May 23, 2009

Q&A: Okay to Set Deadlines?

Yesterday I listened to Jerry Hicks and Abraham suggest that very often we don’t consciously realize when our desires have manifested.
Jerry gave the example of putting together his “vision board,” tucking it away in the back of a closet, then discovering it five years later to realize every single thing on the board had come to fruition.  !!
(Sounds a lot like John Assaraf’s experience with his dream house as told in The Secret, doesn’t it?)
I wondered how often that happens to the rest of us.  Looking at my “board” to see if anything had unfolded I hadn’t given credit for, sure enough, there was a money affirmation with my “big fat cash” monthly income goal, which I hit last year.
Huh.  Must have eased my way into that so gradually I didn’t even realize it!
In trying to remember when I created the affirmation, I knew this wouldn’t be a puzzle if I used dates in my manifesting.
Which made me think of Tiffany’s question last week:

I was wondering if it was okay to set deadlines. I know, when used improperly, deadlines can be discouraging; however, I feel so great that I know the deadlines would work out. Thanks for any insight!

Since I’ve missed my share of deadlines (the manifestation often seems to unfold just after the deadline passes), I rarely use them.  (Probably works that way for me because the self-imposed date feels like “pressure” and as soon as the pressure’s off, Universe escorts the manifestation right in.)
So I wondered what YOUR experiences with time frames and deadlines regarding manifesting with the law of attraction are.
Would love to hear your input on Tiffany’s question!

  • Tiffany says:

    Judiesjuice, I definitely agree! I find that the belief that time has nothing to do with it facilitates a WAY better feeling than waiting. I feel powerful and calm and relaxed. I realize there’s nothing holding me back from my desire but ME, so why would I stand in my own way?! Exactly! So all my vibrations are a lot less needy because I know its not even a matter of time, just vibration!

  • Judiesjuice says:

    Tiffany, I’ve been thinking about this topic a lot also. I still feel that it’s our vibration that has the most impact. For example, I did the sun/moon meditation yesterday and this morning. I’m focused on two different manifestations but they are both pretty similar. With one, I am waiting to hear from an editor about an idea that I pitched. In my email to her, I said I would follow up with her on Friday if I didn’t hear back sooner.
    So, even though I am working on manifesting an answer from her NOW, my vibration is still holding onto Friday. I keep on thinking “Well, I can call her on Friday.” Even though I may tell myself “I would love to hear from her NOW” I am still holding onto Friday. So, I feel that I could do the sun/moon meditation, nothing is going to happen any sooner than Friday since that is what I am holding onto to.
    The funny thing is that when I was taking a shower, I thought “Why can’t I call her TODAY? I was the one who gave the deadline of Friday but that doesn’t mean I can’t call her today!” Duh! I’m about to call her right now. I know once I call her, I will feel relief (at least for a little while) since the ball will be in her court. And, if I release the need, I bet she gives me an answer that I am looking for 🙂

  • Tiffany says:

    I watched a few more videos of his, and I can relate. He says that time has nothing to do with manifestation…manifesting exists in a place with no time! Its so true, I think we apply “time” to help us feel reasonable and so we don’t scare ourselves…like a map key. We create the key so we can understand unknown symbols and signs; we created time so we can create an understanding of how something go there. Its not about the how or when…time has nothing to do with it, its about enjoying the manifestation!

  • Judiesjuice says:

    Tiffany, I am so glad to hear that! I remember the first time I discovered that youtube video. I’m not even sure how I found it. I felt exactly like you. It was an amazing feeling. Today was the 3rd time I have seen the video. The funny thing is that I seem to only be drawn to the sun and moon meditation. No idea why. I really should listen and try to do the second meditation.

  • Tiffany says:

    Wow Judiesjuce!! That video was amazing. I could literally feel myself transcend and even now, after doing both a few minutes ago, I feel light and just…at peace. Amazing! I’ll be doing this daily.

  • Judiesjuice says:

    Jeannette, he is a very magnetic man, isn’t he? I did the sun and moon meditation this morning.

