Conscious creators know that whatever we resist, we call toward us.
Not wanting something is like turning on a powerful magnet to make it happen.
The more we don’t want it, the stronger we magnetize it.
(Think cancer, terrorism, crooked politicians, etc.)
It’s why my girlfriend attracted weird guys and married men while I was having nothing but great romances.
It’s why my colleagues had issues getting paid when that was virtually an unheard of experience for me.
I just didn’t worry about it the way they did.
Anything we’re trying to avoid is having the opposite effect. It just activates it and calls it forth.
That’s why it’s worth engaging a different relationship with the things we don’t want.
Instead of resisting it, or even trying to make peace with it, I’m using a radical alternative:
Like it’s what I wanted all along. Like it’s the best thing that could have happened. Like this is Universe answering my best dream come true.
Because if you can approach it that way, it will become that for you.
Recently the IRS sent me a little letter asking for big money. (Except it wasn’t a request exactly. It was more of a “you will do this” notice.)
Which wasn’t my favorite thing, to say the least.
In fact, for years, I have nurtured resistance for this very experience. I knew it was there cooking all along – and I tried not to be afraid of it. But there it was, just the same.
Maybe it was an inherited fear, maybe a cultural one. Wherever it came from, it’s fair to say that the IRS is on my top 10 “don’t wants” list.
Which is, I’m sure, why they’re writing me. I was a big magnet for it due to how much I didn’t want it.
So to expect any sort of happy ending here, I knew I had to find a way to drop the resistance and make some peace.
With my usual techniques falling short (yes, it shifted it somewhat, but I could still feel the charge that was there), I turned to a more extreme approach for neutralizing resistance:
Live it like I picked it.
Engage this experience like it’s the best thing that could have happened. As if I chose it on purpose. As if talking to the IRS, having the privilege of being on their radar, is a dream come true. Like I just won the lottery. Like I’m the lucky girl they picked to talk to!
When I can approach it that way, things are bound to unfold better than when I was being dragged kicking and screaming into it.
It’s only my perception that this is a bad thing that makes it so.
When I’m willing to change my mind about it, the experience changes, too.
And this holds true for whatever we might be resisting – bad breakups, divorces, bankruptcies, losing our jobs, losing our homes, having cars stolen, etc.
In fact, I’ve heard Abe share how Esther, in the heat of contrast, will turn the vibe around by naming ten good things about it.
Could I name ten good things about getting this attention from the IRS? Well, I’m the best there is, so if anyone can do it, it’s me. (That’s my little pep talk to get good at this list-making challenge.)
What’s the good news about getting this letter from the IRS?
I was stretching by the time I hit #9, but that was easier than I thought!
This is helping me remember who I am and how I operate. There’s no such thing as a real problem unless I decide to make it one.
And in the big scheme of things, this is, as my dad would say, “Rich people problems.” This is not a real thing to worry about! (Not that anything is, but especially money!)
Sometimes we learn that best by actually going through it. As is apparently the case for me.
You’re invited to “live it like you picked it” the next time a big bad monster appears in your life. Remember who you are (eternal and divine) and how you roll (you’re a master).
You know how this system works and you’ve got good skills to bring to the party. Fear can be fun for a minute or two since it runs the whole expansion routine, but don’t let it get crazy on you.
You know too much to play it that way.
(That’s my truth pep talk for both of us.) 🙂
Last month Namaste Faustino shared this prayer in the comments of another post.
While he used this to release an obsession with a foiled love interest, we could use it any time we need help letting go attachment to a person or thing.
(Including a prospective employer or job, a potential investor or funding source, a baby adoption, a tenant or property, etc.)
Here is Namaste’s story, followed by the prayer:
A long time ago I met a woman named Kelli. She was amazing; we clicked but the next step never happened.
Problem was I couldn’t stop thinking about her. This had never happened to me before so I was at a loss about what to do.
This went on for a really long time and it drove me nuts.
Finally the mother of a friend of mine heard about what I was going through and came to the rescue.
She said, “You need to use the Prayer of Release. All you have to do is say it out loud one time. If this woman is meant to be in your life, you’ll continue to think about her. If she’s not, the desire to think about her will drop away.”
