Have you ever had the frustrating experience of asking someone what they want for Christmas and getting a really unhelpful answer like, “Oh, you don’t have to get me anything” or “Oh, anything would be fine”?
So you rack your brain trying to think of something good, shopping everywhere for something that might work.
Then when they open it you can tell they don’t like what they got?
Okay, so you can imagine my delight when a few weeks ago my folks gave me their detailed Christmas lists.
With website addresses and item numbers.
All of a sudden I could tell this was going to be a much more enjoyable holiday.
And that my folks were finally going to get what they wanted!
Cool how it works, right? They say what they want and I get it for them.
So much easier. So much more enjoyable. So much more efficient!
You might see where I’m going with this …
… because Universe wants to do the same for you.
It wants you to have what you want.
And it will get you whatever you say.
All you have to do is be clear.
(Not pussyfooting around, not trying to not want anything, not complaining that it never turns out right, not worried about what it’ll be like if you don’t get it.)
Just straight up – “Here’s my list.”
Now my folks seem to be new pros at this, so I have half a mind to pick their brain for tips on how to properly ask for what you want.
But they are not allowed to read this post because it contains a story from their daughter’s sex life, so stop reading now, mom and dad!
Okay, so here’s what I think my folks got right:
#1 – They felt worthy of having what they want.
There wasn’t any, “Oh, don’t worry about us, we don’t need anything” or “oh, you’re too busy to pay any attention to us” martydom. They were willing to receive what they really wanted. Super freakin’ cool!
#2 – They trusted I was capable and interested in getting them what they want.
They didn’t worry that I wouldn’t know how to shop online at an unfamiliar site; they didn’t worry I couldn’t afford it; they didn’t assume I wouldn’t want to or have time to. They considered me capable and willing. Which I am.
#3 – They got clear and communicated clearly.
They delivered a list with detailed instructions! That’s practically giving a gift to me. Makes it so much less stresful!
#4 – Their happiness doesn’t hinge on it.
They’re still going to enjoy life whether I deliver or not. Their well being isn’t dependent on getting these items. They’re living the good life, every day, without me delivering presents. I’m pretty sure they’ll still love me even if I show up on Christmas empty handed.
My folks might have more tips than that, but we’ll never know because they’re not reading this, right guys?! This is your last chance, mom and dad, to stop reading.
Because I wanted to share another powerful analogy for how helpful it is to ask for what we want.
The other day my favorite lover says to me, “How come you always call the shots in the bedroom?”
My standard answer to that question (yes, I do have a standard answer because I have heard it a time or two) is ‘because I’m the girl.’
But the real answer is because I’m the one who’s willing to say what she wants. That’s the only reason why.
(Which came from plenty of past contrast in the form of bad sex. I am simply unwilling to have less than fabulous sex any more. Giving clear instructions works much better.)
Anyway … I’d been thinking about how powerful it is (in general) to ask for what you want. Rather than just be used to what you get.
So I suggested to this favorite lover of mine that he practice it himself.
“Ask for what you want,” I invited. Y’never know til you ask!
So he says, “I’d like it if there was maybe some more nudity happening here.”
Okay, that’s not exactly a request. More of a statement or opinion – and tentative at that.
Which is kind of like when the woman hints, “Hmm, the garbage is getting full,” thinking that the guy is going to know that means he should take the garbage out. That’s not clear communication. Ask for what you want.
It might take some practice, but it’s worth it.
And it sure was in his case, because I was delighted to give him what he wanted, once I knew what that was. (The truth is I have fabulous reasons to be nude, thanks to the work I did in Body Love Lab. I will show this story off all day long!)
Here’s another example of the power of making clear requests …
A member of my Masters of Creation Circle wrote the other day about how everything she’d written out on a list had come true in short order.
She had a wide variety of things on that list – and within several days everything was happening before her very eyes! In easy peasy enjoyable ways. Gotta love how that works.
It was yet another reminder how magical it is for us to get clear about what we want.
So, when it comes to communicating with Universe we know it’s helpful to do this:
I don’t know about you, but I’m in the mood to go make some clear requests.
If you care to share your “What Universe Can Do for Me Next” list, or if you have additional tips about how to make effective requests to Universe, we’d love to hear from you in the comments.
In the $1,000 money manifesting post I mentioned a technique used to help line up with creating a financial windfall: a
Manifesting Success List.
I like that alignment method so much I thought it deserved elaboration.
First off, we know that we get what we vibrate.
So to get what we want, all we have to do is figure out how to vibrate it.
A lot of our desires are just that – desires. Things we don’t have yet. Things we want, but don’t feel as “real” or “done.”
In our minds we think of them as “out there” – in the hopeful future.
