I’m supposed to be packing for a last minute trip to Chicago instead of sharing my thoughts here, but I can’t help but laugh at what I’ve manifested this week.
Many of my clients dream of appearing on Oprah, and since that’s the work we do – make dreams come true – we spend time activating that vibe. So even though it hasn’t been one of my personal dreams (the thought terrifies me!), I’ve spent a fair amount of time with the Oprah vibe.
Last week when I was invited to possibly participate in Oprah’s upcoming LOA special, I realized their vibe had finally rubbed off on me.
The only problem being that the thought of appearing on national tv makes me break out in a sweat. (Literally. Hands shaking, heart racing, working up a sweat. Pit of dread in stomach, feeling numb all over. Who would want this??) I must add, Oprah is one of my heroes, I admire her greatly, but the thought of speaking even briefly on her show is a frightening one indeed.
As it looked like this opportunity might actually come to fruition, I got more and more stressed out. (“What would I wear? What would I say? What do I do about this zit??”)
I wouldn’t even let my boyfriend kiss me after we finished closing on our first house together, because he was sick and I didn’t want to have a cold for the Oprah show. All my spare minutes were spent worrying about how I would handle myself. I couldn’t sleep for three nights in a row! (And I’m not pleasant without proper sleep.)
But then they booked the show up and didn’t need me any more. False alarm!
Hanging up from that phone call gave me my first sense of relief, peace and enjoyment since I had first seriously entertained the thought of appearing on the show. Even though I had to shake off minor feelings of rejection and disappointment (I think it was others’ disappointment for me that I was feeling – although the rejection was all mine), I reminded myself that I was already enjoying what I most wanted in life – a walk in the woods with my dog, a fire in my cozy home, sleeping in my own bed, working with my fabulous clients … I had it good.
Less than 24 hours later, Harpo called back to say they still wanted me if I could make it. They decided to tape two shows and would love for me to share a short little law of attraction success story (based on my pray rain journaling).
And with that phone call all my peace and enjoyment flew out the window again. I’m right back in worry, although now realizing there’s a huge gift for me here. This is my chance to practice what I preach – to let ME be in charge of my feelings – not a knee-jerk reaction to outside circumstances (that would under normal circumstances have me in full on panic mode).
I can enjoy this. I can have fun here. I can be myself. (Thanks, Rick, for that blessing.)
So I’m thanking Universe for the opportunity to stretch myself in new ways and get more comfortable with a bigger audience. I’ll baby step my way through it and remember that nothing is more important than that I feel good.
(But part of me still thinks Universe has a wicked sense of humor!)
That’s enough – I gotta go pack!!!