I was willing to try anything so I did.
To my total and complete surprise it worked! I stopped thinking about Kelli and that was that.
I’ve given this prayer to others and seen equally positive results. If I ever have another client who is convinced s/he is meant to be with someone, the prayer is the first place I’d start …
And now for the letting go prayer itself:
PRAYER OF RELEASE
I accept all people, places and things that are a part of my path.
I ask that all people, places, and things that are a part of my path come to me.
I release all people, places and things that are not a part of my path.
I ask that all people, places and things that are not a part of my path release me.
I hope this prayer helps bring you peace and allowing next time you’re holding on too tightly. It’s already worked for me!
Ever been stuck with noisy gremlins spoiling your manifesting party? Namaste Faustino shares inspired solutions in today’s guest post. Enjoy!
Have you ever said an affirmation like, “I always have more than enough money” and your mind says, “No, you don’t”?
Have you ever made a vision board, including something like a new car, dream vacation, or a million dollars and the voice in your head said, “This never works”?
Have you ever done a visualization of meeting your soul mate and your mind said, “Yeah, right”?
Well, I’ve got some good news. A solution has been found!
I was listening to an audio interview with Bob Doyle, who is the creator of the Wealth Beyond Reason Program and a featured teacher in the movie The Secret. What he said about fixing these problems is brilliant.
I’ll use affirmations in the following example to illustrate his solution, but keep in mind it applies to vision boards and visualizing techniques too.
If you’ve been doing self-development for any amount of time you’ve run across a teacher’s advice to “affirm what you want, which will result in those desires coming into your life.”
Examples of some common affirmations would be ….
A tiny portion of the population will say affirmations like these, feel good and just like the teacher suggested, results are achieved.
Most people however say an affirmation like the ones above and immediately the voice in their heads says, “Yeah, right! Who are you kidding?”
Now the self-development teacher said this would happen and explained to the person that she just needs to keep saying it over and over until her mind agrees. This might work for a few but the vast majority end up giving up because their minds always say, “Yeah right” after saying the affirmation, no matter how many times they say it.
Now here’s what Bob Doyle figured out that’s brilliant.
He said, “When your mind says, “Yeah right” you’re encountering resistance. Probably a limiting belief of some kind you hold. Don’t waste time trying to hammer the affirmation into your mind, now is the time to use your favorite resistance releasing technique!”
What’s a resistance releasing technique?
It’s a technique designed to release your resistance to the affirmation (the luxury car you are putting on your vision board, dream job you are visualizing yourself having) so that you can allow it into your life. After using the resistance releasing technique, you’ll find that you say the affirmation and instead of your mind saying, “Yeah right” it will be happy and accepting of it. Problem solved and get ready for the results, baby!
There are a lot of resistance releasing techniques, you just have to find one that works for you.
Some examples are …
Emotional Freedom Technique
This is a method where you tap your fingers in different areas of the body to release resistance. It might sound hokey, but there is something to it. Too many people report amazing results after getting over their initial skepticism.
I discovered this method in my early 30’s. I’d been attempting to manifest the woman of my dreams for over a year and I was getting zero results. I kept rechecking my manifesting process and each time I confirmed I was doing everything right. Finally I realized that if I was doing everything right, it couldn’t be that the law of attraction wasn’t working, it had to be me.
So I asked myself, “Why wouldn’t I want the woman of my dreams to show up in my life?” To my complete surprise I wrote down reason after reason why not. It took some time but I came up with solutions to all those reasons.
Within four weeks of coming up with the last solution, I had four woman show up in my life, when I couldn’t get a date for a year. One of those women became my girlfriend, she helped me clarify my desires even more, and then the woman of my dreams showed up.
This experience taught me that the only reason something you want does not show up, is because your “want” is mixed with “don’t wants” (i.e. resistance). Get rid of the “don’t wants,” so you are left with “pure want” and watch how fast things manifest. This is my favorite resistance releasing technique, if you have questions about it, feel free to ask.
