Conscious creators know that whatever we resist, we call toward us.
Not wanting something is like turning on a powerful magnet to make it happen.
The more we don’t want it, the stronger we magnetize it.
(Think cancer, terrorism, crooked politicians, etc.)
It’s why my girlfriend attracted weird guys and married men while I was having nothing but great romances.
It’s why my colleagues had issues getting paid when that was virtually an unheard of experience for me.
I just didn’t worry about it the way they did.
Anything we’re trying to avoid is having the opposite effect. It just activates it and calls it forth.
That’s why it’s worth engaging a different relationship with the things we don’t want.
Instead of resisting it, or even trying to make peace with it, I’m using a radical alternative:
Like it’s what I wanted all along. Like it’s the best thing that could have happened. Like this is Universe answering my best dream come true.
Because if you can approach it that way, it will become that for you.
Recently the IRS sent me a little letter asking for big money. (Except it wasn’t a request exactly. It was more of a “you will do this” notice.)
Which wasn’t my favorite thing, to say the least.
In fact, for years, I have nurtured resistance for this very experience. I knew it was there cooking all along – and I tried not to be afraid of it. But there it was, just the same.
Maybe it was an inherited fear, maybe a cultural one. Wherever it came from, it’s fair to say that the IRS is on my top 10 “don’t wants” list.
Which is, I’m sure, why they’re writing me. I was a big magnet for it due to how much I didn’t want it.
So to expect any sort of happy ending here, I knew I had to find a way to drop the resistance and make some peace.
With my usual techniques falling short (yes, it shifted it somewhat, but I could still feel the charge that was there), I turned to a more extreme approach for neutralizing resistance:
Live it like I picked it.
Engage this experience like it’s the best thing that could have happened. As if I chose it on purpose. As if talking to the IRS, having the privilege of being on their radar, is a dream come true. Like I just won the lottery. Like I’m the lucky girl they picked to talk to!
When I can approach it that way, things are bound to unfold better than when I was being dragged kicking and screaming into it.
It’s only my perception that this is a bad thing that makes it so.
When I’m willing to change my mind about it, the experience changes, too.
And this holds true for whatever we might be resisting – bad breakups, divorces, bankruptcies, losing our jobs, losing our homes, having cars stolen, etc.
In fact, I’ve heard Abe share how Esther, in the heat of contrast, will turn the vibe around by naming ten good things about it.
Could I name ten good things about getting this attention from the IRS? Well, I’m the best there is, so if anyone can do it, it’s me. (That’s my little pep talk to get good at this list-making challenge.)
What’s the good news about getting this letter from the IRS?
I was stretching by the time I hit #9, but that was easier than I thought!
This is helping me remember who I am and how I operate. There’s no such thing as a real problem unless I decide to make it one.
And in the big scheme of things, this is, as my dad would say, “Rich people problems.” This is not a real thing to worry about! (Not that anything is, but especially money!)
Sometimes we learn that best by actually going through it. As is apparently the case for me.
You’re invited to “live it like you picked it” the next time a big bad monster appears in your life. Remember who you are (eternal and divine) and how you roll (you’re a master).
You know how this system works and you’ve got good skills to bring to the party. Fear can be fun for a minute or two since it runs the whole expansion routine, but don’t let it get crazy on you.
You know too much to play it that way.
(That’s my truth pep talk for both of us.) 🙂
Those of us who have been trained to pay attention to our feelings and emotions sometimes get confused about whether it’s guidance or gremlins running the show.
For example, was it my intuition that told me I was in trouble in that hair stylists’ chair, or was it fear of change? (Or both?!)
This seems a good topic to cover, since having confidence in your decision-making skills is always helpful. Especially when fear seems rampant in the rest of the world.
So I wanted to pick your brains about how you tell the difference between fear and intuition.
To get the ball rolling, here’s what Michael Neill of www.genuiscatalyst.com wrote in a recent newsletter (edited for brevity):
The common sense/innate wisdom approach to life is nearly always available to us – but most of us spend so much of our time caught up in the whirlwind of our thought that we don’t notice it. And even when we do notice it, we’ll often ignore it hoping that our intellect can find a different answer more in keeping with what we hope will turn out to be true.
… nearly ever woman I’ve talked with who has come out the other side of a bad marriage has told me that she ‘knew’ not to marry the guy at some point before getting far enough down the aisle to say ‘I do’.
How to tell whether the “bad feeling” is inner wisdom or just fear?
– Wisdom often comes disguised as “common sense”, but in reality is extremely uncommon in usage.
– Wisdom is sometimes quiet but always clear
– Wisdom feels right, even if it doesn’t always feel good.
– Wisdom comes most often in the midst of inner quiet.
– Wisdom is always kind
Your wisdom is right there inside you, just waiting for you to allow it to guide you. You need only to be quiet and listen – when you relax into it, you’ll almost always know what to do.
Shell Tain of www.sensiblecoaching.com said in her September 29th issue of Money Knot:
Intuition is different from the charged emotion of fear. Intuition comes subtly and softly. Its tone is always neutral. An intuitive message may be negative, but the tone or delivery will always be neutral. If you are cranked up on the chemicals of fear you will not receive any messages from your intuition.
My best advice when you are in the fear based scary place is to not make any decisions or changes. Wait until you are in a calmer, clearer frame.
A couple years ago I wrote on the topic of how to tell the difference between Gremlins vs Guides:
What do you think? How do you know when fear’s in the driver’s seat versus when your intuition is in effect?
Would also love to hear real life examples of how you handle it!