Success or Slump: Who’s To Say?

success.jpgWelcome to the second half of 2008!   Can I get a big round of “woo hoos”?!

July’s LOA blog carnival theme is success stories, which has always been an intriguing topic for me.  Specifically, how we each define and measure our success.

What I’ve come to learn over the years of working with clients is that one person’s success is another’s failure.  What to ME is perfect evidence of a dream come true could be someone else’s worst nightmare.

Success is an undeniably intimately personal experience.

I’m thinking of Rhonda, very new to LOA who hired me last year despite suspicions that I was full of it when she saw my 2003 Ford ZX3.  That was not her idea of someone who knew how to attract an abundance of wealth.

I’ve also heard: “No offense, but why would someone who can create whatever they want still work as a coach?”  Or live in Rose Park, or have an ex-husband, or need a pedicure?

Well, I say, I got married and divorced long before I learned about deliberate creation.


But that’s all I offer an excuse for, because the rest of my life is just how I pick it.  Yes, this is (virtually all) on purpose.

This is, based on the desires I’ve fostered over the years, my idea of a good time.  I’m doing it my way, and that’s the best definition of success I could think of.

It’s true, I have several cats and dogs and love love love it!  I’m friends with all my exes and glad there are lots of them; I spend as little time in the salon as I can get away with; and am learning how to create long-lasting happiness with my live-in boyfriend.  I don’t have a lot of close friends, but the few I have are worth their weight in gold.  I’d rather sit home with a good book than go to a party, and I prefer camping in the mountains over a trip to the bahamas.  But that’s just me!

If it’s important to you to drive an expensive car, or put the kids through private school, or be married, or have perfect body parts (mm, I might have bought into that one), or claim the biggest bank account in your circle, then that’s what you should measure YOUR level of success by.

But don’t hold me – or anyone else for that matter – to that standard, since we each have different ideas about what success looks like.

What matters is that each of us knows our own definition.  Letting everyone choose their own measure is a nice way to live and let live (i.e. allow).

How do you know when you’ve arrived?  What indicates your achievement?

If I know anything, it’s that striving for someone else’s definition of success is a quick ticket to misery.

My idea of success:

  • Waking up looking forward to the day
  • Feeling good about myself and how I spend my time
  • Laughing, Enjoying, Appreciating
  • Being true to myself

(That’s certainly not how I always measured it, though!  I remember when what mattered was how many people approved of and accepted me, how many credentials and promotions I had on my resume, what my credit score was and how many men I could capture the hearts of.   Ugh, huh?)

Tell me YOUR definition of success.  How do you know when you’ve really nailed it?  What are the key things that having, doing or being allow you to call it a successful life?

I can’t wait to hear!

  • June 30, 2008
  • Fun article, Flavia! Thanks for the link. I liked the link it gave to this article, too:
    The final question in that piece is something we already have nailed, huh?! (How to capitalize on the placebo effect!) woo hoo!!
    Thanks for posting, Flavia. You always bring good stuff!!

  • Flavia says:

    I love your vision of success Jeannetee- it resonates with me fully. That is what I aspire to also. Talking about happiness and success, have you seen this article called “Happiness Buys Success?” that was on the web the other day? Finally scientist are researching it and proving what we already know.

  • Kelly, I love your independence declaration! As well as your awareness of your old story (“I can work deliberate creation on just about everything, BUT money”) and your switching to a new one.

    That’s what it’s all about!

    Thanks for posting, Kelly – I love your energy!

  • Kelly says:

    Here’s a perfect example of LoA sending you what you need. I was JUST, 5 minutes ago, on the phone with my partner and telling her that I was resistant to big money (we talk LoA alot). I’m pretty simple in my needs and have some internal resistance to money (judging others for their SUV’s, not feeling like I’ve ever worked hard enough to be “rich”, etc). I can work deliberate creation (with mind-numbing success) on just about everything, BUT money.
    So I hang up and pop over to this blog post.
    And there it is. I am working more toward’s Jeannette’s vision of “rich” and my LoA statement is more like “I have an abundance of money to give to travel, give to charity, save for retirement” and “I have more than enough money to build a greenhouse”.
    Thank you for the riches today, Jeannette!
    Happy Independence Day! I am independent from the Corporate World! Woo hoo!

