Question Everything (That Doesn’t Feel Good)

The Art of Questioning Everything (that doesn't feel good)Yesterday I wrote a newsletter encouraging conscious creators to use their guidance even on the things we take for granted.

Including popular abundance practices like picking up pennies and carrying hundred dollar bills around. I shared how those practices actually foster anti-abundance for me.

So it’s worth tuning in to make sure a process or exercise truly is taking us where we want to go.

This morning I was tested to walk my talk about prioritizing inner guidance over popular opinion …

A valued friend who is an international luminary shared an article on her facebook page about a politician who suggested that rape wasn’t as awful as it’s made out to be, since it could result in a beautiful child.

Her page quickly filled with comments you might expect:

  • “I would love to slap the piss out of these morons!”
  • “This is terrible, and profoundly disrespectful. I say flood his office with complaints!!!”
  • “I think he should experience it, and get back to us.”
  • “So deeply inappropriate and wrong. I can only imagine the horror and turmoil a woman pregnant from rape goes through.”

Who wouldn’t agree?

Well. Me, for one.

Because my inner guidance isn’t having it. It simply doesn’t agree – no matter how logical or popular or safe those opinions are.

And I know any thought that doesn’t feel good doesn’t take me where I want to go.

Maybe those thoughts quoted above feel better to the people who posted them. (I hope they do. I hope they’re finding thoughts for relief rather than resistance.)

But what feels better to me is to consider …

  • What if that guy’s right?
  • What if rape isn’t the exclusively horrible thing we’ve made it out to be?
  • What if rape isn’t the life-shattering soul-breaking experience we treat it as?
  • What if it was something that a good thing could come from?

How could that be a bad idea to find a lighter thought? What do we gain by holding tight to the negative thoughts?

It’s because some believe if they don’t push against it (by raising awareness of the problem and forcing societal change) that we’ll forever be stuck with what we don’t want.

But it’s exactly the opposite.

Whether it’s rape, ISIS, big pharm, factory farming, etc. – we empower whatever we push against.

The path to our desires is paved with better feeling thoughts.

And to me, those ‘what ifs’ feel freeing. They feel empowering. They feel better.

That’s why I go there.

I don’t expect anyone else to join me there, because I might be the only one who finds solace in those thoughts.

But I share this as yet another example of why it’s important to discern for ourselves what feels better, rather than abdicating our guidance to others (especially others we trust to lead us) who may not take us where it serves to go.

Before reading my friend’s post, I was thinking about how in yesterday’s newsletter when I said I didn’t believe in forgiveness (because I don’t believe someone could “do me wrong”) that some people might assume I’ve never victimized.

The truth is I never have been victimized, and at the same time I have been raped, robbed, defrauded, lied to, cheated on, diagnosed, betrayed, etc.

And I choose not to be a victim.

Because that label, that perspective, doesn’t feel good (or true) to me.

It’s not denial. It’s not resistance.

It’s a perspective I choose because it feels better.

If it felt better to join the masses in beating up the scapegoat of the day, I would.

But it doesn’t. Not to me. Not today.

Because “the other guy” isn’t responsible for changing our world. That’s on each of us, if we desire change.

We can’t point to “them”and say they’re the problem and these are the things that must change – and expect it to change.

It’s on us to go there first.

Which is a simple process of finding thoughts that feel better. Those thoughts lead where we want to be.

Remember what Mother Theresa said about skipping war protests in favor of peace rallies? What we resist persists.

And also what Abe says about upstream journeys – they don’t take us where we want to go. Everything we want is downstream.

I’m not telling you what the better-feeling-thoughts are about rape, or terrorists, or government, or abundance practices.

I’m just suggesting that you find yours. Consciously and deliberately. On whatever subject makes it onto your radar.

If it feels better to foster hatred for another, then rock on with your bad self. (I’ve been there and know personally how sometimes it feels better to blame someone else than myself. For a minute. But it doesn’t feel fab to live there.)

