Not too long ago a love interest drove home the point that he was unhappy with me in some very specific ways.
That one hit hard.
Shortly after, a client expressed her displeasure with our work through an uncomfortable measure.
And then a colleague shared her frustration in how I was not handling things to her preference.
Now that I think about it, even my LOA Recon rave reviews seem a little thin lately.
If I weren’t LOA savvy, it would be easy to conclude I am astonishingly good at letting people down.
But I know what’s really afoot here … I just let the “they-don’t-like-me” vibe get a little out of hand. And when it rains, it pours. Because once a thing has momentum, it starts showing up everywhere.
In that first hit I adopted an unhelpful filter that’s coloring more and more interactions in life. It’s like wearing sunglasses that black out the positive and highlight the negative.
A savvy creator knows to put this sort of thing in check before it gets any more momentum.
I’m sharing the process in case you’ve also got an unenjoyable vibe gaining traction in your world, too …
1. I could shift attention to the love I am getting.
Which is easy to do, because I get way more accolades than gripes. Just takes a little commitment and discipline to refocus on the good.
2. I could let it be okay.
It’s a viable option to get comfortable with their discomfort, and not make it out to be a big bad deal. Not everyone is going to love you, Jeannette, and that’s okay.
Dropping resistance to what we don’t want is transformational!
3. I could check the originating source.
I know from experience that the more I approve of myself, the less likely I am to hear others’ disapproval.
(Although I love being able to practice loving myself even when others don’t. Which could be an indicator of an unconscious payoff, but my gut says that’s not it in this case.)
The first thing I did in each situation was make sure I’m okay with how I conduct myself. If I’m not good with it, it’s no mystery why I’d get that reflection from others.
So it could be that this feedback is a valuable indicator as to where I’ve fallen out of integrity with myself.
If there was anything to clean up, doing so could help turn this vibe around if I used it as a chance to create a new focus.
I know one thing for sure, I’m not in manifesting integrity with myself when I let this vibe go unchecked.
So my primary job is to not let this spiral be the boss of me. I can decide when I’ve had enough and put an end to it by changing my mind.
If you’ve got a pattern happening in life that you’re not a big fan of, it’s worth remembering you can turn it around, too.
All you have to do is be willing to shift your attention in a way that activates anything you like better.
There might be some feelings that want to be felt before you can dial off, but after that we know how this goes … we just activate the vibration of what we prefer.
We know that we get what we pay attention to. So if you’re not attending to something fabulous already, maybe join me in finding new thoughts, new images, better stories, positive evidence, or anything else that helps redirect focus.
Because we’re cool like that. We’re conscious creators. 🙂
The thing that takes many aspiring conscious creators out of the game is lack of quick results.
Their ability to hold the vision of what they want until reality morphs to match can be tenuous.
That’s why I’m often asked how to hold the faith until the dream comes true.
Here’s the thing …
When you’re truly vibrating what you want (before it’s happened), you don’t need patience.
When you know how to feel then how you’d feel now, you don’t have to hold the faith.
When you live as if you’ve already got what you wanted, you don’t have to fake it.
The ones who think patience is required are holding out on themselves. They’re still waiting for the big dream to unfold before they give themselves the goods.
Those goods being feeling good/happy/satisfied/relieved now.
When you’re really truly feeling good now, you don’t watch the clock (or the calendar) for how long it’s taking. Because you’re enjoying yourself.
You’re having a good time. You feel good about what’s going on in life.
And if you’re not, then you’re not in the kind of alignment you think you are.
Because patience isn’t required when we’re vibrationally aligned to what we want.
So the question isn’t, “How can I be more patient while waiting for it to happen?” The better question is, “How can I better align to what I want?”
And the simple answer to that is always to find a way to feel good (or at least better) now – in thought or action.
Because when you get happy now, time flies by and dreams come true without even trying.
So if you’ve been wondering how much longer you have to wait for your dream to come true, my suggestion is that you stop waiting and find a way to start enjoying. Waiting is not a vibrational cue that conjures the goods.
