Resistance to Relaxing?
Is it curious that even though we know that “what we resist persists” …
… and that allowing is the best way to let in good stuff,
… that we still get anxious at the thought of giving up “hard work” and struggle in favor of doing what feels good?
I continue to be amazed at how many people ask for help getting over anxiety at letting go of struggle.
Are we that strongly programmed for struggle?
I have to admit I know the routine, though …
Years ago in corporate world I hated not just my job but my entire life. Rather than stop doing what I didn’t like I drove myself to a mini-meltdown in the backyard.
That’s what it took for me to let go of what wasn’t working – a mental collapse.
Only then did I honor what my heart and soul screamed for: an end to the work I hated, an end to pretending everything was okay, an end to trying to keep it all together. I let it all go in one feel swoop as I retreated to the bedroom for good.
When I tell this story, I credit a short scripting session (where you talk about what you want as if it’s already happened) as the trigger for a turnaround, but I underemphasize the importance of doing nothing in bed for four days to allow a transformation.
Giving it all up like sounds extreme, doesn’t it? It seemed so to me, anyway.
But relaxing and letting go of resistance doesn’t have to be that dramatic.
If you want to baby step your way there, you can begin by just taking a deeper breath right now.
Already there’s less resistance. That’s how easy it is.
You can also loosen your shoulders right now, too. Soften your eyes. Unfurrow your brow. Maybe roll your head gently to relax a stiff neck.
The body is a great tool to kickstart the releasing of resistance. (Thank you, Abigail.)
Then perhaps you can let this tension-releasing process start to spill into other areas of life, little by little.
- Maybe by relaxing boundaries. (So you’re a few minutes late for your lunch date? It’s be better than showing up stressed and on time.)
- Or maybe it’s to strengthen a boundary with a delicious “no thanks” where a reluctant yes would ordinarily prevail.
- Perhaps it’s to reconsider an old habit. (So what if all the dirty clothes aren’t in the basket before bed?)
Whatever you’re wound up about, consider loosening up a bit. Notice what that extra room does for you physically and emotionally.
Contrary to popular opinion, I predict your world will not come crashing to a stupendous halt when you give up the struggle of hard work and that rather the opposite will unfold:
you’ll recognize it not only feels fabulous to release the resistance but also realize how nicely it opens doors for cool things to manifest.
Spouses get sweeter, traffic gets smoother, cashiers are friendlier, great deals pop up, good news is announced, lost items reappear, new job offers come in, surprise money appears, and more smile-inducing things unfold.
So if you find the thought of only doing what feels good too impossible to embrace, start small. A deep breath, relaxing the body, and very soon the Universe will meet you in the sweet spot you’re headed.