Years ago when I balked at continuing work with my coach because I didn’t want to charge $1,000 on my credit card, she reminded me of the concept of good debt versus bad debt.
She said that investing in yourself is good debt. Which was not the rule I watched my parents live by: “don’t spend money you don’t have.”
And as a financial planner, I was taught lots of distinctions about what makes for good debt versus bad debt.
But it’s not that black and white.
For example, most folks would probably agree that these types of loans are good:
We’re pretty good at knowing the difference, right? Schooling, medical care, shelter, business investments … if you’re going to spend money you don’t have, that’s the right way to do it.
And money spent on ridiculous things like expensive vacations and vanity surgeries is bad debt, right? We all know we shouldn’t spend money we don’t have on depreciating assets or frivolous experiences.
But savvy deliberate creators know it’s not that simple.
The difference between good debt versus bad debt is how you feel about it. Not what it’s for.
Or even what it results in.
If I can borrow $100 from mom to blow it on the blackjack table in 20 fast minutes, but I love every minute of it and feel great about that spending before during and after – I’m in the vortex, baby. And that’s good.
And if I fund my brilliantly inspired dream with a small business loan that
… I’d have been better off doing something that wasn’t so negatively charged for me.
What we’re talking about is debt in the vortex versus debt out of the vortex.
My suggestion is you don’t just assume that money spent “this” way is good and money spent “that” way is bad. But rather pay attention to how this opportunity to spend makes you feel.
Key words: How You Feel. Not how it makes mom feel, or not what the hubby thinks about it. How it makes YOU. FEEL.
Joe Dominguez’s book Your Money Or Your Life taught me it’s okay not to want to a nicer house and bigger car if that’s not what I care about. If what matters to me is buying new books from the bookstore instead of borrowing from my local library, then that’s money well spent. For ME.
And if I find the most peace by mortgaging my house to pay for two hip replacement surgeries on an eight year old foster dog, guess what? No one else can label that irresponsible or emotional spending! That’s me in my vortex. And you can’t go wrong in there!
Which is also why I’d do well to reserve judgment for people who sink money into law suits against former loved ones, or friends who spend rent money on bookies, or family members who make cigarettes a higher priority than their dog’s arthritis pain pills.
Not just because technically it’s not my business, but because what matters about how we incur debt is the feeling, not the purpose.
In fact, when the purpose IS the feeling, we may find we have entirely new spending priorities along with much better results in life.
A colleague sent this article on why I should be upset about the increasing divide between the rich and the poor.
It’s not an uncommon message perpetuated by traditional thinking, so it felt good to go on record with why we should not feel “cheated, deceived or sickened” about the “stunning inequality” between America’s rich and poor.
Let’s start here …
Do you know someone who always seems to be struggling financially? Even when they get financial help from others?
Even if you don’t personally know someone like this, you’ve probably heard the stories.
In fact, I know a family like this. They are skilled at just getting by with very little to spare. Sometimes things get worse and they have to scramble to keep their head above water. Things rarely get better, and when they do it doesn’t last long.
Any “found” money that makes its way in to them (which is rare) is quickly used up on a new problem that appears.
When the patriarch of the family died last year, in lieu of flowers the 70 year old widow collected several thousand dollars from friends and family who knew she was in financial straits. The cash donations were a godsend now that she was living on her sole income and social security. (Yes, she still has to work at 70.)
I thought having a financial cushion was a nice change from what she was used to.
But before the month was out, all but $500 of it was gone. Not on hospital bills or other debt – but “taken” by a con artist who saw a widow at risk.
(She’s the last person I would expect to be duped by a scammer, but that’s what happened.)
Which is just one of Universe’s many creative ways of accommodating the “lack” money vibe this family’s been flowing.
Because if you’re not used to extra money you won’t allow it in your world for long (if at all) – no matter how much money the rest of us pour on in an effort to help.
In fact, now that I think of it, even my copy of Money and the Law of Attraction got lost over there! (Given as one of my efforts to help.)
Their experience of financial struggle has nothing to do with not wanting it or not working hard enough for it. (They’re the most hard working, conscientious, good hearted people I’ve ever met.)
The reason anyone continues the experience of not having money is simply because like attracts like.
And since we get what we vibrate, our “money inequality” is only going to get bigger as the poor pay attention to their poverty and the rich pay attention to their wealth.
It’s a function of the universal law of attraction, not our politics or economy or stingy rich uncle or whatever else we might blame it on.
