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How To Recognize & Release Attachment

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The vibration of attachment can spoil a lot of manifesting parties.

(Because when our signal is filled with “need,” that’s what we get more of.)

Here’s how to know if attachment to results is holding up your success, and if so, what to do about it.

  • May 9, 2016

The Antidote to Attachment

Appreciation: The Antidote To AttachmentConscious creators know that needing a certain outcome is a great way to make sure it doesn’t manifest.

Because “need” is the opposite vibrational instruction of “have.” Which makes it a powerful vibe-kinker when it comes to getting what we want.

So what do we do when we realize we’re attached to getting a particular result?

Here’s a sure-fire antidote that works every time:


Finding something to appreciate or be thankful for – or even to enjoy – is guaranteed to shut down the attachment frequency.

It doesn’t matter whether we get there by appreciating something in the present moment (whether related or unrelated to our desire), or remembering something from our past to be thankful for, or flowing advance gratitude for our manifested desire, or just turning attention to something enjoyable …

… however we can get dialed in on appreciation or happiness, it breaks the signal that’s holding up our desires and cues Universe to get busy delivering the goods.

So the next time you’re feeling:

  • hung up about getting that job offer
  • or anxious about hearing news from the doctor
  • or wondering how to get the house sold
  • or anything else that feels like your well-being is dependent on it,

just remember to give yourself a break from feelings of attachment and turn your attention to something you love. Revel in a couple of nice thoughts about how life already is good, and you become a much better match to getting what you want.

Here’s how TUT put it:

Often the sooner you can be happy without “it,” the sooner you will be happy with “it.” We call it the Reverse Law of Desires.

And with that we need never feel stumped about managing attachment again.

PS – if you’re not sure whether attachment is getting in the way of your dream come true, take the attachment quiz here.

  • February 20, 2016

Q&A: When You Really Need It?

How to Manifest Something You Really Need?Conscious creators are well taught about what a vibe-kinker “need” and attachment are.
Which is why it’s wise to drop the need whenever we realize it’s in play.
This last week a couple readers have asked the same question that goes something like this:
But what about when you really need it?
One example is a woman two weeks away from being homeless. She’s in a constant state of worry, sobs every day about her predicament, and has had no success in her fundraising or money making efforts.
When she hears my advice to drop the need, it falls very flat.
Her specific question is:

When it’s a case of survival, how do you detach from the outcome and keep your vibration up?

Another reader reports that a critical lifestyle change depends on her ex-husband’s cooperation, and that without his agreement nothing happens. (Moving to another state with the children.) So she really truly needs his consent, she writes.
Another reader’s dire situation also involves financial necessity … his company is on the verge of bankruptcy if he doesn’t get an injection of cash asap.
So guys, the question is to you:
What would you advise a fellow creator in a desperate situation who can’t see a way to drop the “need”?

  • August 2, 2015

Hands Off the Hows

Hands off the HowsConscious creators are reminded time and again not to worry how our dream will unfold, but rather just to focus on the end result we desire and let Universe do the work.
But I’ve seen another way we sometimes handicap our success – which is by focusing on the end result we think will make us happy.
Sometimes that focus becomes yet another “how” that muddies the water of our highest satisfaction and joy.
For example …

I know someone who didn’t like their daughter’s new boyfriend, wishing he would make a swift exit from the family. Sure enough he did, and took his girlfriend with him. (That was not what they wanted.)

I know someone else who intended massive traffic to her site, which she got. But it wasn’t relevant traffic, so she had virtually no sales or signups and her bounce rate went though the roof.

I know another person focused on manifesting money, was very successful in doing so, but shortly after experienced a heartbreaking betrayal by his life partner. The money was little solace as his world seemed to fall apart.

What each of these manifestors has in common is using their creative powers to conjure the details of a reality they thought would make them happy – rather than focusing on happiness itself.
I’ve done it many times myself … when I thought I’d be happy if I could just make this coaching thing work, if I could just lose 5 more pounds, if my cat would just get better, etc. etc.
We can be such micro-managers of our happiness, can’t we? Thinking that if we could just get that one thing that’s missing, then life will be good.
But it doesn’t work that way.
Abraham, Mike Dooley, Bashar and plenty of other LOA teachers tell us to keep our hands off the hows – and instead focus on how we want to feel.
In doing that we target our true desire, which allows Universe to do a stellar job of sorting out the details that best match those high vibrations. (Guaranteed it knows an even better way to delight you than you’ve got in mind.)
That’s how we avoid creating results that may or may not ultimately enhance our satisfaction and joy in life.
And having said that, I know that sometimes the best way for us to feel what we want to feel is by focusing on a specific potential “result.”

