Success or Slump: Who's To Say?
Welcome to the second half of 2008! Can I get a big round of “woo hoos”?!
July’s LOA blog carnival theme is success stories, which has always been an intriguing topic for me. Specifically, how we each define and measure our success.
What I’ve come to learn over the years of working with clients is that one person’s success is another’s failure. What to ME is perfect evidence of a dream come true could be someone else’s worst nightmare.
Success is an undeniably intimately personal experience.
I’m thinking of Rhonda, very new to LOA who hired me last year despite suspicions that I was full of it when she saw my 2003 Ford ZX3. That was not her idea of someone who knew how to attract an abundance of wealth.
I’ve also heard: “No offense, but why would someone who can create whatever they want still work as a coach?” Or live in Rose Park, or have an ex-husband, or need a pedicure?
Well, I say, I got married and divorced long before I learned about deliberate creation. Ha!
But that’s all I offer an excuse for, because the rest of my life is just how I pick it. Yes, this is (virtually all) on purpose.
This is, based on the desires I’ve fostered over the years, my idea of a good time. I’m doing it my way, and that’s the best definition of success I could think of.
It’s true, I have several cats and dogs and love love love it! I’m friends with all my exes and glad there are lots of them; I spend as little time in the salon as I can get away with; and am learning how to create long-lasting happiness with my live-in boyfriend. I don’t have a lot of close friends, but the few I have are worth their weight in gold. I’d rather sit home with a good book than go to a party, and I prefer camping in the mountains over a trip to the bahamas. But that’s just me!
If it’s important to you to drive an expensive car, or put the kids through private school, or be married, or have perfect body parts (mm, I might have bought into that one), or claim the biggest bank account in your circle, then that’s what you should measure YOUR level of success by.
But don’t hold me – or anyone else for that matter – to that standard, since we each have different ideas about what success looks like.
What matters is that each of us knows our own definition. Letting everyone choose their own measure is a nice way to live and let live (i.e. allow).
How do you know when you’ve arrived? What indicates your achievement?
If I know anything, it’s that striving for someone else’s definition of success is a quick ticket to misery.
My idea of success:
- Waking up looking forward to the day
- Feeling good about myself and how I spend my time
- Laughing, Enjoying, Appreciating
- Being true to myself
(That’s certainly not how I always measured it, though! I remember when what mattered was how many people approved of and accepted me, how many credentials and promotions I had on my resume, what my credit score was and how many men I could capture the hearts of. Ugh, huh?)
Tell me YOUR definition of success. How do you know when you’ve really nailed it? What are the key things that having, doing or being allow you to call it a successful life?
I can’t wait to hear!