When we’ve been working on a particular desire for a while, especially if we’ve been working hard instead of working aligned, it’s not unusual to find ourselves exhausted and discouraged.
That’s when the idea of giving up might start to appeal.
Many of us have been socially trained to overcome that impulse, and to carry on no matter what.
But the truth is when it feels like relief to give up the battle, it’s not a defeat.
Guidance from your inner being that knows a better way to get there than the path you’ve been taking.
It doesn’t mean your dream isn’t going to happen. It just means the way you’ve been going about it can be improved on.
And it starts with giving yourself a break. With taking a respite from the struggle to make it happen.
When we deny that inspired call, we delay the manifestation.
So the next time you feel like giving up on something, maybe do that. Don’t consider it a failing, consider it a success that you realized where the relief was and you gave it to yourself.
Because relief equals alignment.
After you’ve had a break, you’ll get another instruction from guidance that you can follow when it’s time. But don’t be surprised if you find your dream made good progress while you were having a nap.
That’s what happened to Abigail Steidley after she worked herself into a state of exhaustion, and literally couldn’t do anything but lay down for five days. Much of what she’d been working so hard for happened after she gave up and did nothing.
It’s the whole premise behind slacker manifesting (coined by Abigail).
To further my point, this post is categorized under “Manifesting Techniques,” because releasing struggle is a powerful manifesting prompt!
So if it feels like relief to throw in the towel and give up feelings of frustration, overwhelm, etc., that’s likely exactly what your dream needs you to do next.
When giving up feels better, it is not a failure. It is an instruction from your higher self pointing the way to your success.
Some of us in LOA world wonder how (or even whether) the spiritual teachings of surrendering work with conscious creation.
Manifestors know we can create our reality by focusing on what we prefer.
Yet there is much spiritual wisdom about accepting reality without resistance and surrendering to God’s will.
How does that fit in with conscious creation?
Can just saying yes to life go hand in hand with manifesting what we prefer?
Remember my massage therapist who just let herself “fall into it” when she got fired and had no money to pay rent? She had no resistance to what was happening.
It was a huge lesson to me on the power of allowing.
So I know that letting go is an integral part of a manifestor’s skill set.
Yet when Amina Makhdoom invited facebook friends to a month-long practice of saying yes to whatever life presents (replicating Singer’s surrender experiment), I immediately thought of my ex’s booty call invitation. And the boss who recently suggested I return to the fold in corporate world.
Neither of which I had any interest in. To say the least.
Was she asking that I surrender and say yes to the things I have absolutely no personal preference for? Because that’s not my idea of a good time.
Which is why I asked Ruby Gangadharan her thoughts. (Ruby is a student to the yoga sutras, a life coach, deliberate creator, and ashtanga yoga practitioner.)
Here’s what Guru Ruby had to say …
Deliberate creation is the process of using the universal law of ‘like attracts like’ to willfully call into your reality things you desire.
Surrendering is the process by which you release any active part in creating your reality and let the universal forces play out what they know is best for you.
At first glance, these might seem like they are in stark opposition to each other.
One is active and offers control while the other does not. They are in fact, different sides to the same coin.
Surrendering requires you to trust in a higher power. The premise is that the higher power knows what’s best for you and will provide you with opportunities and resources to help you live out your destiny.
Looks like you are giving up the control isn’t it?
But let’s question what this higher power is …
Deliberate creators reference ‘the source.’ We say we are the extension of that source energy. It is infinite; it guides us and creates a reality that is a vibrational match to us. Doesn’t this sound familiar to the higher power referenced in surrendering?
But how can you create the reality that you want when you ask me to surrender and say yes to all that comes my way?
You can because even when you surrender it’s your higher self that is sending opportunities your way.
Your higher self is still a point of attraction that knows what it desires and what’s its purpose is.
In Law of Attraction you are told of concepts such as ‘universal manager’ and the techniques of letting go, releasing resistance, and following the downstream flow. These are all techniques that draw from the core concept of surrender.
Surrender does not mean you go out to seek your next action. This is not about you finding the next thing to do. It is also not about saying yes to everything in the hopes that it will bear fruit.
Surrendering is about you keeping yourself aligned in a mental state of peace and being present to the Now.
And if a situation shows up that requires your attention, you do your part without attachment to the outcome, without either liking or disliking it for what it is and without losing your alignment and peace of mind.
This next thing is the important part that goes with the practice of surrender …
When you start the practice of surrender, you should engage in some regular practice of energy alignment or energy purification. (Michael Singer used regular meditation to maintain a steady state of mind). This is one example; you can choose an energy alignment practice that brings you to a steady state of mind (i.e. being in the vortex).
You have to find a practice which brings you into alignment with the source, brings you clarity and lifts your energy.
So if you find that by surrendering, situations show up that you don’t want or you aren’t sure how they will help; look at them as an indication of the vibrations that are active within you.
That will guide you in your alignment practice; either to release resistance or to realign or to seek more clarity.
To conclude, surrender is not different from the deliberate creation process. It is, in a lot of ways, its duality. Surrender is a philosophy (concept) and like every other concept out there, it can be used to best serve our growth.
This next bit is a Q&A exchange Ruby and I had via email.
I’m including it here (with permission) to help flesh out this subject …
Jeannette: So Ruby, are you saying that if I had a stronger alignment practice or purer energy, I wouldn’t be propositioned by my ex or invited back to a corporate job?
Ruby: There is a reason why proposition from the ex and running into an old boss has come to pass. There are two ways to look at this; a) there is a resistant energy towards those scenarios which is playing out (namely, a strong ‘not wanting to’ towards a corporate job and sleeping with an ex). What we resist persists.