As in, it’s easier to feel excited about a new romance when you imagine seeing the handsome stranger for the first time, or it’s easier to feel financial freedom when you pretend you’ve quit work and are planning a dream trip to Italy.

If that’s the case for you, just remember to use those specific details as a way to enhance your feeling state; not to require that particular thing to unfold. It truly makes all the difference in the world.

  • February 25, 2015

The Attachment Test

Take the Attachment TestHow to know if attachment is spoiling your manifesting game?
Here’s a quick quiz to help you know whether your manifesting process could benefit from some “letting go” practices.
It’s easy to believe our happiness or well-being depends on certain outcomes – like becoming financially stable, recovering our health, finding a good partner, etc.
But whenever we think we have to have specific results before we’ll feel good, that spoils the party. That perspective tells Universe we “need” something to happen in order to be happy, and that’s a game without any winners.
Take this short test to see if attachment to your desire might be spoiling your results

Of the following groups of statements, choose whether statement A or statement B is more true for you:

A: I enjoy thoughts and visions of my dream, even before it manifests.
B: I engage thoughts and visions of my dream in order to manifest it.

A: I enjoy real life as it is now.
B: I’ll enjoy life when my dream materializes in real life.

A: It thrills me to see someone else who has what I want.
B: It frustrates me to see when someone else has what I want.

A: I don’t work too hard at making this dream come true.
B: I work really hard to make my dream come true.

Scoring: if you answered all As, you’re probably not hindered by attachment. Congrats on your alignment!
If, on the other hand, you’ve got a couple Bs sprinkled in there, it might be time to get straight with how the system works.
Conditioning our emotional state on external things is not how we achieve alignment – and alignment is what it’s all about.
There’s nothing wrong with desire – having a dream is what fuels a life that just gets better! It’s when we hold out on happiness until we achieve that dream that we run into trouble.
The bottom line is that if you can honestly say you’ll be happy whether this dream materializes or not, you’re probably not attached.
This excerpt from Hammered ‘s main character Atticus sums up the concept well (he’s addressing his dog Oberyn, thus the bone metaphor):

It is good to have a dream so long as you don’t let it gnaw at the substance of your present. I have seen men consumed by their dreams, and it is a sour business. If you cling too tightly to a dream … then you miss the felicity of your heart beating and the smell of the grass growing …
Your dream should be like a favorite old bone that you savor and cherish and chew upon gently. Then, rather than stealing from you a wasted sigh or the life of an idle hour, it nourishes you, and you become strangely contented by nostalgia for a possible future, so juicy with possibility that you feel full when you’ve eaten nothing. And when the time is right, you bite down hard. The dream is yours. And then you chew on the next one.

As I succinctly learned from Abraham: the sweet spot for manifesting is to be happy with what is and looking forward to what’s next.
When you’re there, you can be sure attachment isn’t holding up your expanded good life.
If you’d like help troubleshooting lackluster manifesting results, check out this post and this one.

  • April 1, 2014

Want It Good or Want It Bad?

good vs badIt’s true that strong desire and strong belief are essential components to swift manifesting, but is it possible for our desire to become so strong it actually holds up the process?
It’s easy to conclude that’s the case, when seeing that things we want the most also seem to be the things that take the longest to arrive.  And things we care about the least get here the quickest.
It’s enough to make someone ask wth?!
That may have been my client’s question this weekend when I asked her to get her attention OFF of her desire and focus on something – anything – that felt good instead.  Because her long-held desire was no longer a friendly topic.
Sometimes we get to the point where our desire is infused with a yearning, frustrated or impatient type energy that clouds the picture.
Anyone else not felt that at some point in time?  Where you want something SO BAD you’re ready to shoot daggers at the next person who has it?  Or you want to wring the neck of the next LOA guru who says all you have to do is allow it in?
I’ve been there.  And that’s how I know that feeling that way does not helpIt does not help to want something that bad.  Because by the time you get to that state of mind, you’re flowing contrary energy that slows Universe’s delivery of it to a crawl.
This is where it’s helpful to recognize it is possible to hold strong desire for something while still being happy without it.  To want something while not needing it to unfold in order to be satisfied.  To have a big fat dream way out in front, but at the same time finding complete delight and fulfillment with life as it is now.
That’s what it’s like to want it good.  Pure, clean desire; free of doubt, fear, frustration and attachment.  It’s the space of enjoying what is, while still having a conscious recognition that what’s coming next will be even more fabulous!
There’s no “pushing against” what is, and very little (if any) time spent noticing it’s not here yet.
Because it doesn’t matter if it comes or not – life is good anyway.  There’s no need for it to happen, because we’re not making the realization of the desire conditional upon feeling good.  We feel good now!