  • The Inner Genius Coach says:

    O boy, lots of food for thought here Jeanette!
    I have noticed that deadlines do not work for me. Actually, I tend to be very hard on myself about deadlines. So lately, I have been working on my book on the Inner Genius and I have set up at least 10 deadlines, none of which I have met. Well, I was being very hard on myself and recently when I revisited the book, I realized that the time it had taken was perfect. What I had in mind when I first started is totally different from what it has become and what it will be.
    That is a huge lesson in letting things unfold in its own time.
    The book has its own time in which it wants to present itself. It has its own energy and its own wisdom and it is busy simmering and peculating and allowing itself to become full bodied and fully ready. It is like a pregnancy. Somethings you just cannot rush.
    So, although Kim et. al. do not believe in time, I am not there yet. There are some things that I love and respect about time. Like the pregancy concept or a seed planted in the ground and slowly begins to grow and then you see buds and you see it slowly flower. I love that about things in nature. The growth process is absolutely amazing.
    And, it does not negate instant miracles either.
    So there! Here is to deadlines and undeadlines!
    Iyabo Asani

  • Okay, I’m only 16 seconds in and it’s already got my attention, Judiesjuice! ha ha
    Thanks for the link!

  • Judiesjuice says:

    I had to share a youtube link that I discovered. It is Wayne Dyer’s guru. He has many youtube videos. In this one, he shares two meditations on how to manifest something quickly and eliminate time. I have only done the 1st one- moon and sun.
    I’d love to hear your thoughts on this video:

  • Janette says:

    Michele, thank you for that link – what a fabulous piece of research! As a former left-brain science nerd, I love it when science catches up to what the metaphysicists have taught for years 🙂

  • MissyB says:

    Deadlines ! That’s the ultimate proof of faith in the manifestation process…and I can feel the doubt starting to well up in me just thinking of it. But Kim’s outlook takes the heat out of the demand and is reminder of how easy resistence can spring up. So I’m off to want, not need and whooppeee !

  • Tiffany says:

    Debra…WOW!!! That is such an insightful post!! I think some of your epiphany flew throgh cyberspace and hit me in the face ahaha!
    I really love the thought of owning the right to say “I want it now” and then letting it go and enjoying your now.
    It gives the Universe perfect instructions yet trusts It to deliver with no pressure added.
    I don’t know about you but I smell a brand new, succesful, easy LOA strategy!
    Thank you so much and megatons of love! 🙂

  • Debra, I got goose bumps reading your post! I especially love this part:
    “Now, it’s not about deadlines as much as it’s about owning my right to say, “I want it now” …and then forgetting about it ’cause I have something else to tend to that gives me great JOY and FEEL GOOD!”
    That’s IT!! That’s exactly IT, isn’t it?!
    I need a highlighter!

  • Thanks for that link, Michele – I’ve been meaning to try to track that down from you (after seeing you tweet about it).
    Your comment about vision boards is making me realize that everyone’s vision board I’ve ever seen has no time frame attached to it.
    Is that right? Or do you guys make vision boards with deadlines on them?
    Love your story, Michele, about letting an even better car in! Thanks for sharing it here!

  • Debra says:

    Good thing I didn’t give myself a deadline to offer response to this post!
    If I had I may have commented at BEFORE Kim’s comment. That would have been silly ’cause I LOVE & APPRECIATE the essence of her comment and it’s SO right on to my most recently budded experience!!
    I will say that I grew up with deadlines being painstakingly modeled for me by my parents and other adults around me.
    It never seemed to sit very well when I challenged those deadlines (they set *for* me). Go figure.
    I entered my adult years knowing that setting the deadline is not at all what makes it come to fruition…futhermore the deadline’s felt stuck and yuck to me.
    Thus birthed many years of my life where I did things according to my natural flow (which is not at all related to linear time/space). I noticed that the more I allowed for things to ‘get done’ in the flow, in my timing (again, not the clock/calendar kind), the better.
    Then…I got so engaged in this la-la-la flow and the notion of ‘divine timing/right timing that things seemed to be taking A LOT longer to complete their cycle. (yes, I know, that was ME)
    …which encouraged another interesting thing in me. I started feeling like things were TAKING TOO LONG… thereby giving attention to exactly that (Universe delivered, more time); not to mention the fact that clearly I was attached to the outcome! OY! LOL
    The GOOD NEWS is I woke up from that dream! Whew!!
    This question got me all excited…I even did the happy dance, because my little aha moment/epiphany is still so sweetly fresh in my experience!
    The essence of it is getting clearer and clearer and stronger every day. YAY!
    Now, it’s not about deadlines as much as it’s about owning my right to say, “I want it now” …and then forgetting about it ’cause I have something else to tend to that gives me great JOY and FEEL GOOD!
    (The immensity of PEACE and FEEL GOOD I’m experiencing these days is REALLY turning me on!!! 🙂
    This is so fresh for me and already there has been plenty of ‘proof in the pudding’!
    The gap is disappearing and the vortex is a very welcoming place to be, indeed!! 🙂
    Woo-Hoo!!! And Kim… I LOVE YOU! I love your formulas. So simple. I’m adopting them to add even more joy to the grace and ease of creation! Thanks!!