And even if that weren’t the case, getting upset about anything doesn’t help change it. Resistance just makes the “problem” bigger.
This is why Abraham says the best way to to help someone in financial need isn’t to give them money, it’s to see them succeeding. Because that’s the missing ingredient – the vibrational alignment to money (or success), not the money itself.
It’s a key distinction.
Does that mean we’re all destined to experience more of what we already have, whether it’s poverty or wealth?
Only if we don’t change our focus.
If a wealthy person worries incessantly about losing it, their situation will change. And if a poor person focuses on abundance, theirs will change, too.
The trick is to get conscious and deliberate about where you put your attention, knowing that wherever you point it is what you attract. (I wrote a book on it.) If you don’t change what you pay attention to, you’ll get more of what you already have.
Which is what most people do and why our divide between classes is growing.
And I’m not even a Republican. 😉
I am, though, a deliberate creator who knows to put my attention on what I want more of.
Which is why I post articles like this – in support of a more conscious collective attention and a greater understanding of our power.
Here’s to that! 🙂
Universe can give whatever we ask; all we have to do is give the instruction that allows the solution and results in. Here’s a quick reminder of how all this deliberate creation with law of attraction stuff works:
She’s becoming more visible in the community, getting more requests for pro-bono work (to sit on non-profit boards, speak for free, etc.), has had some paying clients and is talking to three new prospects as well as preparing to present for a paid speaking gig, BUT …
… while she acknowledges learning tons about business and sales and has come far in many ways, she is still not where she wants to be.
She knows she’s capable of more, she believes her success is possible, and she asked that the Universe show her what she wants.
I felt a Jerry Maguire moment when I typed this response up:
Universe will SHOW YOU when you SHOW IT.
When you see it happening; when you envision your success; and even better, when you’re FEELING it –
– when you’re holding those pictures at least as often as you’re holding the pictures of it not happening (which is what we do when we pay attention to the reality we don’t like and worry about what might not happen in the future) – Universe will not only SHOW YOU what to do, but it will be your agent – connecting the dots and making things happen on your behalf.
Then you’ll soon be IN it.
Universe will show us the money when we show it what we want.
All we need to do is dial OFF of the reality we don’t want, and dial ON to the pictures and feelings and words of what we DO want.
We don’t mess with the hows or figure out how to make it happen or worry that it won’t.
We just give it the instruction (through what we’re focusing on and paying attention to) and then do what feels good.
Didn’t we get the easy part in this partnership? 😉
There’s a girlfriend I haven’t stayed in touch with who used to believe that once she had the right man in her life, everything would be as it should.
She believed once she had her right guy that her future would be secure, her children would behave better, her day job would become optional, someone else would mow the lawn, and her happiness level would go through the roof.
So she divorced her current husband to make room for a better one (certain that her current husband was her biggest problem in life), and eventually found a dream come true guy.
From what I can tell, this guy is fabulous: devoted, faithful, romantic, gorgeous, makes great money at a good job, treats her (and her family) like gold, was thrilled to marry her …
… and yet, this girlfriend is anything but the deliriously happy version of herself she imagined she’d be once Mr. Right showed up.
No surprise to us creators, right?
We know the fallacy of falling for the belief that something or someone will make us feel better.
(At least – on our good days, we remember.)
We know that responsibility for how we feel is strictly ours.
We’ve all seen what happens when someone hitches their wagon to the “circumstance” they think will bring them a “happily ever after” … either they spend their lives chasing the elusive dream that they never get lined up with – OR – they get it and are disappointed it’s not all it was supposed to be.
(Can you tell I’ve been there, done that? I know whereof I speak.)
But we don’t have to have lived this already to understand it. We know nothing happens that we’re not energetically lined up for, and that we are in charge of how we feel – it’s not dictated by our life circumstances.
Which is why I get a little irked every time I hear a deliberate creator talk about how excited they’ll be to win the lottery.
Before your feathers ruffle, let me clarify.
I have nothing against money. Especially big easy money.
I am, in fact, a huge fan of big easy money.
But I am not a fan of seeing powerful creators attach themselves to an outcome that can’t possibly happen when they think a winning ticket will “save their day.”
If you think your day needs saving, and you think the lottery can do that for you, you are forgetting how this all works.
The same way my girlfriend was nuts to think a different guy could change her life happiness, we are insane to believe that a windfall of cash will make us feel better.
Only YOU can make yourself feel better.
And when you feel better, guess what? You don’t care about winning the lottery!
