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How to Release Attachment

how to release attachmentAs many a conscious creator has experienced, the feelings of need and attachment can kink a lot of manifesting parties.
The more we want something, and the more our happiness depends on getting it, the more we push it away.

Seems like a rather cruel system when you think about it. The stronger the desire, the longer it takes to get here? How rude.

But that’s only when we’re attached to the results. That is, when we need this outcome in order to feel happy or satisfied.
It is possible, believe it or not, to have a strong desire for something without needing it.
And when we hit that energetic combination, that’s the manifesting sweet spot.
It’s one reason why we’re so good at manifesting the “little” stuff we don’t care too much about, and why the “big” things are so long in coming.
Because we’re fine either way with the “little” things, right? It’s no big deal if it happens or not. The things we really really really want, though – that can be a different story.
When our entire happiness is dependent on whether this desire comes to fruition or not – that is not vibrational alignment. That’s like vibrational limbo. It’ll slow your manifesting to a crawl! In fact, you may as well rely on action to make it happen when you’re flowing that kind of energy.
So, strong desire can be a good thing. There’s nothing wrong with really really wanting something.

Remember that strong desire and strong belief are the two keys to successful manifesting.

But don’t let that desire squash your good vibes now.
When you can really really want something, and

  • still know that you’re okay whether it happens or not, and
  • enjoy life now in lots of other ways, and
  • trust that if this good thing doesn’t happen something else fabulous will …

… that’s when you’ll see success.
The remedy is to be able to let go of attachment to results, to release need for this particular outcome, while still flowing a healthy desire.
Abraham has described this as a “loving what’s here and looking forward to what’s next” kind of perspective. That vibrational stance allows you to benefit from strong desire without kinking the manifesting party.
Here’s a compilation of  articles on the subject, designed to support your alignment by releasing attachment:

The Antidote To Attachment (sure fire way to release it)
How to Let Go (the good vibe community weighs in)
Want it Good or Want it Bad? (clean desire vs. dirty desire)
Letting Go of Attachment (from Zen Habits, read P through T)
How to Allow It without Giving Up (more wisdom from you guys)
LOA Success Secret #4 (don’t make it important)
How to Allow when the Pressure’s On (my “fine either way” story with a sick kitty)
How to Drop Need (four tips to release need)

My quick take on how to resolve this vibe-kinker:

  1. appreciate lots of other things in life
  2. enjoy whatever I can here now
  3. trust that Universe knows how to delight me in a wide variety of ways, so I can loosen up about how that happens
  4. I sing Bobby Pinson’s “fine either way” chorus to myself, to remember that no matter what happens, it’s all good. I’m just fine no matter what.

This is a concept worth mastering as a conscious creator, since it makes a big difference in our alignment.
If you’ve got tips to share, please do, since this is a subject that many a creator grapples with. Thanks in advance!

  • November 30, 2013

Fine Either Way

how to allow under pressureQuick LOA story from the weekend:

Saturday morning started with a minor heated discussion with my sweetie about the cleaning routine in the house.  It was with that frustrated vibe flowing that I checked in on the foster kitties.

One of them looked .. mm, not so fabulous.  His siblings were perky and playing, but this guy was lethargic and unresponsive.
I thought it could be low blood sugar, but my syrup solution didn’t help.

“Relax,” I told myself.  Maybe it needs more time to work.  Take a shower in the meantime in case you need to run him to the vet.

Fifteen minutes later he looked even worse.  And this time I noticed vomit on the blanket.

Not good!

The symptoms pointed to distemper – incredibly deadly for kittens.  The incubation time would have been right, the vomiting, the sudden decline, unresponsive to sugar … definitely not good.

I expected the vet would be busy on a Saturday, but would squeeze me in.  They were, but they did.

(I didn’t see until later that my frustration, fear, and expectation to see the vet played into the unfolding situation.)

On the drive over, tears welled up while prepping that this guy might very well be taking a trip to euthanization, and that his siblings might follow suit.

That overwhelming negative emotion clued me in to getting deliberate.