Not affirmations, that wasn’t a misspelling, afformations were created by Noah Saint John. The idea is that instead of saying an affirmation like, “I am a millionaire” which your mind rejects, you turn it into a question, “Why am I going to be a millionaire?” which cause your mind to start finding answers, answers that your mind won’t reject and cause resistance to because they are true.
Bob’s solution is brilliant! I’m all about releasing resistance when manifesting, it just never occurred to me to use releasing techniques in conjunction with affirmations, dream boards, or visualizing.
I’ve done a ton of vision boards. And I’ve gotten a lot of great results. But I had definitely not gotten some of the things I’ve put on there time and time again. When I update my vision board next time, instead of putting something on there that makes me think, “Didn’t show up last time, probably won’t this time” I’ll use my favorite resistant releasing technique. Then when I put it on, it will feel good to see it every day because I will expect it to show up. I love it!
Namaste Faustino learned about the law of attraction from the Rosicrucians (amorc.org) when he was eight years old. Initially skeptical, he tried out the law of attraction technique and manifested a little red radio. After that he was hooked and over the past 29 years has consciously created cash, trips, girlfriends, a diamond and even a millionaire mentor. Connect with Namaste on Facebook.
Yesterday’s Get What You Want ezine focused on how letting go and releasing the “wanting” energy is key to allowing the desire to come to fruition.
Sometimes the best way to release the “want” (when we’re really kinked) is to say “screw it,” “whatever,” “oh well,” etc.
MissyB wrote in the last post’s comment section that it’s simple, yet hard to do. @ScientistCoach tweeted last night that: “Sometimes [it] is so difficult to just let go. Any tip?”
And Pernille’s “flipover” method lit you up as a great way to release the desire after claiming it.
So I thought @ScientistCoach’s question deserved a chorus of responses from you Good Vibe Gurus about how best to let go.
I suspect we’ve covered this before, but I couldn’t quickly locate where (although this post is relevant), so here’s a great opportunity to remind how to let go when we really, really want something.
Turning it over to you: what’s worked for you – in real life – to let go and surrender the resistance that often goes hand in hand with strong “wanting” energy?
It’s true that strong desire and strong belief are essential components to swift manifesting, but is it possible for our desire to become so strong it actually holds up the process?
It’s easy to conclude that’s the case, when seeing that things we want the most also seem to be the things that take the longest to arrive. And things we care about the least get here the quickest.
It’s enough to make someone ask wth?!
That may have been my client’s question this weekend when I asked her to get her attention OFF of her desire and focus on something – anything – that felt good instead. Because her long-held desire was no longer a friendly topic.
Sometimes we get to the point where our desire is infused with a yearning, frustrated or impatient type energy that clouds the picture.
Anyone else not felt that at some point in time? Where you want something SO BAD you’re ready to shoot daggers at the next person who has it? Or you want to wring the neck of the next LOA guru who says all you have to do is allow it in?
I’ve been there. And that’s how I know that feeling that way does not help. It does not help to want something that bad. Because by the time you get to that state of mind, you’re flowing contrary energy that slows Universe’s delivery of it to a crawl.
This is where it’s helpful to recognize it is possible to hold strong desire for something while still being happy without it. To want something while not needing it to unfold in order to be satisfied. To have a big fat dream way out in front, but at the same time finding complete delight and fulfillment with life as it is now.
That’s what it’s like to want it good. Pure, clean desire; free of doubt, fear, frustration and attachment. It’s the space of enjoying what is, while still having a conscious recognition that what’s coming next will be even more fabulous!
There’s no “pushing against” what is, and very little (if any) time spent noticing it’s not here yet.
Because it doesn’t matter if it comes or not – life is good anyway. There’s no need for it to happen, because we’re not making the realization of the desire conditional upon feeling good. We feel good now!
As shared by Abraham, pure desire feels confident and positive, as in: “I want it, I got it, it’s coming, I know it.”
While yearning sounds like: “I haven’t had it, but I’ve really wanted it, and I’ve done the work, and it hasn’t come yet, but I know it will, I know it will, I know it will, … it hasn’t come yet, I’ve written it down, I’m really getting sick and tired of this, I’ve wanted this my whole life, it’s not fair that he has it …” (One of my all time favorite Abe tracks!)