  • I like that definition of success, Nancy. Someone just sent me an email saying her idea of success is turning a situation around. I like how in tune we all are with what success means to us – that’s a powerful guiding light in life, huh? And to be guided by love .. well, it certainly doesn’t get better than that.

    Thanks for posting, Nancy!

  • Nancy Madlin says:

    I just heard someone say that success is love….and I thought that was really cool.
    It feels good to realize that if I allow more love in what I do and think and feel, my success will always benefit myself and all others….That really does help me let it in easier…..
    Thank you all for sharing. I enjoyed hearing your good news….
    I have also had wonderful success with visualizing fitness….I had sort of forgotten about it recently, so now I can go back to doing it again….

  • Well, I’ve got about a billion thoughts all over the place on these great topics we’re floating here! I’ll narrow it down to share this:

    Indeed, it IS all about the feelings. The vibe.
    I’m going where John’s going. !!
    And yes, let’s make no bones about it – we ARE God. (If Neal Donald Walsh can say it out loud, so can I.)

    In a past lifetime, saying something like that would probably earn me a quick exit out! lol

    Anna, I think I heard something from Abe lately about how success and joy/happiness go hand in hand, so I think you summed it up nicely. 🙂

    And Robert – here’s a toast for our freedom to choose! Woo hoo!

  • Anna says:

    For me, success is simple: Being happy about and with Who I am, Where I am, and What I do.
    C’est ca!

  • Paul says:

    I wasn’t going to reply to this post as I didn’t feel I had something to add but these successes need to be celebrated:
    Kim, you make it look as easy as it is.
    Let that Inner Goddess out, Gillian! (You know you both want to.) What a great example of the synergies between inner and outer work.
    I was going to suggest, Peregrine John, your “Adonis” within but it sounds to me like you’ve met someone more powerful (and waaaaay cooler).
    Oh, and I do have a success to share with you after all: I have intended for myself to spend more time in the company of successful people and here you all are! Thanks.

  • Peregrine John says:

    LOL Of course it’s different! We are different, each of us, and between the sexes most notably. (And Vive la Différence!) If anything, it makes it all the more glaring, the omission. Men have feelings too (shock, I know), and as they are largely unexamined, a metaphor (or reality? Ahaaa!) that encapsulates it so neatly as Goddess does for women should be adopted post haste! No, it has different implications, but none which are less useful.
    After I posted my first comment I realized more of the answer to my question, but I’ll leave it lie as it is less relevant and, hmmm, much less positive. But I also realized that those differences between each of us in the feelings engendered by and impressions of that divine spark, make it very personalized. (I say this in observation of the men who have discussed such things with me before, and I’ll not presume to speak for the women, who in any case seem to have found consensus on the topic.) Moreover, I understood that at least for me, and quite probably for the Gentle Reader as well, the answer to that personal goal, the individual nature of that divine spark, can be found by simply asking one’s deeper self what it is.
    Turns out I already know him.
    He smells of leaf and moss and clear sky. He is beautiful, joyfully powerful, full of music. His arms are both danger and protection. Anyone truly alive wants to be part of his world, to be part of him and part of him within them. He wants what he loves and loves what he wants, and for each he simply reaches out and it falls into his hand. He is wonderful and neither proclaims nor apologizes for it. He is huntsman and king and dancer.
    That’s where I’m going.

