Question Everything (That Doesn’t Feel Good)
Yesterday I wrote a newsletter encouraging conscious creators to use their guidance even on the things we take for granted.
Including popular abundance practices like picking up pennies and carrying hundred dollar bills around. I shared how those practices actually foster anti-abundance for me.
So it’s worth tuning in to make sure a process or exercise truly is taking us where we want to go.
This morning I was tested to walk my talk about prioritizing inner guidance over popular opinion …
A valued friend who is an international luminary shared an article on her facebook page about a politician who suggested that rape wasn’t as awful as it’s made out to be, since it could result in a beautiful child.
Her page quickly filled with comments you might expect:
- “I would love to slap the piss out of these morons!”
- “This is terrible, and profoundly disrespectful. I say flood his office with complaints!!!”
- “I think he should experience it, and get back to us.”
- “So deeply inappropriate and wrong. I can only imagine the horror and turmoil a woman pregnant from rape goes through.”
Who wouldn’t agree?
Well. Me, for one.
Because my inner guidance isn’t having it. It simply doesn’t agree – no matter how logical or popular or safe those opinions are.
And I know any thought that doesn’t feel good doesn’t take me where I want to go.
Maybe those thoughts quoted above feel better to the people who posted them. (I hope they do. I hope they’re finding thoughts for relief rather than resistance.)
But what feels better to me is to consider …
- What if that guy’s right?
- What if rape isn’t the exclusively horrible thing we’ve made it out to be?
- What if rape isn’t the life-shattering soul-breaking experience we treat it as?
- What if it was something that a good thing could come from?
How could that be a bad idea to find a lighter thought? What do we gain by holding tight to the negative thoughts?
It’s because some believe if they don’t push against it (by raising awareness of the problem and forcing societal change) that we’ll forever be stuck with what we don’t want.
But it’s exactly the opposite.
Whether it’s rape, ISIS, big pharm, factory farming, etc. – we empower whatever we push against.
The path to our desires is paved with better feeling thoughts.
And to me, those ‘what ifs’ feel freeing. They feel empowering. They feel better.
That’s why I go there.
I don’t expect anyone else to join me there, because I might be the only one who finds solace in those thoughts.
But I share this as yet another example of why it’s important to discern for ourselves what feels better, rather than abdicating our guidance to others (especially others we trust to lead us) who may not take us where it serves to go.
Before reading my friend’s post, I was thinking about how in yesterday’s newsletter when I said I didn’t believe in forgiveness (because I don’t believe someone could “do me wrong”) that some people might assume I’ve never victimized.
The truth is I never have been victimized, and at the same time I have been raped, robbed, defrauded, lied to, cheated on, diagnosed, betrayed, etc.
And I choose not to be a victim.
Because that label, that perspective, doesn’t feel good (or true) to me.
It’s not denial. It’s not resistance.
It’s a perspective I choose because it feels better.
If it felt better to join the masses in beating up the scapegoat of the day, I would.
But it doesn’t. Not to me. Not today.
Because “the other guy” isn’t responsible for changing our world. That’s on each of us, if we desire change.
We can’t point to “them”and say they’re the problem and these are the things that must change – and expect it to change.
It’s on us to go there first.
Which is a simple process of finding thoughts that feel better. Those thoughts lead where we want to be.
Remember what Mother Theresa said about skipping war protests in favor of peace rallies? What we resist persists.
And also what Abe says about upstream journeys – they don’t take us where we want to go. Everything we want is downstream.
I’m not telling you what the better-feeling-thoughts are about rape, or terrorists, or government, or abundance practices.
I’m just suggesting that you find yours. Consciously and deliberately. On whatever subject makes it onto your radar.
If it feels better to foster hatred for another, then rock on with your bad self. (I’ve been there and know personally how sometimes it feels better to blame someone else than myself. For a minute. But it doesn’t feel fab to live there.)
If it feels better to foster forgiveness, then that thought is also taking you to a good place.
If it feels better to foster peace and love, please, by all means, go there. Even if it’s not popular. Even if you’re the only one who would think it. Even if everyone else thinks you’re crazy for thinking it.
There is never a good reason to dismiss or overrule your inner guidance.
You don’t have to shout it from the rooftops or get others to agree. You can roll solo with those thoughts and keep it under wraps.
I only share mine here as an example of how and when to practice it.
For the record, three of my friends actively work in rape victim support. I believe we can be friends even when we don’t entertain the same better feeling thoughts.
I’m not trying to convince them of my thoughts, and I don’t think they need me to agree with theirs.
And I’m not suggesting that anyone who experienced rape doesn’t deserve to feel however he/she feels about it. All our feelings and experiences are valid, and there’s no right or wrong about whatever we feel.
But this post isn’t about rape or politics or death or any of the highly charged topics we run across.
It’s simply a reminder of the power of letting our own guidance lead the way with thoughts that feel better. That’s all.