Wanting something with pure desire feels fresh and light and free and frisky. When you talk about you get a rush that feels good. When you want something you’ve begun to doubt, it feels like work.
When you feel that “work” feeling creeping in, it’s time to remember to want it good, not want it bad.
My favorite way to redirect when I’m wanting it bad?
Remember that there’s plenty going right already. There’s more to enjoy in this present day reality than I could even count. But I’ll start counting anyway just to prove it to myself: strawberries, cats, Bella Foster artwork, chocolate, Christmas lights, warm purple sweatshirts fresh from the dryer, pink sparkly pens, modern plumbing, nice neighbors … get the idea?
When we combine this genuine and strong appreciation for life as it is right now with the pure desire of what’s caught our fancy next, we’re home free.
Last post we explored the subconscious “problems” we believe in that keep us from getting what we want.
As in, believing that becoming wealthy is an issue because of the extra taxes incurred. Or that losing weight is a problem because of the uncomfortable attention garnered from the opposite sex. (Read the post again if this phenomenon doesn’t sound familiar.)
Now that we have brought those potential party poopers to light, what’s next?
Just bringing those contrary thoughts to the light of day can be enough to disappear them. (Yes, you can “disappear them.” They’ll evaporate in the light when you usher them out of the dark corners of your mind.)
But, some of the more stubborn stinkers may call for intervention.
If you’ve got a stubborn thought at cross-purposes of your dreams and desires, never fear. You’re still in charge. Here’s what to do:
1. Relax. This isn’t a big deal or a big mystery. Don’t let anxiety about a contrary thought add to negative energy. It’s not a big deal, especially when you’re observing it in action! You are SO in the power seat once you’re seeing clearly what’s happening, so it’s a great time to relax.
2. Get curious. We know what we resist persists, so we don’t want to engage a “war” against the thoughts that aren’t serving us. Observe them from a friendly, curious place. Just noticing what’s up, maybe even being entertained by it.
3. Check references. You know how before you hire a stranger off the street or accept a new tenant into your house you make a phone call or two to check them out? You can do the same thing with these limiting thoughts – inquire; question; test them out. Byron Katie’s work is a powerful process for this step.
4. Rethink it. Once you’ve poked and prodded and looked under the hood of the old contrary thought, it’s easier to find a new, more aligned, perspective. After you’ve tried on a few alternative thoughts, you’re bound to find one you like better. Entertaining that thought is going to serve you really well.
That’s how simple it is. Let’s look at an example:
My realization that somewhere deep down I believe once I’m loaded my sweetie will relate to me differently, as in a huge (read: threatening) shift of power in the relationship is actually kind of interesting. (That’s me getting curious, rather than judging myself for it or defending the truth of it. I’m just curious about it.)
How funny that I would think that! I wonder where that came from – in fact, maybe it’s time to check references. Is it true that my beau will be threatened when I’m the primary income earner; when his income is a pittance compared to mine? (That’s me putting the Work to work.)
You know, now that I think about it, I have to admit, he might be delighted with that situation. I can imagine he may very well have it in him to be a kept man. Now that thought I’m having some fun with. Is there another one I like better?
Maybe this one: I read recently that women who earn the money tend to think of it as “our” money whereas men not so much. So if that were the case, me making significantly more than my sweetheart might actually be a huge equilator. (I made that word up and I like it.)
That’s nice, but I like that other thought better – the one where Russ is excited to have a girlfriend whose income dwarfs his. Why not, huh?!
Just like that, I’ve begun to resolve my subconscious “problem” in being rich.
And, this isn’t the only way. Let’s hear from those of you who have alternative practices for unloading those thoughts that are preventing your total alignment to what you want.
Who will share?
PS – be sure to read comments for Kim’s excellent addition as step #5!
Sometimes I think I’m so clever …
Last week I told a client that deliberate creation was this simple:
First, you Recognize a thought that’s not serving you;
Second, you Release that thought, and
Third, you Redirect toward a new thought that serves you better.
Simple process, and works like magic.
