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Choosing “Hell Yes”

How many times a day would you guess that you contemplate a new decision?

I’m talking about the daily choices that make up our moment to moment living, like …

  • Should I tune in for that webinar?
  • Should I make that phone call?
  • Should I get the dog groomed?
  • Should I respond to his text?
  • Should I take the freeway?

It can seem like an unending litany of mini-decisions from the time we wake up until we call it a night.

And most of the time we make those choices based on what makes logical sense (driven by our rational brain), or what’s least likely to upset someone else (driven by our “social self“).

But there’s a better way.

A way of decision-making that not only gives you more reliable guidance, but that also serves your alignment for more successful manifesting …

That is to only respond to the “hell yeses.”

We’ve all heard it before: “If it’s not a hell yes, it’s a hell no.” (Abraham quotes Alan Cohen for sharing that life wisdom gem.)

But practicing it can seem infeasible in real life.

After all, how many have a “hell yes” for going to work every day?

I sure didn’t.

That’s how I came to do work I really loved – by being willing to let myself off the hook for what I didn’t really want to do.

I didn’t have a hell yes for continuing my last relationship, but didn’t honor it until it became an obvious hell no. (Why did I make myself suffer so much before I went where I really wanted to go?)

That wouldn’t be the case if I lived according to the hell yes benchmark.

That’s just where I only follow whatever feels like a hell yes.

If I’m lukewarm about an option – if it makes sense logically, but I have to try to talk myself into it – then it is not a hell yes and does not pass the litmus test for engaging it.

If I have to contemplate whether I want to do it or not, that’s a sign that either gremlins are getting in the way of the decision, or that I just don’t have true joy fueling that option.

(And for a lot of folks, there isn’t truly a “hell yes” for skipping out on work, either.)

It’s worth finding our way to what feels most joyful, most inspired, most yes-like!

It’s sort of a dance, finding our way through all our various options, following only the ones that feel the very best.

Which just means we consistently head in the direction of our highest joy.

Bashar tells us the reliable formula for success is to follow our highest excitement, however far we can from where we are now, until we can’t take it any further, then just follow our next highest excitement. All the while having no expectation of results.

A friend just phoned asking if I wanted him to stop at the hardware store to pick up a new door that I wanted installed.

It’s a gorgeous spring day, you guys. I mean it’s really pretty out there! Sadie and I have been eyeing each other for the past hour about heading out for a little hike!

But I really do want that new door installed.

And here’s a good friend offering to do it now.

Hmm …

It was hard to decide until I told him about the post I was writing. “If it’s not a hell yes, it’s a hell no.”

We didn’t even need to say another word, that’s how obvious it was. He’s grabbing his hiking shoes and headed over to join us for a walk in the mountains!

See how easy decisions get when we use Hell Yes gauge? If having a door installed were a hell yes, I wouldn’t even have to think about it.
It wouldn’t even be up for debate.

He would have asked, and I would have shouted, “Yes! Thank you!”

But I didn’t. I thought well yes, it makes sense to have that done now. Yes, it would be smart to get that handled while I can. Yes, it’s super nice of him to offer.

And yes, some other day!

Because today has dog walk in the mountains written all over it!

And so we go.


Here’s the thing – if you’re not already living this way, it’s easier than you think.

Because you don’t really have a “hell yes” for something that you believe leads to disaster. So you can trust whatever feels better.

And sometimes nothing feels like a hell yes, because we’re far away from that level of joy. But just following the thread of what feels better will get us back in good vibrational territory.

Sometimes using a “solid yes” is a helpful threshold to use (for those who feel like nothing meets the standard of “hell yes”).

Regardless, the more you follow your inner guidance, the easier it gets, and the better life unfolds.

Bashar’s right about how it’s a magic manifesting formula that leads us straight into the good life of dreams come true.

But please don’t take my word for it. Put it to the test yourself!

  • March 17, 2017

Pulling the Plug on Fun?

