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The Dreaded LOA Question

You might know this routine …

You’ve got your LOA groove on, dialed onto what you want, seeing your future success, feeling how it feels – everything we’re supposed to do to signal Universe that we’re a match for this desire.

All systems are go.

And then some well-meaning loved one asks, “How’s it going?”

They don’t realize that asking us to report on what’s happening is like someone dragging the needle in the middle of Beethoven’s Fifth. Or finding a bandaid in your bite of chocolate cake.

Answering that question can ruin the rhythm and distract our focus in a way that slows down (or even blocks) our desire from manifesting.

Unless things are going great right now. In which case it’s a fabulous question to answer!

It gives us a chance to revel in the good vibes and attract even more good stuff.

But when present reality is NOT great …

When we’re still in the early stages – or even the late stages where not much seems to be happening or going our way – it can be a brutal question!

Because this stage of manifesting can be a vulnerable time, and because taking score too soon doesn’t help. Reporting on the current state of our reality isn’t usually helpful.

So here are five ways to manage the dreaded LOA question, when a well-meaning friend asks for a status report on our dream:

1. Answer a different question.

Instead of answering how things are right now, you can answer a slightly different question that has a dramatically different vibration.

Maybe instead of telling how it’s going you could share:

  • What I’m enjoying now is …
  • What I’m looking forward to soon is …
  • A recent win I’m celebrating is …
  • Reasons to believe things are going my way include …

Just because they asked for a rundown of present reality doesn’t mean you have to give it. Answer a more helpful question instead.

2. Deflect the question.

Sometimes the easiest thing to do is not answer at all.

Instead, just nod and smile and ask how things are for them.

Changing the subject may be your best option, especially with folks who like to talk about themselves.

You can always explain why you’re not talking about the current status of your project if it feels appropriate.

3. Train them to new questions.

Speaking of explaining, you might save yourself a lot of trouble by just training your people how to better engage you on this sensitive subject of your dream creation.

You can offer suggestions as to how they can more supportively express interest in your project.

You can even ask them to refrain from engaging on this subject unless YOU initiate.

It may help to explain that talking about “what is” isn’t very helpful, and that you’re keeping things to yourself in the meantime.

Let them know they’ll be the first to hear your good news when you’re ready to share.

4. Script your answer.

This is my personal favorite, if the situation warrants it.

Instead of telling how it is, tell it how you’d rather it be!

It won’t be appropriate for every occasion or conversation, but there are many times when this is a good chance for us to practice what our success sounds like when shared with another person.

5. Answer Half Full

Look, we’re conscious creators – we’re skilled at seeing what’s going right.

This is a great chance to answer the question with the parts that are working out. Even if they’re slim parts …

  • “I’m getting good clarity about what works and what doesn’t …”
  • “I’m learning how to do things I’ve never done before …”
  • “I’m cooking up a heck of a rags to riches story!”

Anything that lets you focus on the positive while still answering the question will serve you and your manifesting success.

Indeed, answering the “how’s it going” question can be a good exercise for YOU to train your attention toward what’s working.

And worst case scenario … you don’t have to answer at all. “Nunna yur bizness” is a valid answer, too.

If you’ve got other tips for answering the dreaded LOA question, we’d love to hear them.

(Listen to this episode at the podcast.)

  • August 4, 2017

What's Real, Anyway?

realityI have to admit that although I pride myself on being open to new possibilities (and thus new realities), there are some things that even I take for granted

For example, that microwaved food is not healthy.  And that deep breathing is.  That sleeping with the tv on is not a good habit, and that giving to charity is.
I mean, there are some things we can always count on, right?  Those things are the “givens” in our world.  It’s what we KNOW.
Sometimes, though, what we KNOW doesn’t serve us.  And when that’s the case, it’s important to remember that nothing’s set in stone.
Lately, it seems, there’s been a lot of evidence that reminds me to question what I “know.”
Including Garrett Gunderson’s Killing Sacred Cows, where he says many things we financial planners were taught as rock solid truths actually don’t serve the average investor. 
Gunderson’s argument was so convincing that I started rethinking investment principles I’ve assumed true for decades.  (Including that regular savings, added up over time, benefiting from the power of compound interest growth, is a super solid investment strategy.
Maybe, maybe not.
My world was turned even more upside down after reading an article outlining several important medical benefits from indoor tanning.  (Health benefits from tanning beds?!  I gotta say I like it!)
Late last year I heard a very credible doctor tell me the best way to lose weight was to get more sleep.  (Which fit perfectly with the “I lose weight while I sleep” mantra I’d just created.) 
Fellow coach Zoe Routh recently introduced me to a resource designed to improve health by correcting the “over oxygenation” most people experience. 
There’s such a thing as too much deep breathing??   
Is nothing sacred?
Apparently not.  Last year I was talking to a highly esteemed scientist (his title too complex to remember right), and he said that there is no real evidence that microwaves are  bad for us.  I’d chalk him up to crazy, if I hadn’t recently heard that 31,000 scientists have signed their name to a petition denying global warming.
What about eating salads, right?  We all know leafy greens are good for us – the more the better!  “A salad a day” was what I was taught to strive for. 
And yet, at the Chopra Center’s “Perfect Health” week retreat, I learned through ayurvedic study of my imbalanced doshas that I needed to stop eating salads and instead eat heavier foods (like sour cream, guacamole, mm!). 
What else do we know for sure?  That terrorists attacked the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001?  Don’t be so sure.
Kim Falconer’s explanation of reality served to scramble even more ideas about what’s real and what’s not.  (Thanks for a scientific perspective I can understand, Kim!)
I don’t share these various examples to suggest we stop saving or recycling or exercising or breathing deeply, but rather to just to remind us to question what “realities” we’d change if we could.
Because, indeed, we can.

  • February 5, 2009