If it feels better to foster forgiveness, then that thought is also taking you to a good place.

If it feels better to foster peace and love, please, by all means, go there. Even if it’s not popular. Even if you’re the only one who would think it. Even if everyone else thinks you’re crazy for thinking it.

There is never a good reason to dismiss or overrule your inner guidance.

You don’t have to shout it from the rooftops or get others to agree. You can roll solo with those thoughts and keep it under wraps.

I only share mine here as an example of how and when to practice it.

For the record, three of my friends actively work in rape victim support. I believe we can be friends even when we don’t entertain the same better feeling thoughts.

I’m not trying to convince them of my thoughts, and I don’t think they need me to agree with theirs.

And I’m not suggesting that anyone who experienced rape doesn’t deserve to feel however he/she feels about it. All our feelings and experiences are valid, and there’s no right or wrong about whatever we feel.

But this post isn’t about rape or politics or death or any of the highly charged topics we run across.

It’s simply a reminder of the power of letting our own guidance lead the way with thoughts that feel better. That’s all.

Question your leaders and question popular opinion. Be willing to think the thought less traveled. And remember that we get what we vibrate.
blessings to you

  • May 19, 2015
  • dzandueta says:

    A bit late but…you gave me something, some way to think about something.
    Thank you.

  • Sara says:

    This is soooo great. It seems like every five minutes someone on the internet is driving home resistance involving the empowerment of women and children. It once felt better for me to engage in it, because it validated something inside me. Anymore, I just wonder, “Where does the striving for control end!?” And the answer is exactly what you shared here; it ends with me commiting to my own clarity, living and letting live. And not resisting anyone who chooses to participate – we all do our best with where we are and what we’re willing to reach for. This is really good stuff. Thank you for this post!!

    • Jeannette says:

      I’ve been thinking about that, Sara, about how for some, for a while, it may very well indeed feel better to embrace the fight against. Just like how sometimes, when we’re at the bottom of the vibrational scale, it feels better to get angry and blame someone else than it does to blame our own self. The key being that it might offer temporary relief, but it serves us to continue the upward journey.
      Really glad for your post on this, Sara. Thanks for taking the time to chime in. 🙂

  • anonymous says:

    This is important to remember, because we all interpret things in different ways and have unique ways of making ourselves feel good. For instance, I read many gurus say to forget about what you want…but when I try to do this, it doesn’t feel good to me. What often brings me so much joy is to imagine and bask in my desired manifestations through daydreaming and simply playing! It feels so, so good for me. I only stop when it stops feeling that way.

  • Janette says:

    Thank you Jeannette. I have no words for how powerful this post is – only my undying admiration and appreciation for the existence of YOU on the planet.

  • Annette says:

    MMm . . . it was very hard for me to come to that acceptance of those who aren’t very nice to animals.
    But I am glad I did. While it’s still hard to read about (so I don’t), in my opinion there has to be light/dark, yin/yang in order for the world & Universe to go ’round.
    For me the better-feeling thought is to send Universal Love to that which I find unpleasant.
    And I came across a teaching not too long ago: If everything is from the Creator . .then EVERYTHING is from the Creator.
    Just getting my head around that took some time.
    But it makes sense, and therefore I cannot condemn. I judge, because I haven’t gotten past that yet, but it’s more of an opinion of choice I keep to myself. I believe that jumping on the condemnation bandwagon just gives that bandwagon a new town to show up in. I’d rather just take the wheels off of it.
    Like Abe’s buffet example : hmmm, don’t agree with what they’re doing . . Look over HERE – that’s what I like! And then I send out some impersonal, Universal Love to whatever wasn’t my cup of tea.

    • Jeannette says:

      I get it, Annette – how it can take a while to wrap our heads around the idea that everything is from Source.
      And this is just brilliant: “I believe that jumping on the condemnation bandwagon just gives that bandwagon a new town to show up in. I’d rather just take the wheels off of it.” Well said, my friend!