Deliberate creators know two things:

  1. how important it is to be happy, have fun, and enjoy (i.e. get in the vortex) and
  2. how often life presents challenges to do so.

Case in point:
My ex called last night to report one of his cats missing. Turbo escaped through a basement door inadvertently left open, and despite late night hours of searching, calling, and checking with neighbors, the adventurous feline hasn’t been spotted.
Verrall was worried. His anxiety-filled words to me: “Turbo’s gone.”
He recapped all the desperate action he’d taken to try to bring him home.
I told him to relax and let that cat come home after his big adventure is over.
I reminded him Universe can’t deliver “found” while you’re so strongly dialed on “lost.”
“So relax.”
He did one better … and went jet skiing for the day.
When I heard that he was spending the day at the lake, I judgmentally thought, “Well, I might have stayed home to open the door for the guy when he shows up” – but the truth is you can’t deny the power of having fun to get what you want.
Which was interesting because I had just begun writing this post about when we justify pulling the plug on fun.
I’m talking about the situations we resign ourselves to going through despite the fact that it is absolutely no fun.

  • Like taking those phone calls from family and/or friends that don’t feel appropriate to ignore.
  • Or doing the household chores that simply have to be done.
  • Or going to jobs we detest.
  • Or doctor visits we don’t look forward to.
  • Or life events like funerals, protest campaigns, PTA meetings and such.

There are some things in life we have come to expect that simply have to be done or gotten through even though there isn’t an iota of fun or happiness in it for us.
Which is pretty ridiculous when we understand the role that our energy plays in how life unfolds.
Because anything that isn’t a good time isn’t taking us where we want to be.
And yet we still do it sometimes, don’t we?
The last time I did it was when I (believed I) had to phone the tree spray company to find out what they did to make four bushes die in the backyard. I wasn’t looking forward to the call; I didn’t want to argue about who was at fault and how they were going to fix it; and I certainly didn’t enjoy looking at the struggling plants.
I put the call off for several couple weeks, waiting for a more appealing option to reveal itself, but that didn’t happen. So I finally bit the bullet and made the call.

That might be a sign! Any time we feel like we’re biting the bullet, maybe we should skip it altogether – or at least re-think it to get on a better vibe!

Anyway, as expected, it wasn’t the most pleasant phone call of my week. I had to be annoyingly insistent that they send someone out. Which they reluctantly agreed to do at the beginning of the week.
Which gave me time to realize how un-fun I was making this whole experience.
Luckily, by the time the guy showed up I had committed to having fun in this experience.
I intended we have a good conversation and that I felt treated like gold, which is exactly what happened.
Their guy explained how our extremely wet spring allowed for more fungus growth than usual, which two bushes were falling victim to. He explained to me how he knew that, and it made perfect sense. He also explained what was happening to the other two bushes, which had nothing to do with spray treatments.
We joked a little bit about how I had no idea what could have done them in other than his company. He was very sweet about it! He let me pick his brain for thoughts about a couple of other things in the yard (a bare spot in the lawn, an evergreen with spider mites), for which he generously shared resources and tips. It was a fun conversation!  (And for those of you who know about my handsome man vibration – yes, he was cute, too.)
So here I had believed that calling to complain about service wasn’t fun. And I very easily left that element out of this equation, because we KNOW that sort of thing isn’t any fun.
That’s worth questioning.
And if we really can’t find the enjoyment in it, then it’s worth questioning that we do it.
Because the bottom line is that if it’s not fun, or we if we can’t find some enjoyment in it, why do it? Abandoning the enjoyment is an upstream journey and we all know everything we want is downstream!
I also believe it’s possible to find the fun in just about anything once we intend it.
So let’s not be so quick to pull the plug on fun.  Because the truth is skipping the fun, enjoyment and happiness is like taking the long road to our happy ending.
And we know better than that.  😉
UPDATE: Turbo returned home on his own just before midnight on the day my ex went jet-skiing. Yay!

  • August 22, 2010