  • Gillian says:

    Well, I am glad to inspire you all to go to the gym, ha ha!Applying mental visions together with physical excercise really gets us much better and faster results. The good thing is I don’t deprive myself of anything good. I still indulge in delicious snacks ( I love to snack) and I eat sinful food in moderation. The other good thing about working out and loosing eight gradually is also that your weight stays stable. So even if I get so sick of the gym and decide not to work-out for 2-3 month my weight stays the same and stable. Its great! And for all you “Goddesses” out there, another great thing about working-out is that it cleans out our system as we sweat out our toxins and we really get great skin!!! Great, smooth, peach skin!!! Sorry Jeannette, I am not trying to use your blog as a beauty site, just thought I may share this.
    Well, now with the success I experienced with weight loss, I probabaly am manifesting my other goals very soon as well, hmm!
    As for John Peregrine’s question, I am not sure the notion of “God” has the same implication on a man as “Goddess” has on a woman and that is probably why nobody pointed it out in a man. Though we all have divinity in all of us, we all have power and strength, man and woman, but there is a certain “feeling” attached to the word “Goddess”, that defines feminine grace, intellect, allure, power and confidence for a woman. The word “God” does not invoke the same “feeling” in a man than “Goddess” in a woman. And you may ask Jeannette, its all about the feelings we feel, isn’t it Jeannette?

  • This is a great topic for our “independence day” weekend. Because my definition of success is having the freedom to choose what I do and who I am. And so far I like who I am. (I like who you are too, Jeannette.)

  • Anna says:

    Way to go, Gillian! Talk about leading edge!
    I recently read that by simply imagining a workout, feeling it, muscles working, tiring, burning, building in strength, these imaginary workouts have been proven to be something like 40-60% as effective on the body as an actual workout.
    Cool, huh?

  • Peregrine John says:

    Yeah. Tony Robbins is always on about people “should-ing all over themselves.” Funny guy…
    Hey, wait a sec. Pondering Gillian’s way of envisioning, thinking, “cool notion,” and then it hit me: Is there not a God inside every man also? Why, in the name of all things extraordinary, does no one ever point this out? Do I not have that complete and beautiful, even divine, Self that deserves to be what it is? Does my mind not ride around in a fleshly chariot that should reflect the strength inside?
    Well, of course! And Gillian’s visualization, the combination of physical and mental exercise, is a wonderfully enlightened way to get there. The mental and the physical are closely related, after all, and each affects the other continuously. I’ll be hitting the gym tonight, and will follow her lead exactly.

  • Shama Hyder says:

    Woo-hoo! What a cool post!
    You know, Jeannette, when I had you as a coach-I really was struggling with so many “ideas” of what success should be like.
    Then I let go, followed my passion, and just took EACH moment as it came.
    Wouldn’t you know it? I was making 6 figures before I could even “think” about success. Oh, and I am getting married next month-same guy. : )

  • You practiced really nice allowing, Shama. And you made it look easy!
    I’ve been meaning to tell you congrats on your engagement! (I keep trying to send facebook messages to people, but the messages just come to me instead of the intended recipient. lol)
    Maybe I should include tech savvy skills in my definition of success and … oh wait a minute, there I go with a “should”!
    I love how you so easily let go of “shoulds,” Shama, and success found you swiftly. You rock!

  • Gillian – I love it! I just read your first post and was starting to type how your envisioning your success stories would line you quickly up with one ..
    .. and before I even start typing I notice the second post is from you as well, and here you are already telling your success story! ha ha!
    Jeez, you guys rock!
    Okay, I just read your story and HELLOO!! I don’t think it’s tacky at all to manifest our Goddess selves! I think that’s beautiful and perfectly appropriate!
    Very cool that you did it by including both the physical and mental workout. I was just telling someone today that approaching weight loss on both those fronts is extremely effective since most of us are strongly brainwashed/programmed into believing that diet & exercise is required.
    Using the mental intention to maximize your results is brilliant. !!
    Thanks for the inspiration, Gillian! If you can believe it, I’ve gotten out of the habit of doing that. So my elliptical workouts are about to get a big boost as a result of reading your story. 🙂