Now, I have lots of colleagues and friends (including my fabulous Dad – Happy Father’s Day, Dad!) who play the lottery for fun.
I’m not talking about you guys.
I’m talking about the folks who pin their hopes and dreams on using the law of attraction to win the lottery and change their life forever the better.
The Universe can’t deliver what you’re not lined up for. So whatever you think a lotto win will do for you – you might want to bring that responsibility back home.
Because the lottery can’t make you happy, secure, free, or even rich. (And despite popular opinion, you don’t have to hear too many real life stories about lottery winners to know that.)
I’m also not saying winning the lotto is always an unhappy ending.
I’m just saying lotto money will do for you whatever you’re already flowing. (Which is why my girlfriend is her same old unhappy self with her fabulous new guy.)
Like Alexander Green quotes in The Secret of Shelter Island, “Money doesn’t change who you are, it magnifies who you are.”
So instead of intending to win the lottery, how about instead we intend to be happy? Since that’s all we want anyway!
How about instead of dreaming up winning numbers, let’s take a few moments to count how we’ve already won the lottery? (I got to be born here now! On a planet where the skies are blue and there are over 300 brands of chocolate! At a time where we have fabulously adventurous contrast to explore with the most amazing friends for the journey! I could go on, but soapboxes probably aren’t the best vibe …)
My point being that if you think the lottery can change your life for the better, you are mistaken. Only you can do that. And when you do do that (change your life for the better), you won’t be so attached to lottery tickets.
Yes, Dad, I know – unless you’re buying them for fun. I get it.
And the first person who posts here asking for tips on how to use law of attraction to win the lottery, I swear to God, I will make you read Money Mojo Magic or some other suitable reminder to get your money vibe straightened out once and for all.
(Although it is always fun to hear Abraham on this topic.)
While I am feeling feisty here, I am also totally open to seeing how I’ve got this wrong, if you care to share. Or if you think I haven’t stated the point clearly or strongly enough.
Next weekend is the Martha Beck coach convention in Keystone, Colorado, which I won’t be speaking at for reasons worthy of an LOA discussion.
You regular readers know that deliberate creation is my professional passion.
It’s what gets me excited about “work” and leveraging the law of attraction is how I’ve created success: by paying attention to how things feel and learning to manage energy in a way that lines me up for what I want.
So when Martha’s group asked me to speak on how coaches can create multiple revenue streams, I was thrilled! Who wouldn’t want multiple income streams?!
(Indeed, it was a topic I suggested they cover, since I see many coaches struggling as they rely solely on private client coaching income.)
But a potential scheduling conflict prevented me from confirming right away that I was available.
As I thought about it more, I realized I couldn’t deliver the presentation they wanted.
Because what they wanted wasn’t anything I knew how to do. At least, not in the way most people think about it.
Meaning, I couldn’t instruct people on what actions to take to make multiple income streams happen for their business.
I don’t know what those actions are! And even if I did, I’m smart enough to know it’s not the actions that make the difference.
Even though I have several revenue sources, I don’t know how people who don’t use LOA make that happen. I’ve no clue!
My experience in creating multiple money in-flows is this simple: “Do what feels good.”
And Martha Beck didn’t ask me for an LOA presentation on creating multiple income streams. Yet there isn’t any other way I could talk about it.
Because that’s exactly how it came together for me: feeling good along with an intention for big fat fun easy cash is how Universe hooked me up with all of it.
“Go have fun, let Universe connect the dots.” I don’t know how well that would land with a non-LOA audience. hee hee
Here’s what I did:
I didn’t “make any of that happen.” I don’t know where normal people go to get corporate coaching gigs – I went to Universe.
I don’t know how to properly run or participate in an affiliate program – I just do what feels good and money comes from it.
How do you get paid speaking gigs? Don’t ask me, I just said “yes” when asked. How did I get Catalyst to publish my stuff? Simple answer: I turned it in after they asked for it.
I just did my thing, purposely having a good time, paying attention to (and following) what felt good, and it all came together.
That’s my presentation on how to grow multiple income streams. Decide you want it, do what feels good and follow inspiration. Don’t sweat the “hows” or get caught up in figuring it out yourself.
It’s a short talk. And a highly effective practice.
You can apply it to anything you want, in fact. Relationships, jobs, new places to live, whatever else you can think of that you want.
Action is highly overrated for making things happen to get what we want. The more effective approach is vibration management.
And I’ll give that talk any day.