  • Wow, this is so unbelievably amazing. It really does all boil down to what feels best for each individual—not how others think we should feel based on their beliefs/judgements/etc. Nothing is ever truly black or white and we’re all uniquely individual with our own sets of experiences, beliefs, thought patterns, etc. Kudos to you for writing this and giving people another set of thoughts that they can choose if it feels better for them.

    • Jeannette says:

      Yes, my friend – key words, “choose if it feels better.” As long as we’re each paying attention to what truly feels better to us and we’re following that thread, we’re in good shape. 🙂

  • Sophie says:

    yes, yes, yes!!!!!!
    I would like to go a little further.
    What if it was not about feeling better?
    First, what’s true for me may not be true for you and I agree that asking ourselves what do I know is true for me here is what will create more for EVERYONE. Basically, this is what will truly end wars.
    Second, it’s not about judging whether they are right or wrong. Feeling good or feeling bad, right or wrong, none of this allows us the freedom we truly seek.
    Freedom means we go beyond the polarity. Judging anyone for any point of view (in a positive or negative way) will keep us in the loop of judgement, period.
    What is beyond that? What is rape? What is the creation of a child? What purpose does this all have?
    When I ask all these questions, my body, my mind, my whole being expands.
    THANK YOU SO MUCH Jeannette for being you!
    I adore you!

  • Parul says:

    Flora and Michael, thank you for sharing your stories. I’m going to save them and when in the future I’m caught up in judgement, I’m going to come back and read them again. Thank you!

  • Jeannette says:

    Wow. You guys inspire me.
    Thank you so much for sharing your stories!
    It’s one thing to preach this stuff, it’s another to live it. And you’re showing just how it can be done by real people in real life.
    Love you guys!! 🙂

  • Parul says:

    A very moving post, Jeannette, … and relevant to the environment that prevails in my country, right now.
    In the recent times, a lot has been said and done (mainly protests and debates) about safety of women and children, in India. I have never found it comfortable to join in the protests and have always felt that empowering women and children and talking about empowering them might help us a lot more as opposed to them as ‘victims that need rescuing’. It definitely feels better.
    While I don’t think I’m there with looking at all the above issues mentioned above as not as bad as they are made out to be, I am definitely open to playing with the thought. 🙂

  • Michael says:

    Dear Jeannette,
    Your words resonate to me as I was astonished to learn of my partner’s infidelity, lasting 8 months with her boss, who had been my good friend that I’d introduced her to. My first and lasting reaction was to try to understandI why? She said she did not know why. She had called me from work to tell me, explaining that his girlfriend was going to tell me, and that she thought it would make a difference coming from her first. Then click, she hung up.
    I was also stunned, and invited him over that evening, searching for an answer, (both were Gemini), and he shed no new light. I asked him to leave my home, keep their relationship strictly business, and never return.
    I asked everyone, from her parents,and learned that her Father had an affair while married, (no help there), to finally my parents, who visited with us. After listening to both of us, my Gemini Sun Aries Asc. Father simply said to me, “The answer is simple, you either end the marriage, or decide to rebuild it.” My Capricorn Mars reacted naturally to rebuild, without animosity, together.
    And now 2 wonderful sons later, I am very pleased to have overcome and resisted a victim mindset.

  • Gary Bodley says:

    Hi Jeannette,
    This post demonstrates how we are conditioned to judge things as good or bad, right or wrong. That approach to life does not serve what we want or who we really are. By your example, we can see that there is good in everything and we must strive to focus on that because that leads us to more of what we want. Condemning anything as bad doesn’t help us a bit regardless of what the masses want to believe.
    Ultimately, I think a lot of what I fear has to do with what others will think of me. But why the hell would I care about that? I’m committing myself to caring only about what my inner self thinks about me. I see you’re already there.
    Thanks so much for this awesome post!