  • Gillian says:

    Oh wait yes, I remember, I can actually can share a success story with you. For some time I have been working out to reclaim my slim and slender figure. I had let myself down for a couple of years due to some personal traumas and it was my firm intention to reclaim my fit and slender body, reclaim my confidence in myself and my power, and as tacky as this may sound to you, but I wanted to reclaim the “Goddess” inside me. Yes, I firmly believe in every woman is a “Goddess”, waiting to shine through. So for that reason, I started a heavy work-out regime 5 days a week. Though I got so sick of going to the gym every morning on an empty stomach in order to loose weight faster (because we burn calories taking it from our storage), I stuck through it and I saw results. I did loose a good amount of weight, but it really involved a heavy work-out routine and discipline. Then I figured, why don’t I combine mental excercise with physical excersice to maximise the result. So I started visualizing myself in a perfect body, I saw very clearly exactly which body parts I want slimmer and slender. My arms, my tummy flattened, my hips, my thighs. I spent about 10 minutes before work out visualizing my slender body. Then I get on the treadmill and set an intention that by the time I finished running for an hour, I want 2-3mm off my entire body frame. As I run, I visualize how my calories are burnt as I run and how it takes the calories and fat from all the body parts I wish to have taken. It works! I have lost weight in a much faster time since I combined mental and physical work-out! Within 2 weeks of work out while using visualizations, I had just about everyone comment how much thinner I am, though I never asked. They thought I went on a crash diet, but I did not. I just employed the power of the mind to achieve easier,better and faster results. I guess, this is how it works in all areas of our lives, if we don’t take advantage of our mind power, everything will be an uphill struggle.

  • Gillian says:

    Wow, that sounds so fantastic Kim! I am practising this deliberate creation with Jeanette’s Pray Rain Journaling technique now and I already envision myself sharing my success stories with her and all of you very soon. By the way, I read your website about Chinese Astrology, being Chinese myself, I know a thing or two about Chinese Astrology. I love discussing Astrology, be it Chinese or Western Zodiac, and hope to share some views about it with you about this topic sometime. Feel free to ask me any questions about Chinese Astrology, if you like, I have studied it to some extend.
    Best Regards,

  • Okay, Kim, I’ve been retelling your story all day! ha ha! I love it!

    THAT is deliberate creation at its finest! “Just like that!” Simple, easy, effective.

    And of course, fun to share!!

    I’m glad I had a topic that allowed you to tell us your cool manifestation. You’re such an inspiration!!

  • Kim Falconer says:

    Jeannette, Everyone!!!
    Today, July 1, 2008, I achieve a moment of pure ecstasy–a success I am busting to share. I thought, “maybe Jeanette will have a topic on the blog that would invite the telling of this story”–and here it is, so double success!
    Here’s what happened!
    I borrow a CD from a friend 5 months ago and it’s been sitting next to my computer for age. This morning I thought, “I have to get this back to him!”
    But we hadn’t crossed paths since I quit the day job several months ago so I closed my eye, imagined his face as we bumped into each other out of the blue and I handed back the disk. I pretended it was ‘real’ for about 5 seconds then got ready to go to the gym. I was out the door when I had a sudden urge to grab the CD. My inner voice knew I would see him, just as I imagined.
    But I nearly didn’t take it. I never run into him and I thought it might not be safe to have it in my bag, on the bike and all.
    Inner voice rules thought so I grabbed it and fifteen minutes later I rounded the corner where I imagined I would see him. No one was there and I shrugged, took off my helmet and looked up and there he was, coming down the stairs from the cinema. I nearly burst out in song I was so thrilled!
    I handed him back his CD and he asked how I knew he would be there.
    I winked and said, “Deliberate creation. Works every time!”
    That’s success. That’s magic! Wow, what a wonderful world!!!
    Happy Second Half of the Year!!!
    xxx Kim

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