  • My brother recently called me in frustration. “Michele,” he said, “What do you make of a six hour time management class?”
    I’m recently very hot on a new study that shows that easy decisions call for more complex deliberation, while complex problems require rather “unconscious” thought to resolve. This is kinda like Malcolm Gladwell’s premise for Blink — you are already an expert and just need to claim and trust your expertise. Here’s the study:
    So, is it ok to set deadlines for the things you’d like to have in your life? Sure, if it works. 🙂 Esp. if it works to keep what you want top of mind.
    Last year I did a vision board and put a Cooper Mini on there. My dream car. Until I drove it and went, “Eh.” Bought a Honda Accord, which is a fantastic car. I love it. So the Universe heard my call yet intervened and I got something I love more than the thing I thought I wanted.
    On that same vision board are pictures of fruits, vegs, lean meats, etc. as I intended to eat healthier. Which I have done, but not for the reason you think. I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer in Dec. and shifted my diet to support my health challenges.
    So, be careful what you ask for… 🙂
    Your deadline may indeed be yours, but the Universe may have a better plan for you.

  • Mitch, have I ever told you how much I love you?!
    I do!! And this post of yours!
    Thank you for it!
    It’s even more delicious than lemon meringue pie. (I may join you in that manifestation!)

  • Mitch says:

    danae sinclair – is this cosmic ordering website of which you speak available to everyone? That sounds like fun! 😀
    I love Kim’s answer to this question. I would like to think that the Universe really is completely responding to us, not just holding out on us with whens and wheres because it “knows better” than we do. That reminds me of the idea of “unanswered prayers” I used to learn about in Sunday school, which frankly turned me off. I personally don’t like the idea of a higher power that knows better than I do what I should want and when I should get it.
    And I don’t mean to offend anyone by saying that, but it’s the whole reason that LOA appealed to me in the first place. When every book on this subject says I can “be, do, or have anything”… I mean, come on! Nobody has amended this statement to say, “You can be, do, and have anything you want as soon as we decide that it’s the right time.” I really think it does depend on us and what we are able to do with our own beliefs in the meantime. The challenge is not with the Universe. It is with ourselves.
    I’m loving this whole Want It + Don’t Need It = Get It in terms of a deadline. I’ll have to play with some practice projects using that idea. Maybe I’ll manifest a piece of lemon meringue pie by next Friday or something. 🙂

  • It CAN go both ways in different circumstances, huh, Peet? Thanks for a perfect example to point that out.

  • I’ve actually just found a deadline was brilliant in getting me to do a challenging job. In that situation the ball was well and truly in my court, and by me giving the person waiting for it a delivery date meant i just had to roll up my sleeves and tackle the challenges.
    Though when manifesting a broader vision i wouldn’t tend to attach a deadline.

  • Tiffany says:

    Specifically to Kim…I LOVE IT! I just got done rereading your post a few times and I had a light-bulb moment.
    If I want something, but then think about how life will go on and be amazing even if I don’t get it/have it, it removes all resistance. I still want that thing, but I’m appreciating where I am now and feeling great regardless of what happens.
    And I agree, I think time is something we created long ago to help understand the way things work. I think time is as flexible as manifesting…you can do what you want with time. Just today I was expecting to work up until 4pm. I kept thinking “Ehhh I have all the time in the world! No need to rush.” And now I’m 90% done at noon!
    I always feared that being okay with something not happening would make it not happen. Now it seems that its more about feeling good, and feeling that happiness that the “thing” would bring you. When you match that, time is at your mercy. 🙂

  • Well, Tiffany, I like how well the deadlines serve you when they ARE present! (Ex: knowing traffic will allow you to be home when you need to be.)
    Sounds like you’ve got a good handle on this!
    And thanks for giving us the chance to explore it here – it’s a fun topic and a common question. Plus it helps all of us get a better handle on what works for us and what doesn’t. Thanks, Tiffany! 🙂

  • Tiffany says:

    I feel so great having an email of mine featured on the site! Thanks so much Jeannette!
    And to all the replies, I’m stunned! You guys are amazing! I love all these different perspectives 😀
    Whenever I want to manifest something, I make an official request by writing it down or typing it in my journal. For the particular manifestation I was asking about, as soon as I slapped on “I want Mr. Dream Everything by June.”, I felt icky! I was feeling loads of resistance and almost felt slowed down!
    So I definitely agree that deadlines are a no-go at this point. When I know I need something by a certain time, I’m always confident it’ll work out by then. (Ex: I need to be home by 3pm and traffic is ridiculous. I don’t worry and know I’ll get there in time.) Yet when I don’t “need” it by a certain time, putting a deadline on feels weird!
    So I’ve joined the deadline-less crowd! 🙂

  • Ha, Janette – you’re not alone! Kim has that delicious effect on people!
    I love your openness to play with it, my friend. Keep us posted!