Enjoyment, happiness, satisfaction – that’s what cues the full fledged manifestations we always wanted.
I say it myself sometimes.
Not consciously. Not on purpose. And certainly not when I’m on my best manifesting game.
Because when a conscious creator says, “We’ll see,” it can be like throwing our manifesting power to the wind, abdicating our focusing skills and letting things run on default.
Sure, sometimes running on default is fabulous! (When we have a high-vibrating default.)
Sometimes it’s a great way to release attachment and enhance alignment.
But sometimes it’s not that.
A friend was relaying his plans for an upcoming surgery, when he hadn’t even seen a doctor yet. Already he was planning for the inevitable unwanted surgery.
I asked if that one was worth re-thinking. While he still had room to believe in an alternate outcome.
I mean, maybe it’s easier than you think? I’ve seen guys walk out of the exam room when the doctor had an easy fix on the spot – painless, fast, affordable! It happens! I’ve seen it!
But he knew so well how this was going to go down that there didn’t seem to be any talking him out of it. He had experience with it in the past, yada this yada that – he was having his surgery.
My suggestion not to plan so hard for something he supposedly didn’t want didn’t really take. (We all have muggle friends we cut wide berths for, right?)
Anyway, after my spiel about re-thinking his certainty about surgery, he politely replied, “We’ll see.”
Which in that case meant just give it a minute and he’ll be proven right.
Sometimes conscious creators use this phrase to help shake off a negative expectation and invite a different possibility into manifestation.
But sometimes we use it as an abdication of our creative power. We say “we’ll see” as if we weren’t the ones calling the shots here. We are calling the shots here. Whether we’re conscious of that or not.
Those who aren’t LOA savvy can’t be called out on this, because they don’t realize their creative power.
But we can do better.
We can steer it even just a little bit into better territory by deciding, “I’m sure it’ll all work out,” or “Everything will be fine, one way or another.”
We can be willing to see something positive, something helpful, something desired – instead of letting it unfold without our conscious good intention.
The next time you hear yourself saying, “We’ll see,” check your vibration. What are you expecting? Is it what you want, or is it worth rethinking?
Let’s make sure we’re visioning a positive outcome. It isn’t that hard when we’ve been practicing believing in good things, right?
We can practice seeing what we prefer. Because we’re cool like that. 😉
Last week at GVU we hosted my LOA mentor, Master Business Coach Jeanna Gabellini, where I asked the best way to raise a stubborn set point.
She shared great tips on that subject and others.
In fact, I’ve got a desk full of inspired notes as she’s been coaching new and existing and biz owners as part of the enrollment for her latest launch.
In last week’s email I said I’d share some of my favorite takeaways.
Here’s what I found at the top of the notes pile:
1. It takes a lot of trust to only do what you want to do.
Most folks are well-trained about doing what’s expected or required. We’re not nearly as well-supported in doing what feels good.
That’s why it can be tricky to honor that inner voice that calls us toward our highest joy.
When unconscious creators hear about that approach to life, they say things like, “Oh, wouldn’t that be nice?!” like it’s the easiest and laziest thing in the world to do.
But the truth is it takes awareness, in order to even know what your inspiration is. And then it takes trust that life won’t fall apart when you do it. And it also takes discipline to continue to engage it when the rest of the world thinks we’re supposed to buckle down and do the hard work.
It’s a skill to only do what you want to do, and one that a lot of people – even savvy creators – don’t yet have.
But that’s where alignment and allowing and effortless success come from. So it’s worth practicing!
2. Let go of scarcity decision making.
When we make decisions out of believing there isn’t enough (not enough men, not enough money, not enough time, not enough support, not enough clients, etc.) then that’s what we manifest.
Even if it was the smartest decision in the world, it can’t serve us if we’re in the vibration of lack.
So it’s worth first getting in the vibration of what we want (whether it’s abundance, success, joy, satisfaction, etc.) and then making the decision that feels best.
It might mean we land on a completely different decision, but even if we come to the same conclusion, we’re flowing a completely different energy and that gets different results.