I didn’t want to go with fearful expectations.  I would at least shift the energy so I didn’t contribute to a “bad” outcome.

If he wanted to go, he could go – but it wouldn’t be surrounded with my worry and heartbreak.  I would escort him with peace, love and acceptance.

It sounded good, anyway.

That’s the first step, though – becoming aware & knowing what I want.

The turnaround started with telling myself that “death isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.”

That thought made me smile.

I was thinking this kitty’s death would be a tragedy, but death is a blissful experience from what I’ve heard.  (And not just from Abraham.)

Who could blame him for choosing to be here for just four short weeks?  Surely that’s the BEST time of all – he had a doting mother who kept him warm, well fed and clean; two fabulous siblings to play with.  Plus, he altered the lives of many people – directly and indirectly.

He did good work, had a great time – who could fault him for breezing out now?  I could understand that.

And with that understanding, relief came.

With that bit of relief, I leveraged a little more.

Plus, how do I know he’s going to die, anyway?  Maybe this is no big deal!

And even if he does die, maybe his brothers will be fine.

Ahhh … even MORE relief with that line of thinking.

So we’re on our way to the best vet in the state. This kitty will get every chance there is to heal.

Now it’s my time to detach from needing him to heal. 

“I’m okay either way.”  I practiced that thought a couple times in order to start to feel it.  What would it feel like to be okay with his death?

Bobby Pinson’s chorus “I’m Fine Either Way” came to mind.

I felt myself releasing attachment to the outcome, and sprinkled on some additionally supportive thoughts.  “He had a great life if he goes now – you can’t feel bad about that.  And if he stays, it’s a miracle.  I’m fine either way!”

As I chose a parking spot at the vet’s office, I thought I better pick one that’ll be easy to pull out of in case I’m a big mess of tears from walking out without my kitten.
And I was okay with the thought of being sad.

It’s okay to be sad.

Once inside the vet’s office, kitty got a quick escort to the back.

Sitting in the lobby gave me time to get okay again with whatever he wanted to do.  He could stay; he could go; I was doing all I could on my end action-wise, and I was surely going to do it vibration-wise too.

So how could I feel better?

I struck up conversation with other clients in the lobby.  One woman admired another client’s handsome hound dog.  She talked about her own hound dog mix back at home.  An older gentleman said his cat was in for radiation therapy.  One of my cats had it as well, so I knew how expensive it was.  He said he might have to live in a “Tough Shed,” but his 8 year old cat would get the treatment he needed.  Lots of love in this room.

The lobby also had a cat tower with five foster cats up for adoption.

I said hello to Susie, a friendly young feline whose legs and back were broken when her owner started the car engine she was sleeping on.  It’s hard not to feel good when you’re seeing a living miracle before your very eyes.  Not just that she survived that accident, but somehow made it to a vet where someone cared enough to cover the bill and put her up for adoption?!  And she’s still friendly through all of that?!

Miracle.

Pure and simple.

They’re all around – these miracles.

In fact, here comes my favorite vet, Dr. H, to say hello.  Just a friendly visit, he’s not working on my kitty.  He asks how I am, I say fine.  He says, “Better than your kitty.”  I know, looks like distemper.

Dr. H says, actually the test came back negative.

“Negative for distemper?!”

Right.  Negative for distemper, he repeats.

It felt like an out of body experience in that very moment!  Because I know if it’s not distemper, my kitty will be fine!

It’s a miracle!  At least, feels like one to me.

Two hours later back at home he’s looking so much better I have trouble figuring out which one he is.  Oh, the syrup-sticky mouth guy – that’s him.  Playing with his brother’s tail.

Looking as if nothing was ever wrong.  We still don’t know what it was.

I recognize, I really AM fine either way.  AND … it’s great to have him here.

If I can get to “allowing” on this situation – I can get there on anything.

And although I have no idea what part my vibe played in kitty’s life or death experience, I’m at least sure that by managing my vibration I didn’t make things worse.

  • August 4, 2008
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