now – all that can help you accomplish that.
    Thanks again for posting, Michelle. Looking forward to hearing what other tips and experiences readers share here!

  • michelle says:

    Jeannette –
    Thank you for the great LOA read – Adv. In Manifesting. I thoroughly enjoyed it. You gave me an idea to try – schedule appointments that don’t exist with clients that don’t exist (yet). It makes me laugh because if someone saw my appointment book with fictitious entries, they would think I’m nuts! So funny.
    in reply to how to get back into a positive vibe – I have found eft to be effective. affirmations as well – you really have to believe that EVERYTHING turns out for the best. Heating system needs replaced? You WILL make that money back and more 100% guaranteed.

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