3. Hoping is a sign you don’t believe in it fully.
Hoping means you’re not fully aligned. It’s not the worst vibration by any means, but those of us who have been in this conscious creation game a while know we can do better.
Hoping the action we take will work means we haven’t yet decided to have what we want.
It means we haven’t claimed it or fully owned it. We’re still trying to get there, instead of coming from there, as Neville might say.
Recognizing when you’re in a state of hopefulness is a chance to decide that you’re having what you want. It gives Universe a much more solid vibration to work with, and is kind of like playing with loaded dice. It stacks the deck in your favor.
So if you haven’t decided to have what you want yet, do that now!
In this guest post, Love & Magic Coach Cindie Chavez shares how she used law of attraction magic on a failing relationship.
Have you ever felt frustrated because that thing you’ve been envisioning is not happening?
Sometimes we start learning about magic, or law of attraction, or some other way of facilitating conscious creation and everything seems possible. The sky’s the limit!
Then we get down to the business of conscious creation.
We visualize, and meditate, and “act as if” and imagine what it will feel like once that thing we want manifests.
And it feeeels so good … until it doesn’t.
Until things go wrong.
For instance, take the time when I was in my terrible, horrible, no good, very bad marriage. I was a few years into learning about Law of Attraction. I was consciously creating some pretty awesome stuff.
Miracles seemed to happen on a regular basis. Wow. THIS was the life for me! Opportunities were everywhere, synchronicities were everywhen. Wow. VERY cool. I was really digging this conscious creation stuff.
Except my marriage was pretty rocky. Well, abusive actually. Painful. Stressful. No bueno.
But hey, I was working miracles with this LOA stuff, so … maybe all I needed to do was work some of this magic on my relationship.
Commence LOA on relationship program. Insert disc. [sound of metaphorical hard drive whirring] and then…
total system crash
Wait … what the %^&$#?
Did something go wrong?
Yeah, the relationship got worse and worse. Until it came apart.
Seriously. It flew apart like a model airplane flying into the side of a mountain.
So what happened? Why didn’t this LOA stuff work to fix my relationship?
Well, actually – it did work. It just didn’t create the outcome I expected.
You see, I began to get very clear on what I wanted …
That was what I was envisioning. THAT was where I was aligned vibrationally.
And guess what – it’s pretty obvious now that my ex was not a vibrational match to this relationship I desired. And so, pretty quickly things fell apart.
It wasn’t because LOA didn’t work. It wasn’t because my alignment was off or my vibration was wonky. Not at all. The Law of Attraction worked perfectly, just as it always does.
The clearer I got about what my ideal relationship looked like, the further away my vibration was from his vibration.
That was the magic part. The magic did work. The magic worked perfectly.
And, you’ve probably heard me say that magical activities work even better when we couple them with mundane activities that support our magic.
For example – you can meditate on the perfect job, and then it helps to also send a resume, right? You can envision a beautiful painting, but then you need to take out the paint brushes and get to work on it.
So, here’s the mundane activity part – I spent a few years studying communication techniques (including conflict resolution and even hostage negotiating!) and through all of my learning I devised a very powerful method to communicate what I wanted and needed.
I learned a few simple tools that supported my own self-knowledge and my ability to express what I desired. I learned how to set boundaries and how to ask for specific outcomes. And even though I would put this little process I’ve created in the “mundane action” category – it works like magic.
And … it works if you’re single or in a relationship, it works if you’re discussing with another person or brainstorming with yourself, it works to bring clarity about relationship stuff and clarity about your own stuff.
So I put together a little do-it-yourself workshop for you so you can learn this powerful process, too.
It’s comprised of a 2-page worksheet and a 38 minute audio where I lead you every step of the way through this simple process – and I’m making it available this month as a “pay what you want” offering. I call this workshop The Voice of Love, and once you use it I think you’ll agree that it works miracles.
Jeannette again: I’m a fan of Cindie’s work, and believe whether you tune into her Voice of Love workshop, or browse her blog, or plug in via her facebook group, that our lives are better off for having her positive influence in it.