Meditation (or whatever is your tool to release resistance) will help you emotionally detach from the outcome of these specific scenarios. Until you hold such a strong NO preference to sleeping with an ex, please expect ‘booty calls.’ 🙂
Does this help move you to the next level and explain surrender?
Jeannette: I think I have a different definition of surrender. Mine is more like … I can accept that life is presenting these things. I’m not resisting the presentation of them. (I get it’s in response to my vibration.)
But I can still honor my personal desires without feeling like I’m not ‘surrendering’ to life by doing so. To do anything else feels directionless and dishonoring of who I am.
Ruby: Surrender is really the next level to LOA’s releasing resistance. Things will continue to happen to us while we realign, release resistance. The practice of surrender comes handy while we move on with our life as our new vibrations take hold. Taking action without attachment to the outcome.
Explain that last statement, ‘… honor my personal desires without feeling like I’m not ‘surrendering’ to life by doing so.’ Do you think surrender means to give up?
Jeannette: saying yes to an invitation I don’t prefer (that would actually be in direct opposition to what I’m consciously creating) does feel like giving up my personal desire and my manifesting rights (let alone skills).
If something already is (in my reality) I know resisting it is insane. But sex with an ex or working a job I don’t want aren’t my present reality. The invitations are, but every part of my inner being says “not that way.” My inner being says run your own show! (Working for myself is elation! I love it!) And it also says, don’t sleep with that guy any more. There’s no elation in that proposition.
If the conscious creator way is to head in the direction of what feels better, then I am definitely not headed for corporate work or booty calls. Right? I’d be crazy not to listen to that inner guidance.
Ruby: Surrender doesn’t mean going against your core values, beliefs or purpose. It’s more about practicing detachment from the outcomes of our actions.
Seems to me you are on the right track of finding your own practice of surrender with or without you agreeing to the ‘definition.’
This Q&A with Ruby will likely continue in the comments, where you’re invited to join in.
Thanks in advance for your input on what can seem like a challenging marriage of concepts – for some of us. 🙂
I have to admit, sometimes the homework assignments clients get from me might seem a little strange.
If anyone heard them out of context, they might question my sanity.
(Or a client’s, for taking it on.)
But when it comes to managing our vibration, sometimes strange things are the perfect remedy.
Take, for example, Todd (not his real name) who found out the hard way that his fiance was having a relationship on the side.
With his landlord.
(Not that it feels any better when it’s a total stranger, but still …)
Todd, who was very law of attraction savvy, knew that dwelling in anger and resentment would just attract more negative results into his life.
So he was doing his very best to practice acceptance, understanding and forgiveness.
Until I got my hands on him.
I asked him to entertain a couple of satisfying revenge fantasies before he picked up acceptance and understanding again.
My request was met with confused silence.
“Don’t you just want to see them really regret their actions?” I asked. Still with the silence.
“Wouldn’t it be delicious to see her realize that screwing up this relationship was the biggest mistake of her life?”
“And to have an absolutely drop dead gorgeous girl on your arm – who’s wearing an even bigger diamond than she got – next time you run into her?”
Silence now interrupted by an irreverent giggle.
“And that their sex life is in the toilet once it’s not ‘naughty’ any more?” Now there was full on laughter.
That’s what we’re looking for. Relief!
Not noble aspirations and nice lip service to the “right” vibes – but something that truly helps us feel better right now in real life.
(And in real life, revenge fantasies work surprisingly well.)
For those of you who can get straight to understanding and acceptance, hats off to you!
For the rest of us, entertaining anger or holding vengeful thoughts or feeling deep resentment is perfectly appropriate and immensely helpful. We’re not going to live there, just using it as a stepping stone for our vibrational progress.
* * * * * * * *
Then there was the client who worried about losing her business through bankruptcy. She’d hired me because she believed an alternate outcome was possible if she could just wrap her mind around something different and better. She was just having trouble getting there on her own.
In our launch session I asked her to get okay with bankruptcy before she started entertaining new possibilities.
“What?!” she exclaimed (with the tone of a person who just realized she hired a crackpot). “That’s exactly what I don’t want, exactly what I can’t stop worrying about, and exactly the reason I hired you to help me get a new result in mind!”
And everyone knows, she went on to tell me, that you get what you think about – so why in the world would she purposely think about bankruptcy?!
I suggested that as long as she strongly didn’t want this particular outcome, she was on a direct collision course for it. We needed to make peace and clear the negative charge before she could turn that magnet off.
“I hire you to avoid bankruptcy and you tell me to get okay with it.”
“That’s going to help me avoid it?”
Well, only if you really get okay with it, I told her.
You can’t pretend to get okay with it in order to avoid it – you have to really truly make peace with bankruptcy. When you’re there, then we have a clean slate to start creating with.
(Hey, I don’t make the rules! I just work with them!)
(And one of the biggest rules is that what we resist, persists. So when we resist feeling angry, when we resist going bankrupt, – well, we know what happens next.)
* * * * * * * *
But one of my favorite unconventional homework assignments is for someone who is intent on creating an ideal relationship with a particular person who isn’t responding well.
(I’m laughing just thinking about it!)
That assignment is to go date a smokin’ hot someone else.
That one works for so many reasons I can’t even list them here! ha ha
Another one of my most cherished vibrational remedies (that isn’t often well-accepted) is to give up on what you want.
That one’s reserved for someone who has really got their panties in a twist about their desire. It is a last ditch effort, but it works wonders when we’re able to truly embrace it.
(And yes, I have practiced each of these remedies personally.)
I suspect I don’t have the corner on non-traditional vibe shifts. What have you all practiced that we might not find in typical LOA 101 textbooks?