Which is where they stay if we don’t learn to expect or believe in them as real.
When we change our vibration from “wanting” to “having,” Universe has to deliver the goods. We’re home free when we begin thinking about our desire as a “done deal.”
That’s where the Manifesting Success List comes in. It’s a way to sort of trick ourselves into thinking of the yet-to-be-manifested desire as if it’s already done.
Those of you who read my newsletter know what I’m talking about here. (I wrote about this over the summer.)
It’s where we create a list that mixes in real life already-manifested successes with our newest hopes and dreams. The “realness” from the already-here items have a contagious influence on the new things – to help make them real sooner rather than later.
Here’s how to do it …
Write down two or more of your favorite recent manifesting successes. That is, things that have already come to fruition in real life that you feel really good about.
Then in the middle of that list write down the thing you’d like to happen next. So we’re tucking our new desire into the midst of “done deal” energy.
All there is left is to put the list somewhere you’ll see it daily.
I started mine with a super cool contest win that had seemed very unlikely. And I added the feed lot horse rescues that meant a lot to me. Both items were huge wins in my mind, full of good energy.
I actually wrote my new desire at the end of the list, but I think it’d work better placed in the middle.
Also key is to write each item down using past tense, like it’s already happened.
Here’s what happens each time we see the list – the new desire starts to take on a “done deal” feel. It starts to have an “of course-ness” about it.
When I first put my list together, the new desire stood out like a sore thumb.
But as time went on, and I remembered that once upon a time those other things on the list were big fantasies, too – it made it easier to expect that this new one would come to pass, too. The items on the list started to feel more the “same” each time I looked at it.
So the success vibe from that unlikely contest win makes it easier to believe in a thousand dollars out of the blue. And the high I still felt from the horse rescues helped align me to expecting tripled ebook revenue. Pretty cool, huh?
As the new things manifest, you can add new desires to the list. Those new desires take on a “realness” imbued from the already manifested dreams. And pretty soon you’ve got a very powerful magical list going.
I keep my list on the white board on the refrigerator, but anywhere you’ll see it regularly will suffice. Also, some of my items were written in code so as not to disturb others who might read it. (As in ex-beaus reading about new super hot dates.)
The time frame it’s taken for my list items to manifest seems to range from a couple days to a couple months.
And get this – when I look at my manifesting success list now, I can’t really remember which ones were “seeded” successes that had already happened and which ones were yet to unfold. That’s how “together” they feel now.
Which is the whole point of this manifesting technique – to turn those unmanifested desires into “done deal” vibrations.
Universe can’t help but prove us right when we send the signal that says “got what I wanted.”
We know not all manifesting tools work the same for everyone, so only play with this if it feels fun and light.
If you’ve got suggestions on other ways to use lists in attracting what we want, please share. Or if you have stories from using a list like this, we’d love to hear that, too!
You’ve got to admit, those two hour success stories are fabulous to hear!
(Thanks, Pernille, for guest posting your experience with us about how your phone rang with good news hours after listing what you wanted.)
And much as I’d like to say that’s how I roll, too, those immediate result stories tend to be the exception rather than the rule in my life.
It’s much more typical that my big “wins” creep in gradually – over weeks, months or even years.
This post is for anyone who’s been frustrated they didn’t get immediate magical results or still haven’t had even a whiff of their happy ending.
What gives when you’ve been making the same list for 4 1/2 years?
For me this isn’t a hypothetical question. My Intentions Journal dates as far back as October 2005 with the same elusive entry:
If that doesn’t deserve a couple rounds of “What the hell?!” I don’t know what does.
After all, I know how this works and I’m a pro at working it.
I know weight comes from resistant thoughts, and that all I gotta do is drop the resistance wherever I find it. I know this stuff. And I practice it!
But here’s what else I know:
And perhaps through her consistency in offering me this lesson, I will finally have to break down and just love and accept her as she is.
In that moment, there will finally be vibrational alignment. (Not just alignment to size six, or to 15 less pounds, but alignment to love.)
That’s when bodies get healthier and happier and even more smokin’ hot than they already are.
I guess the gift here is that the list didn’t immediately give me what I said I wanted, and in that opportunity I am forced to truly (eventually) learn unconditional love. For myself. For my body.
Come to think of it … maybe this list is magic after all.
The same way my crackhead neighbor taught me how to feel better before there was any reason to, my body is teaching me an even deeper skill level. Love yourself, love your life – no matter what.
I can do that.
In fact, I just flipped ahead in the Intentions Journal to recall what I wrote for January 2010. Here’s what it said (among other things): love my body, through and through, AS IS, now.
I might be on to something finally, huh? 😉