  • Janette says:

    Hahaha! Every time I think I know what my answer’s going to be, Kim comes along and kicks my reality out from under me – I love it!!!
    Intellectually I don’t believe in time either, but AT THIS STAGE I haven’t quite mastered the fluid approach Kim clearly has, so I’m still operating in the collectively created illusion of linear time. Of course, in my future I will have achieved full mastery which kinda means I could use that now, doesn’t it? Ouch, my brain hurts…
    The short answer is that generally I have avoided deadlines with LOA, and in life overall. I don’t mind the concept of “timeframes”, however – feels softer and less of a SHOULD than a deadline. I don’t mind imposing a timeframe on myself (I want to get my next draft finished by the end of June) but I guess I’m new enough to manifesting that I’m wary of derailing it by adding timeframes.
    So maybe that’s my next exciting game to play – following Kim’s excellent suggestion, of course.
    Want contract by end 2009 + don’t need contract by end 2009 = get contract by end 2009
    Oooh… I LIKE it!!

  • Yep, you summed their teachings up well, Judiesjuice!
    So really, our only “work” is to create that alignment. 🙂
    Thanks for the well-reminded recap!

  • Judiesjuice says:

    Don’t Esther and Jerry also say the minute we want something, it is ours? If something does not appear immediately, it’s because we are not in alignment. Is that a correct assessment of their teachings?

  • How funny, Susan, that’s exactly what I was thinking of after reading Kim’s post!
    Brilliant move on your part to release the need and let the money in!!
    Posting your experience here will undoubtedly provide much inspiration to others who are struggling with “need” around a “deadline.” Thank you!

  • Such a paradox indeed, Kim!! I love how you start off with “since I don’t believe in time.” ha!
    Gosh, I love you!!
    And your formula is perfect.
    In fact, your final comments are reminding me the reason deadlines don’t work in some situations is because if we really NEED the money/lover/weight loss by a certain date, that need is what keeps it from manifesting.
    But it’s the NEED that’s the stopper, not the deadline.
    Thanks for sharing your voice here, Kim! Much love!

  • Susan says:

    I once needed money to pay for a holiday by a certain date. I knew that because I wanted it by that date I would have resistance to it, where is it, why’s it not here yet, it’s never going to come in time etc. So I decided that if the worst came to the worst I would pay with my credit card and although I didn’t really want to do this I worked out a plan so I knew I could pay it back without too much bother and stress. I got into the place where I thought to myself ,well at least I can pay for my holiday so if extra money doesn’t come my way it doesn’t really matter. Well that took all the neediness out of my request and guess what, I got my extra money on the day I was going to the travel agents to pay. How cool is that ?

  • Kim Falconer says:

    This is a very interesting question, especially considering I don’t believe in time.
    I think the notion of linear sequential events (things happening in a first, then, finally order, is just as much a creation of consciousness as everything else ‘out there’ and in essence illusion. It’s a fantasy and in that sense we can play with time in the same way we play with deliberate creation.
    If we think there is a buffer of time, there will be.
    If we think it will take x amount of time to manifest something, so be that too.
    I don’t think the universe ‘knows’ when the right time to deliver is. I think the universe matches our vibe in ways we can not yet imagine, right down the illusory nano-seconds we expect it to take for ‘something to happen.’ As Nancy reminds us, we get what we vibrate and within our vibration we may well have a concept and expectation around ‘time’. If so, of course we will get exactly that.
    My manifestation formula is:
    Want it + Don’t need it = Get it
    If time is important, I vibe it like this:
    Want it Friday + Don’t need it Friday = Get it Friday
    Next time, if you really desire something by a certain deadline, see what happens if you don’t care at all if you every get it by the deadline.
    It’s such a paradox, isn’t it?
    🙂 Kim

  • Jonathan Lockwood says:

    I’d have to suggest that you experiment. The yardstick for me has been, “Do I really believe this outcome/deadline?” “Does this deadline feel wrong?”
    I liked Nancy’s comment, “when the universe delivers it is according to what your vibration is, not what you “say” the timetable is.”