As shared by Abraham, pure desire feels confident and positive, as in: “I want it, I got it, it’s coming, I know it.”
While yearning sounds like: “I haven’t had it, but I’ve really wanted it, and I’ve done the work, and it hasn’t come yet, but I know it will, I know it will, I know it will, … it hasn’t come yet, I’ve written it down, I’m really getting sick and tired of this, I’ve wanted this my whole life, it’s not fair that he has it …”  (One of my all time favorite Abe tracks!)
Wanting something with pure desire feels fresh and light and free and frisky.  When you talk about you get a rush that feels good.  When you want something you’ve begun to doubt, it feels like work.
When you feel that “work” feeling creeping in, it’s time to remember to want it good, not want it bad.
My favorite way to redirect when I’m wanting it bad?
Remember that there’s plenty going right already.  There’s more to enjoy in this present day reality than I could even count.  But I’ll start counting anyway just to prove it to myself: strawberries, cats, Bella Foster artwork, chocolate, Christmas lights, warm purple sweatshirts fresh from the dryer, pink sparkly pens, modern plumbing, nice neighbors … get the idea?
When we combine this genuine and strong appreciation for life as it is right now with the pure desire of what’s caught our fancy next, we’re home free.

  • December 16, 2009

Guest Post: Col McGunnigle

Boy, do we have a great line-up of guest posts coming!  Thank you, everyone, for your fabulous contributions!

This week’s guest post comes from our very own Col McGunnigle.  Check it out and see why I love her style so much!

“Where’s My Stuff?”

ColIn a world where we can be, do or have absolutely anything we want (you can! you can!) … when is it manifestation (rah rah!) and when is it materialism (yukky poo poo)?

I wondered that ever since I got my new car … this adorable little convertible … which prompted me to say, “Oooh, I LOVE this car!”

Which immediately sent shivers down my spine.

“I LOVE this car? I LOVE a car??”

Something about that didn’t seem quite right. Well, it took me all of a year (with a little help from Joe Nunziata) to figure it out.

I’ve come to the conclusion that the answer is in the attachment.

Joe says, “Don’t go to an external (a car) for an internal (happiness).”  Just doesn’t work that way, folks!

Ask yourself these questions:

  • Am I too attached to the how?
    Are you micromanaging the universe? Get super-clear about what you want and then let go of how it will come about. Don’t keep scampering into the kitchen over and over again to tell the chef how to do his job or opening up the oven obsessing over whether it’s done yet. Put in your order and let go.
  • Do I think this thing is going to make me happy?
    Leads to over-the-horizon syndrome. Happiness is just over the horizon and you’re not happy ‘til you get there. Know what? When you get there you may notice … Hey! There’s ANOTHER horizon! And another. And another.
  • Do I value this thing over all others?
    Some nice little lady dings your beautiful new car and y’get all upset. Whoa! It’s a car, people! The poor lady is beside herself with apologies and she feels terrible. So which is more important, the car or the human being?
  • How do I feel?
    Once you toss something into your vibrational escrow, are you goin’ around feeling enthusiastic about it or bemoaning the fact that it’s not here yet? Cuz if you’re in bemoaning mode, I got news for ya … you’re keeping it away!

Manifestation is a result of your inner world. If you expect things outside of yourself to make you happy, it’s a carrot dangling in front of your nose. Running, running, running and never getting there! Funny thing is … if you look inside and get busy gettin’ happy, the external world begins to flow.

What are your thoughts on manifestation vs. materialism?  Share away below!

Col2About Col:

Colleen McGunnigle is a designer who creates inspiring imagery for people who’d like their spirit to shine through in their logo or on their web site, to instantly attract their ideal client. At Life by Muse, she shares the discoveries along her journey … insights, tips and tricks … with YOU! 

Inspired Life: http://www.lifebymuse.com
Inspired Design: http://www.designbymuse.com

  • October 2, 2009