In fact, I’ve probably done it a dozen times already today. Once when I recognized I was thinking about how mad Russ would be if he knew Verrall was leaving special kitty food on our front porch in early morning hours; later when I thought I’m going to be tired all day because I woke up at five and couldn’t get back to sleep; and just a few minutes ago when I wondered whether the little female kitty was also fighting off distemper virus.
(Her brother just got released from the hospital this morning after being diagnosed with distemper Saturday afternoon. That’s the quickest recovery we’ve seen/manifested for our foster kitties- YAY! Thanks, Pray Rain Bloggers for joining me in it!)
Anyway, in each instance I recognized I was holding a thought that would take me to a place I didn’t want to go; I let it go in order to clear the slate for a new thought; then dialed up a new thought that was more aligned to what I wanted.
And, of course, Russ didn’t know Verrall stopped by this morning (maybe because Verrall didn’t); my energy’s been great all day; and sister kitty is sleeping peacefully in my lap right now. I’m 100% positive all is well with her!
So next time you’re thinking this manifesting stuff is too complicated, just remember the three Rs: Recognize, Release, Redirect and put them to practice in your life to create yourself a miracle or two.
A week ago my sweetie and I started watching Mickey Rourke in The Wrestler and got two thirds through before the DVD player went fritzy. All week long I’d been imagining how it might end, really enjoying the anticipation of alternate possibilities.
Last night with a new DVD player connected we finished watching
(Spoiler Alert: skip this post if you don’t want to hear how it ends!)
… we finished watching Randy the Ram self-destruct. For some reason, that wasn’t one of the endings I’d anticipated!
Earlier that same day I listened to Abraham say they think we enjoy the drama of our lives – of building the tension in order to more thoroughly enjoy the release of resistance. (“Wheeeeeeeeee” is how we squeal with delight once we let go of our overstretched rubber band.)
I thought of a couple friends who have these habits, whether it’s reaching the brink of financial ruin before pulling off a save, or sabotaging relationship after relationship, or continually manifesting illness in their body.
Thinking of their drama, I was grateful that I don’t have a habit of resistance in my own life.
And then this morning I did something that got my attention: I put the new retainer in (that the dentist was excited to give me three weeks ago) – I put it back in after breakfast.
Which was unusual, because even though that’s what I’m supposed to do after every meal, I haven’t done it once yet. Wearing it during the daytime is a hassle. It makes me talk funny, and I’m not one for following the rules anyway.
So when I put it back in for the day, without really purposely intending to, I wondered why. Then I realized I put it back in because I’ve become accustomed to the tension it provides.
Accustomed to the tension.
It made me wonder what other tension I might be choosing unconsciously, just because I’ve become so accustomed to it?
Here’s the thing, guys: I don’t think I’m the only one doing this.
Remember the scene from What The Bleep where Candace Pert talks about how we become addicted to our emotions? Because our emotions have a chemical component that our body cells not only adapt to, but become so used to that the body will actually crave it when it goes without?
Yeah, like addicted to drama. Or self-destruction. Or adrenalin. Or tension.
In looking through other areas of life besides the dental retainer, I realized I’m also used to tension between my ex and my sweetie. I take it for granted. I don’t even bother manifesting something different!
I’m also used to tension when it’s time for foster dogs and cats to go up for adoption. (Why wouldn’t I let go of THAT?!) I’m used to tension when I travel. Sheeh, and that’s just what I found in the first couple seconds of looking!
Imagine if Randy the Ram or his sweetie Cassidy had been able to end old patterns of self destruction and disappointment and were able to instead choose relief and happiness?
Surely they could have, had they just been more aware of their situation and their power to change it. And surely we can to.
When we become aware – which we do simply by observing – we can make new choices in support of what we want, rather than what we’re used to.
Here it is almost noon and my retainer’s still in! Makes me wonder if perhaps I’m ready to give up the tension of being a rule-breaker? ha!
I’m curious to hear whether any of this hits home for you. Do you see any habits of creating tension in your life? Are there scenes you find yourself repeating, even though you might choose differently if you were paying better attention? Are there any life tensions you take for granted?
Or maybe you have a story of how you DID release old habits of tension to allow more relief into your life? We’d love to hear from you!