  • Practically Always Pollyanna says:

    Kudos to you for writing this blog, Jeannette. There aren’t many souls awake enough to see it that way. I used to be one of them. Only in my case I was a victim of bullying (and wore that badge with pride), when that was over I attracted a decade long domestic violence relationship (ditto), and when I finally saw the light and walked away from that, not long after I found myself being bullied yet again, this time by my boss after my baby died. THEN I got it. We will repeat these victim scenarios over and over and over until we correct our thoughts. I can honestly say that I now thank all of those ‘bullies’ for helping me see the light. I know rape is a different situation altogether but the patterns of victimization always play out the same until we realise that everybody who comes into our lives is simply a reflection of our inner world.

  • Cheryl Corrente says:

    What an amazing post. When I first started reading it I must admit that I thought, What, how can she say this but as I continued to read your words to became so comfortable with the whole premise of your post. I wholeheartely agree with your insightful take on it.

  • Katy says:

    I agree on how refreshing it is for you to put it out there. Hasn’t Abe said time and time again…it’s our choice, and our perception of any event or circumstance. We choose to label things/events as ‘bad’ or wrong…and well of course we have the right to etc. Yet to continue to do so well, the Universe just responds to ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’ each and every time that subject comes up!
    Hats off on this one – I know I still have work to do in this dept, but I know I have moved forward in my thinking on this over the years while consciously applying LOA – work in progress. 🙂

  • Kim says:

    Jeannette, this is a powerful post and very moving for me.
    Thank you so much! You really call us on following inner guidance with such vivid examples and ideas to explore.
    I appreciate it so much.
    And Flora, you are amazing. I’m so inspired by you both right now.
    Thank you!

  • Jeannette says:

    Wow, Flora. I am so impressed that you were able to find those words in that very moment. That is a level of mastery I strive for.
    Completely agree with you how much conditioning there is that isn’t necessarily helpful for many of us. Yet again another opportunity for us to go within and find our helpful guidance.
    Thank you for posting, my friend. It’s the sort of example we don’t see spotlighted often, but I think we’d all be better off for.

  • Flora says:

    Jeannette I am raising my glass to you. Someone needed to say this for years. I was raped in college and everyone was so very quick to give me labels and try to put me in a box of negativity, but that is not where I was. The more people kept saying how sorry they were that such an evil thing had happened to me the heavier my life became.
    The college nearly forced me to go to a support group that I didn’t want to attend. Everyone walked around me like they were expecting me loose my shit. People whispered that it must not have been that bad otherwise I would have pressed charges or that I asked for it. It was brutal are required medical attention after the fact.
    This what I did while the man was holding my head during the rape- I said “I forgive you.” He instantly stopped and ran off. I knew who he was. The school authorities knew about his behavior and I asked that he get help to address his sexual aggression. I didn’t want another woman or man to be the object of his attention. I would like to add that is the only time in my life that I have ever used the words I forgive you.
    I had two choices to follow the path that says you have to be a victim walking in fear of being touched or loved OR I could deliberately choose to heal two lives his and mine. I chose the second path. It was a life experience that showed me what I am really made of- compassion even in the face violence. My reaction during the experience was automatic- I forgive you seemed like the most powerful thing to say at that moment and I trust my instincts. I am glad I did.
    I deliberately chose to help us both. I didn’t and still don’t believe that punishing people by locking them away in concrete cells is a productive or promising reflection of a healthy community or society.
    Rape can be soul crushing if you let the people who want to put you in a box put you there. They will crush you with what they think “you should feel or how you should react.” When you don’t follow their lead you get punished by being ostracized until the next horrible thing comes up to grab their negative attention.
    Thank you again for reminding us to get sucked into what is society expects.
    Best of Blessings,

    • Dominic says:

      Thanks so much for sharing that Flora. What a powerful example of who we can be in the face of any condition!
      With Gratitude,

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