  • Interesting experience, Danae! That confirms what Abe & Jerry shared about how often we manifest what we wanted without consciously realizing it.
    I’m guessing that’s because the closer we get to it (vibrationally), the less out of the ordinary it seems when it shows up. It’s just what we were expecting, on some level.
    I don’t know – interesting, though! Thanks for pitching in, Danae!

  • interesting question!
    I have sometimes used a website for ‘cosmic ordering’ to put it out there to the universe that I’m ready and willing to receive something – in this context I put a date on the delivery.
    I haven’t made any orders lately but a few days ago received a reminder email about a cosmic order being ‘due’ – and when I thought about it, then went back to the site to check what my ‘orders’ were, I realised that ,y orders had indeed been delivered – in plenty of time….but I must admit I believe that because I’d forgotten about the orders and the deadlines there has been very little resistance to the things I desired showing up in my life.
    so, yeah – if you can release that deadline along with the desire then I see no harm in saying ‘universe, I’d like my soul mate/perfect job/new car/ to be delivered by June 31st please!’.

  • That is what makes the difference, isn’t it, Jonathan? Believing it.
    Sometimes declaring a date helps us believe it more; for others it does just the opposite.
    I’m echoing your reflection of Nancy’s words that Universe is hearing our vibration on it, not necessarily the words themselves.
    Thanks for your helpful responses, Nancy and Jonathan!

  • Nancy says:

    For me the only deadlines that seem to work are for plane schedules. I know that the flight is leaving at a certain time so I am very motivated to meet that deadline.
    For goals, deadlines add pressure and smack of an ultimatum. And when it comes to ultimatums, I don’t do them as a general rule. Plus when the universe delivers it is according to what your vibration is, not what you “say” the timetable is. When there is no deadline for me there is an expectation of “now, next, soon” and no dread about time running out. But then there is the expectation factor about wanting things to happen by a certain time. If there is no time frame then it may happen someday and that someday never comes.
    Everyone has a different way to relate to deadlines so I say go with what works. Time is one of my biggest questions.

  • I love the humor you always bring, MsNikki! As usual, you make excellent points, too. Which makes me think the answer always comes down to: what feels better?, right here, right now, for this one.
    Thanks for pitching in! 🙂

  • MsNikki says:

    This question always gets the best of me. If there is such a concept as “divine or perfect timing” who are we to set deadlines when the big “U” bests Franklin Covey every time in time management??
    It could be just me but I notice that if I have a stringent deadline, i.e. “x” must occur before the full moon” that invariably sets me up for a lot of stress. My focus is soo much on the deadline …any deadline as opposed to the goal. But then again, if I really want something to happen while I am relatively young and have all of my teeth, why not set a deadline on it to happen now instead of later?

  • I think you hit the nail on the head, Juidiesjuice, in that it’s potentially different for each person for each manifestation.
    As I reflected on which things I AM comfortable putting deadlines on, I realized they’re very “low charge” items. Easy to believe and expect will happen.
    Like you, I also have a monthly habit of setting new intentions, and it’s no big deal to me when they get carried over to the following month.
    I like how you use that process to give credit for what has happened, and to check in on desires to see if they’ve changed.
    Thanks for launching the conversation, my friend!

  • Judiesjuice says:

    Every month, I write a set of new moon wish lists. Some times things manifest during the next month and sometimes they don’t. If there is something that I am wanting to manifest asap, well, I do get obsessive about it. And so giving the Universe or myself a time frame usually does not do me any good at all. If I find myself getting impatient, I do ask for signs to help me know I am moving in the right direction or at the very least, I ask for help dealing with my impatience.
    Before writing down my wishes, I review my list of what I wished for the last couple of months. I love doing so because it forces me to realize and acknowledge things that I have manifested or even changed my mind about.
    I wonder if setting time frames work differently with different people. I imagine it may help some, ie, perhaps by giving themselves or the Universe a time frame, it will motivate them to take action. On the other hand, perhaps it will make people think “ok, this is supposed to manifest by Friday and it’s now Thursday, when is it going to happen, omg, it’s not going to happen, what am I going to do if it doesn’t happen” etc…
    Some people may feel more comfortable being super specific and asking for $3,235 by Friday whereas others may feel better saying “Please just give me some money by Friday.”

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